Chapter Twenty

EPILOGUE

Rose Tyler woke with a start, strange, glowing, incomprehensible images bursting in her head like fireworks. She gasped and sat up straight.

She was in her room in the TARDIS. The comfortable hum of alien machinery was all around her, as were the jackets, skirts, and other paraphernalia that littered the floor and chairs.

Rose breathed out a long sigh and relaxed her back against the headboard. Just a dream, then. Probably a reaction to those strange silver-colored chips the Doctor had convinced her to try back on Alpha Leo.

Or was it? Even in her sleep-muddled state, Rose knew better than to dismiss something strange. She decided it would be best to mention her dream to the Doctor. If he laughed it off, then she would too. If he didn't, who knew? It could mean the start of some new adventure.

"What time is it?" she wondered to herself as she slid out of bed and dug her hairbrush out from the piles of stuff cluttering the top of her dresser: a swirled blue and green glass vase she'd picked up on one of the moons of Venezia Nuova; three metal emote-balls that leapt into the air as soon as she touched them, their agitated dance reflecting her mood; a fluffy plush aadnap doll the Doctor had won for her at the Winter Solstice Carnival on Nettad'Wompa II…and her watch, which read 8:17 a.m., London time. 8 a.m. The Doctor would probably be in the control room, tinkering with the TARDIS, as he often did while she was asleep.

Hair brushed, Rose pulled on her denim skirt, boots, and fleece jacket and headed off to find the Doctor.

The control room lights were dimmed when Rose got there. She paused by the door, waiting for her eyes to adjust, then poked her head in, wondering if the Doctor had fallen asleep on his chair or something. What she saw made her jaw drop in wonder.

The ceiling of the control room had seemingly opened up, revealing a seething, swirling pattern of glowing light and intermittent darkness. The Doctor stood below, his back to the door, as he stared up at the dizzying sight through his spectacles.

"Good morning, Rose," he said without turning around. "You can come in."

His voice was soft, but Rose didn't get the sense that it was out of awe or respect, as it often was when he looked out at the wonders of space. No, the Doctor seemed subdued somehow, even sad. His normally confident shoulders were stooped and he was leaning his palms against the central control console, his fingers stroking the warm metal with perhaps a touch more tenderness than usual.

"Doctor?" Rose prompted as she joined him, her curiosity tinged with a little bit of worry. "What's…um…?" She pointed upward.

"Hm? Oh, that." The Doctor turned a quick, tight lipped smile in her direction. "That's our universe, Rose. Splitting, branching, growing, changing, all as it should. The old girl did it. Entropy has been thwarted once again. And, once again, I'm left alone." He tapped his temple. "In here."

Rose furrowed her brow, not understanding. "Has somethin' happened, Doctor?"

"Yes. Oh, most definitely yes. And also no."

Rose hated that kind of double talk, and the Doctor knew it. He smiled at her again, a real smile this time, warm and affectionate.

"You won't remember," he said, taking her hand and looking it over as if it were a rare jewel. "I wish you could, but you won't now time and space have been reset. But, I met myself, Rose. My previous self. I felt him, up here in my mind. I felt his essence, his core, and it made me realize I'm not that man anymore. I'm just not. And it frightens me, Rose, to know that."

His smile faded, and he looked away. "The man I met was merciful. Kind. His hearts just overflowed with effervescent optimism and curiosity. It made me feel…so empty to see that, so…" He sighed. "So very, very old."

Rose looked at him askance. "You don't look old to me."

"Oh, Rose, can't you understand? It's not about appearance. I was middle aged then! And that was six regenerations ago. Six lifetimes. Rose, I am so old now, so unfathomably old. And I just don't know how much longer I can keep it up. This life. Traveling. Someone once told me, the universe sleeps soundly because the Doctor's there to put the monsters to bed. But how long can that last, Rose? If something breaks inside of me…if I lose the capacity for empathy, mercy…"

"But you won't," Rose assured him, more worried than ever now. "How could you? You're the best man – alien – whatever I've ever known! You are all those things you were sayin' – you're good an' merciful an' kind. Why are you even questionin' yourself?"

"Because I've seen my future, Rose," he said, his voice flat and cold. "I saw everything. It was only a flash, a glimpse before it all faded and the Skasis Paradigm was finally purged from the TARDIS's systems, but I felt it. That emptiness, that pain, that gnawing pain that turns mercy to revenge. Love into hatred. Compassion into coldness. Intelligence into arrogance. It was there, it was me, the Oncoming Storm…and there was no one, Rose, no one to call me out, to pull me back. I was alone, a parody of myself. A monster in my own skin. And that woman...that astronaut...she saw it...she knew..." (1).

Rose frowned, a little frightened herself. The Time Lord's eyes had grown so dark, his pinched mouth and the dim lighting bringing out all the fine lines on his deceptively youthful face. For that moment, he looked like what he was, an ancient, powerful being, teetering on a knife's edge between isolation and hope.

"Well," Rose asserted, her own stubborn optimism stepping in to shake off the disturbing image as if it'd never been, "it doesn't have to be that way. Isn't that what you're always tellin' me? How time's in flux an' that? We all make choices, Doctor. Some are good, some are bad. An' my choice is to stay with you. So, as long as we're a team, you're safe. See?" She pointed down at their reflection in control panel's monitor screen, the two of them side by side, holding hands. "No monsters in the mirror, yeah? Jus' you an' me."

"The Doctor and Rose Tyler," he said quietly.

"The dynamic duo," she quipped. "Riskin' life an' limb to save the universe from moonlight werewolves."

"And Cybermen," the Doctor added, deciding to play along.

"And Daleks."

"And Slitheen."

"And silver-colored chips that taste of tinny lemon," she teased.

"Oh, Rose." The Doctor swallowed hard and pulled her into a fierce embrace. "Don't leave me. Promise me you'll never leave me on my own."

"Never ever," she whispered into his ear. "You're my Doctor. I'll always be here to keep you safe. Even if it's from yourself."

The Doctor held her closer, his narrow chin digging into her shoulder as he breathed her in. "I'm sorry, Rose," he said at last, pulling away with a sigh. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, come off it, old man," she said, her teasing tongue poking out from between her teeth. "You've nothin' to be sorry for."

"I shouldn't have broken down like that. I should never have made you promise—"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Will you stop? I'm fine, you're fine, we're fine, an' the future's a big wavery fluxey ball of unknown, jus' waitin' to be shaped. So, what'd'ya say? Wanna set the TARDIS to pick a place at random? Or are your hearts too old and shriveled up for surprises?"

The Doctor opened his mouth in mock offense. "You what? Are you sayin' I'm old? What's nine hundred plus years to a Time Lord, hm? I've still got some regenerations stowed away."

"Maybe you do," Rose teased, raising her eyebrow in challenge. "But does this new old you still have the moves?"

"Well…" The Doctor pretended to hesitate, scratching at his ear before breaking out with truly impish smile. "This light does make the room look rather like a disco. Wha'd'ya say, Rose Tyler? Would you like a dance?"

"Mmm." Rose smiled, stepping up beside him.

"An' I think I've got jus' the song programmed in. A switch here, a button there," he murmured, "and voila!" He spun around with a grin, the music starting up behind him. It was a song Rose didn't recognize, but it had a good beat and her toes were already starting to tap.

"Now, Rose Tyler, we'll see who's got the moves. Perhaps I failed to mention I was once awarded top prize at Silmar III's annual dance-off? As a walk-on contestant, nonetheless!" He laughed at the memory. "Fantastic planet, Silmar III. Every day's a party!"

"That's as may be," Rose retorted playfully, sauntering up to take his hands. "But I'll bet a box of chips your 'dance-off' couldn't hold a candle to some of the clubs I've been in. Real chips, mind, not those silvery things we had last night."

"Oh-hoo," the Doctor crowed, "Is that a challenge I hear?"

Rose took a step closer, her tongue pressed against her teeth in a teasing smile. "If that's what it sounds like…"

"Now you're askin' for it," the Doctor said. "You are asking for it. You want dancing, Rose Tyler? I'll show you dancing. Come on!"

"Where are we going?" Rose asked eagerly, allowing the Doctor to pull her up to his side as he once again set about manipulating the TARDIS controls.

"Silmar III!" he exclaimed. "I could do with another win."

"Don't you mean we?" Rose teased.

"Nope!" the Doctor grinned. "It'll be you against me against the whole Silmar populace. Whichever of us comes in second buys the chips."

"Right," Rose nodded approvingly. "I'll take 'em with extra salt, thanks. An' made of real, Earth potatoes."

The Doctor laughed. "What's that human saying about counting chickens?" he warned jokingly, reaching far over the console to snatch up his sonic screwdriver. "Have to make one last calibration…"

Just then, a shuddering rumble rolled through the TARDIS, causing Rose to gasp. But the Doctor just grinned his manic grin, the melancholy of moments ago totally forgotten.

"Had to change direction. Here we go!"

He grabbed her hand and spun her around to the music, her laughter a sweet addition to the melody:

"So, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of traveling
And my heart don't wish to roam. No, no.

Yeah, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of traveling
And my heart don't wish to roam. No, no.

Well, you took me in, you stole my heart,
I cannot roam no more.
Because love, it stays within you,
It does not wash up on a shore.
But a fighting man forgets each cut
Each knock, each bruise, each fall,
But a fighting man cannot forget
Why his love don't roam no more.

Oh, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of traveling
And my heart don't wish to roam.

Yeah, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of traveling
And my heart don't wish to roam.

Yeah, walk with me, my love, my love,
Walk tall, walk proud, walk far,
For you know my love, you are, you are,
You are my shining star.

Walk with me, oh my love,
Walk tall, walk proud, walk far.
For you know my love, you are, you are,
You are my shining star, you are, you are.
Yeah!

Reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
My body's tired of traveling
And my heart don't wish to roam." (2)

Beyond the warmth and laughter of the control room, beyond both space and time, the TARDIS hurtled through the Vortex, scanners on the alert for any unusual bumps or peculiar eddies that could spell trouble in the shifting time currents ahead. It wasn't long before she found one – a whirl that registered bright blue on the alert scale.

Blue alert – probable corruptive influence on planet below; observation and, if necessary, containment were indicated.

The TARDIS knew her course and destination had been set, but she was also aware that nothing was truly fixed beyond the fourth dimension. That strange whirl ahead bore looking into. The Doctor's trip to Silmar III would have to wait. A Time Lord had responsibilities, after all, and some dances just weren't meant to be.

THE END

References:

(1) Reference to the Doctor Who special "The Waters of Mars."

(2) Murray Gold, "Love Don't Roam," in Doctor Who: Original Television Soundtrack, 2006.

Well, that's it everyone. Thanks so much for reading and for all your wonderful reviews! It means a lot to me to know you enjoyed my story. Happy Holidays, and long live Doctor Who!