Yes, I’m still alive. :D I hope everyone enjoys this update :D

Don’t Look Back In Anger

“I am not going to speak to him, voice. I’ve already made my decision,” said Amaryllis while fixing her hair. “He has made me angry.”

“Can you not forgive and forget?” The wolf sighed and smoothed the wrinkles out of her shirt.

“No,” she began. “He is a pig and has degraded me. This cannot just get pushed aside, voice. It’s not that simple.” After the feud with Sebastian the other night, Amaryllis found it very hard to think straight. Not to mention the voice that would not leave her alone until she apologized. The vampire started it and the wolf ended it; nothing more or less.

“Fine. Have it your way, Amaryllis. I will say no more on the matter.” The wolf smiled.

“Good. That’s what I like to hear.” Having won the mind battle, Amaryllis opened her door and made her way into the living room. It was dark and had an unusual coldness as she went forward. The bitter, dry air nearly made the wolf cough as she walked passed the dining room and fireplace.

“What in the…?”

“Are you scared of the dark, Amaryllis?” The voice taunted. “Maybe you should get a lantern if you’re afraid.” The wolf rolled her eyes.

“Shut up. I am not afraid of anything,” she countered. “The way the room feels just makes my skin crawl that’s all it is.” Finally reaching the front door, the wolf cautiously departed, relieved she had made it out without being discovered. The next step would be to travel to the canyons. From this point on, Amaryllis had no choice but to train everyday until she was sure Kain could be defeated…or at least put in his place. And yet, the wolf had no idea what the outcome would be.

“I said enough! The only reason I keep you alive is because I took you in as a very young child. I would go back on my word if I dispatched you now.” That was painful to hear. “Why must you be so arrogant? You think a few exercises will be enough for you to even harm me?” That was very heartbreaking, considering how easily Kain had grabbed her by the throat. “How dare you even think you have what it takes to challenge me? The idea itself is pathetic. You can’t even control your own powers yet.” Amaryllis clenched her hands in anger at the memories of her degradation. How was it that Kain seemed to think she was little and helpless? Could it be because in his eyes, Amaryllis was only a child that was capable of nothing?

“I’ll control my powers soon enough. Until then, enjoy the days you have left to live.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sebastian lay wide-awake in his bed, staring off into space at the ceiling. He didn’t sleep much the previous night. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fight between him and Amaryllis. Sure it wasn’t something to dwell on, but the girl had left her mark on him.

“I mean that if you love me, this will not end in one night.” Sebastian had no idea what to make of this. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding, he thought. How could anyone love me? He shook his head in doubt.

“No one can,” he whispered and rolled over on his side. The vampire needed to speak with Amaryllis, urgently. He had to clear up all the misunderstandings and set things right. The thought of not speaking to the wolf would destroy whatever good was left in him; the silence would be deafening. He scrambled out of his bed, much too fast for his own good, and tripped over the rug on the floor.

“Ugh,” he replied, applying pressure to the pain on his head. Once on his feet again, Sebastian rushed down the hallway and stairs, stopping in front of Amaryllis’ door. He took a deep breath and gave a few knocks.

“Amaryllis?” There was no answer. Sebastian bit his lip and knocked again. “Amaryllis, are you there?” Again, there was no answer. “Alright I’m coming in.” The door was opened slowly. The vampire peeked inside hoping to find the wolf within, sleeping soundly. To his uttermost surprise, she was not there. He cursed under his breath and left the room.

“Training, no doubt,” he whispered. As much as it hurt him, he wasn’t shocked to find her gone. In fact, she probably wanted to avoid any confrontation as much as possible. The vampire slumped into a chair in the living room. He put a hand to his chin, as if deep in thought, and sighed.

“I’ll just wait. She’ll come home eventually.” He looked out his window, observing how early it was in the day. “I just hope she doesn’t come home too late.”

5 hours later…

“You’re a pathetic creature, girl,” said Nightwing. “You couldn’t lift me to save your life.” Amaryllis sat on the ground, trying desperately to catch her breath.

“Be…be silent…stupid, stupid sword.” The sword chuckled in reply. The wolf rose to her feet and tried to lift the blade once more. She took hold of the hilt for a good 5 seconds, and then dropped it like it weighed a ton. “But…why?”

“Honestly, do you really think that you can wield me with those arms? Ha! Unless you can build up your strength you will never be able to use me in battle.” Amaryllis growled.

“My body is fit, just look at my stomach.” The sword let out another chuckle.

“What does that matter? You’re not going to lift me with your stomach.” The wolf crossed her arms.

“How then…what am I supposed to do?”

“Plenty of upper body exercises, of course. What? Did you think that I was going to cast a spell on you so that you wouldn’t have to do the work? Ha! Foolish little girl.”

“You see, Amaryllis? I’m not the only one who thinks you’re foolish.”

“Shut up in there,” she growled at the voice, tapping the side of her head. “This does not concern you.”

“Well considering that I agree with Nightwing, I believe it does.” Amaryllis clenched her fists together in frustration.

“That’s it, I’m finished for today. I need to go clean up and eat.” Nightwing narrowed its eye.

“Already? I thought you had more will power than that, girl. You’ve disappointed me.” Amaryllis shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m tired! I haven’t had any food and I can’t work on an empty stomach. Besides…I have to go through physical conditioning before I can wield you anyhow.”

“Am I free to leave then?” The wolf rolled her eyes.

“Yes.” The sword closed its eye and disappeared within a cloud of black smoke without as much as a goodbye. “I will never understand that stupid sword, voice. He acts like you, except he’s more…insulting.”

“I feel honored being compared to a blade with one eye,” it replied sarcastically.

“Well…technically it’s more than you have. In fact, you don’t have any. And seeing through mine does not count because…they’re mine.” A low growl emerged from within the wolf’s stomach. “I need food.”

“You’re always eating, girl. You’re going to end up getting very fat. And when that happens, you’ll never hear the end of it.” Amaryllis frowned and began walking towards home.

“I refuse to let myself go, voice. I will always maintain a healthy body.” She smirked. “I hope that knowledge comforts you.”

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Sebastian slicked his hair back with his pale fingers and took a deep breath, looking over his reflection in the mirror. It disappointed him. His flesh had turned even paler as the hours went by. Dark circles had formed under his eyes and his body had gotten weaker for reasons unknown. Of course, he had not fed all day. And so, the vampire concluded that it must be hunger and the need for sleep. Today was not a day to move about. In fact, the vampire never left his quarters. Instead of traveling outside the industrial areas to the more luxurious parts of Nosgoth, like Provance, Sebastian had decided it would be best to remain at home. For the most part, he actually enjoyed the peace and quiet and not having to worry about the Sarafan contacting him for an assignment.

Sebastian gave a nod when his hair was in place and sat in his previous chair. He began twiddling his thumbs nervously and tapping his foot on the floor. Before he knew it, the vampire caught himself and put a hand on his knee to calm his nerves. This is ridiculous, he thought. And it was. All he had to do was apologize to Amaryllis for being such a bastard the other night.

“What if she silences me this time?” he asked himself and then chuckled at the thought. “Nonsense.” Much to the vamprie’s surprise, Amaryllis walked through the front door, earlier than 

expected. Sebastian stood up and placed his hands on his hips, trying to maintain his composure. Any smiles or frowns from before were erased from his face, and had been replaced with nothing. Not even his lips produced the slight curve of a grin or a smirk; his lips were motionless. The wolf attempted to take a step towards her room but stopped when she saw Sebastian.

“Aren’t you supposed to be humping someone right about now?” she asked questionably. The vampire raised his brow, but his expression remained the same.

“No. Should I be?” The wolf was surprised that his reply was not insulting or hadn’t caused him to get angry. She gave a shrug.

“I don’t know. I just assumed. I wouldn’t want to intrude on anything.” She gave a long yawn and stretched her arms above her head.

“You were training?” Amaryllis gave a sigh. It can’t be that obvious, she thought. I mean I’m only covered in dirt and sweating like a pig.

“Yes,” she simply replied. “In fact I should be getting some extra clothes so I can bathe. If you don’t mind…” Sebastian blocked her way and folded his arms. “Please, not this again,” she whined.

“We need to talk.”

“Grr. Right now?”

“Yes.” Amaryllis sighed and took a seat on the carpet, not wanting to dirty the couches. Sebastian just sat in one of the fireplace chairs and turned it so he faced the wolf.

“Look, Amaryllis. About yesterday…I didn’t mean to become angry with you or try to force sex upon you. I was a little upset because you…well, saw me and that woman. I know you stumbled upon me by accident, but you also did break the rules of entering the second floor. And if you obeyed those 

rules, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Amaryllis nodded, but didn’t shun the fact that this was not all her fault. “Aside from that little incident, I just wanted to apologize to you for…” Sebastian paused momentarily and scratched the back of his neck. “Insulting you, embarrassing you, belittling you…I mean, I don’t know why I said all those things, Amaryllis, but I can assure you that none of them are true.”

“I see. I suppose I’m sorry as well. I shouldn’t have broken the rules or called you names. It was very immature of me.” Sebastian chuckled and gave a small nod.

“Alright. That seems fair.” There was a long silence between the two and Amaryllis began to feel a hot rush on her cheeks.

“Well, is it safe to say that we are done here?” Sebastian rose from his seat and smiled.

“Yes, of course. As long as we see our mistakes and are sorry for them, that is.” The wolf nodded and proceeded to get clothes out of her room. When she left the room, Sebastian let out a big sigh. What a relief that was. Fortunately for him, things went smoother than planned. Now all that burdened him was lifted and Sebastian never felt more relaxed. He was glad that Amaryllis paid attention to what he had to say, and that there were no arguments or disagreements. But there was that love thing the wolf said the previous night that had not been discussed yet.

Amaryllis opened her door and returned with what seemed to be clothes in her arms.

“I’m going to bathe now, Sebastian. I shouldn’t be long.” Just before the wolf departed, the vampire snatched her wrist. Amaryllis looked at her wrist and back at Sebastian.

“Wait, please. There’s…something I need to ask you.” He looked up at her with pleading eyes and she could tell it was something important. The vampire eyes seemed as if they were trying to scream out whatever Sebastian was planning to say.

“What is it?” Amaryllis asked, kneeling in front of Sebastian. He released her arm and sighed.

“You said something to me the other night that I really hadn’t thought about until this morning. I want you to tell me if it was true.” Amaryllis cocked her head in a puzzled way.

“Uh…can you refresh my memory? I don’t recall saying anything meaningful,” she replied coyly.

“You said something similar to…that if I loved you it wouldn’t end in one night. I think that’s what you said, somewhere along the lines,” Sebastian said, placing a hand to his head. Amaryllis went stiff. He actually remembered that?

“Oh…oh that! Um…well…perhaps you misunderstood. I mean after all you did say that you didn’t love me, right? So I meant to say…uh…” Amaryllis was lost at words. She tried to think of what to say without actually confessing. Sebastian put a finger to her mouth, and leaned closer.

“Do you love me?” The vampire removed his finger from the wolf’s mouth so that he could get an answer.

“Well…I…um…I mean of course I love you. You’ve taken care of me all these years-

“No,” he said abruptly. “I mean are you in love with me?”

“Uh…well you know you’re a very nice person, right? And you know that I would do anything for you right?” Sebastian sighed in frustration.

“Look, Amaryllis. I need to know if you have feelings for me. I can’t carry on with everyday life unless I know now. So I will ask you again. Are you in love with me?” Amaryllis swallowed and wished there was someway this conversation would end, or at least get postponed. It’s now or never, she thought. She took deep breath.

“Yes,” she whispered. Sebastian seemed baffled by her answer and leaned back into his chair. Amaryllis didn’t know what to make of his reaction, but she really didn’t want to stay and see the results. “I’m going to bathe, now.” With that said the wolf rose from her position and exited through the front door. The vampire put a hand to his chin in thought, confused and unsure about how to handle what he’d just heard.

“Yes.” He repeated Amaryllis’ word, and each time it felt good. His heart leapt in his chest with joy. And for the first time in his entire life, Sebastian felt loved. Yet in spite of this, Amaryllis was very young compared to the vampire. So what was he to do? Nowadays it was common to see an older man with a younger girl, but it just didn’t seem right to Sebastian. There was nothing wrong with having a relationship with Amaryllis, but he wondered what people would say, what reactions they would give, even thought they didn’t really matter anyway. Not to mention what her Kain and her brothers would do if they found out. Sebastian shook his head. He didn’t care, and was positive Amaryllis wouldn’t either.

“But do I tell her my feelings or wait until she is older?” Things could either turn out better or worse depending on his decision. He could forget the matter altogether and pretend it never happened, or he could come out with his feelings and see where life goes from there. The vampire had to make a call soon before the coin hit the floor. If he waited too long, someone else might steal her heart and in turn crush his own. But if he did tell her, she probably wouldn’t know what it took to be in a relationship; things would fall apart.

And so, Sebastian sat there, deep in thought, wondering what to do…

Ok!! That’s the end of this chapter. I know, I know, it seems like a filler. I guess in a way it is and then isn’t. Whichever way you look at it is up to you. My apologies for updating very late. I haven’t been well lately. I’ll skip the details. Haha. So, what should Sebastian decide?? Let me know if you review, it would be appreciated. Thanks :D Lil V. p.s. any suggestions or requests on the other stories are well appreciated as well :D