A/N: First let me apologize for the big mistake I made in the previous chapter. It had to be Alex's sister and I had it say Alex's sister-in-law. I always get that mixed up. My apologies and thanks to the people who pointed it out. And thank you also that that mistake didn't turn you all off from the fic. This fic was such a struggle. Really hard and it took a very long time. At first I didn't know where to go and what to write. And the next problem seemed to be how to end it, because clearly another chapter seemed to be pointless. And so this is the result. I hope you'll like it and that the end isn't toooo abrupt, although it's slightly abrupt. But I felt like there was nothing else left to say. Still I hope you like the conversation and the issues they talk about. I also hope you think it's in character. Now with this one finished I can go back to family getaway. Thanks to all who read this and reviewed this.

Chapter six

He’d kept silent on the way back to Alex’s apartment. He’d heard Alex’s conversation with her sister-in-law. He hated that he was causing her pain. He would do anything in his power to prevent her any pain. But that overheard conversation also made everything clearer to him. He needed to let Alex know that he trusted her. That this wasn’t about her, it was about him and his own insecurities. And even if she doubted him and their partnership, he was going to make her see that they belonged together. Glancing at her he saw how tense she was. Her knuckles white from the tight grip she had on the steering wheel.

Entering her apartment, he watched her move around. She was holding everything back and he wished she would talk to him. He followed her in the kitchen, stopping a few feet behind her. Her shoulders were slumped, her head hung and her hands were slightly shaking.

“Alex.” He softly said.

But there was no reaction from her and he tried again. “Alex…, turn around.” When she still didn’t turn around he even pleaded with her. “Please.” He closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders. With gentle pressure he turned her around. She refused to look at him. “Come here.”

When his arms embraced her she let herself enjoy it for a few seconds. But only for a few seconds. She couldn’t hold it back any longer. He kept her feelings in a limbo. One moment being sweet and gentle, the other distant and insecure.

“No, Bobby.” She said, putting her hands on his chest and pushing him away. “Stop doing this! Stop pushing me away and then pulling be back. I can’t keep doing that. You know what?” She put more distance between them.

“I cannot do this alone, Bobby. We’ve been partners for over six years now. I thought by now you knew you could trust me. I’ve been reaching out, Bobby, but you refuse to take my hand. I want to help you. I… I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing you in pain and all I want to do is help you through this. Let you know that you don’t have to be alone. But you won’t accept my help, you won’t… accept me! If you want to deal with this alone, just like you’ve always done. Then fine.., do it. This is the last time I’m reaching out. I won’t do it again.” Maybe it was childish, but she stomped out of the kitchen into the living room. Leaving Bobby alone to contemplate her words.

Hesitantly he followed her into her living room. Her anger didn’t really surprise him. She’d been keeping it in too long. He found her curled up on the couch. Her hair hung before her face, making it impossible for him to read her. He had to fix this.

He paced her room. “I trust you, Alex.” Seeing her incredulous look he continued. “I do, Alex. I don’t want you to doubt that.” He rubbed his neck. “I… I know I’ve giving you a lot of reasons to doubt me lately. But all this… mess.., it’s my fault. It’s all my doing.”

Alex kept quiet. She wasn’t going to disagree with him. It was up to him now. She needed to recollect herself. Otherwise she was going to say things she was going to regret. And they didn’t need any more damage to their relationship.

It was time for the whole truth. “I.. guess. No, I know this started with... Jo and Declan. It felt like… it was as if they ripped out my heart. I didn’t know I could hurt that much. You.., you’re the most important part of my life. I don’t ever want loose you. I don’t want people hurting you. I… I feel the need to protect you.”

“You don’t have to protect me. I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” He said quickly, not wanting to offend her. “It’s just that…” He sat down in front of her on the coffee table. His knees almost touched hers. He couldn’t find the right words. “When it comes to the people closest to me, I have this need to protect them. I need to… hold.. you close.” He looked down at the ground.

“Then why push me away?”

Bobby got up again. Standing on the other side of the coffee table he looked down at her. “Because… I failed you.” He intentionally let the silence fall. His failure had made such an impact on him. It made him doubt himself.

“You didn’t fail me. Look at me.” Alex’s voice left no room for debate. When she had his attention she continued. “I’m alive, Bobby. I’m alive because you came for me.”

“No!” He was adamant. “You saved yourself. I didn’t do anything. I failed to protect you. And then I failed to rescue you.” The pain of that failure was still there, simmering just beneath the surface.

“And to avoid any more pain you thought that pushing me away was the best solution?”

“Yes.” He decided to tell her more. “It’s always been like that. First people get close, but they always leave. To prevent that pain, it was easier to keep the distance. But you… you… ignored that. And.. I let you. You are my weakness. Because my feelings for you are… more than friendly. I care a lot. More than I should. But I didn’t mind. For the first time since years, it felt good to care about someone again. I could deal with that. And I thought I… wasn’t obvious. I cherished that feeling, even if you could never care for me the way I do for you.” His eyes were no longer on her. He’d even turned his back to her. The confession of his love for her was easier without seeing the expected rejection or pity in her eyes.

“Alex, I… I want you. I know that. But it seems as if… for every bit of me that wants you… something makes me back away.” He looked at the floor and shuffled his feet. “It’s a reflex I can’t seem to shake. Ever since Jo, who had no problem reading me, I thought about everything.”

“And you thought in stead of talking to me about everything. It would be easier to push me away and make sure I couldn’t get close again.” She got up to stand behind him and gently placed her hand on his back, just below his shoulder.

He nodded. Her hand on his back felt… right, but he quickly tried to shake that feeling. He felt her hand slide from his back to his waist and a second later she appeared in front of him. “Did it ever cross your mind that I might want you too?”

Honestly, no, but he just kept silent.

“You know what kept me going when Jo had me? The fact that I knew you would come for me. I don’t doubt you, Bobby. I still trust you, still have faith in you. You did not fail me.” She gathered her thoughts for a moment. “But your refusal to talk, the way you kept pushing me away, you hurt me. And I think you knew exactly what you were doing.” That’s what it came down to. Bobby had done this knowing all to well what it would do to her.

He couldn’t deny it. She was right. The urge to hold her again was to hard to ignore. Roughly he pulled her into his arms and enveloped her with his body. With her in his arms, he could over come the set backs of the last months. “I’m so sorry, Alex.” He whispered into her neck, his voice rough. “I’m going to try to make this work. I… I’ll let you in, but you’re probably going to have to help me out some time.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” She sealed the deal by standing on her toes and kissing him lightly on the lips. “You’ll be my work in progress.”

The End