|Life Is Too Short
Author: ReversedSam PM
Catherine decides to go after what she wants. It's CS femmeslash, run away quickly if that ain't your thing. COMPLETERated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Catherine W. & Sara S. - Chapters: 19 - Words: 30,430 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 01-17-07 - Published: 11-09-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3236884
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimers: They're not mine, but I promise I'll have them back by midnight.
A/N: All mistakes and British spellings are mine.
Life Is Too Short
Life is to short.
I've thought about that sentence a whole lot today.
It's been repeating in my mind since my conversation with Warrick.
He threw me for a loop with the whole marriage thing. I'm not really sure what he thinks about my reaction to the news.
I was shocked at first, upset and a little angry as well. Shocked because of the suddenness of it. Upset because he didn't tell me. Angry because not only did he not tell me he was getting married, but he didn't even mention it until I brought it up, until I asked him about the ring on his finger.
I thought we were good friends, I've considered him one of my best friends for a long while now. Clearly he doesn't feel the same. That's not something you neglect to tell one of your best friends.
I get that he didn't say he was getting married, that's what the whole 'eloping' thing is about. But I thought he would have at least told me the next time he saw me.
I am happy for him. I'm sure he doesn't think so but I genuinely am. He probably thinks I'm jealous, that I wanted him myself and truth be told I did entertain the thought at one time, but it was short lived. He's not the one I want. I'd never have let anything happen between us because I know my heart wouldn't have been in it. It would probably have ended badly and I'd never in a million years want to see him hurting because of me.
So he took a chance, went after what he wanted, decided to follow his heart and see where it leads him. That's what I'm jealous of. That's what I want to do. I'm not quite sure when it was I got so cautious, when I stopped taking chances and actually living my life. When I stopped going after the things I wanted. I think an attitude change is in order.
As he said 'life is too short' so I think it's high time I stopped thinking and started doing. I think it's time I went after what I wanted, and what I want is Sara Sidle.
- - - - - - - -
'Lovers and co-workers, that never works'
Another sentence that's been bouncing around in my head.
I said it like it was a situation I've been in often. Yes I've been in relationships with people that I occasionally see about something work related. But I've never been in a relationship with someone I see daily, someone I work with full-time. So it's not like I can say with certainty if it works or not.
Especially since the relationships that work aren't gossiped about, there's no news there. So you only ever hear about the break-ups; the failed attempts.
I saw Sara's face when I said it. She probably thought I was referring to her and Gil. That one was all over the lab for months. Not that there was ever an actual relationship. Gil would have told me otherwise, we spoke a lot about his feelings for her and how he felt he couldn't act on them. I felt for him, I told him to go for it, but it's not his style, he doesn't take chances. Unless of course they're scheduled and planned beforehand.
So he pushed her away and watched as she got over him and moved on. I'm sad for him, he missed his chance, and convinced himself he was doing the right thing and hurt himself in the process.
I'm glad he did though. I know that sounds terrible and obviously I'm not glad he was hurting but I think seeing them together every day, if anything had of happened, would have slowly killed me.
Thankfully for me I have no such reservations, if I think there's a chance; I fully intend to go after it. I won't do as he did. As Warrick said, life's too short.
I don't even know if she's into women, nor do I have any idea how to go about finding out.
All I need to do is convince Sara that not only should she consider dating a woman, but the woman should be me.
So I'm guessing that now is when the fun really begins.