Summary; This is something I wrote ages ago. It is in fact, my first ever venture into slash and also Fanfiction. It’s probably about two years old. It’s a bit of fun; Sirius has discovered that Remus has a date and takes ‘measures’. Really stupid ‘measures’.

Disclaimer; They aren’t mine in any way, shape or form. They belong to Ms Rowling (Her Worship) and Warner Brothers.

Warning; This is slash and as I believe in democracy and freedom of choice, you don’t HAVE to read it if you don’t like the idea of boys doing a love. You can just back out.

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“Padfoot?”

“Moony?”

“You’re sitting on my feet.”

“I know.”

“And you’ve tied my hands to the bed post.”

“Right.”

“And I have a date in about five minutes.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. Probably less than five minutes actually.”

“True.”

“So…?”

“So…what?”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing Moony.”

“But…You…I…You can’t…”

“I think I can.”

“Sirius! Please!”

“Calm down Moony. He won’t mind. He’s a Hufflepuff, it’s almost expected that you stand him up.”

“But I don’t want to stand him up!”

“Why?”

“Because I like him! And he likes me!”

“He’s not the only one around.”

“I’m not like you! It’s not like I have loads of potential dates queuing up.”

“Oh don’t be dense Moony. People are always hitting on you for dates.”

“But they never actually ask me!”

“Yes. Well.”

“Yes well what?”

“They probably just never get round to it.”

“What do you mean ‘never get round to it’?”

“You know. Pressures of school and stuff.”

“So you’re saying that loads of people fancy me but homework gets too much so they never ask me out?”

“…Yes…?”

“…”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what Sirius? How am I looking at you?”

“Like you think I’ve done something horrible.”

“What have you done Sirius?”

“Please Remmy. Look…I’ll let you go. Just. Please.”

“Did you not realise that after tying me to my bed you would have to come up with an explanation?”

“I didn’t really work on that part of the plan.”

“I can see that. Start working on it.”

“Well I know how much you like to study. And I figured that you wouldn’t need the distractions. So I just told them.”

“You told them I needed to concentrate on schoolwork so I couldn’t date anyone. And they believed you.”

“Yep.”

“It’s good to see I inspire such passion and conviction in my suitors.”

“Well perhaps I persuaded them a bit.”

“What? How?!”

“Just waved my wand around growled a bit. The usual.”

“The usual? You’ve done this a lot?”

“Well I told you a lot of people liked you Moony!”

“Sirius! You can’t just threaten everybody who likes me! It’s rude! I’m surprised Jan got up the courage to ask me out at all!”

“You know Hufflepuffs. Bloody stupid the lot of them.”

“Not that it matters anyway. He’ll think I stood him up.”

“Good!”

“No Padfoot. Not good! And WHERE do you get off threatening my dates anyway?”

“I just know how much school means to you and how grumpy you get when someone tries to take you away from your studies.”

“That’s not true!”

“It is. You throw things at me if I talk when you’re reading!”

“That’s different! You don’t want to take me out on a date!”

“Moony-“

“NO! Look Sirius, I find talking to people REALLY tricky-“

“Moon-“

“And it’s hard enough to even CONSIDER a relationship when you turn into an unnatural MONSTER every month-

“Remus-“

“But I TRY. I REALLY TRY. But anyone who likes me YOU scare away-“

“Please-“

“And if you can’t scare them away you practically KIDNAPP me so they believe I don’t WANT to see them-

“Just-“

“I thought you were my FRIEND Sirius and yet you go OUT OF YOUR WAY to make SURE no one can ever love me!”

“Oh God, Remus-“

“WHICH, if you knew ANYTHING about me, you would know is all I’ve EVER wanted!”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU?? NO ONE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN I DO! NO ONE.”

“Oh really?”

“DON’T YOU TALK SARCASTICALLY TO ME! DON’T YOU DARE! WHO WATCHES OVER YOU THROUGH ALL THOSE NIGHTS WHERE YOU SCREAM YOURSELF HOARSE FROM NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE CHANGE?”

“…”

“AND WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE ALL YOUR NOTES FROM THE CLASSES YOU MISS DURING THE FULL MOON?”

“…”

“AND WHO BRINGS YOU UP YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF WAFFLE (chocolate covered) WHEN YOU’RE TOO EXHAUSTED TO GET UP THE NEXT MORNING?”

“…”

“AND WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT YOU PREFER RAIN TO SNOW BECAUSE SNOW IS NICE IN THEORY BUT ULTIMATELY UNDERWHELMING?”

“Siri…”

“OR THAT WHEN YOU DRAG OUT THAT REALLY BIG DUSTY BOOK AND ASK FOR PRIVACY ITS NOT BECAUSE YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING REALLY DEEP BUT IN FACT SNAFFLING CHOCOLATE?”

“Sirius…”

“AND EXACTLY WHO IS IT THAT REMINDS YOU TO CUT YOUR HAIR WHEN ITS JUST THAT INCH TOO LONG AND FLOPS IN YOUR EYES AND ANNOYS YOU DURING CLASS. AND WHO-“

“SIRIUS! PLEASE. I get it!”

“But you don’t get it Moony. You just don’t. I know all these things and I do all these things and then you go and arrange a date with the first idiot canary brain that smiles at you.”

“And so naturally the thing to do is to tie me to my bed and sit on my legs.”

“Moony!”

“Well really! Sirius the Great Plotter reduced to this.”

“Shut up. I ran out of ideas.”

“You could have just talked to me.”

“Talking! Hi Remus, you don’t notice anything I try to do for you and you’d rather snuggle a stranger than me!”

“Hullo Sirius, I notice everything you do for me and I’d rather you than any stranger I can imagine.”

“See! That would have turned out-…what did you say?”

“I think you heard me.”

“I think I’d like to hear it again.”

“Sirius, you’re very close to my face”

“Say it again Moony.”

“And you’re holding me very tightly.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“And your hands are moving up and-oh!”

“Remus…Say it.”

“I notice everything you do and…Mmphf!”

“….”

“….”

“No more dates with Hufflepuffs Moony?”

“You can’t say that after kissing me!”

“Course I can. Especially after kissing you.”

“Sirius!”

“Remmie! Truly though. No more? You’re mine?”

“Completely yours.”

“….”

“….”

“Siri?”

“Hmmm?”

“You’re still sitting on my legs and, er, I’m still tied up.”

“Hmmmm.”

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A/N Thank you and please review.