Final Author's Notes

This is a very sad time for me. This is something I had spent over two years of my life working on. I started Resurrection in November of 2005 as a pseudo Resident Evil fanfic. There were no grand plans to glorify Tessa, Hunter, or any character in particular. Well, aside from Quistis. XD

But I have a lot to say and really don't know how to put it. This is a very powerful feeling, knowing that this world has finally come to an end. While the first story may have been about zombies and action, I wanted something different for Redemption. I wanted it to be more than just "angst fic number 4380."

And, in time, it became more. It was an exploration of the psyches and intentions of the characters, borrowed and original. Quistis tried to struggle with her inability to save Irvine. Hunter faced the fact that when he was alone, he was just a normal person. And there are countless other examples.

But even with all of the side characters and subplots, Tessa remained at the center of everything. And she was the one suffering the most as the world began to fray. She dealt with it by lashing out at everyone around her. Because that was the only way she knew how to deal with things.

The title of this fic was more than just a pun, unlike its predecessor's. It was supposed to be about religion and people finding faith and the ability to forgive each other and themselves. It became deeper than that, though. To me, at least. It still remained a story about people finding forgiveness, but rather than turning to some higher power, they had to look at themselves.

And, indeed, some people did find redemption. Xu got it by trying to save the old man. Hunter did it when he gave his life up for Quistis even though he hated her for leaving Eisis to die.

But, more often than not, they failed to achieve that lofty goal. The most obvious is Quistis. She left Eisis behind in order to save her own skin, even though she had turned against the GMS in order to save the girl. And she vowed not to repeat the mistake with Tessa. But she did. It wasn't something she had planned, but Quistis had once more killed someone she planned on saving.

Then there's Cloud's inability to get over Aerith's death. He pushed all of feelings regarding her onto Eisis just because they looked alike, and he had deluded himself into thinking that he stood a chance of regaining his lost love through the shy girl. And all the while he hadn't even thought enough of Tifa to ask himself if she were even still alive.

But, again, the most glaring example is Tessa. For awhile, it seemed she would find some sort of happiness with Renea, but it was ultimately impossible. A person can't truly be happy unless they are happy with themselves. And as much as she truly did hate other people, the one Tessa hated most was herself. She hated her weakness. She hated that the "bad guys" held more interest in Fujin than her. And, ultimately, that self-hatred was projected onto Fujin.

And Fujin just all but denied Tessa's existence altogether. She ignored what she knew to be a fundamental truth. When she could have just reached out and dealt with the issue and maybe have achieved some kind of stability in Tessa, and even herself, she kept the other at arm's length, even going so far as to literally run away when she came around.

As for the ending… It definitely isn't the strongest thing I've ever written, but it's still incredibly realistic. Reno's constant need to make a joke is his downfall. Vincent really isn't that strong in close combat, Cloud is arrogant enough to think he can destroy someone with god-like powers by himself, and Scarlet was so wrapped up in her own self-importance that she ignored the mistakes of her past.

Quistis killing Tessa also showed that sometimes a person can't be saved no matter how hard you try. As well as being an example of people not trying as hard as they could. In truth, Tessa probably did deserve to die. She was a murderer. Initially, one believed that it was because she was going insane with (Tifa and) Elena following her around, but in reality it was just another form of denial. When Tessa did wake up and found out what had happened, that people had cared enough about her to save her life, she hid her confusion with anger. And then she killed Nida and, by extension, Ellone.

But I could debate the complexities of Tessa's messed up mind forever. Really, I think all I need to say is thank you. Thank you to the people who patiently waited for months so that I could put out something half-assed and then heap praise upon it that it didn't deserve. Thank you for pointing out my mistakes and making me a better writer. But, ultimately, thank you for being my friends. And knowing that I won't be opening up my mailbox and reading reviews from you guys about this insane trip is probably the saddest part. So, again, thank you.

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