|Striving For Perfection
Author: TriXter21 PM
Would you catch me? She whispers, gulps, silently pleas and prays. Would you catch me before I fall? And it takes her a moment, a second, an instant of sitting there, staring, to answer, her face still firm. Yeah. Yeah, I would. RxT SLASH!Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 34,239 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 06-08-07 - Published: 11-12-06 - id: 3242932
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own it…and what if I said I did? Would you guys seriously sue me? Come on. No one on here would actually sue me. You're all too lazy to sue me.
Summary: Light is a simple concept, really. In its absence…there is darkness. But where light lies…it shines brighter than the darkness ever wished it would. RxT SLASH!
Let the story begin…
It was a Friday when it happened. Sure, she was the type of person to keep up with dates on a calendar and mark every little thing down…but that wasn't how she knew it was a Friday. No…she knew it was a Friday because of the little signs that showed her that it was, in fact, a Friday. And, by the signs, she could tell that it would be like any other Friday…a Friday that taunted her and seemed to pull her apart, piece by piece.
The signs were simple, really. The date of what Friday it was, specifically, and where she wouldn't be going on this date, told her that it was a Friday. The fact that everyone around the school was cheering about their weekends free to do nothing was also another sign that told her it was a Friday. And the meeting she was currently holding at a distance, wishing she wouldn't have to enter through those doors once more, definitely told her that it was a Friday. Yes. It was most definitely a Friday when it happened. It was a Friday where the perfect Ren Stevens would be known for breaking down, for showing a sign of weakness.
It wasn't like she couldn't hold her composure. No. No. That wasn't it. She was her. She always held her composure, no matter what. She didn't have a chance to break and think about anything, let alone stop and let her composure crumble…she didn't need a break, anyways…because she was her. She was the girl that never stopped working, never stopped tiring from the endless journey of perfection. While she never would stop trying to reach it-she knew that she was a perfectionist-didn't she deserve a break? Didn't she deserve to have a little fun?
No. Apparently, she didn't. Not on a Friday. Not on any Friday. Not on any Friday, any weekday, or any weekend. She would always have to work non-stop…it was what was expected of her. And, though she would never stop striving for perfection-it was forced on her, the habit, from her friends to her family…they all expected it of her-she wished that, for once, she could do something reckless. She really, really, for once in her life, wanted to do something…reckless. She wanted to, maybe, even do something stupid, for once. She was tired of being perfect. She was tired of being a straight-A student. She was tired of being 'smart'. She was tired of being her.
She sighed as she watched the endless number of people leaving the high school campus while she, obviously, was left behind. She needed to work on the school newspaper…she was the editor-in-chief for yet another paper in her educational career. She had stayed up all night working on editing other people's articles while she barely finished her own. Sighing, she leaned her head against the window door, closing her eyes.
"Ren, you better get your ass in here, the meeting is about to start." Larry Beale hissed at her, making her jump slightly, her earlier thoughts on halt for a moment. "We don't have the time for you to sit there, staring out the window!" Ren sighed and nodded, putting on a large, fake, smile out of habit. She didn't really feel like insulting him…she really didn't feel like going into the meeting, either. It would just be 2 hours where she would talk and people would barely listen to her. Larry looked annoyed but seemed to notice that Ren needed space, so he went into the meeting without her. But Ren almost burst out laughing at Larry's choice of words, when she thought them over in her head.
'We don't have time…,' There was never any time. If there was anything in the world that Ren knew that she didn't have, it was time. She didn't have time to just…be herself. All she had was time to be perfect. Suddenly, the idea of doing something rash seemed to crawl back into Ren's mind. The idea became more appeasing by the second. Ren sighed once more and took one more longing glance out the window.
She wasn't just tired of being perfect…she was getting sick of it. What would she do with the thought, the irrational thing that seemed to be haunting her? What did she truly want to do? The feeling that came over Ren scared her. It was…overwhelming. She was…scared. Scared of what? Was she scared of going into the meeting? No. She was used to the weekly meetings at the paper by now. Was she scared of not having enough time? What was she scared of? Ren felt a large lump in her throat as tears stung in her eyes. Ren knew what she was scared of…
She was scared of herself.
"Ren?" There was a calm, soothing, and concerned voice that caught Ren's attention. It was familiar, but she knew that she didn't know it extremely well. Softly, the feeling of fear that clenched Ren's heart dissipated slightly. She turned around to see concerned blue eyes gazing into her own. "Ren?" She asked again, wondering if the older girl had heard her. "You ok?" She placed a gentle, comforting hand on Ren's shoulder, finally breaking Ren from her stupor.
"Yeah. Yeah." Ren said, trying to laugh it off. "I'm fine. I'm…I'm fine, Tawny." Ren sighed, looking out the window before looking into the deep blue eyes that held true concern in them. "In fact, I'm perfect." She shook her head and smiled a smile that she hoped would be convincing. Even though Ren had tried, she couldn't help but feel that the younger girl was seeing right through her façade. "Well…I better go…change…yeah, I better go change. I've got a meeting to get to." Ren laughed before she started walking away from Tawny trying her hardest to hold her composure. Ren almost kicked herself, knowing that her excuse made no sense whatsoever. Tawny had to have seen through it.
"Ren…" Tawny whispered, turning around and barely catching the slight shaking of Ren's shoulders. Ren was close to tears. Tawny felt something inside of her clench slightly…she hated it when people cried. "Are you sure? I'm here if you ever need to talk." Ren turned around and nodded back at Tawny, barely able to hide the tears in her eyes. Tawny saw them as clear as day.
"I'm good, Tawny. No. No. I'm better than good! I'm perfect." She turned around and sighed, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm me…I'm always perfect." Ren walked into the bathroom, her closest escape, missing Tawny's soft words behind the walls of the closed doors.
"No one's perfect, Ren." Tawny's eyes stayed glued on the door, a knowing look on her face.
"No one's perfect."
So, yeah…there we go! That's the first chapter. I know it's not much…but I'm having a bit of a timeline issue right now. P
I'll get on a flow soon, though, as long as people review. That's right…if I'm going to keep this story up, people are going to have to review.
You see that sexy review button? Click it. It'll show you a good time.