(A/N: I was reading EnterpriseAlien’s hilarious versions of some fairy tales—you ROCK, EnterpriseAlien!—and one day I was bored in Geometry class and this idea came into my head.)

Every day is the same day. I cook, I clean, I scrub, I wash, and I follow Mother’s and my sisters’ orders. I’m sick and tired of this.

Worse enough is that some idiot guy threw a dance and everyone just screamed. Everyone went except me. Eh, I didn’t really want to go anyway.

“Hello!”

I screamed and nearly jumped out of my skin. A little nervous, I managed to turn and see some weird old lady. “Hello, Cinderella,” she said to me. “I am your fairy godmother.”

“Yeah, and I’m the empress of China.”

“Be serious!” she screamed. I could see flames of anger burning in her eyes; I could’ve made her go over the edge, but I decided not to. “I know deep down you want to go to the dance,” she continued, her voice full of kindness. “And for that, I can help you.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“No.”

“Look,” I said, getting up from the ground. “Even if you sent me to the dance, I wouldn’t enjoy it one bit. What’re you going to do: make a pumpkin carriage with mice as horses to take me there?”

“Exactly.”

I raised an eyebrow. She pointed her wand outside, directing my sight over to a gigantic pumpkin carriage, the wheels enshrouded with leaves. The horseman and the other guys were dressed in elegant white and gold.

I suddenly felt a breeze go through my legs. I looked downward and I noticed that the woman had put me in a flowing white dress. “Did you have to put me in this?” I complained.

“How else can you show your beauty?”

“But I hate dresses!”

“Shut up! Embrace your girly-ness for once!”

“Fine, I’ll go.” I took a step and suddenly fell flat on my face. Grumbling under my breath, I saw my feet were encased in glass slippers: HIGH-HEELED slippers. I could hardly walk in these, but I was able to bear with it once I stepped inside the carriage. The moment I shut the door, God-mom came up to me. “One little thing I forgot: you can’t stay too long. The magic wears off at midnight and—STOP EATING THE CARRIAGE!”

I had a mouthful of pumpkin. “Sorry,” I said before I swallowed the sweetness. The old fairy started to shake: she was REALLY angry now.

I left before she started screaming swear words at my face.

After the stupid 2 hour ride, the carriage stopped at the kingdom. I had entered through the doors and everyone looked over at me (What? Something on my face?). I started going down the stairs, the sounds my shoes made echoing in the hall. It got weirder when I stumbled and fell down the stairs. Everyone started laughing their heads off.

I was about to throw my shoes at them until a guy held a hand toward me, holding back a laugh: it was Prince what’s-his-name. “Would you like to have the first dance with me?”

“Actually, I was thinking about taking a break first—”

“C’mon!” he whined. I sighed and agreed. We nearly spent the entire time looking at each other while I kept begging in my head to sit down: the shoes were killing me.

It wasn’t long before the clock struck 12. The moment I heard the first gong, I nearly screamed for joy as I turned around and left. I was almost outside and running down another staircase until I heard him cry out to me.

“Wait! I haven’t learned your name!”

For all I remembered, the magic the fairy put on me would wear off any second and I was also getting annoyed by the prince. I took off one of my shoes and threw it at his head. BAM! Direct hit!

I saw the slipper evaporate into the air along with my clothes and other shoe, the carriage and horses as well.

The next day, I somehow managed to sue my family and I got a house of my own.

(A/N: I suck at comedies. If you want to see really funny stories, search for Enterprisealien. Please review.)