A/N: Hello, again. It makes me sad that people are not reviewing. I suppose it’s good that I’m at least getting hits. I wouldn’t mind some feedback though. Positive, negative. It doesn’t really matter. I love hearing from my readers.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters from LOTR. If I did I wouldn’t be writing this because, I’d be too busy sitting on a beach on a tropical island, sipping a fruity drink and getting fanned and massaged by sexy, muscular, half-naked men who worship me as their love goddess... (drool). Oh! Sorry. What?

Christmas Wishes

Four Hobbits

Dear Santa,

I had a really strange dream that you sent me Blade, Kraven, and Marcus. In my dream, things didn’t work out the way I imagined so, I’ve decided to switch my request to hobbits, instead.

Thankies!

Macy O.

Having read the letter thoroughly, Santa’s open palm connected with his forehead, making a satisfying Smack!

Macy bounded happily down the stairs. She couldn’t wait to see if Santa had gotten her letter and sent her the hobbits. Sure enough, to no one’s great surprise, four hobbits sat idly under her Christmas tree, talking quietly and casting glances around the room.

“EEEE!” Her excited fan girl call alerted them to her presence and they all looked up at her with fear shining in their little hobbit eyes. “Sam, Frodo, Pippin, and Merry! You’re sooooo much cuter in person!!”

Sam cast a questioning glance in Frodo’s direction but Frodo was too busy looking up at Macy with a look not dissimilar to Merry’s expression. That is, a dumbfounded look of perplexity.

“Hullo,” Pippin said brightly.

Eeping, Macy bent down and scooped the little hobbit into a hug. “I'm gonna hug you and squeeze you and pet you and keep you forever,” she said in likeness to Elmira from Tiny Toon Adventures.

“Who are you,” asked Frodo, standing up and looking up at Macy. “And where are we?” Sam had gotten up too and was standing protectively beside Frodo with his arms crossed.

“I’m Macy but you can call me Mommy,” she said happily, still holding Pippin and not noticing the confused looks Merry, Sam and Frodo shared. “This is your new home.”

“We can’t stay here,” Frodo said. “We need to find the Inn of the Prancing Pony. Gandalf will be waiting for us.” He didn’t want to mention the Ring because, well, frankly the girl seemed like she could be a spy for Sauron. If not Sauron himself in disguise.

Macy only giggled in response and said, “Silly hobbit.”

“I’m hungry,” Pippin said, pouting slightly. “D’you have anythin’ for breakfast?”

“Of course,” said Macy brightly. “Anything for my little babies.”

Still carrying Pippin, she led the other three hobbits into the kitchen. She place Pippin on the booster seat her parents usually made her use. Sam, Merry, and Frodo had to sit on phonebooks to get eyelevel with the table.

“What would you like,” she cooed, pinching Frodo’s cheeks.

“Anything,” Merry said from beside Pippin.

Macy let go of Frodo’s now red cheeks and he promptly rubbed them. She rummaged in the cabinets before pulling out a box of Hostess cupcakes. “Here you go my dears.”

The box had barely touched the table before the cupcakes were gone. Four hobbits were licking their fingers as Macy hee-hee’d.

“I’m still hungry,” Pippin complained.

“Me too,” Sam agreed.

“D’you have any mushrooms,” questioned Pippin, turning his bright eyes to her.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” she chirped, moving towards the fridge. “I picked them myself a few days ago!”

Again, before the plate mushrooms touched the table, they were devoured. The poor things didn’t stand a chance against the hunger of four hobbits. No morsel of food did.

“More,” Pippin demanded, beating on the table with his fists. Merry joined in and Sam and Frodo weren’t slow to follow. Mushrooms made them crazy. It turned the nicest of hobbits into crazed, munchy-searching, eating-machines.

“I’ll see what I can find,” Macy said happily. She turned to the freezer and pulled out a tub of ice-cream. When she turned back around to face the table, the hobbits were gone. “Munchkins? Oh! I get it! You want to play hide-n-seek! Okay!”

Macy left the ice-cream on the table and walked off into the living room. “Ready or not, here I come!”

Fifteen minutes later, Macy had checked the entire house, basement to attic and back again. She hadn’t found a single hobbit. Thinking that perhaps this was hide-n-seek-tag, she returned to the kitchen to see if they were using the table as base.

She stopped in the doorway and attempted to take in the sight around her. Sam was raiding the refrigerator, pulling out fruits, veggies, cheesecake, a tub of butter, chocolate syrup, and sandwich meats. Frodo stood on the toaster, using it as a boost so he could pull the contents from the cabinets. He threw boxes of cereal, pancake mix, Stove Top stuffing, fruit roll-ups, and several other things over his shoulder so Merry could catch them. Any dishes and plates that were unfortunate enough to get in his way shattered on the floor.

The floor was littered with cornflakes and flour. Maple syrup, Crisco, and molasses coated the tiles and made an ideal adhesive for the dry ingredients and containers that landed on the floor.

There was a thunk! and a crash! from the pantry and Macy watched as Pippin tumbled out, his arms loaded with Pepsi cans. “Look what I found! They make you burp!”

The others hurried over and cracked open the cans, chugging the carbonated beverage. Almost immediately the four hyped-up, over-sugared, over-mushroomed hobbits had a belching contest.

Sam went last, with a belch that shook the house. Macy was only vaguely aware of the tinkling shattering sounds of the glass ornaments falling from the tree in the living room. She was more focused, however, on the crazed giggles of the hobbits.

“What else do you have to eat,” demanded Frodo as he licked honey barbeque sauce from his fingers and around his mouth. He had eaten an entire serving dish full of leftover chicken wings before drinking the bottle of marinade.

“Um... nothing,” Macy said, looking around at the destroyed kitchen.

“Where can we get some,” shouted Sam, jumping up on a nearby chair and grabbing the collar of her shirt. “Tell us!”

Macy looked over his shoulder where Merry held a wooden spoon, Pippin was picking up a wire whisk and Frodo pressed the button on the electric beaters, making them whir!

“The grocery store,” she said meekly, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

“To the grocery store!” Frodo cried, abandoning the electric beaters and grabbing the potato masher and brandishing it over his head.

He led the charge out the front door. The other three hobbits gave their food-searching cries and raised their own weapons before following him.

“Wait!” Macy leaned out the front door as Pippin plunged off the stoop and into the three feet of snow in the front yard. She watched as four lumps moved beneath the snow where the hobbits were burrowing their way to the grocery store. “Come back my little babies! Come back! I‘ll pick more mushrooms!” Macy called as they disappeared from sight.