A Journey in the Dark

Disclaimer: I do NOT own "Avatar: The Last Airbender" or anything pertaining to it, or any copyrighted works appearing in this story. The following is based off of characters and concepts from the show.

Summary: With one bad decision, Zuko has betrayed so many, and his assurance in that decision is at its lowest ebb. Can Zuko finally travel through the Darkness to find his Light? Implied Zutara.

That title, “A Journey in the Dark” was borrowed from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Now, in LOTR, that title was a chapter title, meant to be taken literally. Here, it is strictly metaphorical, showing Zuko’s journey through the darkness of Fire Nation cruelty and Azula’s corruption. Written after the season II finale. Implied Zutara, but I’m not gonna take this story far enough ahead as to get to the actual Zutara-ness.

I’ve looked at this moment from Katara’s perspective in “Trust and Betrayal”. Now, it’s his turn.

His name is Zuko. This—is his story.

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A Journey in the Dark

Chapter One

Doubt in His Decision

“You seem distracted, brother,” Azula commented, observing her brother over the rim of her teacup. The throne room was empty save for they two, and the two Dai Li agents that stood guard at the door, impassive and stoic. “What’s on your mind?”

“Huh?” Zuko turned to look at his sister, those hard golden eyes boring a hole through his being. “Oh. Nothing.”

“I can tell you’re lying, Zuko,” Azula said, grinning imperceptibly. “You always were a terrible liar.”

Zuko didn’t acknowledge her, but vaguely thought that the reason he was a terrible liar was because all of their family’s skills of deception had been passed on to Azula.

“You’re going to be proclaimed a war hero when you return home,” the Firebender princess said, tactfully changing the subject. “You do realize that, don’t you, Zuko?” Zuko looked at her out of the corner of his right eye, but didn’t reply immediately. She was watching him intently as she sipped her jasmine tea, a smile most unpleasant playing on her painted lips. He knew that look, but it was difficult to tell what it might portend.

With a fierce look and a swift nod, Azula dismissed the Dai Li agents, and the large door of the throne room clanged to behind them. Sitting down her teacup, Azula stepped down from her place on the throne and approached Zuko where he stood at the other side of the dais. She arched an eyebrow, though he didn’t see the action (for he was standing with his back to her), and eyed him incredulously.

“You should be excited,” she said, exasperated. “You can finally return home. And what’s more, you can return home with your honor. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I guess,” he replied quietly, unconvincingly. I thought it was, anyway, he mused silently to himself. Maybe Uncle was right…

“Uncle was a traitor,” Zuko’s sister said venomously, as if she’d seen his thoughts. “He sided with the Avatar. He would’ve been the end of the Fire Nation.”

“He was just trying to help me,” the young Firebender replied.

“He was trying to help himself, Zuko,” Azula retorted in that mesmerizing, deceiving voice of hers that was like the whisper of a thousand snakes. She laid her hand on his shoulder. “But you,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “You have been loyal to your country, and your element.”

Zuko just pulled away from his sister and looked away, self-doubt obvious in the simple action.

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That night, dreams ran wild in Zuko’s confused mind, stirring old memories and old feeling in the back of his consciousness.

… “Zuko!” Ursa, his mother, called through the darkness. “Zuko.”

“Mom!” Zuko lurched forward in the darkness, extending a hand desperately toward the faint image of his mother that hovered before him.

“Zuko,” Ursa said quietly, looking down on him in utter shame. “You have forgotten me.”

“No,” Zuko cried, shocked. “How could I?”

“You have forgotten me,” his mother said again. “You have forgotten who you are, and thus forgotten me.”

“No,” the young Firebender muttered, more to himself than to her.

“You have lost yourself, Zuko,” Ursa went on. “You are more than what you have become. You have chosen the easy road, and that’s not who you are. You’re someone who keeps trying, even though it’s hard.”

“But,” Zuko began to plead. “But—but this is the only way. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted…” His voice died, even as he said so, knowing that it wasn’t true.

“Is it, Zuko?” she asked. “Is this what you want?” She gracefully waved her arm and an image of Iroh chained in his cell below Ba Sing Se materialized before them. “Or is it—what someone else wants?” The image of Iroh faded and was quickly replaced by one of Ozai, his eyes afire. Zuko’s eyes widened as his father’s flaming gaze turned upon him, laughing scornfully. And, just as suddenly as the image had come, it was replaced and faded into another. Zuko now looked upon his sister, Azula, laughing that same cruel laugh.

Zuko caught his breath sharply and stumbled back a few steps. A swift series of images—his uncle, the Avatar, Katara—passed before his eyes, but Ursa swept her arm through the present image, and it disintegrated, disappeared without a trace.

“You betrayed them all, Zuko,” Ursa said, almost scornfully. “You betrayed your uncle, and that Waterbender and her friends. They trusted you. And look what you have done.”

“No!” Zuko fell to his knees then, and held his head in his hands, trembling with indecision. Ursa approached Zuko for the first time then, and, kneeling before him, she placed her hand beneath his chin, forcing him to face her.

“Look inside yourself, Zuko, my love,” she said quietly. “And ask yourself what it is that you really want. You had sight of it for a while, but you lost it. Claim it again.”

“But how?” he asked. “How can I go back?”

Ursa stood. “You will find your way.” With that, she moved away from him and began to fade.

“Mom!” Zuko called in vain. “Mom!”…

“Mom!” Zuko shot up in his bed, his breathing ragged. He gripped the blanket with an iron grip, just to have a hold on something real in the night. The young Firebender ran his hands over his face after a moment, and sighed deeply, the self-doubt of his decision crashing down on him.

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Zuko drew a deep breath as he descended down to the dungeons of Ba Sing Se. He didn’t know if what he was about to do would effect anything at all, but he had to do it.

At the end of the long rows of fire-proof cells that lined the hall, several Dai Li agents stood guard at the door of a single room. As Zuko advanced, the Dai Li did not seem to acknowledge him, but stood still and unmoving statues as always.

“Leave,” Zuko ordered shortly, when he stood before the steel gate. The Dai Li exchanged silent glances; Princess Azula had been clear that no one was to see the prisoner, and they were not to leave their posts for any reason. But at the same time, she had also indicated that Prince Zuko was her co-ruler, and his word was law…for now. “I said, leave,” the Prince repeated, more sternly. The Earthbenders looked from one to the other, then with a silent nod, agreed to follow the prince’s orders. They departed from him then, leaving him alone with the man in the cell.

Zuko peered through the barred window that was set high in the metal door, and he could barely make out the form of an old man, chained securely to the steel of the walls.

“Uncle?” Zuko said quietly. “Uncle Iroh?” There was no perceivable reaction, but hidden from Zuko’s vision, Iroh perked up his ears, intent to what his nephew was saying. “Uncle, I know you can hear me.” Once again, Iroh did not visibly respond, but out of the corner of his golden eyes, he was watching his nephew fixedly through the bars.

Zuko bowed his head. “Uncle…I’m sorry.”

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This chapter is kind of a repeat of the end of Crossroads, to show that Zuko is still having these doubts and Azula didn’t really convince him. That—and I HAD to have a The Lion King moment (Zuko/Ursa, Simba/Mufasa); I HAD to, it was just too tempting. I purposely avoided Azula calling Zuko “Zu-zu” in this chapter, because remember, she has to make him believe that she’s on his side. Calling him by a hated nickname certainly wouldn’t help, and she did call him “Zuko” in Crossroads. And that phrase toward the beginning of the chapter, “a smile most unpleasant”, is totally from Dr. Sues’s “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. Hee-hee. I’m such a dork.

Updates on this will be pretty random, at least until I finish my other Avatar fic, “Fire and Water”, so you might wanna put this on story alert if you wanna keep up with it.

Next chapter: Never Again—Zuko sees Jin in the city. What will happen? Draw your own conclusions, but remember, please, this IS a Zutara-ish fic, not Zujin.