Think You're a Big Man?
By: Kat and Erica

DISCLAIMER: WE AT WRESTLING FANGIRLS INC OWN NONE OF THE WWE SUPERSTARS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY. RACHEL VAN DAM HOWEVER IS PROPERTY OF ONE KAT HAMILTON.

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Hunter had delivered a Pedigree to Randy Orton and was about to pin him for a three count. Edge was making his way into the ring to stop him only to get the Sweet Chin Music from Shawn. The referee finished the count and called for the bell. Once again Degeneration X had won. The referee raised Shawn and Hunter's hands and their music began to play. Edge and Randy slowly rolled out of the ring and Lita helped them up the ramp.

The crowd was going nuts as Hunter motioned for a microphone. "Listen boys it was fun playing with you but tell Vince that he thinks that this is all it's going to take bring down DX then you tell him that we got-"

Vince's music hit as he strutted towards to center of the stage. He patted Randy on the shoulder as he limped towards the backstage area. Vince continued his way down the ramp walking only the way he could. He stopped outside the ring. "Well, what do you think it'll take to bring DX down?"

Shawn and Hunter looked at each other for a minute and laughed. They talked back and forth for a few moments and shook their heads. Hunter was astounded by Vince's question. "Seriously Vince, nothing can take Degeneration X down! It'd take I don't know- magic or an act of God- or something like that."

Vince seemed to be in deep thought for a few minutes before he put an evil smile on. "Well, gentlemen I thank you for your time and next week I'll be putting you two in a handicap three on two match against... Well, I figure it out then." His music came back on and he strutted back up the ramp with a newfound confidence.

Hunter and Shawn got out of the ring and went back to their dressing room and got ready to leave for the night. Shawn was a little worried. "I mean did you see that look on Vince's face? He's come up with somethin'."

"Shawn would you relax? It's Vince! He's tried all sorts of the stuff to bring us down before and it never worked so why should it now?"

"Good point." Shawn was stuffing his wrestling gear into his gym bag. "What do you think Vince has up his sleeve?"

Hunter sat down in a chair and started to put his shoes on. "I don't know. He's probably gone to find some priest or something to pray for that act of God."

"That's not funny."

"Honestly I don't know. I mean as crazy as Vince has been getting over the past ten years I think his sanity is about to run into a brick wall. As far as we know he could be hiring highly trained ninjas to take us out as we speak."

"Or maybe he could be plotting to-."

"Maybe we should be quiet in case Vince is listening." Hunter stood up and looked around the room. He looked at Shawn with a goofy grin on his face.

"Ninjas?"

---

Vince got into his limo as his phone rang. "Vince McMahon."

"Mr. McMahon listen I-"

"Coach have you found anyone yet?"

"Sir please I have no idea how look for something like this. Maybe we should try asking The Un-"

"That won't be necessary!" Vince adjusted his tie. "Why don't you talk one of the other Superstars into talking to Van Dam's wife Rachel. She'd probably know where to look."

"I'll try sir."

"I expect a call from you in the morning to let me know what you've found out." Vince's voice was in a low menacing growl.

"Yes sir Mr. McMahon." The squeak in Coach's voice was quite prevalent.

Vince hung up his phone and sat silent for a minute before chuckling evilly.

---

Coach meanwhile was looking backstage for someone, anyone willing to trick Rachel Van Dam into spilling about some occult store. Rachel was Rob's wife of eight years not to mention a former girlfriend of Shawn Michaels whom she was still VERY good friends with. She was also very much into Witchcraft and other things that Coach just found creepy. "Who could I get to ask her? Eugene? She likes him. Nah he'll never work." He then saw Maria walk right past him. "Maria!"

The bubbly Diva turned around and looked at Coach with a beaming smile. "Yeah Mr. Coachman?"

"I need-" He was thinking of way to phrase what he wanted to say without sounding suspicious or confusing Maria. "I need you to do a favor for me."

"Sure!"

"Would you go and ask Rachel Van Dam where..." Coach thought for a minute. What was something Rachel was always talking about? Herbs! Cures! Alternative medicine stuff like that! "Where I can find some herbs."

Maria gasped. "Coach!"

Realizing the error he just made by putting the words Van Dam and HERBS in the same sentence. "No! Not that! I mean like Lavender or Chamomile. You know that alternative medicine stuff she's always talking about."

"Oh!" Maria's smile turned to an expression of concern. "What's wrong Mr. Coachman? Are you sick?"

"I've just been having some headaches lately, problems sleeping. I was looking to try something different." Coach put his arm around Maria and drew her in close. "Listen could you ask Rachel where I could find a store that sells stuff like that? And don't use my name. Just say a friend is asking."

"Why can't I just say Coach?"

"Because you know Maria..." He looked around for a minute. "Me and Rachel haven't always gotten along and if she knew it was for me she'd probably not tell you."

Maria pouted. "Well, that's just mean."

"So will you do it?"

"Of course! I'll go find Rachel and be back in a few minutes!" Maria skipped off to go find Rachel and left Coach nervously biting his nails. She continued down a couple of halls backstage towards the dressing rooms and found Rachel near the back door of the arena talking to Carlito. "Rachel! Can I talk to you?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and excused herself from Caribbean Cool and walked slowly over to Maria. Really she didn't have a problem with the ditzy Diva but, sometimes she just got on her nerves. "What'd ya want?"

Maria thought for a minute trying to remember what Coach had said. "Well, Rachel I've got this... friend. He's been having these... really bad headaches and some... problems sleeping. And... he wants to try some- what did he call it?"

"Alternative medicine?"

"That's it!" Maria was elated to have remembered. "So he was wondering if you knew of any places in the area that would sell stuff like that!"

Rachel thought for a minute and was about to open her mouth when she realized something... No way was Maria ever really going to remember what she said. And honestly she felt for whoever Maria's "friend" was as Maria was probably the source of some of those headaches. "Hang on one sec, I'll write down a couple of places that are in the next town." Next week they were set to be in Cleveland and Rachel had known of a couple of good stores. She grabbed a notebook and pen out of her gym bag and wrote down the addresses.

Maria grabbed the piece of paper and squealed, "thank you!" She then hugged Rachel and ran back down the hallway to the anxiously waiting Coach. "Mr. Coachman! I got it!"

"Shh!" Coach put his hand over Maria's mouth. "Remember what I said?" After she shook her head yes he removed his hand. He took the sheet of paper and looked at it. "This is it?"

"Yeah." Maria was beaming once again. "She said they're all in Cleveland somewhere." She looked at Coach. "So I hope you feel better Mr. Coachman!" She gave Coach a hug and peck on the cheek before she off again.

Coach looked at the paper and got out his cell phone to dial for Mr. McMahon. "Hello Mr. McMahon. I got what you needed."