THE EVERGLOW
. . . by sakurazukamorii ( formerly xaemee & yume-yume )

You’re twelve years old and twelve years wise. But to the contrast of TWENTY-TWO years, what are you really? Compared to his superior knowledge, his superior swordsmanship and his casual black leather pants; you’re nothing. Perhaps after all the battles he fought while you stood by the sidelines angered you. Maybe his constant nagging to tell you to get away, to run and avoid the Heartless finally hit a nerve.

You’re only twelve, barely a teenager. With your childish training, your limited knowledge and clumsy habits, how can you hold up on your own? After catching sight of a heartless you could catch up with it easily, but what would you do after? With that weak arm of yours how could you ever manage to throw your weapons and hit your target? What would you ever do if you were surrounded? What would you do if you were surrounded and he weren’t there? With one swing of his gunblade and a flip of his hair, they’re gone – vanished. But with you, you can try all day, but there’s no way you could ever beat one. There’s no way at all.

He’s so much older, wiser and superior to you. You’re barely a teenager, having lived just a bit over one decade. So really, what’s one decade compared to TWO? And what’s twelve years compared to TWENTY-TWO? You can try all you like with attempts, but you won’t succeed. You can keep aiming forever, but you’re nothing. You’re just a shadow of him.

It’s your twelfth birthday today though. You made Aerith chop off all your silky black hair because longer hair got in your way all the time. Today you decided you didn’t like girly clothes and girly things and made sure you would never wear anything girly ever again.

So with your short hair, your baggy shorts, baggy t-shirt and knee-high socks, you went out. You didn’t need a birthday party because you didn’t have any friends. Besides, the town was basically empty. What was the point if only Aerith, Cid, and Squall showed up? It’d just turn out lame.

Weapon in hand, a determined face and a racing heart, you set out to the darkest corners of Traverse Town. To the back alley inside the sewers is where you're travelling. You know Squall never goes there and you’re curious. Besides, you want to prove you can kick heartless butt just like he can. So what if he’s older and wiser and you could never measure up to him? You still want to try. That’s all that counts, right?

When your boots are soaked and fill with water, you shiver. You take gentle strides feeling the water splash your bare legs. You can barely see anything, let alone hear anything. You’re shaking and sweating but you don’t have the heart to admit it. You’re the best – the best there is; the best ninja ever! You truly believe no one can beat you.

You can hear them lurking, the sounds of their antennas moving swiftly and after you blink you begin seeing their frightening eyes; their yellow glowing eyes. But remember to just keep your mind centered on how great you are. You can beat anyone. Right?

A handful of your ninja stars, a leap and a hop, you land sturdily in the shallow pool of glistening water. Your breathing quickens, your heart races and you only hope you hit them. You’re not so great at aiming and this is in the dark; how well do you think you pulled it off?

When their glowing eyes become visible again, you duck, sensing that they’ll tackle you any moment. They’re Heartless; creatures created by the loss of one's heart. If they get too close your heart’s gone. You’ll be a goner. And when you’re gone, for sure, you’ll never be greater than Squall.

A splash of water directed at your vision hits you and you instantly bring your hands up to your face, rubbing your dark eyes. You’re vulnerable – oh, so vulnerable. So you decide to do what you think is best – you run. Your legs take you off to an unknown area, hoping you don’t pull something stupid like hit a wall or run into one of them.

At the back of your mind, you doubt this victory. Maybe you went a little too far. Or maybe it’s all true; maybe you really are nothing. Perhaps no matter how hard you swing, how perfect your aim is and how hard you try, maybe it’s just hopeless. Again, what’s twelve years compared to TWENTY-TWO, or one decade compared to TWO?

To your dismay, you end up tripping over a rock, smashing right into the rigid earth and the shallow pool of water. You can feel the blood spilling, the bruises forming, and the ringing sounds in your head. You’re a sitting duck and you’re through. You’re done; it’s over. It’s just a matter of moments now until you’re finished.

He’s better than you. He’s better at fighting these creatures, he’s smarter, and he’s so much more independent than you. But right now . . . you’re not jealous at all. Unlike before, you’ve learned to respect him. He only tells you to run away when he knows the situation will get bad and because he doesn't ever want you to get hurt. So what if he’s a mute and so what if he sometimes annoys the heck out of you? Most of the time he’s caring, he’s brave and he’s strong. You're happy he's around and you're happy he's like family to you.

You’re trying to attempt to lift yourself, but it’s no use. Your legs are too heavy and your head is spinning too much for you to concentrate on anything. It’s really over Yuffie. You’ve only lived two years past a decade, you’re barely a teenager and you haven’t completed what you set out to do in your life. You know your list of goals will never be finished now right? And you can’t ever annoy Cid by stealing his tools and hiding them in your closet anymore. Remember when you’d flick Aerith with her hair ties and run up to your room? You won’t be able to do that anymore. All the fun things you once did you can’t do again. All the joy and laughter of being such a young child wasted.

In the darkness of the town’s sewer, your face is implanted in the shallow water and you’re unconscious and bleeding. You’re all alone.

You didn’t see it because you were out cold; a little light began to shine. With a swing and a blink of an eye the Heartless hovering over you vanished, and the sounds of footsteps came closer toward your injured body. “Yuffie!”

··· ··· ··· ···

You’re twelve years old now and twelve years wise. You haven’t noticed any changes, besides the fact you demanded a hair cut and decided you hated all things dubbed “girly” (but you never actually wore girly clothes anyway). Well, and if you somehow avoided the questions about your black eye and the scar on your forehead, there’s nothing different about you. You’re still your old clumsy cheerful self and you couldn’t be happier.

When Aerith told you how unsure and how unconfident he was in himself, you began to think. You never knew he was so uncertain before. He may be stronger and he may be smarter but unlike him you hadn't ever lost hope and confidence in yourself.

It doesn’t matter if you’re only two years older than a decade, a decade younger than Squall, and no match to his superior knowledge and skills. You’ve learned to let it go though it took you multiple bruises and a concussion to get it through you. Plus, after being knocked out it will take weeks for you to get out of bed. Not to mention the intense training you'll recieve when you finally do get out of bed.

As you lay on your bed with him, your family member, sitting on a chair by your side, you smile at him. You don’t care if he’s scowling or if he’s trying to ignore you. “Just don't do anything reckless like that again.” He mutters, sinking back into the chair with a groan.

You smiled. He can be superior with his gunblade-majiger, but you have some things he doesn’t have and you’re one person he can’t ever be – the Great Ninja Yuffie! And you're so proud.

··· ··· ··· ···

--- - - - - - - - - - ----- - - - - - ----- --- - - - -
thanks for reading; hopefully it was worth your time.
. . . for "fields of hope", Courtney's fabulous contest.
--- - - - - - - - - - ----- - - - - - ----- --- - - - -