The third fic in the Sunglasses of Love series. Horatio has problems adapting to his new life.

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My name is Horatio Caine.

Over the past few years, I fell in love with my sunglasses. We couldn’t be together, because society would never allow the love between a man and his sunglasses.

Recently, I decided that I don’t care what society thinks. I never listened to society before; why should I start now?

So my sunglasses and I went public. We told anyone who would listen about our love. We screamed it from the roof of the crime lab. We went picnicking in the park. We went on a romantic cruise to Jamaica.

Upon our return, my sunglasses promptly informed me of a recent decision she had made.

We needed to see what our relationship was without sex, she said. So for two months, no sex.

It was as if someone took a chisel and tried to chip my cold heart open (they failed, of course). No sex with the woman I love? How could that be! How would I be able to survive?

So I made a mistake. I found a new pair. A new pair of sunglasses that would satisfy my every physical need.

Every time we were together, I couldn’t help but think of my sunglasses. The sunglasses I was in love with, the sunglasses that made the sun rise and set every day. I was nothing without her. Had I made a mistake? Could I live without sex?

I went to my sunglasses and apologized for what I did. I had needs, I had proclaimed, but I realized that with her, I have everything I could ever need. I begged for her forgiveness. She forgave me eventually.

I, Horatio Caine, learned my lesson. Don’t fuck with the sunglasses.

No pun intended.