Title: Making Maps

Rated NC 17

A/N: I tried writing some dark, angsty stuff. I hope I did all right. A gift for satalex, who drew the lovely picture called 'Passions'. It jumps from now to flashbacks, in case you were wondering why it seemed sporadic somewhat.

Summary: Jack Sparrow is trying to draw his map, but he keeps getting interupted by certain thoughts.

community. MAPS

Captain Jack Sparrow sighed as he pulled down a map that he started nearly five years ago, a map of his beautiful Black Pearl. It was taking a while to draw a simple map, because the Black Pearl was home to him, and he wanted to do a good job on it. Give it a personal touch.

He wondered, why, now, he decided to work on it since it was nearly two years since the blasted thing ever saw sunlight. When he first started to work on it, it was just for fun. Then it became a challenge, he wanted to put as much detail in it. It survived the plunge in the ocean, and a fire, many battles that happened in and out of the Captain's cabin.

He remembered when Beckett's ship, The Leader, blasted a hole through his cabin and knocked down the shelf that Jack kept all of his maps on. The damn thing lived through that, and that night, he added on the lower deck and part of the hull.

He remembered slamming the door one day, only to have her open it and start yelling at him. Asking him why he was running away. Asking him why he doesn't just confront her like the man she thought he to be, instead of hiding behind all his rum and maps. She then proceeded to knock down the shelf, and break a couple of bottles of rum. Jack cursed. And screamed. And physically pushed her out of the room - he had never been physically violent with a woman before, that was his first time. And it felt good- no, it felt great. To remember that he had the power to hush people up- by pushing them away. Jack remembered bending down and picking up the rum soaked parchment, and was about to crumble it up and throw it out. But he stopped himself. He spread it out on the table, and let it dry. That night, he added the helm and the door to his cabin.

He picked up his charcoal pencil and began sketching. He sketched part of a railing on the port side, and moved to work on some boards.

"Jack, please, stop this..."

Jack was nuzzling her neck, not caring at all who would walk onto the deck that late night and saw them. She was the one who approached him, she was the one that embraced him and gave him one of her sweet kisses - the kind a man just can't forget.

His lips left her body, and he looked straight into her face.

"I don't ask. I don't beg. But, Elizabeth, please..." He cupped her cheek and brushed away some tears that had collected. "Yer going to be gone for the rest of me life. Yer going to go and marry William, I'm sure. You'll spend every night for the rest of yer life with him... please, just give me one night."

He wasn't sure if it was the 'please', or the desperate look on his face, or if she really wanted Jack to have her, but she leaned in and met his lips in a fierce kiss.

Jack had started to draw some circles, adding a more defined shape to them and moving to draw some curves.

He remembered that night- it burned it's memory into his soul, burned his heart until there was nothing left but ash and dust. She was so lovely in the moonlight, laying out on her deck, begging for him to take her. To make her his, if only for one night. Or was that him? He wasn't sure, their words were not important. What was important was that she was with him, and he was loving her, the way she deserved to be loved.

"Jack..."

Jack kissed her, forcing his tounge into her mouth. He groaned and ripped her shirt off her shoulder when she encircled it with her own and sucked. He kissed her cheek, down her neck to the sensitive, creamy skin of her shoulder. She clutched onto him, and Jack could feel the heat come off her sex.

Roughly, he pulled her to him and forced her leg to come around his waist, and he supported her as he pushed her back on the mast. Their lips never ceased, their touches grew more risque, as more clothing came off.

"Luv, yer beautiful. Can't believe... yer letting me see you..."

Elizabeth held onto his shoulders and pulled him down onto the deck, a look of trust and desire in her eyes. But can desire be trusted? Jack gasped when she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer.

Jack got frustrated all of the sudden. Standing up, he violently knocked the chair over and threw his pencil across the room. He let out a roar- that man, that damn blacksmith was having her. Right now, probably! His soft gentleman hands were itching her skirt up, feeling the lovely flesh underneath...

Jack clenched his teeth and forced to think on other things. Like fish. Fish were wonderful creatures- they never touched. They never conversed. And that are excellent swimmers. Jack had watched them many times under the water, watching their fluid movements.

Jack let out another roar and pushed the map of his desk, and stomped over to his door. He needed air- he needed to get out of the confines of his cabin. To try and clear his head.

Looking up at the night sky, he saw some birds fly around. Seagulls. They were getting close to land, then.

Jack sighed. Taking slow steps, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked the length of his deck. Examining the boards, the nails, the blackness of his railings. Once he was done walking around the whole ship, he stopped and leaned back against a mast. Their mast, as he thought of it. The mast where they first shared their looks, the mast where they shared their first kiss, their first time.

He allowed his mind to wonder, thinking of being Elizabeth's 'first'. He secretly though '..and only.', but he knew that could never be true. So he had to settle to just being 'first'. It was still a special role, in her and his life, but... 'but' he thought.

"God, Lizzie, yer already soaking."

He nipped her earlobe, eliciting a moan from the quivering woman under him. He was sitting on his knees above her, her legs still wrapped around his body. She held onto his shoulders and whispered:

"Please, Jack. I can't wait anymore."

With a grunt, Jack forced himself inside her body. With a whispered apology, he pushed beyond her virgin opening and felt her silk enfold his hard member. Her arms fell from his shoulders and she tried to grab onto the deck. Jack felt her pain in her scream, and he cried out also. For a different reason.

He was inside her. Finally, after a year of dreaming of it, he was in her perfect, pulsing body. He died to get to this, he lied and cheated just to be close to her. And he had her. Right then, right there, with her clutching his cock, he had her.

Her moans of pain turned into moans of pleasure. This encouraged Jack to pull back slightly.

"Please Jack... love me..."

"Oh, Lizzie... already do..."

His head bent down and he kissed her breast as he began moving inside of her.

Jack wiped away the angry tears and straightened up. How dare she! To make him feel only when she was around, to make him love her and never get to claim her as his own.

How dare he! He was furious with himself also, for allowing the ... the ... the bitch to be so deep in his heart. He was angry that he loved her. He was angry that she let him have her.

'No.' he thought. 'I don't regret that.'

Sighing, he rubbed his cheeks as he walked back into his cabin.

She was perfect. Beautiful. Naked, and his, for that night. Her eyes were closed... his were wide open, watching her gasp and shudder at what he was doing to her. He put her into the deep, heavy bliss... it was him she loved.

"Jack."

"Elizabeth." Jack teased and sucked on her nipple, hearing her scratch at the deck.

He moved faster now, hearing their collected gasps and moans at the right of it. It felt right. It was right. Them, together, like this... it was right, Jack was sure of it.

The pleasant wet sounds of lovemaking and her moaning was music to Jack's ears. Oh god, he would give up everything... his ship, his rum, his maps and even his beloved hat. He would give up pirating, Tortuga, the whole Caribbean if only, if only he could have her like this for the rest of his pathetic life. A little part of him told him that it would never happen, that she was going to run off and marry. But there was that part, encouraged by her screaming his name out, that told him to enjoy it. He'll see it again. He'll meet her like this again, don't worry. It won't only be this time.

"Jack! Ooooooh... Jack, I... I..." her words were lost in the sea, the sea of pleasure that was currently drowning her.

Jack gapsed against her bare skin and he groaned. He felt his completion pull from his shaft, but he refused to let her go. Not yet. Let him keep her for just a little longer.

Jack pushed open the door to his cabin, and bent down to retrieve his pencil. Goddam, he was just being silly. For all he knew, it was probably just a dream. Nothing like that had ever happened to him before, surely he was dreaming it.

But he wasn't and he knew it.

Taking a deep breath, he left the door open and walked over to the desk. He picked up the crumpled map, and smoothed it out over his desk. He sat down with a soft groan, and looked at his pencil tip. Bugger. He broke it. He reached down and pulled his dagger out of his boot, and began to chip away.

Once he got a fine point, he settled over his map and began drawing again. Soft curves, harsh edges, everything that made the ship his ship. He returned his attention to the little thing that was one his deck, paying close attention to the soft curls.

She probably told Will, by now. Probably married him and blurted her secret. And being the man he is, was, and forever will be, he forgave her. And pulled her into a sweet kiss. She probably kissed him back.

Damn it. Those should be his kisses, Jack thought, 'those kisses are suppose to be mine'.

He sighed. Nothing he could do about that now. She left, two years ago, she left him on the deck and ran off to the 'happy life of Port Royal'.

Bitch.

Whore.

Murderer.

Oh god, he missed her.

She gasped and arched up into him, her perfect bum pressing against his thighs. His name sounded like it was ripped from her soul as she completed, and she cried it out softly as her orgasm rocked her body.

Jack wasn't far behind. He went from caging her onto the deck to gripping her hips as he thrusted one last time into her. He threw his head back and cried out her name, then fell on top of her, still shivering from his finish.

They both gasped for air, Jack's head laying on her chest. He was still inside her, and it still felt right. This. Them. He loved it. He treasured it. He wanted more of it.

Jack rolled to the side, slipping gently out of her passage and holding her in his arms. They laid like that for silent moments, until she spoke.

"Jack, I... I-"

Jack ran his fingers through her hair, and smiled. This wasn't something he did everyday, and he knew that this time was the right time. "I love you, too."

"I'm sorry."

Jack pulled away from her and propped up on his elbow. He looked down at her, first with shock, confusion, then sadness. she bit her lip and sat up to face him.

"I'm sorry Jack." She sniffed and gathered her clothes. "I can't. I can't." She chanted over and over again as she pulled on her clothes. Jack could only sit there, upset that she refused him, after they ... and after he...

"Jack, look at me." He didn't. "Fine then. Don't. But I can't feel the same way as you do."

"Can't or won't?"

Elizabeth left then, leaving Jack to pick up his clothing and walk to his cabin.

It was well into morning when he finally finished drawing the map. Jack rubbed his scratchy eyes, and yawned. Another night of no sleep. He was use to it, he usually just took a shot of rum and laid in his bunk.

A soft knock sounded on his door. Jack looked over his shoulder and smiled at his first mate.

"Come on in, Mr. Gibbs."

"Sir, we be approaching Port Royal in an hour. Maybe half, depends on the wind."

"Excellent." He groaned as he stood up, feeling and hearing his bones and muscles crack from the action. He looked down at the map of the Pearl, and smiled at the little addition he made. It was him. And her. Doing what they did that night.

He didn't want it. And he knew just exactly who to give it to. Without thinking twice, he rolled up the map and tied a black ribbon around it. Jack turned to Gibbs and handed it over.

"Send this message to the Turner's, the missus especially. Tell her I can't. She'll know what I mean."

Gibbs nodded, confused, but he left to do what he was told.

Jack kicked off his boot and shimmied out of his coat, dropping it onto the floor. He crawled onto the bed.

'I can't. I can't forget you. I can't stop loving you.

But like hell am I going to sit around and wait fer you.'

THE END (Hope you liked!)