Typing Percy Jackson Fanfiction

Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain. Lol. How do I write chapter?

“I’m tired of arguing about this.” I said numbly, glaring at Thalia. “Rap is not that bad! Sometimes it works much better for a certain verse or song structure than traditional rock vocal s will!

“Lair!” yelled Thalia. “You should burn in hell for that insult to the very essence of music you filthy lair!”

“Don’t you mean rot in Tartutus or get my eyes gouged out be crows or something?” I asked.

“You should do all three!” said Thalia, sparks seemingly forming in her eyes are her rage mounted or, damn. I suck at prose. And the general rules of the English language.

“ So what about Linkin Park?” I demanded. “Or early Red Hot Chilli Peppers? Or even Korn?”

“ Eat spear and die!” yelled Thalia and lunged at me with her spear.

“I won’t!” I yelled, drawing out Riptide and slashing back at her spear, which she pulled up sharply.

“Hello, fair children.” said a short red headed guy. He was smiling worriedly. “Can you please pause in the fighting? It just has such, such, energy and colour, especially the part where she shoots sparks at you.”

“ Hey, if you lived in modern times, would you have composed classically music, rap or rock?” asked Thalia.

“I believe I would have done neither.’ said the man, giving a half smile. “You see I’m more of a painter of sorts.”

“Ah, so you would probably have done some of Iron Maiden’s cover art right? Or maybe cool band t-shirts?” I asked. This may be time to try and figure out who this guy is, but what the hell. Then I noticed something. Me and Thalia noticed something. The guy’s lack of ear.

“ What happened to your ear?” asked Thalia.

“Yeah, what ‘appened over ear?” I asked, giving a lopsided grin.

“ Ah. Well, you see, I was polyjuiced to look like Harry Potter in an attempt to get him to the burrow safely when Snape blew my bloody ear off. It stung like hell. I would’ve given him and earful if I got the chance, I don’t mind telling you.” said the guy.

“So, how are you?” I asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” asked Thalia, giving me a sneer. “He’s Captain Carrot! That’s why he’s not currently being the king of Ankh Morpork.”

“Actually I’m HeapHsteus, god of the forge and fire.” said the guy with a sad grin. And by that I mean Hefesteus.

“ Yeah right.” said Thalia. “If you Heapthseus then I’m not him.”

“ Wait, so now you’re the god Hepfsteus?” I asked. Unfair! I wanna be a god!

“ No, I am the goddess Heapthlseus.” said Thalia. “That is how I are.”

“MOTA!” yelled Hefguseds.

I stared at Thalia. She stared right back. “Korn still owns Trivium.” I said.

“No they don’t!” yelled Thalia and we went straight back to arguing.

In the school of Percy Jackson Fanfiction:

“Okay, who can tell me what was wrong with that?” asked theleafylord, smilingly benignly down at his students. This was due to the fact that, after trying to do sit ups, a kelpie jumped on his chest and started biting him and he was forced to duck tape his legs to the ceiling to prevent his imminent death by kelpie bite wounds.

“ Well.” began HenryG.M.an . “For one thing, early Red Hot Chili peppers were funk, not rap, although the lyrical structure and melodies were similar to rap, the song structure were fairly different to the lack of so called “beats” and the increasingly brilliant bass playing by Flea, and the then, when John joined the band on guitar, a more melodic guitar which is rarely if ever found on rap tracks, with the exception of “rap metal bands”, but they also use a different style, more similar to Thrash or Punk guitar, rather than the Funk and classically driven style of the Peppers.”

“ Yeah, and Korn doesn’t own Trivium.” said The Celtic Amazon. “And you pronounced both names wrong.”

“I think that about covers it.” said theleafylord. “Bang up job if I say so myself. Very accurate and well controlled.”

“I think you spelt Hephsteuas wrong though.” said Physco girl. Her eyes scanned the page. “Every single time.” She looked up. “Why on earth did you think there’s a g in Hepsteus? Or and an l?”

“And why isn’t it a l?” said theleafylord. “Why is it an l? Like all history, we’ll never know.”

“ I’m not sure about that.” said Firemasterytjy. “I just have one problem right. Does bad spelling and grammar automatically mean the story sucks? Does it somehow worsen any and all other content of said story?”

“And why is acting like a 12 year old on a fanfic base devoted to a children’s book a bad thing?” asked Hert.2the. Likehell.

“If I can’t remember my age, I don’t think you’re allowed to tell me to act it.” said theleafylord.

“Something else though.” said Madster “Wasn’t Picasso the guy who did the Iron maiden cover art?”

“ No.” said Rainbow Droplets. “That was Charles Du Gaulle.”

“I loved the pictures on mark of the beast.” said theleafylord with a faraway look in his eyes. “So pretty. Anyway, Madster, I think you may have misread the last part, as Percy was asking them weather or not he would’ve wanted to do the Iron maiden pictures, not that he actually did them. Anyway, lets move on to the next chapter.”

Welcome to bold type face.

“Percy, we’ve been dating for about a day now….” began Annabeth, and I began panicking. Oh god(Hermes) she’s going to tell me to start dressing up! Or worse, expect me to come into physical contact with her body. No!

“ I love you!” I yelled. “Just please don’t touch me!”

‘What?” asked Annabeth with a look of concern on her face.

“ No! stay back!” I yelled, rolling though the ground into a chair. I needed time to think. This is just to damn nerve wrecking.

“ Percy, I’ve been thinking about us….” began Annabeth again, and she actually looked bit sad

“No!” I yelled. “I don’t know what you’re expecting! I don’t do romanticism! I just do me!” I yelled, praying( again, to Hermes) that she didn’t figure out how weird that sounded.

“It’s not you….” she began.

“Oh my god!(Posedion)” I yelled. ‘You’re just using me to get Luke jealous! You’re using me and my deliciously hot body and inexhaustible charisma to make him jealous because you’re still in love with him after all the awful things he’s done to you! Never mind that he’s tortured you, almost killed me and has just about doomed every fucking living person on the planet, I’m sure he’s not a bad person! He’s just misunderstood!”

“ Thank you Percy!” said Annabeth, tears sparkling in her eyes. “You’re the only other person who sees it that way!”

“ Dear god(Ares).” I said. “Okay this is fucked up. Let me get a chappie.”

“ How do you pronounce the brackets?” asked Annabeth, still looking at me like I was the only person who really understood her.

“ Never mind that.” I said. Have a chappie.” Damn, I hoped this works, or it’s the last time I take Grover’s advice. You might be asking yourself how I got a brand of bubblegum made only in South Africa. You may also have noticed the Rugby World cup has began.

“Oh they have these little did you knows written in them.” said Annabeth. “Did you know twenty eight, I’m breaking up with you.” She looked up at me. “Why is this written in green ink?”

“ Because I wrote it as a gently way of breaking up with you?” I said.

“Percy, you can’t think of an even slightly better way of breaking up with me?” asked Annabeth.

“Well, yeah, but I had a chappie and a felt tip pen and it sort of just came together very quickly.” I said.

Annabeth stared at me. I got kinda nervous and started fidgeting. “Can I have the gum though? That was my last one.” I asked. Which was in retrospect, a bad move. Thankfully she still partially liked me, because she pulled the knife up just before impact.

Meanwhile, back in the school of Portable Computer instillation and bad friction……

“ Was that supposed to be humour, romance or poetry?” asked Rainbow Droplets.

“Neither. It was poetry.” Said theleafylord.

“Don’t you think they were just a bit out of character? And that Annabeth should’ve mentioned she thought Luke was under Kronos’ spell?” came a voice from the rafters.

“Shut up you evil rafter lurking freak.” said theleafylord.

“What?” asked the evil rafter lurking freak. “This is the first time I’ve done it.”

“There is just one problem in your general freakish lurking in Hogwarts’ rafters. Hogwarts doesn’t have rafters.” said theleafylord. “Explain that, if you would be so good you rafter clinging scum.”

“Hey, I can see my house from up here.” said the rafter clinging scum.

“That’s it!” yelled theleafylord. “We’ll ignore that too. Anyway, any problems with the fic that doesn’t come from idiotic rafter hugging uh, scum.”

“You used scum twice.” said Madster.

“Not really. Though you used brackets a lot.” said Physco girl.

“Alright, time for the final short story…..” said theleafylord, not giving a pause effect, but actually pronouncing those little dot thingies in some weird, weird way.

The master and the talented amateur……..

I’m not the best hero there ever was. Not by a long shot. In fact, heroics probably come to me due to there not being a better alternative.

And then you start to wonder, are we really heroes? We don’t save people, not really. We just save other “heroes.” We don’t help people, our presence endangers them. And the funny thing is this, we still clutch on to our old swords, our old weapons, in a futile attempt to keep darkness and death at bay. A darkness and death that only comes for us. You really have to wonder about these things. And at the moment, I also have to worry about the Griffin that’s trying to rip out my throat.

“ Give it up Percy!” said Luke, laughing as the thing attempted to gouge at my eyes.

I didn’t bother to answer. Opening my mouth was not going to be a smart move. I swung Riptide at its wing and it smiled grimly as it caused an explosion of feathers. My smile faded slightly as it screeched and I realised something. I didn’t wound it. I just made it even angrier.

“ You can ‘t win this Percy!” said Luke, and there was an uncertain edge to his voice. “Give it up! Submit to my rules and you might not just have a future, but be part of a glorious one!” I would have felt a bit better if the I didn’t know that the uncertainty was caused by his fear that I might die, and not by his fear that I might win this.

Fuck him and his rules. In fact, I won’t even think before I break his stupid rules. The griffin swept back at me. The rest of the crew of the Princess Andromeda veered away slightly, as they also probably didn’t desire to become bird food. Or horse chow. Considering the things beak it could be both.

I didn’t know how to handle this. I was already tired, and the thing just wasn’t dying. And it’s very hard to fight an opponent who can fly away from you and choose exactly when it wants to attack. Luke, being the bastard who he was, even drained his damn pool. We were currently fighting outside of his house, after I followed him and his warriors here after they left the ship. Turns out not calling back up was a rather ill fated decision. The griffin shot down at me again, this time ripping the sword out of my hands and slashing my side open.

“I think that’s enough.” said Luke. “Ready to admit defeat?”

Now here’s a choice. Be a “hero” and die, or live a life of perpetual servitude to this guy. And it’s times like these you realise what makes us heroes. Not saving ourselves from other, but saving other from themselves. Because when one single hero, like Luke, suddenly decides that he doesn’t have to listen, that he isn’t a hero, that’s when you need heroes. You need heroes to save you from other heroes, who made a different choice, or just see the world a bit differently .

I picked Riptide and stood. The griffin cawed, almost mockingly and flew at me. I don’t know where it came from. It was just that some part of me yelled “swing!” and I did, and there was more than an explosion of feather and horse hair. There was a freaking nuclear assault of horse hair and feathers. And the griffin fell to the ground, not alive anymore. It started to crumble.

The guards or crew or whatever stopped to stare, and I knew this was it. When you come out swinging, doing but things so other people can’t. Before they knew what was happening I “took care” of three of the guards. The rest weren’t sticking around after that. I had a nasty feeling Luke ordered them not to hurt me, and they were a bit more afraid of him than then they were of me.

“Very well.” said Luke, and drew out his sword, Backbiter. “You are a talented amateur, but I’m a master at what I do.” But he sucks at prose. Or whatever.

“ Yeah. But that’s how you become a master of this kind of thing isn’t it?” I asked, trying to get a better grip on my sword. “Killing the old master?”

“Of course.” said Luke. “Let’s see how good you are!” And then it started. A fight, where I’m fighting to kill, and he’s laughing at me, avoiding my sword by inches and acting like it’s a mile away. It wasn’t the kind of fight you win. And then at last my sword fell limply at my side. I starred up at him.

“Ah. So you’re admitting defeat then?” asked Luke, looking as though he had gone through some light exercise, not about thirty random murder attempts.

“No. I’m admitting that you’re better than me.” I said. And slashed with everything I had left. He laughed as it was deflected.

“Percy, think of your future.” said Luke. “It can two ways. But in one, it’s only ten minutes long.”

“ So is yours!” I yelled and slashed kicked at the same time. It turned into a sort of ahnd to hand fight, with both our swords lying on the floor. Until I grabbe Riptide, Luke got himself to his knees. He almost got his sword. He almost stood up too, but my sword was pressing against his neck.

“So.” said Luke. “Not a very honourable victory. You had to resort to dirty fighting. And now, now what happens? You’re the hero here, you can’t kill me in cold blood. And of course I got you surrounded by guards who will cut you to pieces quite easily, not that they have my permission. And you also.” he said, almost caressing the word with his tongue. “Have a way out. Just submit Percy. Work against the gods, and help me build a new future, a better one!”

There were two ways to do this. The heroic way, and the right way. I lifted the sword off his neck and watched as Luke started grin. I then swung the sword as hard as I could. His expression had almost enough time to change to surprised.

Author Notes: If you can geuss what prompted this chapter, you might want to duck low whenever you walk pass rafters. In anycase, I have started on the next chapter of Deadly Alliance, and am currently rewriting the first few chapters of Fall of the Sea god, with paragraph breaks and what not. In any cause, hope you enjoyed this collection of short stories.