Unresolved Sexual Tension
by P.H. Wise

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer spamfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That would be Mutant Enemy, I think. Please don't sue me.

In the alleyway behind the Bronze, two young women did battle. Both were lovely, and both were possessed of a kind of dangerous grace that scarcely finds its home in humankind, but is instantly recognized for what it is by all who see it: here were two predators.

"I hate you!" Buffy screamed as she leveled a punch into Faith's midsection.

Faith was quick to recover, rolling back to her feet and delivering a roundhouse kick that took Buffy in the temple. "I hate you too," she sneered, moving in to continue her attack. "What else is new, B?"

Buffy ducked underneath Faith's ensuing haymaker and struck her with a savage uppercut to the jaw. "I want you to die, Faith!"

Faith jolted back, and then stepped back from the brawl to recover. As she did so, she produced a large dagger from her leather jacket. "Now we're gettin' somewhere. Ever since I got here, you've been a bitch to me. What's your fucking problem, B?"

Buffy looked deep into Faith's soulful, wounded eyes, and her True Feelings instantly came forth. "My problem is that you're intensely fuckable, and I want nothing more than to strip you naked right here and now and make love to your sweet, sweet body. What's yours?"

Faith stared at Buffy for a long moment. That certainly hadn't been the response she was expecting. Still, if Buffy was being unexpectedly honest, she might as well be the same. "Repressed sexual desire for my sister-Slayer."

"Oh," Buffy said, dropping out of her fighting stance and looking at Faith strangely.

"Right," Faith said, lowering her knife.

The strains of Jack Black singing 'Let's Get It On' began in the background as the two Slayers rushed into each other's embrace and engaged in a rousing game of tonsil-hockey, after which Buffy stripped Faith naked and made love to her sweet, sweet body right there in the alley behind the Bronze.

I've been really tryin', baby
Tryin' to hold back this feelin' for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then come on, oh, come on
Whoo, let's get it on
Ah, babe, let's get it on
Let's love, baby
Let's get it on, sugar
Let's get it on
Whoo-ooh-ooh

And there was much rejoicing.

THE END

Author's notes: Because everybody knows that when two characters hate each other and are always at each other's throats, it's because they secretly want to screw like rabbits. ;D