Chapter One: It Happened One Night

A/N: For all of you who liked Moments Like These I hope that you tune in for Once in a Lifetime. It is a Danny/Lindsay centered story. Not set during any specific episode. Basically Louie is alive, Aiden is still gone and the bombing happened. Everything else erase from memory, except for the hug. That it the only thing that keeps us Wheatfield and Skyline kids happy. I’m also pulling a One Tree Hill and titling all my stories after movies. Here we go, it is my delight to bring you chapter one of Once in a Lifetime: It Happened One Night.

The day started out like any other for Danny Messer. He got up had his coffee and read the paper. The case that he had been working on the day before was the page three headline of the Times. On his way to the lab he stopped for a muffin at his favorite café. The college age girl behind the counter smiled flirtatiously at him and he nodded out of politeness.

Before he would have made polite conversation to see if there was a dinner in the future but he just wasn’t into that anymore. What he wanted he couldn’t have. He wanted to be with Lindsay Monroe. The girl from Montana who had stolen his heart. Only she had no idea that’s what she had done.

If Danny could pick the moment when he knew that she was the one it was the look of fear and concern she had given him when he was placed on modified duty after the cigarette butt with his DNA was found in a hole at Giants stadium. It was a look of concern and some of guilt because she was the one who ran the test on the cigarette butt.

There had been other moments as well. There was one in particular that he loved to go over in his head over and over again. He had tried to talk her out of playing the decoy. But she being as stubborn as he was told him she’d be fine. He was the first one out of the van when her cover had been blown. He ran in gun blazing yelling for her. Not his nickname for her but her name. It was in the thought of losing her did he realize that he truly loved her. But now, she liked him; she admitted that, but she wasn’t ready. She had said it herself. He did tell her that if she wanted to talk he’d always be around.

So now Danny went home had crappy takeout, a beer and watch a little TV. He was waiting for her to be ready. Ready to be with him. It was a lonely wait, wait that would drive him crazy.

He tried to be professional as he could around her. It was getting more difficult with every passing day. He hated being on the outside. He had lived his life on the outside of the world that his brother lived. A life that had almost gotten him killed. Danny had never been happier than when Louie woke up. He wanted so much to be there with Lindsay, the woman he talked to Louie about all the time. He had hoped to have gotten to introduce Lindsay as his girlfriend when he woke up. As it turns out that’s not what happened.

Sure Lindsay was excited that Louie had woken up and things would be all right for him, but that is as far as she would take it. She could allow herself to be swept away in her feelings for Danny. There was no way she could trust him because she did not trust herself. There were a great many things that Lindsay blamed herself for. And in that blame and shame game she greatly despised being in cost her more than she had wanted. She lost Danny. She knew he wasn’t waiting for her to be ready. Guys like Danny Messer didn’t wait for poor little country girls like her. Especially ones like her, with a past so dark and dreary as hers.

Lindsay wanted Danny to love her for her and not care about what she came from. She wanted to be the strong, clear headed woman she was when she first came to the city. She wanted to shed her old life and all of her ghosts. Ghosts that still haunted her dreams. No matter what she did she could not make them go away.

Until that one night. It had been a long, long day for her. She and Danny were working on the same case for the first time since the Suicide Girl case earlier that year. He was so distant and as hard as it was for her to admit it, he was cold. He wasn’t the Danny she knew and secretly loved. This was an automaton in a Danny suit. No easy banter, teasing, anything. It was dry, to the point, just not what she wanted from him at all. She wanted him to be that guy that rescued her.

After about an hour of it she caught him at the truck, loading up the evidence that needed to remain chilled in the coolers.

“What’s with you today Danny?” she asked. “You’re not being you.”

“What is it that you want me to do Lindsay? Tell you that everything is fine between us?” Danny snapped, his voice raising. “Because it’s not. You were the one that needed time, time away from me, from what we could be. I thought there was more to you than some childish need to keep everything a big secret. I guess I was wrong. You hold everyone at arms length, including me! The one person who loves you more than you know. I can’t do this here.” He had finally had enough. He didn’t notice that she didn’t flinch or barely blinked while he was yelling. He should have stopped there but he continued to rant. “You know what? I’m done. Keep your secrets. Because I don’t care anymore.”

With that Danny walked away, leaving Lindsay stunned. She had never heard him talk to anyone that way at all. That’s when she knew how much she had really hurt him. More than she realized. You hold everyone at arms length, including me. The one person who loves you more than you know. How right he was.

On her way home she stopped at a corner market and picked out a blank card. The photo on the front was of the rising sun. The message on the front said, “Every day begins new.” She purchased it and went home. She sat at her kitchen table trying to form the words to tell Danny. She wrote in the card: I’m sorry. Please read the enclosed letter. She bent over sheets of stationary pouring out her soul.

Danny, I should be telling you all this in person but I can’t seem to be able to find the right way to bring it up while we are together. So I’m going to try to write them down. Well here goes.

When I said I needed time I meant it. There are a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of and I don’t want you to be a part of them. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you in the way that you care about me. Back home in Montana things were not easy for me. It has not all been sunshine and prancing ponies. Things for me were not easy or happy.

My sister Carrie was seven years older than me and was my mother’s pride and joy. Nothing I did was ever enough for my mother. Growing up with such a perfect older sister was no easy task. Carrie could dance, skate and barrel ride. She took first in every show we would go to. Everything in our family revolved around what Carrie wanted and what Carrie needed.

Carrie made the Homecoming royalty every year. Carrie was this and Carrie was that, It’s all I heard for years. That’s what I still hear even though Carrie has been gone a long time.

She had this boyfriend her senior year. He had dropped out when his family’s ranch was struggling. Chase Jarrell was his name. Carrie and Chase. They got the bright idea one night that they were going to run away, far away from ranches, barrel ponies, state fairs and everything that our lives had in them.

Carrie and I shared a room, much to her dismay. I was the annoying little sister who would hold her ground when Carrie wanted the room to herself. I was awake the night she climbed out our bedroom window to meet up with Chase. They were going to Seattle. I knew that from the conversations I had overheard her have with Chase when she thought I was asleep. Needless to say they never made it to Seattle. I ratted them out.

Carrie was forbidden to see Chase anymore and she resented it. She took it out on me like any normal sibling would do. She blamed me for everything that was wrong with her life. The verbal attacks were in my head all the time. Still are. “You’re never going to get out of Bozeman,” she would say. “You’re never going to be anything but an annoyance to everyone around you. No one is ever going to love you. No one is ever going to want a simple country girl like you. You’re a disgrace Lindsay. You’re always going to be second place to everyone.”

She had finally had enough of being in my parents’ house so she left one night, didn’t leave a note or anything. I didn’t even hear her leave that night. The next morning our house woke in a panic when they realized that Carrie was gone. According to my mother it was my fault that Carrie was gone. I found it so ridiculous that she would even go that far. It was not my fault that Carrie ran away. It was hers. Carrie chose to leave, I didn’t make her.

Despite my arguments my mother’s mind was made up. Carrie left and it was my fault. Dad lost the ranch, it was my fault. Tanner, my older brother, broke his leg, it was my fault. Even though I knew that it wasn’t hearing it all the time I started to believe it. Slowly but surely I got the hell away from my parents and my mother’s hurtful words. I graduated from high school with top honors, a full scholarship to the University of Montana and I was finally free of them.

The things I found in college were far from what I had experience at home and in high school. I made friends that didn’t know about either of my siblings. I met a guy that would soon become my entire world. Todd Brooks was from Chicago also on scholarship. We met one morning when we both missed breakfast in the student center. Luckily there was an open café and we had breakfast there.

Todd was in so many ways like you Danny. He was smart, clever, hot tempered and quick to apologize. The last two traits were what scared me the most. When his temper would flare it was usually directed at me. I was used to it because of Carrie and my mother. When he would yell I would just stand there and take it, like every time Carrie or Mom would. He would storm away and I would remain the same. That’s how people who loved me treated me.

Things with Todd would finally escalate from simple arguments to physical attacks, sending me to the emergency room. I changed everything about me just so he wouldn’t find me again. I moved dorms, changed the schedule of my classes. With every hit, kick, blow I would endure from Todd I heard my sister’s berating voice in my head telling this was all that I deserved. That I would never get any better. I graduated from college got a god job made my way up and soon found my way to New York. So far I had proved Carrie wrong on one lie. I did get out of Bozeman. Then in walks this guy, cocky as all get out but had a tenderness, a soft side to that tough outer core that he showed to everyone.

I couldn’t help but falling for that guy. He was concerned when I was banished to the lab during a high profile case, carried me with ease across a roof, ate bugs with me. I never expected to fall in love with you Danny. I never meant to, it just happened. The moment I knew when I loved you was when you called to me from the smoke of that apartment. When you held me in your arms, so warm and gentle. But then I heard the voices of all of those who were supposed to love me and I got scared and I pushed you away. My damaged self esteem, heart and soul couldn’t comprehend that you want to love me in the way that I deserved to be loved. Loved in a way that I didn’t know existed.

Please Danny, please tell me that I’m not too late. Because I do love you. I love you more than I thought possible. I’ve been hurt, abused and left out so many times that I just want to be safe for once in my life. Tell me I can find that safety in your embrace again. I felt it once and I long with everything that is in me to feel it again. Please Danny. Please. I love you.

Lindsay

Tears were dripping onto the paper as she signed the letter. She folded it up and laid it in the card. She put on her coat and went out to the subway station. It took her two different trains to get to Danny’s place but she finally made it there. It was way past midnight when she slipped the envelope with the letter and the card under his door. She slipped back into the dark and back to her place to be alone once again.

What she didn’t know was that Danny had been watching her from the window. He watched her slip the card under his door and then walk briskly away. As soon as she was out of sight he went down to his door and found what she had left. He opened the envelope and saw the card. Every day begins new. In her soft handwriting he read her message. Then he turned his attention to the letter. He sat down on the steps as he read.

He couldn’t believe the way that Lindsay had been treated by her mother and sister. His blood boiled at what Todd did to her. That’s when it all started making sense. His thoughts went back to when he was yelling at her earlier that day. She didn’t move, flinch or barely blinked as he told her to keep her secrets. He read the last paragraph over and over. Please Danny, please tell me that I’m not too late. Because I do love you. I love you more than I thought possible. I’ve been hurt, abused and left out so many times that I just want to be safe for once in my life. Tell me I can find that safety in your embrace again. I felt it once and I long with everything that is in me to feel it again. Please Danny. Please. I love you.

Lindsay had gotten home and had fallen asleep on her couch. As she slept she heard a voice calling her name.

“Lindsay,” the voice whispered. “Lindsay.”

She sat up and looked around. “Who’s there?”

“He’s never going to love you now,” the voice taunted. “Who’s going to want you? A poor little country mouse whose sister didn’t love her, whose mother blamed her for everything that went wrong.”

“I don’t have to listen to you anymore!” Lindsay shouted, putting her hands over her ears.

The taunting voice finally materialized into a person that Lindsay had not seen in years. She was a tall girl, with curly brown hair and soft brown eyes. She was a pretty girl, with soft features. But for someone so beautiful as Carrie Monroe she had such an ugly soul.

“You’re not real,” Lindsay said. “This is a dream.”

Carrie walked around Lindsay’s apartment. She picked up Lindsay’s phone, flipping it open. She scrolled through the photos that Lindsay had saved. There were shots of the team but picture after picture of Danny.

“At least you got out of Bozeman. That we have in common. But you’re still poor little Lindsay. Lindsay the snitch. He’s not going to love you now. Not after what you told him. If he’s smart he’ll turn tail and run far away from you.”

“You’re not here! This is a dream! You can’t do this to me anymore Carrie!” Lindsay said.

“Little nothing Lindsay. You drove him away. He’s never going to come back to you. That boy has come to his senses. You’re destined to be alone forever. No one is ever going to love you. Todd was the best thing for you. Just give up. You know I’m right. I’m always right.”

“Stop it! You’re wrong! You’re wrong!”

“Lindsay,” Carrie hissed. “Lindsay.”

Lindsay bolted awake. She looked around her apartment. There was no sign of anyone there. Even in her dreams Carrie could get to her. But Carrie was wrong. Danny would understand. With tears pouring down her cheeks she left her apartment and hailed a cab. She went back to Danny’s. She paid the cabbie and ran up the steps of his place, slamming her thumb on the buzzer.

“Please Danny. Please be awake,” Lindsay whispered.

Danny had just finished reading her letter for the eighth time when she buzzed. He went downstairs and opened the door. She stood there, her cheeks glistening with tears, her hands shaking.

“Lindsay? Baby what’s wrong?”

“I had a nightmare. Please tell me I’m not too late,” Lindsay said, her tears starting up again.

Danny pulled her to him, embracing her tightly. She found the crook of his shoulder and let the tears pour out.

“Montana, put your arms around my neck,” he said softly. With one fluid motion he swept her into his arms and carried her upstairs to his apartment. He kicked his door closed and together they sat on his couch. Lindsay in his lap, his arms around her protectively.

“I thought this was over. I haven’t heard her voice in years,” Lindsay was sobbing. “But there she was. Taunting, hurting me all over again. Please just hold me Danny. Just hold me.”

“I thought you would never ask,” Danny whispered into her ear. “Just let it out. Let it out. I’m here, you’re safe and I love you.”

She gripped the edges of her shirt as she sobbed. “But you can’t love me. I’m broken, unlovable.”

“By whose standards? Carrie’s? Your mother’s? Even that asshole Todd’s?”

“No mine,” Lindsay cried. “I’m never going to be good enough for you. You’ll see. You’ll change. Everyone changes.”

“Do you hear yourself Lindsay?” Danny asked, putting his hand under her chin, lifting her eyes to meet his. “This is not the Lindsay that I know and love. The Lindsay that I know and love is sure of herself and doesn’t take crap from anyone. You are more than I could have ever hoped for. I love you.”

He looked her in the eyes, keeping his index finger under her chin. He leaned into her, kissing her softly. His hand moved from her chin to into her hair, his fingers tangling themselves into her soft tresses.

“She can’t hurt you anymore,” Danny whispered, pulling away. “She can’t hurt you while I’m here protecting you.”

He wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

“Danny,” Lindsay began.

“What is it Lindsay?” he asked, looking over the beautiful woman on his lap. His hand traveled over her back rubbing it softly, in his own way removing bit by bit the hurt she had endured.

“I should go. We both had such a long day and you need your sleep,” Lindsay said, trying to stand up.

“Forget about it,” Danny said. “I let you go once. I don’t dare do it again.”

They both stood and Danny held her hand softly. He took a few steps towards his bedroom. But he was the only one moving. Lindsay was frozen in place.

“Montana?”

“I can’t do this. I can’t stay here.”

“Why not Lindsay? Give me one good, real reason why you can’t stay here tonight, wrapped in the safety of my embrace?”

“I’m not ready. Danny, I want to be. I want to stay here. But I can’t.”

“This is Carrie talking, Montana. You’ve broken yourself free of her. She doesn’t have any power over you anymore. I’m not Todd. I love you. You need to learn love tonight. My love. Real love. Let’s start now. Love is always patient and kind.”

Danny sat back down on the couch. He patted the cushion beside him, waiting for her to take the first step. She looked at him and what she saw shocked her. Staring back at her was not the monster that Todd was. She saw only the love that she had longed for. She took that first step forward, surprised of how easy it was. She slowly made it to the couch and sat down next to Danny. She laid her head on his shoulder and felt his arm move over her shoulders.

“Day by day, Lindsay you will learn that those who love you will treat you with kindness, respect, compassion. No longer will you hear the ones who claim to love you call you useless, unlovable or broken. I am that person Lindsay,” Danny whispered to her. “You have had a horrible disservice done to your heart. I’m going to mend it.”

He saw her hand intertwine with his. He brought their interlocked fingers to his lips, kissing her knuckles. He watched her quietly as she fell into a peaceful sleep. He carefully laid her down on his couch, putting the throw pillows under her head, tucking pieces of her hair behind her ears. He went to his hall closet and pulled out a blanket. He draped it over her. He bent down and kissed her temple.

“Goodnight my Lindsay,” he whispered. “Sweet dreams.”

He retreated to his bedroom, leaving the door open. He removed his glasses and laid them on his nightstand. He killed his light and settled into his pillows. What felt like thirty seconds after he had fallen asleep he was awoken to the sound of Lindsay crying out in the living room. He bolted awake and ran to the living room. Lindsay was fighting someone in her sleep.

“No Todd, please!” she was crying. “Please not again.”

Danny got to her side quickly and softly shook her awake. She fought with him, still in her nightmare.

“Montana,” he whispered quietly into her ear. “Wake up baby. It’s ok. Lindsay.”

Lindsay’s eyes popped open and she examined her surroundings. She wasn’t in her apartment. She had no idea where she was. Then she looked to her left and saw Danny kneeling next to her, his arms on her, around her.

“Danny,” she gasped.

“It’s ok. It’s over. I’m here,” Danny soothed. “I’m here.”

“It was awful. I was back in Montana at school. Todd was there. He was coming at me. And Carrie was in the background, laughing.”

“Lindsay, you can trust me,” Danny said, sincerely. “Nothing is going to happen until you want it to happen. Come on. You deserve a peaceful night’s sleep.”

He stood up, holding out his hand. It would be her choice to take his hand or not. She could sleep on his couch, covered in his blanket or she could let go of her fears and lay with him. Sleep peacefully in his arms knowing he was there to protect her. She lifted the blanket off her lap and took his hand.

“I trust you Danny,” she whispered. “I trust you.”

He led her to his bedroom. They stopped at the foot of his bed as she took off her shoes. She was already in sweats. She looked over at Danny. She felt in her heart that this was right and everything would be fine.

“Hold me?” she asked after climbing into his bed.

“I plan to,” Danny said, opening his arms for her.

Lindsay curled up next to him, letting the emotions of the day and now night wash over her, cleansing her. The light went out and she felt his arms tighten around her. He kissed her cheek one last time before he whispered his goodnights.

“I could get used to this,” Lindsay whispered into the darkness.

“Good to know,” Danny replied. “I love you Baby girl.”