This right here is the outcome of me getting bored in a lecture and study-related procrastination…

Characters are Kripke’s, the CW’s and a bunch of other people who I have nothing to do with. And they’re all evil for making us wait longer for the next episode.

When there’s nothing better to do, Sam suggests Dean works on his résumé… just in case he ever needs one.

Résumé

Coffee in one hand, the other hovering over the keyboard, Dean cleared his throat to get Sam’s attention. “Okay, how’s this for a personal statement? I am a hardworking individual who can adapt easily to a variety of situations…”

“Especially situations involving weapons and murderous spirits,” Sam grinned.

Dean leaned back from the laptop, settling further into the coffee shop’s cushioned chair. “This is your fault. You’re the one who said we needed write up résumés. I’m going for…” Dean made a thoughtful face, “well-rounded.”

“Honestly, it’s the hardworking part I have the bigger problem with.”

“Are you calling me lazy?”

“No. I’m trying to picture you standing behind a McDonald’s counter in a uniform saying ‘Next customer please’.”

That had Dean pulling the laptop’s screen down. “No. No way dude. I am not getting a job ever. I don’t care how desperate we may get for cash.”

“There are other jobs out there you know.” Sam blew steam off his coffee before taking a sip. “It’s not all dead-end jobs in fast food joints, learning catchy slogans and figuring out how to use all those keys on the cash register…”

“Oh come on. I’m twenty-seven and I have barely any experience of normal jobs. A manager’s gonna take one look at my résumé and think one of two things.” Dean used his fingers to count off the likely scenarios. “One: They’ll think I’m a layabout and figure the kid with oozing zits will do a better job.” Sam winced at that unpleasant image. “Or, two,” Dean went on, “the more likely choice, they’ll think I’m an ex-con. So, what exactly am I capable of other than the Fast Food Graveyard Shift?”

“The museum nightshift job with all the loose change you’ll need for the coffee and vending machines?”

“That’s not funny.”

Sam thought otherwise. “You could tell them you could provide your own flashlight. I bet they’d hire you on the spot.”

“I get that you’re bored but do you really have to take it out on me?”

“Yes.” Sam replied with a wicked grin. “Definitely.”

“Hey, don’t abuse me just because I don’t have any fancy college education.”

“Why not? You’re always teasing me.” Sam raised a hand to silence Dean’s protest. “Don’t give it if you can’t take it.” Oh yeah, he was feeling pretty damn smug right about now.

Dean opened the laptop once again and his fingers were soon working over the keyboard. “I have almost unlimited patience, thanks to my brother who is mentally troubled and requires constant help.”

“Hey!”

”Give, take, and all that jazz,” Dean smirked.

“Fine. You might want to add something about your devastating wit because there’s a chance it’ll result in all female employees wanting to kick your ass.”

“Ooh, hitting me where it hurts Sammy.”

So Sam reached over and slapped Dean upside the head.

“What was that for?!”

Sam just shrugged, trying unsuccessfully to hide his massive grin behind his coffee cup. “Felt like it.”

Dean, after a moment’s glaring, returned his attention to the laptop yet again. “As my brother can be prone to uncontrollable violent outbursts, I am well-suited to hands-on jobs in unpredictable situations.”

“No one writes stuff like that.”

“I do,” Dean replied, concentrating as he considered what to put next. “My experiences mean I am good at handling large, troublesome insane people or large animals.”

Sam cracked up. “You’re not taking this seriously!”

“Of course I’m not! My prospects are a choice between McDonalds or the pizza delivery guy who as the coolest car. Why the hell would I want to take that seriously?”

“Dean, you’re not gonna spend your life in the fast food business.”

“I know that. I’m gonna do what I’ve always done – hunt.” Dean paused for more coffee before he went on typing. “I am also used to unusual and challenging circumstances so working in a zoo, or, alternatively, an asylum, would be perfect for my unique skills. I may also make an awesome wrangler and I wouldn’t say no to bar work.”

“Why don’t you just put Lion Tamer?”

“I’m trying to be realistic.”

Sam snorted. “Oh, and wrangler is realistic?”

“Could be if we were in Texas.”

“This was a bad idea,” Sam muttered.

Dean downed the rest of his drink before he went back to typing. “I am used to handling weapons and would make an excellent policeman.”

“You? In the police? Yeah right.”

“Hey, one day it might pay to have someone on the inside.”

“Dean, that may be true, but it’ll never be you.”

“Yeah,” Dean hit backspace until the sentence was gone. “The uniform isn’t my style.”

“Mm, you’d have to tuck your shirt in.”

”Ugh.”

“You might even develop a gut.” Sam held his hand over his imaginary large belly. “Not a good look – buttons popping out all over.”

“As someone who is in peak physical condition…”

“So long as no one looks at your diet…”

“…working as a personal instructor in an all women’s gym,” Dean’s grin was lecherous, “would be perfect for both myself and for those seeking to improve their own fitness.”

Sam sighed and pushed his chair back. “More coffee?”

“Sure. Oh, and one of those muffins too. Chocolate. None of that blueberry crap. If I want fruit, I’ll eat Skittles.”

“And you call me picky,” Sam replied, picking up their empty mugs.

“And as a drinker of regular coffee, I won’t waste precious work hours hunting down the nearest coffee shop for an overpriced, over-flavored drink.” Dean grinned. “Think that’ll do it.”

“Did you title it Dean’s Imaginary Résumé?”

“No, I put your details on the top and I’ve already sent it to several local employment agencies.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t.”

Dean gave his Big Brother Always Wins grin.

The End

Thank you for reading!