Nice: Sorry for the very long wait but here’s the chapter you’ve been waiting for, Trowa’s! This is going to be great!

Duo: No it won’t.

N: Are you still mad about Treize kicking the crap out of you?

D: Yes!

N: Suck it up! Now here’s the disclaimer!

Nice doesn’t own anything.

On with the fic!

KYS! Ch. 3: Trowa Barton

After the stage crew scraped what was left of Duo off the stage and replaced the stool (Treize used it to break Duo’s arm) they were ready to go on with the show.

Trowa walked onto the stage and sat down onto the stool. He looked bored but there a sparkle in his eyes.

This is going to so good. Seeing you crack will be the highlight of my day!

“Whatever. I would love to see you fail at humiliating me,” said Trowa.

You wish! When I’m done with you you’ll be worse off than Heero and Duo!

Heero was trying to wash the lipstick off his face and twitched when Zechs said that he had copies of Heero’s pink underwear. Duo was in a wheel chair and had a cast on his legs and one on his arm. Quatre was drawing hearts all over the casts and Wufei was laughing at him.

“Then what are you waiting for?” asked Trowa.

Know Your Stars…Know Your Stars…. Trowa’s real name is Stinky Poopybutt!

“Actually that could be my name.”

Huh?

“I don’t know my real name. It could be Trowa Barton, Triton Bloom, No Name, or Stinky. Who knows? I sure as hell don’t.”

Grr…Know Your Stars… Trowa Barton…is afraid of heights. He almost pees on himself when he’s on the high wire.

“That’s true.”

What?

“I was afraid of heights but now I have conquered my fear and love being up there now.”

Know Yours Stars…Trowa Barton…hates clowns…He rather see them burn in the deepest pit of hell.

“That’s true, too.”

No way.

“I used to hate clowns. But after being one for a while, I began to like to. But clowns who wear too much makeup still creep me out.”

Why! Why aren’t you cracking! Why are you not denying anything I’m saying! Why damn you!

Trowa chuckled. “Just admit defeat and let me go. You can win- I’m the Unbreakable Trowa Barton.

I’ll find a way! Just you wait! I’ll win in the end!

“Yawn. Oh my gosh, I’m, like, so scared! Not!”

Know Your Stars…. Trowa Barton wants to turn Lion-san into a fur coat!

“What! No I don’t! I like Lion-san!”

‘Hook, line, and sinker!’ thought the voice. He plans on give it as a gift for Cathy or Quatre!

“I’m not planning on anything! Lion-san is my only friend! I wouldn’t kill him!”

He’s your only friend? What about Quatre? I thought he was your friend?

“Y-you don’t like me Trowa?” asked Quatre.

Know Your Stars…Trowa Barton…is in a relationship with Quatre…

“No, I’m not!” cried Trowa.

“But we do have a relationship! Why are you denying that we are -”

“Quatre, shut up!”

“Does anyone else feel that something bad is going to happen?” asked Duo.

“Yeah. I feel a pressure in my stomach like, no wait, sorry that was gas. But it does seem like something going to happen,” said Treize.

Don’t be mean to the little guy. He can’t help it if he lov-”

“Shut up! It’s not like that!”

“I’m not your friend, Trowa? Why!” cried Quatre. Then Quatre’s eyes flashed yellow and a crazy look formed on his face as he cackled evilly. “Well then, since you are not my friend, I guess it’s okay to kill you now! Hahaha!”

“Oh crap,” said Trowa as he paled.

“He’s relapsing ! Run!” cried Heero. He grabbed Duo by the braid and dragged him away.

“Stop! That hurts!”

“Do you want a ZERO system Quatre to hurt you or me?”

“Good point. Keep running.”

“Friend Trowa! Prepare to die!” said Quatre as he lunged at Trowa.

“No, no! Wait! Stop, Quatre!” cried Trowa as he ran out of the way.

“Why should I! You were being mean to me!” he said as he tackled Trowa and started to throttle him.

And now we, um, knew Trowa Barton! Ew, he’s turning a nasty shade of blue.

“Gak! Help!” choked Trowa. But everyone heeded Heero’s warning and hauled ass to a safer place, under their seats.

Wufei, on the other hand, didn’t run when Quatre went ZERO, but , was still in his seat munching on popcorn. He glanced around to see if anyone was going to help Trowa and saw that no one was. He sighed and got up.

“I guess it’s up to me to keep Winner from killing him I guess.

You just have to be a spoil sport, don’t you?

“Yep. ‘Cause I’m Chang Wufei ,bitch.” Wufei dug into his bag and pulled out a box that said : In Case That Quatre and/or Heero Go ZERO First Aid Kit by Dr. Sally and Nurses Cathy Bloom and Trowa Barton. He opened it a pulled out a tea kettle, a small stove, a bag of tea, and a cup. Then he heated up the tea kettle and waited.

“What are you doing?! Why are you making tea! Your crazy blond friend is killing Trowa! Don’t you care?” asked Hilde.

“Nope. Not one bit. But someone has to save Barton. And I will not be the one to tell Cathy that her ‘brother’ died, oh no, I’m sorry but I do not have a death wish. Have you seen that girl used those knifes? Anyway, it was a part of the plan.”

“How is tea going to help?” asked Noin.

“You’ll see. There’s a reason why I made that ZERO system first aid kit,” said Sally.

“Oh good, the tea is done,” said Wufei. He poured the tea into the cup and slowly walked up to the stage where Quatre was still strangling Trowa and Trowa was still surprisingly breathing or had stopped breathing but was still conscious, Wufei couldn’t tell. “Oh Quatre…I have something for you.”

Quatre stopped throttling Trowa and looked at Wufei with a crazy look on his face. “Do you want to die, too? Okay! I’ll get you Friend Wufei after I get rid of Ex-Friend Trowa.

“Uh, yeah sure, but don’t you want to drink some of this wonderful tea I made for you?”

“Okay! Thanks Friend Wufei! After I drink this, I’ll make sure you’ll die quickly, painfully yes, but quickly!”

“That’s, um, an honor. Just drink the damn tea!”

Quatre grabbed the cup and sipped it elegantly, soon the manic look disappeared and he turned back to normal. In his normal voice he said, “That was wonderful tea Wufei, thank – ACK!” He was promptly hit on the head with a baseball bat and fell to the floor.

“Why did you hit him! He was okay!” cried Une.

“That was the last step,” said Wufei as he helped Trowa up.

“Last step?”

“Yep! The last step in the ZERO system first aid kit says, ‘Once calmed down and back to normal, hit them on the head with a wooden or metal baseball bat.’,” said Sally.

“Easier to handle if relapses again,” said Trowa as he picked up Quatre.

That’s all fine and dandy, but you just knocked out the person I was going to interview next!

“He wouldn’t be knocked out if you didn’t provoke him!” said Trowa.

He wouldn’t have been provoked if you didn’t deny everything!

“I wouldn’t have denied anything if you didn’t assume something was going on between us!”

You’re right. But you made it so easy to do it! Oh well, since Wufei knocked Quatre out, he’ll have to take his place.

“I have to what! INJUSTICE!” roared Wufei.

“Is it over?” asked Heero and Duo as they peeked over a group of seats. They saw Wufei ranting and thought, ‘Nope. It’s just beginning.’

Meanwhile

Relena stormed from the space port. “That man lied! There are not flights to Pluto for and other week! Heero must be back at the studio. But how am I going to get back?” Relena looked around and spotted a mode of transportation. ‘Ah ha! That will do nicely! And I love the color!’ she thought as walked to it and it’s owner. She tapped him on the shoulder and said sweetly, “I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to need to ‘ borrow’ your ride….”

To be cont!

N: So did you like it? What kind of punishment will Wufei get? What kind of ride did Relena steal? Find out next time! R&R!