Alright, this is essentially A SPAM CHAPTER

I have writer's block like you wouldn't believe so, to save my sanity and to give you kids something to occupy yourself so you're not bored beyond belief while my genius is currently ripping its hair out and taking its aggression out on Lara Croft by forcing her into taking headers into pits of boiling hot lava and laughing maniacally as she shrieks and gurgles in pain...

Yes. My dad bought Tom Raider: Anniversary – it sucks and handles like a cow in a shopping trolley. For more of my opinion on this game, look up Yahtzee Croshaw's Zero Punctuation via google. You will not be disappointed.

Alright. So these will be extracts from various stories I have already posted. I was planning to put in a few spoilers for up coming chapters before remembering that I'm probably going to rewrite them and thus they would be useless. So, HERE WE GO.

Ebony Sun: Found on Adult Fanfiction. Net. I still go by Araceil there.

(Resident Evil: Extinction/Harry Potter/Chronicles of Riddick threeway crossover – Harry/Riddick)

Riddick is pulling one of his infamous disappearing acts when his ship crash-lands on a desert planet ravaged by the T-virus. At first he believes there to be no life save for shuffling cannibalistic corpses that now hunt him, until he meets Leo (AKA Harry) looking for survivors in the waste lands and just staying ahead of the game.

EXTRACT 1: EBONY SUN CHAPTER ONE

Growing up in England, Harry had very little experience with earthquakes, the first time he experienced on in the states he had, quite literally, pissed himself. No one really noticed though because it was one of the more violent ones and they were too lucky to get out of it alive for anyone to begrudge the young British boy a little urine. Even if no one sat next to him at the camp-fire that night.

But in the years he had been hopping around America he had become intimately familiar with the quakes, even going so far as to immerse himself in the magic around him during one out of sheer curiosity. That's when he learned that quakes were not only caused by the tectonic plates rubbing together but also because of concentrated expulsions of raw magic from the planet's core, that was why various people on earth had magic and there were no records of it growing on other planets. What few Elementals that had returned to the Wizarding society shared their findings before finding the chaos and racism of their home world too distasteful and leaving again.

So when the 21-year-old jerked away as the room around him shook violently, the green eyed male looked around in sleepy confusion before his senses confirmed that no this wasn't an earthquake. It was impact tremors.

Tired, but determined to find out what the fuck was going on, the Gryffindor kicked aside his sheets and began gearing up, pausing briefly to tear a page out of a blood splattered bible and writing 'CLEARED' in large bold red marker across the page to tack to the door outside. It was a ritual of his, whenever he cleared out a place like this of Undead, he would always post a sign so that anyone looking for shelter would know that someone had gone through and cleared it out. But there was always a chance of one wandering in since then so Harry only hoped they were smart enough to remain on guard when venturing inside.

Once outside in the relatively early morning light – damn he must have been really knackered to have slept this long and still be tired – the man swung onto his bike and gunned it, tires kicking up a trail of sand behind him as it moved off in the direction that Harry guessed the impact was from.

The faint, almost unnoticeable, cloud of kicked up sand in the far distance gave him a pretty good clue of where to go.

Unfortunately, a disturbance that big would bring every undead from here to Vegas shuffling over. If there was a survivor, he had to work fast.

He had found Nundu tracks not far from here.

-EXTRACT FIN

Found at: http /hp (dot) adultfanfiction (dot) net/story (dot) php ? no (equals)600015538

Patronus Piercing and Tattoos: Also found on Adult Fanfiction. Net. Under the same name too.

(Harry Potter/xXx Crossover, Evan(Harry)/Xander. It's a series of oneshots both BEFORE the movies and during them.)

EXTRACT 2: PATRONUS PIERCING AND TATTOOS CHAPTER ONE

"Back again." Xander confirmed with a smirk looking him up and down appreciatively as the smaller male smirked cattily and leaned forward against the counter in front of him.

"I'm glad you came actually, I finished that design you asked for last night. A three strike tat on the back of the neck right? You said I could go wild and do what I like as long as you approved it first." He added as if the older man would have forgotten as he ducked and began to rummage around under the counter where he kept his design folders.

As Xander had been a loyal customer since his 22-birthday when he'd staggered in with three of his mates roaring drunk and demanding a tattoo that ended up on his ankle because Evan had convinced him that getting it done on his ass while drunk was a bad idea, he got his own special folder full of designs from tattoos he'd had in the past and random doodles that Evan thought might interest him should he come in looking for something and not quite knowing what again. Evan had produced the majority of the tattoos adorning the older man's body meaning that right now, Evan was the best kept secret in the underground community because the minute that everyone found out he was The Xander Cage's Tat-artist the Patronus would be completely overrun not only with customers but with rapid fans hoping for a glimpse of the athlete. Not to mention the police as well.

"Bingo, let's see it Green eyes. Before I let you have your wicked way with me again." Xander teased, winking at the amused and exasperated set of eyes that popped into being from the counter's edge.

"Sorry baby, but I only want you for your body." Evan quipped before ducking back down and cursing a little as Xander laughed, the little witty banter the two engaged in were also one of the main reasons Xander came in to see the diminutive male. It was fun.

"Got it!" The male crowed happily waving the A3 folder around happily as he bounced back into site and zipped it open, "Right, I was thinking something to do with X's since you tend to spell your name with it instead of the usual Z's that I've seen floating around. These three were the ones that I was thinking about, more specifically this central one here." He explained pointing to the three inked and marker coloured designs on the paper. Xander eyed the three designs appreciatively; Evan knew his stuff that was for certain.

"As you can see I originally had it just blocked in with black with the two red marks on either side but it just didn't look very... well it just wouldn't have suited you. So I decided to just keep it outlined in black with the metallic like shadows – sort of like in the tribal arts you see kicking around now a days – and have these two tucked in a little behind it, the vivid red making the monotone central mark stand out all the more." He explained pointing a delicate seeming finger at the black and red design that Xander found himself admiring earlier.

It was the one he liked the best to be completely honest, he nodded approvingly and unzipped his leather jacket, "Let's do it." He announced boldly tossing both his jacket and his helmet onto one of the waiting sofas causing Evan to laugh and flip the light-switch and turn on the electronic CLOSED sign on the front door.

"Let's."

-EXTRACT FIN

Found at: http /hp (dot) adultfanfiction (dot) net/ story (dot) php ? no (equals) 600015539

Both of those only have the one chapter at the moment, but if you guys are really hurting for something to read I suppose you could mosey down to www (dot) somethingsexy (dot) proboards82 (dot) com where I RP with a few friends.

I go under Selene there and I'm one of the Gryffindor Moderators (And if we didn't have like... three admin already for such a quiet site I would probably be one of them too considering how often I can be found lurking amidst the RP section.)

Be warned. I am mostly a slash writer though – you'll find some pretty graphic scenes in that lot. XDD we're all perverts and its excellent. No touchie the Originals though. –-

Alas, I must bid you adu now. Its quarter past three in the morning, I felt guilty about not posting anything up for a while but have no fear, once I've finished the other chapters this will be deleted.

Araceil