|The Calvin at Camp Christmas Carol
Author: Blue Paratroopa PM
Not sure how to explain this one...read it yourself and see. Parody of Muppet Christmas Carol.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 485 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12-13-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3287834
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Apples!" called Calvin. "Christmas apples!"
"We got Maclntosh!" grinned Hobbes.
"Get your Christmas apples!" Calvin called again.
"Red delicious," added Hobbes.
Calvin took a bite of one. "Tuppence apiece while they last."
"They won't last long the way you're eating them," grumbled Hobbes.
Calvin tossed the core away. "Hey. I'm creating scarcity. Drives the prices up."
"Calvin..." began Hobbes, before addressing the audience. "Hello! Welcome to The Calvin at Camp Christmas Carol. I am here to tell the story."
"And I am here for the food," said Calvin.
"My name is Blue Paratroopa."
"And my name is Calvin. Hey. Wait a second. You're not Blue Paratroopa."
"I am too!" insisted Hobbes.
Calvin rolled his eyes. "No. An orange furry Blue Paratroopa who hangs out with a kid?"
"Absolutely!" Hobbes paused and then broke character. "...Calvin, I can't do this anymore."
"This! This poor excuse for a parody! Blue Paratroopa already wrote an Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy Christmas Carol! Why the heck do we need this one?"
"Uh...cause everyone else is doing one?"
"But we don't follow people like sheep!" insisted Hobbes. "Up till now, we were even quoting directly from the script! What comes next, anyway?"
Calvin pulled out a script. "I call Blue Paratroopa a genius."
"That's just stuck-up. People shouldn't refer to themselves a geniuses."
Calvin looked around. "Uh, can we continue?"
"My heart's not in it..." sighed Hobbes. "Besides, a parody of "The Muppet Christmas Carol is a ridiculous idea, as it's already a parody! That's frankly pointless."
Jason and Marcus walked over. "Are we late?" asked Jason.
Marcus had a script, too. "We show up to join you narrators around the Nephew Fred scene, even though we're a pointless and unnecessary distraction."
Calvin shook his head. "Nah, we're canceling the whole thing. It's not like we've never broken the fourth wall or anything."
"We'll split up and alert the cast," sighed Hobbes. "Where's Eddy?"
"The 'Scrooge' number is about to start," said Calvin, "so he'll be coming around that corner."
Charlie Brown: When a cold wind blows it chills you
Chills you to the bone
Linus: But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart
Like years of...
Marcus interrupted. "Stop! Stop the music! You know, I always wanted to say that."
Eddy stormed in, dressed as Scrooge. "What gives?"
"The production's off," reported Jason. "We came to our senses."
"Good," said Schroder, "because 'rouge' doesn't rhyme with 'Eddy.' Neither does 'veal.' What was the point of that, anyway?"
Calvin headed off. "Let's tell everyone else and get back our normal series."
"Right," agreed everyone.