Going Home

The tall palms swayed back and forth. Heavy rain pelted the fronds with great force, as well as the muddy grass they stood on. She could hear a siren in the distance, jarring her out of her memory-laden thoughts. He could tell that she needed more time, if only just to stand here, to be close to him. He would give her all the time she needed.

It was ironic, the rain. But then again, it’s in rain’s nature to be at least slightly ironic. Rain on parades and wedding days and all. But she still couldn’t believe it was raining today. Today of all days.

She could swear that if she looked hard enough, she could still see the imprints from the legs of the chairs, digging into the soggy ground. The loud, cracking bangs of the guns. She had fired hundreds of guns in her life, but she could remember hearing none of them except for those that were fired on that rainy day, so long ago. So long ago, yet fresh in her mind. Fresh like a wound yet to heal.

If any other person were to look closely at her face, mascara running and droplets of rain beading softly on her lipstick, they would see just that. But he knew. He knew that the moisture on her face was a mixture of rain and hot, salty tears. He knew how it killed her, if only in small pangs of guilt, how she never really got to say goodbye.

She leant down gracefully, placing a single rose in front of the plaque that solemnly bore his name.

He would stay strong for her, even if it killed him inside. He knew that there was a portion of her heart that was specially reserved for him that would never fully recover. He would never have all of her, and for the most part, he understood. But it stung; it stung because he couldn’t give her the one thing he knew she wanted most in the world.

He couldn’t give her Tim back.

“I’m sorry.” She sniffled, standing up to face him. “You’re soaked. Let’s... let’s go home. We can go now.”

He pulled her gently into an embrace, attempting to calm the silent sobs that began to wrack her body. “No, it’s... it’s okay. We can stay.”

As he cleared his throat, choking back the lump in his throat, she knew that she had hurt him without even the slightest intention. But she understood.

She slowly pulled away, his hands resting protectively on her waist. “I hope you know how I feel about you... I...” The tears came again, rolling down her cheeks in streams that mingled with the rain droplets, her voice cracking softly.

He set his jaw, turning his gaze to the rose that lay behind her on the ground, it’s petals heavy with beads of water. “I know. I understand, I really do. It’s... sometimes it just... it hurts, y’know?”

Calleigh smiled sadly, placing a hand on the side of his face to return his gaze to hers. “He may have been there for me, and he... may always have a place in my heart.” He looked away again, but she was quick to bring him back again. She continued talking. “But you, you taught me that it was going to be okay. I didn’t think I could... I mean, I thought I couldn’t ever... love somebody the same way again.”

She hung her head as lighting cracked somewhere in the distance, and he pulled her close. “You know I love you, too.”

They stayed there for what seemed like an eternity, until the rain finally let up. “Let’s go home now.” Calleigh said meekly, glancing one last time toward the spot where Tim was laid to rest, and clasped Ryan’s hand. She spoke with more strength this time, her tone even. “I’m ready to go home.”