Disclaimer: The characters you recognise are JKR's, Warner Bros.', Scholastic's, and a few others. Notice my name isn't in there. So it isn't mine

A/N: WELL, THE THIRD AND FINAL CHAPPIE! Hope you all don't hate it too much!

Hogsmeade

The Mind's Wand

-73 minutes, 03 seconds until Dance Lessons

As you can tell, Hermione, my tries to get the Lessons (capitalised for a reason) out of my head are pointless.

I sit in here, in the bookstore reading some book—Sir Reginald's Guide to Occlumency—without actually reading it. Sorry, Reggie, you aren't potent enough to dispel him from my mind.

Bloody Hell!

I mean, what does the git want with me?

Isn't it obvious?

Ok, with Snape, the most obvious thing is never what's really there. And besides, there is no chance for Snape to like me! Not like that, especially!

True.

Thank you

But do you like him?

Ugh! No! Rubbish, of course not!

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.

Oh, stop quoting Hamlet. Dodgy play, in my opinion.

Changing the subject?

No!

Yes.

But, listen, I mean… Of course, I don't like Snape! The very thought of even feeling that way is repulsive!

You didn't find his body repulsive, did you?

You can find someone attractive and not fancy him or her, you know. I mean, there's the fact that he's older…

Come on. It's not as if you haven't said that a thousand times already.

What?

Just never you mind.

And then there's the fact that he is everything I hate about a man. I mean, he doesn't give a lick about me; he's insulting; he hates my friends and vice versa; he's got a troublesome past; and… and…

And, he's intelligent; he's mature; you've known him for a long time; you trust him; he's attractive…

No! He's Snape! That's disgusting!

I snap the book shut and stand up. Reading isn't working and reading always works. I need something else. Something more stimulating. Something…

'Hermione?' A voice greets oddly close behind me.

I turn around to see a tall, lanky bloke with shaggy hair and a peculiar scar on his forehead.

'Harry!' A sight of sore eyes, to be cliché. I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face into his neck, inhaling the familiar, warm scent. Something homey.

I feel him give me a brief hug back. 'Hey, Herm, you ok?'

I nod. 'Brilliant, Harry. How've you been?'

Try smiling so you look believable!

I hope my mouth looked less like a grimace and more like a reassuring smile.

Harry squints his eyes and nods ever so slightly. 'What's wrong.' He doesn’t even pose it as a question, but more as a statement. When I don't answer, he folds his arms and regards me with his patented, you-are-full-of-rubbish look.

Well, there's no fooling him now.

I sigh. 'Fine, Harry. Can we go to a café? I would prefer not to go through this standing up.'

Hogsmeade

The Three Broomsticks

-32 minutes 25 seconds until Dance Lessons

I tell him from the beginning but he keeps interrupting.

'So, Snape has never spoken to you before this?' he wants to know.

'Once, and only for some "friendly" advice. Well, he stepped into Minerva's and I conversation by sitting next to me and challenging my opinion of—'

'How do you think the team is doing?'

'They were doing great which makes no sense when I saw them play so badly. I mean they were missing such obvious shots!'

'Do you think Snape might have swung the game on purpose?'

'Harry, the Gryffindors wouldn't have failed on purpose for payment of even threat. You know that!'

'They didn't fail though, they tied.'

'So?'

'Then they could have had a bit of rebellion at the end, in catching the Snitch.'

'But Harry, would you have thrown the game if Snape threatened you?'

'No.'

'See?'

'Maybe he poisoned them. Or jinxed them. We know for a fact that he has the ability to control brooms from the stands.'

'Their brooms looked fine.'

'Then the Imperious curse! He could have been controlling them the whole time. Did you look at him? Was he keeping eye-contact with the members… you know, a bit too close?'

'No, I didn't look at him and even if I did, how could he be able to control all of the team members at once?'

'True. Ok, continue.'

I nod. 'Well, he said, "If Gryffindor wins, I will award the house fifty points but if now, you have to dance with me at the dance lessons." I suppose I should have read more into it.'

'Also, he didn't state in this agreement that he wouldn't award Slytherin extra points, or take any more away from Gryffindor to compensate.'

Ugh. 'You're right.' I groan and press my forehead against the table. 'There was no way for me to win, no matter how the game turned out!'

'That's why you shouldn't—'

'Bet a Slytherin, I know. But what has me so worried is why does he want to dance with me!'

I lift my head up as a waitress comes to refill our cups. Harry thanks her with a nod before returning to the conversation.

'He has got to be planning something.'

'I know but what?'

'Probably something to humiliate you, or get you sacked.'

My heart rushes with ice. 'Sacked?' I repeat quakingly. 'I had never thought of that. I can't go, definitely. I will have to skip the class.'

'But wait. You might get in trouble for not going.'

'I probably would.'

'That could be part of his plan, scare you into not going and then get you in trouble.'

'But Minerva would understand why I didn't go!'

'If she understood enough, she would have told you, you could get out of it when you went to talk to her.'

'Then what am I going to do???'

'You have to go. Just be on your guard.'

'I don't even know what to be on my guard for! I have no idea what he's going to do.'

Harry takes a sip of his tea before quietly looking up, searching for a solution. 'How about this,' he suggests finally. 'I go with you and stand on the sidelines, wand ready for anything he might try.'

'And we would have two against one!'

'Precisely.'

I nearly reach out and hug him across the table. My heart soars with relief at having an ally in this. Thinking to the future dance lessons, it doesn't look so dangerous and frightening; maybe we will be able to prevent Snape from doing anything.

See? Asks my inner commentary. Aren't you glad that I suggested you tell Harry the truth?

I am too happy to argue with her.

Hogsmeade

Madame Riliroo's Dance Studio

-4 minutes until Dance Lessons

Well, Hermione, here we are, the moment of truth. Snape isn't here yet but Harry is, standing by the doorway, one hand in his trouser pocket. To anyone, he would appear to be simply leaning against the wall but I know that he is clutching his wand out of view.

We have the most fabulous friends.

Hagrid is talking to me about his upcoming class with the new breed of Skrewts, now bred with tarantulas (!!!) but I can barely concentrate on what he is telling me. Because Harry catches my eye and nods toward the door.

In walks Snape.

I was hoping that I could hide behind Hagrid and Snape would think that I didn't show up and he would leave and not bother me!

That was a run-on sentence, Hermione!

Oh, piss off.

Anyway, just as Snape enters, Wilhelmina Grubby-Plank drags her partner, yes, Hagrid, and pulls him away. Snape sees me and grins.

That's when I know that any help from Harry is futile. Snape grinning is usually no good for anyone he is grinning at.

He takes a step toward me.

Hide, Hermione, hiiiiiiiide!

Where to you propose I hide?

Behind the curtain!

I look over at the curtain she is referring to, the one that stretches down to my waist.

Ok, the curtain is a bad idea. Act as though you don't see him and go to the loo.

And hide in there the rest of the night? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one of the two of us!

I am the smart one! If you don't want my help, I won't give it!

I do want your help but I want good advice.

Ok, then. There's nothing else for us to do.

You're a large help!

Well? There really isn't anything we could do that would not be completely obvious. We could just walk past him and out but that would be a Gryffindor bowing out and Gryffindors don't do that, remember?

'Miss Granger.'

My head snaps up to find Severus Snape standing before me, holding out his hand. Around him, I can see Harry moving away from the door and closer to the dance floor.

Snape is looking down at me with amusement, as though I am an acrobatic puppy. I can see the corners of his mouth twitching as he tries to suppress a smile. And one corner is characteristically higher than the other, in a smirk.

Answer him!

What?

He asked you a question!

'Sorry?' I ask, hoping to not appear like a complete madwoman.

'It's of no importance.'

Just then, a flurry of a woman floats in.

Madame Riliroo is this short, round woman who fancies muumuus of the most garish designs and has wild curly copper hair that puts my frizzy mane to shame. Today's muumuu is bright pink with a large turkey stitched in the centre of her breasts. Her outfit billows behind her as she clasps her hands together, fingers banded by many bawdy jewels. 'Welcome, welcome, welcome! Let's all get with our partners because this is our last class! Hurry, hurry, hurry!' Madame Riliroo always had a habit of stating things in threes and with exclamation points.

Shuffling fills the room as people scoot closer to their dance partners. Even Snape and I do, as if under a charm.

As she talks, Madame Riliroo strides about, examining each couple. Once she lands next to Snape and I, she claps jovially. 'Well, good to see some switcheroo! Madame Riliroo's switcheroo!' She chuckles at her own (not) funny joke.

I hear Snape snort and though I feel the same way, I glare at him.

'Today!' Announces Riliroo beaming around the room at the 'happy' couples. 'Today is a free-for-all. I will put on some music and you and your partner will use one of the ones you learned to dance to it, your choice! And then, and then, and then, I will change up the music!' She looks pleased to bits at herself. 'And you will have to change your dancing! Everyone ready? Ok…' she taps a jukebox with her wand. 'Go, go, go!'

A light, quick rhythm fills the room, the tinkling of instruments oddly loud over the shuffling of feet.

I look up at Snape, suddenly all of the dances I have learnt have escaped my mind. Even my IC shrugs.

Without a word, he grabs both of my hands and takes me into one of the earlier steps we gleant, that involves a lot of air between the partners, for which I am thankful. He spins and twirls me with ease and I can only stumble along after him.

After what seems like hours of this, the music morphs into a slower, more sensual beat, full of violins and harps. Snape tugs lightly on my sleeve.

I know what he's doing, but I play stupid. 'What?'

He says nothing and tugs firmer, pulling me closer. I feel him wrap his arm around the small of my back, pressing me against his body. I awkwardly put the hand he isn't holding on his shoulder.

'So, Miss Granger, I see you have Potter staked out to protect you.'

I nod, not even bothering to argue.

Relax your body, Hermione! You are making it too obvious that you are nervous!

I try to ease my muscles but my posture remains stiff and alert. I even shiver, even though I am not cold in the least bit. I don't relax as the music changes from fast to slow to moderate; from jazz to pop to rock to classical.

Finally, Madame Riliroo puts on the last song, an insufferably slow song. Snape once again tugs on my sleeve.

His scent, an oddly clean smell, tickles my nose and I hate it immediately. Not that it is a bad scent, but it is his. I rest my chin on his shoulder so I don't have to look at him. I close my eyes and hope it all ends soon and whatever he is going to do, he does now.

I loathe the feel of his soft shirt under my chin and the contour of his ear which, though non-unique in it's own, still strikes me as ugly. I despise the feeling of his body against mine, how I can feel those blasted muscles under my stomach. Also, I feel someone's heartbeat, probably mine, I realise with a grimace, at the base of my ribcage, in the centre.

I nearly jump when Snape says into my ear, 'I can feel your heartbeat.' The way he says it sounds so… intimate. Like two lovers being one.

My voice wavers all over as my inner-commentary answers for me. 'Oh? I thought that was yours.' A lie, though I could have said that I didn't feel a heartbeat at all.

Sorry.

I wouldn't have done better.

I know why you are scared, she suddenly says.

Because he's going to do something to me and I don't know what to expect?

Because whatever it is, it's a symbol of how much he doesn't like you.

What are you on about?

You thought he was going to kiss you earlier.

Erg, no I didn't.

Yes you did, admit it.

Well, maybe for one split second but that's—

And you wouldn't have minded if he did.

Rubbish! Can't you just drop this?

In fact, you wanted him to. You want him to now!

I do not!

That's why you are shaking like a Chihuahua. You are scared of rejection. You like him, don't you?

No, this is complete bullocks. There's no way I could like him! He cheats, he is rude, he is older…

Yawn. You said this bit before.

Well, it's to prove I don't fancy him.

Hermione.

I don't like that condescending tone you are using.

I am your subconscious, am I not?

You are.

So, I would know, better than you, what is going on in your subconscious, would I not?

You would.

Clearly, deep down, you really like him, you fancy Severus Snape.

Somewhere, someone exasperatedly shouts, 'Fine!'

Bugger, that was me again.

'I didn't say anything, Miss Granger,' says Snape.

I force myself to pull my head back so I can meet his gaze. 'I, er—was…'

One eyebrow shoots up. 'Talking to yourself?'

'Yes,' I murmur and put my chin back.

But why do you like him so much?

You're my subconscious, are you not?

She ignores me.

What attracts you to him?

He has a good mind, he's a good, though not nice, man; I respect him, I suppose; and yesterday, when he was teasing me, though annoying, he wasn't really being mean to me for the first time, like I won a prize.

I sigh.

Bloody fucking hell, I do like him.

How pathetic.

Then, Madame Riliroo's voice announces that, though we are welcome to dance more, the class is officially over.

It's over! I glance over at Harry but he just looks confused. His lips move as he mouths, He hasn't done anything.

I nod and step back. 'Well, I suppose I should go. I am getting hungry.'

With a curt, jerk of his chin, Snape agrees. 'I will walk you back.'

Damn. No way to back out now.

We go over to the coat racks, I pull my cloak off the hook, and Snape does the same. Once we step outside, the winds lashes through me and I pull the halves of my cloak together.

The silence we walk in is awkward so I open my mouth to put a stop to it.

'So, what's the catch, Professor?'

'Catch?' He repeats, eyeing me out of his peripherals.

'I know there is some hidden agenda for you making me dance.'

'Ah.' He nods. 'There was.'

I stop in front of Zonko's. 'And what was it?'

He steps closer, so that we are toe to toe. Eyeing me steadily, he says, 'I planned on taking you to my quarters and seducing you into my bed where I would ravish your body until neither of us could move.'

My heart turns into a solid, cold, ball of lead and drops to my feet.

'Y-you did?'

He smirks and lets out a slight chuckle. 'No, but the look on your face was very enjoyable.'

Arsehole.

'Then, what was the catch, Professor?'

'There was none.' He answers simply, resuming the walk.

'You expect me to believe that the only reason behind you dancing with me is to escape Trelawney?'

He nods but doesn't break his contact with the road ahead. 'Yes.'

'Why didn't you ask someone else?' I pluck a name off the top of my head. 'Cynthia Sprout, perhaps.'

His thin lips curl into a sneer. 'She smells like mud.'

'Ok, Madame Pince then?'

'That woman is far too controlling.'

'You don't like a women in control?' I hear myself ask.

What do you think you are doing???

Well, you like him. So, people flirt with those they fancy.

Nononononono! Only if there is the slight chance of them fancying said people back!

I feel her shrug. Odd thing, feeling your mind shrug. Indescribable.

Snape gives me an odd look. 'I do not mind a women "in control" at all; that's not what I mean. Priscilla… she treats everyone as though we are all toddlers.'

He's one to talk.

'Madame Pomphrey?'

He scratches his head. 'The woman's far too old.'

'I am not asking you to marry her!'

'Fine, she cannot dance.' He raises his voice. 'And, I cannot stand Wilhelmina; Sinistra is just creepy; Madame Hooch never shuts up about Quidditch; Minerva is too nagging and Thelma has the least talent for dancing I have seen and thus should not where spiked heels.'

'Oh.'

We walk in a pregnant silence until we reach Hogwarts' doors.

Its over? Nothing's going to happen?

Then Snape says: 'Maybe I did have a reason besides Sybil.'

I stop and fold my arms. 'Oh?'

Here it comes…

'You were also right in my not playing fair.' He takes a deep breath. 'I asked Minerva to bring up the topic of the teams at breakfast for me.'

'Minerva was in on this??' I don't care how shrill I sound. The traitor!

He nods. 'There's more.'

Fantabulous.

'Potter was in on it too.'

'What???'

No!

'Harry?'

'No,' sneers he. 'James Potter.'

I glare.

'No, I had Potter make certain you didn’t back out.'

Of course! I thought it was odd that Harry wouldn't let me not go. Usually he would have told me to go hex Snape because he was being unfair.

Another traitor!

'But how…' How on earth did he manage to get Harry to agree?

'I contacted Miss Lovegood—sorry: Weasely—a few days ago to help, actually. However, I was not expecting you to show up last night. And when Miss Weasely came by when I asked her to, she had to act like you were the entire reason for her being there. I must say, she covered well with the Minerva-sent-her story.'

Luna was in on this too???

'I didn't think she would be a good person after that because you might have gotten suspicious. She was fine and told Potter my reasoning and he agreed to help.'

Harry, Luna, Minerva… all against me!

'There's more.'

'What, are my parents in on this too?' I snap.

He laughs. 'No, couldn't get in touch with them.'

Wonder if he's joking.

'The Quidditch game was a fluke.'

'Huh?' Smart-sounding, I know.

'There is supposed to be a Slytherin vs. Gryffindor game but it's not for another week. See, Minerva and I worked with the captains of each team to get them to choreograph and entire game.'

Whoa.

This revelation both shocks and scares me. He had so many people in on this.

Wait.

'You've been planning this a while, haven't you?'

He actually blushes. 'A month.'

'For what? Ok, now I know there is some huge reason for this. Otherwise, you wouldn't be going through all the trouble.'

He nods. 'You are right.' Then he tugs on my sleeve again.

He wants to dance?

My inner commentary doesn't respond.

I look back up at him. 'What are—'

And then he does something that nearly makes me faint.

He presses his lips to mine.

His kissing you! Kiss back!

I move my lips rhythmically against his. Suddenly he combs his hand through my hair with one hand, and the other holds tugs me closer. Suddenly, he starts going fast and I nearly bite off his tongue as he catches me unawares.

Breathe, Hermione! Breathe when he does!

He inhales and so do I.

Merlin's holey knickers! You are snogging Severus Snape! I thought you were dead-set against kissing on the first date; this isn't even a date!

I groan but not because of the kissing.

Whoa, he's not bad at this. And—Hermione! Move your ruddy tongue! Don’t just leave it there like a wet rag!

I do so and he suddenly changes his pace, only tickling the tip of my tongue.

Oh, no one's done that before. What the hell are we supposed to do now? Wait, we've read something about this. What is the name of that book? Lovely book… Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging. There it is. Yes, that bloke… Mark, was it? Just play back and then… I don't remember! Shame, since that book was very good. We must get the latest edition in the series.

You are not doing this now! I might not know much about this but I am pretty certain it's not good when your mind wanders during kissing.

Suddenly, Snape pulls away but unfortunately, I am still kissing when he does. To my utter mortification, he laughs at that.

I glare at him, trying desperately to will away my flushing.

He still holds me close and stares into my eyes. My IC offers one word to describe his eyes.

Stormy.

Whoa.

His voice comes out husky—husky! For me!—as he says, 'I have been waiting to do that for a while.'

'Really.' My head is spinning.

Oh, don't do that! This is all too cliché!

He nods and rests his forehead against mine, his nose pressing along the length of mine. 'Yeah.'

Wishing upon everything that my breath does not smell too bad, and it probably does since I had an onion-covered scone at that café, I try not to breathe out too much as I ask, 'Why?' Because I honestly cannot fathom the explanation.

He pulls back and gives me the look he gives all dunderheads. 'Because. I like you. A lot.'

'No, you don’t.'

He rolls his eyes. 'Yes. I. Do. I am sorry if I have at all made you uncomfortable or stepped out of line.' He curses under his breath. 'In fact, I probably did. I am sorry, Hermione—Miss Granger.'

My mind doesn't seem to be working at it's normal pace. 'You fancy me? You went through all that just to get to dance with me?'

He nods sheepishly.

'Why didn't you just ask to be my partner?'

'I didn't want to get turned down.'

'So, you made a bet to force me to?'

He studies his feet. 'Yeah, it was a dodgy thing to do.'

Dodgy? 'Dodgy? Severus Snape, that was brilliant!'

His head snaps up and then I do something that shocks both of us. I kiss him.

I feel myself pull away. 'Severus, had you actually taken me to your quarters to seduce me as you said, you wouldn't have had to work too hard,' my inner commentary tells him. And this time, I don't stop her.

Oh, and the bit where Hermione's IC is jabbering during her kissing Snape (and nearly biting off his tongue) is sadly a paraphrased transcript of one of my kisses. And Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging was in there as well.

Sad, I know.

Well, hopefully you lot liked it and if not (and if you did as well) let me know!

And the updates for the others will happen shortly. Also, I have a new one-shot I am working on that is SSHG. (Yes, another plot bunny was born a few days ago)