Survivor: Wind Waker Islands

A/N: Hey guys. This is going to be a toughie either way. I’ve driven myself in a hole. :) The only two people I have been told are liked are the two tied for the outcast vote. I hope you guys don’t kill me for the outcome. Enjoy the fifth episode! And I’m sorry it’s late!

PLEASE tell me your favorite characters if you review! I need to know your favorites!

Also, I’m sorry to say, intelligent-humor lovers are out of luck this chapter. Just like last chapter. More stupid. Hope you enjoy! But first... the first LostInHyrule Theatrical Trailer!

Diaries of Majora’s Mask

Rated K+

Comedy

Ever wonder what was going through the minds of those residents of Clock Town and Termina during the 3 days of Majora’s Mask? They’ll tell you! Take a glimpse into the diaries of Gormon, Romani, The Postman, Koume & Kotake, Sakon, Lulu, Cremia, and more to come! Now winner of Zelda: Readers’ Choice Awards Best Comedy!

Thank you for sitting through my first Theatrical Trailer. Check out Diaries of Majora’s Mask! And enjoy this chapter of Survivor: Wind Waker Islands!!!

Chapter 5: Breaking the Canon (Not “Cannon”)

Link: “And the fourth vote is... Ash?”

Ash: “It’s a tie!?”

Link: “Yes Ash, it’s a tie. Do you know what that means?”

Ash: “Neither of us has to go home?” -Looks hopeful-

Link: “No. It means that you and Medli will have... A FIRE-MAKING CONTEST!!!”

Brock: “What’s with the outburst? That’s not canon.”

Link: “Shut up.”

Brock: “Neither was that!”

Link: “Oh, and Brock gets 4 votes, he’s out!”

Brock: “You can’t trick us. You already read the votes! And besides, I wouldn’t vote for myself!”

Link: “Oh yeah...” -Looks embarrassed- “Well anyway, I’ll give Ash and Medli 5 flints each, and a pile of twigs. You have to have the fire burn the Deku Stick hanging across 1 foot over the fire.”

Ash: “But I’ve never made a fire before... Brock always makes our fires...”

Medli: “And I always had Valoo make my campfires...”

Link: “Then I guess both of you are completely un-prepared! Go over to your stations!

Medli: “Fine...”

Link: “And they’re at their stations!”

Ash: “This isn’t a challenge! You don’t need to announce like that!”

Link: “Whatever! Just start fire-making now!!!”

Ash: “Okay then! But no announcing!”

Link: “And they’ve started!”

Ash: “Hey!”

Link: “Ah, Ash. If I didn’t announce then how would the poor readers know what’s happening?”

Ash: “That doesn’t make it any less annoying!”

Link: “Hmm... I don’t care! Would you look at that! While Ash has been jabbering away, Medli has started on her fire. Luckily for Ash, she sucks!”

Medli: “So much for Host-Neutrality! And canon, for that matter...”

Link: “It was a question of Host-Credibility over Host-Neutrality.”

Medli: “Typical.”

Link: “Medli and Ash are about tied! They both have a little half-flame! Pitiful! But Ashes is starting to flare up! It’s getting higher! And higher! And Medli’s is getting... more and more pitiful!”

Medli: “Shut up!”

Link: “You’re nice in the games. And you complain I’m not canon...”

-Scoffs- “Whatever. And their flames might be getting a tad bit higher!”

3 hours later...

Link: “And it looks like Ash might have about a bit of a flame going there... no. It’s gone.”

Another 5 hours later...

Link: “It looks like Medli’s flame might get there...”

Medli: -Sneezes-

Link: “Oh no! Her flames gone again!”

Another hour later...

Ash: “C’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon... yes!”

Link: “And it looks like Ashes flame as touched the Deku Stick!”

At sunrise...

Link: “Ashes flame has finally burnt the Deku Stick! Ash wins! Medli, pack your bags!”

Medli: “Shut up! I don’t even have bags! You and the stupid author wouldn’t let us bring anything!”

Ash: “And you wasted your 1 item on a harp...”

Medli: “What’d you say, punk?”

Ash: “Nothing...”

Medli: “That’s what I thought you said!”

Link: “Quit with the outburst, Medli!”

Medli: “You stink! I can’t believe I had a crush on you while we were making Wind Waker!” -Stomps away-

Link: “Uh... Medli?”

Medli: “WHAT!?”

Link: “You forgot to get your torch snuffed out.”

Medli: -Takes torch- -Snaps it on her knee- -Walks out of Tribal-

Link: “Okay then... Rest of the WWP Tribe! You’re free to go!” -Turns around- “Hey... wait a second! Where’d you all go?”

At the WWP Tribe camp...

Brock: -Comes out of woods and yawns.- “I can’t believe they expected us to stay there for all of that!”

Makar: “We actually got a decent night’s sleep!”

Brock: “It was a great idea leaving when Link said “Go”.”

Makar: “Wonder who got out...”

Ash: -Arrives back at camp- “What’s up guys?” -Yawns-

Brock: “So I assume you won then, cap’n?”

Ash: “And Medli had a funny outburst! I think Link was crying when we went away, because Medli broke the stick instead of letting him snuff it out.”

Brock: “Awesome!”

Ash: “I know!”

Brock: “Radical!”

Ash: “I know!”

Brock: “Far out!”

Ash: “Shut up!”

Brock: “Cool! ... Hey wait a second!”

Later on, at the reward challenge...

Link: “You guys all want the reward?”

All: “Of course!”

Link: “Than you gotta win the challenge!”

All: “Duh!”

Link: -Blushes- “Any guesses on what the reward will be?”

Brock: “We don’t care! Just tell us!”

Link: “Well first, as you know, you get to send someone to the Exile Island...”

Ash: “Just freakin’ tell us the reward!”

Link: “I was building up to that!”

Ash: “We don’t care about the build-up! Just tell us!”

Link: “Than I will! Anyways, the reward is... to get to go to Windfall Island with 100 Rupees and have a shopping spree!”

Zelda: -Hearts flutter over head- “Really?”

Link: “Yes!”

Zelda: “We gotta win this challenge!”

Link: “If you want the reward!”

Zelda: “And why wouldn’t we?”

Link: “I don’t know! So let’s get on with it! The way you win the challenge is... staying on the log-walk the longest!”

Brock: “Log walk?”

Link: “It’s gonna be some huge spinning log in the middle of water, and you have to run and stay on it! It should be fun... and painful for those of you born with inner-ear problems!”

Makar: “I don’t have an inner ear! What does that have to do with anything?”

Link: “Um... that’s what makes you balance.”

Makar: “Oh... having no ears, I guess that’s why I’ve always had poor balance...”

Link: “Get on your logs!”

Brock: “You have to tell us where they are, first.”

Link: -Points to lake in center of challenge island- “There! Now go get on your logs!”

Ash: “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Link: “Grumble grumble...”

Zelda: “We’re ready!”

Link: “Go!”

Zelda: “What? Whaa!!!” -Falls off of log- “You surprised me!”

Link: “Too bad!”

Zelda: “Ah! See if I help you defeat Ganondorf again!”

Link: “Sheesh. I didn’t need it. The only reason you helped me in Wind Waker was because the producers that would make a fun last battle.”

Brock: “I must admit, that battle was quite fun.”

Zelda: “Wasn’t it, though?”

Link: “Yeah, well it would have been better if I had been allowed to shoot my own light arrows.”

Makar: You know I’ve fallen off already, right?”

Link: “Oops! I wasn’t paying attention! Everyone except for Brock and Luigi have fallen off of their logs. Oh my god! They’re both running themselves, on logs, out to the middle of the lake! Oh my god! The suspense! The possibility of injuries! The potential ratings this will get us! Oops. Did I say that last one out loud?”

Zelda: “Yeah, you did. And we have no chance of winning the shopping spree now...”

Link: “Too bad!”

Zelda: “Why I oughta...”

Link: “ ‘Oughta’ isn’t a real word.”

Zelda: “While, I oughta imprint it in your brain! WITH THE SIDE OF MY FOOT!”

Link: “Good thing I’m up in this announcer’s tower.”

Zelda: “You’ll have to come down eventually...” –Starts to knaw at the bottom of the Announcer’s Tower-

Link: “Oh my goodness! Brock has fallen off his log, hit his head, been knocked on conscious, been rescued, been taken to an island medical facility, and taken back here in the time I was crying for my Mommy because a mad-woman is attacking my announcer’s tower! Wow! So Luigi is the winner!”

Mario: “Whoo-hoo! Yippie! Shopping spree, here we come!”

Link: “King of Red Lions awaits your Tribe’s leisure to ferry you to Windfall Island.”

Bowser: “Wait! Me have played Wind Waker! We can’t all fit on King of Red Lions! And King of Red Lions move 2 miles per hour!”

Link: “Tough noodles!”

Brock: “That was a rip-off from Drake & Josh!”

Link: “Your point? It’s still a funny line.”

Brock: “That it is.”

Link: “Well, here’s your 300 Rupees.” -Empties wallet- -Looks sad- “100 for each of you.”

Luigi: “Righteous!”

Link: “Since when do you use hippy lines?”

Luigi: “Since whenever I feel like it!”

Link: “Works for me!”

Later, at the Mario Tribe Camp...

Mario: “That was the best reward yet! We got Ice Cream, we got to look out at the ocean, and we got to play fun games! Windfall Island rocks! If Canon didn’t prohibit it, I’d move to Windfall Island!”

Bowser: “Me have stomach ache from too much pie...”

Mario: “I told you 49 was too many, but you didn’t listen...”

Bowser: -Growls-

Mario: -Backs away-

Luigi: “Well, I saved 40 of my Rupees for later. Muah-ha-ha!”

Big guy in a black suit who talks in a husky voice: “That’s cheating. That’s money that’s only to be used on Windfall Island during the game.”

Luigi: “But...”

Big guy in black suit: -Snatches Luigi’s 40 Rupees-

Luigi: -Looks sad-

Later on, at the Immunity Challenge...

Link: “Welcome to the Immunity Challenge!”

Ash: -Sighs- “That line gets old fast. Just tell us what to do.”

Link: “No-can-do, Ash! I gotta go by the manual!” –Holds up “Being a host on Survivor” manual- “You guys wanna win this challenge?”

Zelda: “Do I have to say ‘Of course I do!’ again, or can we just get on with this?”

Ash: “I see someone agrees with me.”

Link: “I’ll take that as a yes!”

Ash: “If you must.”

Link: “I must! Well, as you know-“

Zelda: “Yes! As you said! We know! Just tell us something we don’t know! Like what the challenge actually is!!!”

Link: -Looks at manual- -Sighs- -Throws manual-

All the castaways: “Hooray!” –Clap-

Link: -Sighs- “Your challenge is simple. You’ve gotta run a mile in 10 minutes with every tribe member or YOU LOSE!”

Ash: “Are you kidding? That’s so easy! I could run a 6 minute mile easy!”

Link: “Good for you. GO!”

Everyone except Ash: -Takes off-

Ash: “But I wasn’t ready!”

Link: “Tough noodles!”

Ash: “I’m not gonna correct you on that one.” –Takes off- -Easily catches up with everyone else- -Starts to look tired- -Starts to pant-

Link: “And it looks as if Ash is getting tired!”

Ash: -Keels over-

Link: “Oh! Tough break for the Wind-Waking Pokemon Tribe! But they still have a chance to win, if a member from every other tribe collapses! Let’s see, they’re running... still running... Boy this is a boring challenge... still running...

Zelda: “You can stop saying that.”

Link: “I know.”

Zelda: “Than stop saying that!”

9 minutes later...

Link: “They’ve only got a minute left. Malon and Luigi have all failed, so now it’s whoever has the most members finishing in less than 10 minutes wins! It looks like Brock is finished. And would you look at that, so is Zelda. Bowser looks to be pretty far behind, but Mario is almost there! It looks like Mario is finished! We’ve got 10 seconds left for Bowser to finish or the Wind Waking Pokemon Tribe wins and the Mario Tribe goes to Tribal Council!

5...4...3...2... he’s almost there... 1... He... DOESN’T MAKE IT IN TIME!!!”

Bowser: “Puny Hylian-who-thinks-he’s-a-Kokiri wanna tussle with the Bowser?”

Link: “That’s not necessary. I’ll see you all-Mario Tribe, that is-at Tribal Council! Muah-ha-ha!”

Brock: “Muah-ha-ha?”

Link: “Well, this chapter’s name is “Breaking Canon”, and we haven’t done that in a while, so I thought I might as well. Can’t hurt anything.”

Brock: “Except my ears.”

Link: “That’s an acceptable sacrifice.”

Later, at the Mario Tribe Camp...

Mario, to Luigi, in private: “We’re voting out Bowser, right?”

Luigi: “Of course! Brothers to the end?”

Mario: “Possibly.”

Luigi: “That’s good enough! Hug me, brother!” –Tries to hug Mario-

Mario: -Pimp-slaps Luigi- “1st: Don’t ever do that again. 2nd: stop quoting Drake & Josh. Once is enough for this chapter of the story.”

Luigi: -Rubs face- “Fine...”

Mario: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go use the little boys’ tree.” -Scuttles off to where Bowser is, alone-

Mario, to Bowser, alone: “Hey; we’re dropping the dead weight tonight?”

Bowser: “What did you just call me?” –Sucks in air for fire blast-

Mario: “ACK! Don’t torch me! I was talking about Luigi.”

Bowser: “Oh. I thought it was another fat-joke on me, like you did in Super Mario Bros when you had to jump me in the game... good thing all those insults weren’t shown in the video game...”

Mario: “I wanted them to show them... but that’s beside the point; we’re getting rid of Luigi?”

Bowser: “Of course!”

Later, at Tribal Council...

Link: “You all satisfied with today’s challenge?”

Mario: -Deadpanned- “No.”

Link: “Why, Mario?”

Mario: -Still deadpanned- “Because we lost.”

Link: “Is losing so bad?”

Mario: -Do I have to tell you he’s still deadpanned? I thought you would have guessed- “Yes.”

Link: “Elaborate.”

Mario: “Losing means we have to lose a member of our tribe! Of course that’s bad!”

Link: “Do you feel like you’re in any personnel danger?”

Mario: “No... not really...”

Link: “Well, episode, we’re going to randomly split everybody into two teams! So if you’re not gone now, then you’re getting a whole new tribe!”

Mario: -Sarcastic tone-“That’s great news!”

Link: -Sighs- “Do we have to ask all of you questions like regularly? Or do you just wanna skip to the voting?”

Mario: “Skip to the voting.”

Bowser: “But I’ve never got a question asked before...”

Luigi: “And questions always make me feel good inside...”

Mario: “Cough-Wimp-Cough!!!”

Luigi: -Sighs- “Fine. Skip to the voting.”

Link: “Excellent! You may vote first, Luigi. Very good, now you, Bowser. And finally you, Mario. Perfect! I’ll go tally the votes. Please note that, just like in every other episode, the order in which I read the votes means nothing; it’s randomized. It’s not the order in which they went up.”

Mario: “We know! Just read ‘em out!”

Link: “Fine then, I will! First vote... Bowser. Second vote... Luigi. And the fifth person voted out of Survivor, Wind Waker Islands is...

A/N: Hey guys! How’d you like the chapter? Sorry it took me so long to get it to all of you. You’ve been so patient! Or at least, I hope you have, and don’t feel the need to flame me for being late... anyway, I NEED TO KNOW YOUR FAVORITES!!! And I also wanna hear your guesses on who’s leaving now! It’s up in the air!