|Danny Phantom presents: Ignorance is Bliss
Author: Maetch PM
A oneshot set to the song Ignorance is Bliss by Jellyfish.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Vlad M. & Maddie F. - Words: 1,792 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12-15-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3290470
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Danny Phantom presents "Ignorance is Bliss"
Just a quick one-shot set to the music of "Ignorance is Bliss" by Jellyfish. I tried to pace it with the actual song. By the way, if I'm violating anything here, let me know and I'll take it down. From what I understand, the site can be stingy on using musical lyrics.
I don't own Danny Phantom or Jellyfish's work.
The woman was, for lack of a better word, a quite good-looking specimen, with auburn hair and deep blue eyes. Adorning her frame was a pale-blue skintight jumpsuit, which only served to accentuate her well-built body. As the woman sat up in her seat, obviously confused to her surroundings, a single voice spoke.
"It's amazing that a woman such as you could be married to that fat-ass Jack Fenton."
Jumping up with a start, Madeline Fenton ("Maddie" to the more overly familiar) looked around the room, trying to pinpoint the voice's origin. As if on cue, two figures literally appeared from out of thin air.
The first was a tall, middle-aged man who seemed to look a lot older than he really was, though this was due to his pony-tailed hair and beard, both being a natural gray. A fancy, black Armani suit completed his ensemble. Beside him, a woman stood sternly, with an obvious look of disgust on her face. Her red hair was curled upwards, giving her the impression of a devil's horns, and her outfit was that of a short-skirted red business suit, leaving her legs exposed. Calmly, the man spoke again.
"Hello, Maddie. It's nice to see you again."
"Vlad Masters?" Maddie blinked in confusion, then in anger as the recent events came back to her.
She was in Amity Park, she remembered, when she saw Vlad's announcement that he would be running for Mayor again. Naturally, Maddie didn't trust him in the least.
Looking to give Vlad a piece of her mind, she met up with him in Axion Labs, which Vlad had bought out and was now wholly owned by VladCo. What she saw while she was there shocked her to no end.
She saw, before her eyes, Vlad Masters, once an old college friend before becoming a complete slimeball, transform himself into some kind of ghost-like creature. She recognized him as that ghost she once saw during college reunion a couple years ago, which was, ironically, hosted by Vlad. For some reason, he was always attacking her husband. Putting two and two together, Maddie came to understand exactly what it all meant.
Naturally, being a ghost hunter, Maddie was always prepared for a fight, but she wasn't prepared for Vlad's assistant suddenly jumping her and knocking her out cold.
And now, the two of them were standing before her.
"YOU!" Maddie shouted "YOU'RE the Wisconsin Ghost!?"
"Of course, dear." Vlad smirked "Was there ever a doubt?"
It was clear that Maddie was angry, as she suddenly jumped up onto the floor and ran towards Vlad, with the intention of wailing on him. Before she could lay a hand on him, though, the woman suddenly darted forward and struck Maddie down onto the floor. Maddie struggled to get up, but was quickly threatened down by the woman as she formed her arm into a black blade-like appendage.
"Just say the word, sir." She spoke with impatience. From the tone of her voice, she really wanted to run Maddie through, but Vlad merely shook his head.
"The word is not given, Miss Spectra. Stand down." Moaning in disappointment, she retracted the blade and reformed it into her hand. Maddie stood up and spoke.
"You mean to tell me, that all this time, you were the Wisconsin Ghost?"
"Of course, my dear." Vlad replied with a grin.
"Well, that makes sense, considering the fact that you were always targeting Jack. But, why him?"
"Why else? First of all, I wanted to show you that you could do a lot better than that moron you married. Second" Vlad scowled at this "It's because of HIM that I'm like THIS!" And with that, Vlad transformed.
As the black rings encircled his body, his black suit shifted into a white bodysuit, complete with cape. His hair, likewise, shifted into a black hue and altered itself into the devil horn-like design that "Miss Spectra" preferred. The most shocking change, though, was his face as it changed from a healthy peach to a pale blue. As he clenched his teeth, fangs were clearly visible.
"Oh, god!" was all Maddie could say as Vlad Masters-or rather, Vlad Plasmius, completed the transformation. Once the shock wore off, she asked, in a timid voice.
"But, why didn't you tell me?"
"Because, my dear" Vlad spoke, "Ignorance is bliss."
As if on cue, music began playing as three more ghosts appeared. One looked like one of those musicians from that one band from long ago (SMOOCH, or something like that, Maddie thought), with the white skin, only she was female and had blue flames for hair. To her left was something that looked more like a robot than a ghost, with his mechanical body that made him look like some kind of hunter. To her right was a green-skinned ghost in a suit similar to Vlad's, only black and gray, and white hair fashioned into a mullet.
As Vlad's Enforcer trio of Ember, Skulker, and Technus began to play music, Vlad himself started to sing.
Wake up! Miss Fenton.
It's me, your one and only man, Vladdie Masters.
I'm ghostly, as you can see. A little pale, a little mean.
But on the whole I'd say, a sexy bastard.
Maddie tried to back away, but the Enforcers blocked her off as they went into the chorus
Maddie Fenton, I know you're frightened
If you knew just why you're here, your fear would just be heightened.
So let's just say, Vlad spoke, Ignorance is bliss.
Before Maddie could respond, Vlad had grabbed her by the wrish and began to sing into her face.
Now, while hurting you I hate,
I've brought you here to serve as bait,
You know those Phantoms
Oh what's their names?
"Phantoms?" Maddie asked.
Oh yes, Danny Phantom and that dumb clone,
Just hearing them makes me moan,
I'd love to take that thermos, and play my own game...
While she wasn't aware of what he meant by "clone", Maddie did recognize the name "Danny Phantom". He was that one ghost who was in all the papers for being Amity Park's own superhero. "What does Vlad want with him?" she wondered.
Her thoughts were interrupted again as Spectra started to sing.
Maddie Fenton, you're so misguided
I've never been fond of bookworms but then again
This one does make good Phantom bait.
Oh I can't wait. Growled Vlad, Ignorance is bliss!
"What's the point of all this?" yelled Maddie. Vlad kept singing
With my ghostly powers
Over Amity Park I'll tower
Until the whole world submits to my rule.
My only problem that's in sight
Is that Danny's growing in his might
That clone is no slouch either, so I need to kill those Phantom fools.
The chorus then started up again.
Maddie Fenton, you're not so clever,
All your words are alphabet soup,
A picture tells it better.
I'll say it again, finished Vlad, Ignorance is BLISS! Silently, he added.
Haven't you heard? A picture is worth a thousand words.
That was all the opening she needed, as Maddie kicked Vlad away and fled up the nearby stairs.
She kept running all the way up to the roof, only to learn that she had nowhere else to go but down. She was about to turn back when Vlad suddenly phased through the floor in front of her, his entourage following. Softly, Vlad sung again.
You call yourself a ghost hunter,
But you're a braniac in a jumpsuit.
I can't believe you waste time with these books!
Spectra then cut in.
You remind me of my ex-sister
She read so much she got a blister, and then she shouted loudly
A big one, I mean BIG, on her brain - what a shnook!
As Spectra apprehended her, Vlad growled to himself slowly
Just one time with a thermos... I'll fix their soup!
I'd like to get my hands...
Just one time with a thermos...
I'll fix their soup!
As the group went back downstairs, Maddie firmly in tow, the ghost hunter slowly brought her hand down towards a small button on her belt. It was something she had installed into her suit recently, an ectoplasmic pulse that coursed through the suit and delivered a painful shock to any ghosts that got too grabby. However, it burned out after only one use. It hadn't been tested as of yet, and Maddie figured it was time to do so.
With one press, the "Fenton Suit Shocker" (as Jack named it) activated, and gave her captors, Ember and Technus, one hell of a jolt. As confusion struck the group, Maddie took her chance and fled down the stairwell. The Enforcers and Spectra were quick to respond, though, and continued to sing as they kept popping up in front of Maddie to cut off her escape.
Maddie Fenton, I know you're frightened (you're so misguided)
If you knew just why you're here, your fear would just be heightened.
Maddie Fenton, you're not so clever (can't say it better)
All your words are alphabet soup, a picture tells it better.
For the last time! Came Vlad's yell as the Enforcers abruptly stopped singing. Angrily grabbing Maddie, he simply spoke one last time.
On second thought I think I've made my point.
And with that, Vlad used a weak ecto-beam to knock Maddie unconscious. Sighing to himself, Vlad barked his orders.
"Miss Spectra, escort our guest to her quarters, and put her under guard. Enforcers, get to your posts and expect those two brats to show soon."
As the other ghosts left the main room, Vlad transformed back into his human self and began to walk up into his personal quarters.
He had an election to win, and enemies to destroy.