Disclaimer: I do not own McDonalds or Batman or, you know, anything worthwhile really.

DemonicSymphony: Isn't it nice how there's no power of internal monologue on fanfic net? -Scurries off to take out the real deal-

yodeladyhoo: Does it really matter? I mean, really? I got the point across. Everybody understood what I meant. Only the extreme OCDs even noticed and, of them, only you commented on it. Sheesh, move on with your life.

Anij: Pfft, I don't make them do anything. If I had any control, this thing would have been over six chapters ago.

notwritten: ...I can't stay mad at you. -teary- I love you!

oh-you-pretty-things: Articulate.

Hakkai Ottaku: Holy Caps Lock, Batman! (Or should I say, Caps Lock Tra La La?) Who do you think you are to order me around. Just for that, I'll never post the last chapter!!

...oh yeah. Dang.

MartiOwlsten: They were going to come out with Jareth postage stamps- but he wouldn't let them. They weren't big enough to show off the gloriousness that was him. Instead, he insisted they immortalize him 'With the rest of those famous blokes, what are their names?' on Mount Rushmore.

Skyrere: If you forget to breath and turn all blue and... dead... it's not my fault!

Avalon's mists: I'm sorry. I don't speak Swahili.

clickityclackupsidethehead: You actually prefer Jareth dead? Well that's a first. Beware the mob of fangirls that is certain to come after you for that comment. It won't be 'purty'.

Nothing Tra La La

Danika Lareyna

Chapter Thirteen

The Climactic Conclusion

This was it. It had finally come. The end. There was only one thing left to do.

Danika, evil authoress extraordinaire, threw back her head and cackled; a maniacal, shrieking laugh that would chill the bones.

The other customers at the McDonald's looked very uncomfortable at the clearly insane woman, giggling maliciously into her Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit.

xXx

This was it. It had finally come. The end. There was only one thing left to do.

The real Goblin King, tensed as he stared into his glowing crystal. Soon, he would take his revenge. At the rate the foul woman was going, there was no way she could pull herself out in time to save her hide.

Jareth indulged himself in his own low, malevolent chuckle.

Needless to say, he pulled it off much better than Danika.

xXx

This was it. It had finally come. The end. There was only one thing left to do.

With a petulant frown, Jareth headed into the light. He really had not expected this, all things considered. After all, to the best of his knowledge he was supposed to be practically immortal. A little bump on the head definitely should not have been able to kill him. It was, loathe though he was to admit it, not fair.

"Oh Jareth! I love you!"

Surprised, his eyes popped open and he exclaimed, "You do?"

Sarah squealed and tumbled backwards, knocking her chair over and rolling to a heap by the gray-green hospital wall. Jareth supposed that he should have been startled by this, but, in all honesty, he had grown accustomed to the girl's theatrics. He even found them rather endearing, in an annoying sort of way. At that particular moment, he was more taken aback by the fact that he had a pulse.

"Jareth!" Sarah gasped from her inelegant place on the floor, "You're alive!"

"So it would seem," he said, raising a gloved hand and examining it minutely. Considerate of the nurses to have a pair of gloves made up in the same colorless material as the hospital gown.

The young woman shakily rose to her feet and righted her chair. Her face was flaming crimson. "You heard what I said, then?" she asked, her voice soft.

He frowned, shifting his focus to her blushing face. He remembered a bright light, a lot of pent-up frustration and an angelic voice, calling to him. Suddenly, it hit him.

"Sarah," Jareth exclaimed, sitting up. Internally, he congratulated himself on accomplishing such a task so soon after dying but he pushed that thought aside as he reached out to clasp the girl's hands. "I heard you," he said, his voice going husky and intense. "Sarah, you called me back from the void. You saved my life. My precious, pulchritudinous Sarah, I love you too."

Her wide eyes sparkling with joyful tears, Sarah whispered, "Then you aren't mad at me for killing you in the first place?"

Jareth's brows drew down in confusion.

Sarah choked. "I mean... uh..." Frantically, she threw herself at him, her lips meeting his desperately. Jareth would have liked to have gone into a bit more detail about that last comment, but Sarah's weight, pressing him back into the uncomfortable hospital bed, and her warm lips crushed to his own, convinced him to let it go- for the time being. With a satisfied purr, Jareth wrapped his arms around her, holding her petite frame close.

Suddenly, the door slammed open. Sarah squealed and ended up in a pile on the floor- again.

"Jareth!" the red-headed woman exclaimed, rushing into the room, "Thank heavens you're alive!"

"Fifi!" Jareth and Sarah cried, at the same time. Startled, the two exchanged a glance.

"How do you know my best friend?" Sarah demanded, glowering furiously.

"How do you know my sister?" Jareth replied, returning her glower and then some.

"Sister?!"

"Like, that doesn't matter," Fifi said urgently, taking Jareth's hand. Sarah felt a pang of jealousy and vaguely considered disemboweling the pretty girl, sister and best friend or not. "This is, like, way important," Fifi continued. "Jareth, you won't believe what happened!"

"What happened?" Jareth and Sarah exclaimed, at the same time.

"Um, ok. You two have to stop doing that," Fifi said, blinking wide, amethyst eyes at the both of them. Shaking her head, she got back on the subject. "You kissed your true love! That means that the curse on the Goblin Kingdom has been broken!"

Jareth frowned, "There was a curse on the Goblin Kingdom?"

Fifi nodded, "Yeah, remember? About two and a half trillion years ago you pissed off an evil sorceress by using the wrong fork at her dinner party and, in retribution, she put a curse over your entire kingdom that would remain until you kissed your true love for the first time."

"Wait a minute," Sarah exclaimed, "She put a curse on everyone because he used the wrong fork?"

"Well, to be fair, he used it to stab her fiancé in the eye. The guy had mocked Jareth's tight pants."

"I do enjoy the tight pants," Jareth interjected and then, feeling as if he had been sorely neglecting his catch phrase, he tacked on a half-hearted, "Tight pants, tra la la."

Sarah rolled her eyes, but Fifi did not seem to be paying attention. Giddily, she continued, "Now all of the goblins have been transformed back into pretty, pretty elves and the monsters have returned to unicorns and sparkly pegasi, and that annoying dwarf, Hoggle, changed back into the Princess of the Happy Dancing Fairies!"

Jareth smirked, "Ah yes. Now I remember. Hedgewart was always the happiest and dancingest fairy of them all." He turned his gaze to Sarah, who finally remembered to get up off the floor. "What do you say, my love? Will you return to my perfect, beautiful, magical kingdom, to rule by my side for all time as the Goblin Queen- even though there aren't actually any goblins anymore?"

Clasping her hands to her heart, Sarah sighed, "Yes, Jareth. As long as you love me, I will follow you anywhere!"

Feeling that this called for a really dramatic, romantic moment, Jareth held his arms open to Sarah, who fell into them and they kissed passionately. Destiny had finally brought the fated lovers together. Life was, for that single moment, perfect and beautiful.

"Ew," Fifi said, "Get a room."

THE END

xXx

Jareth blinked.

The end? How could that be the end? First off, it made absolutely no sense. Secondly, the dratted writer had ended with her Jareth in a relatively positive position. He had not died. He had returned to being king. She had even made some changes to the kingdom that probably would not be all that horrible to consider. Pretty, pretty elves probably harried the chickens much less than goblins.

Frowning, Jareth cupped his chin in his hand. What to do? Part of him still wanted to make the girl play a one-person game of 'Which Cupcake is the Dynamite in?', but could he really justify it? Smacking his fist into his palm, he decided that the only option was to wait. He would let her readers decide. If they approved of the story, he would be lenient. If they, like he, felt she deserved a Bog-bath, so be it. He would give it one week and then Danika's fate would be decided.

xXx

Shameless Self-Promotion

You heard the man (kinda). My fate rests solely in your hands. Should Jareth dismember, disembowel and... uh... disambiguate me? (Like that could ever happen) Or should he take me to his Labyrinth and make me his queen? (A girl can dream) Review and let him know. You have one week from today. If you're the type that never reviews, now is the time to crawl out from under your rock.

Oh, and by the way... Have I told you lately that I think you're very um... fragrant? And I mean that in the nicest possible way. -bats eyelashes-