What If I Told You

She looked so different now.

Her hair was dyed a brighter blonde, her split ends were gone, her hair was a few inches shorter…the humidity was gone, so it was straighter. She wasn’t as toned anymore. She was wearing a knee-length pencil skirt instead of the typical tank top and cargos with a belt because she kept losing weight or because the previous owner of the pants was larger than her. She was actually wearing clothes that belonged to her. Clothes that fit her. She was wearing her hair in different styles instead of a messy ponytail. She had cute slip-on shoes instead of big clunky hiking boots. She was wearing make-up again, and nail polish. She had a car instead of a path to walk on when she needed to go somewhere. She had a flat instead of some underground hatch-apartment-bunker thing from the seventies. She had a toilet and a shower instead of some rusty faucet contraption that smelled like sulfur and always was cold when she used it because someone else had used all the warmer water. She also had an engagement ring on her finger.

She was herself again.

But in a way, she missed it all. She didn’t miss how scary it was there, but she did miss not caring most days. She missed not caring how she looked, because everyone else looked like they had just rolled out of a steam room.

Today was definitely one of those days when she wished she didn’t have a mirror.

Ever since they got away from the island, she became suddenly aware of how she looked around him. He had never looked horrible, but he suddenly became very well groomed. He lost the beard, trimmed his hair, started wearing clean clothes.

She had been still stuck in some kind of limbo. Until today, she had been wearing jeans, cargos and tank tops. She hadn’t even really looked in her closet. She wore her hair in a messy bun all the time and walked around bare foot, which had been a huge pet peeve of hers before the island…she had to always have socks on. She even kept eating bananas and other fruit. One day Charlie had come home with frozen fries, burgers and chips. She had looked through the grocery bags, at him, back down at the bags and said: “Where’s the fruit? Did you get any fruit?”

Charlie had a good laugh at her, but she didn’t find it too funny. In the end, he had to go back and get her what she wanted.

Today they were attempting to eat a real meal and look like real people. Aaron had been sleeping, and she didn’t think he’d be waking anytime soon. With her pencil skirt she was wearing a lavender blouse. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. She looked good. But she missed the days when it just didn’t matter.

She went out into the dining area of their apartment. She gasped a little and stepped right back behind the wall she had just came out from behind when she saw how Charlie had set everything up.

All that was on the table was a bunch of bananas, milk, most likely from coconuts, and a couple mangos. Charlie was dressed in his old island wardrobe…slip-on, muddy Vans, his old ripped up jeans, a random t-shirt…the only thing that was different was his hair.

“I didn’t think you would actually do it!” he laughed, pulling her out so he could see her. “I didn’t want to waste my time dressing up if you weren’t even going to.”

“Are you making fun of me, Charlie?” she asked, laughing into his chest.

“Just a bit,” he grinned, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head. She smiled up at him.

“I feel like an idiot for being so dressed up.”

“Well, you should!” he teased. She scowled at him and he laughed. “I’m kidding. You look amazing. You’re beautiful.”

“You never told me that back on the island.”

“That’s because either it would have been embarrassing to do so or you would’ve sent Locke after me.”

“What about after all the awkwardness and the whole anger-bodyguard-Locke situation? If you don’t remember, I kissed you.”

“And then we started all over back at the awkwardness stage. Besides, that wasn’t a real kiss. What was that? A little peck. You might as well of kissed me on the cheek.” He smiled at her teasingly.

“I’d already done that. Figured I’d take it to the next level. Besides, your lips were all chapped. And don’t you forget that it was awkward for me too,” she said, hitting him playfully.

Charlie smiled. “I wanted to tell you that you were beautiful so many times.”

“I would’ve liked that.” She smiled and gave him a light butterfly kiss on the side of his neck.

“If I remember right, you never told me I was breathtakingly handsome, either.”

Claire erupted into giggles. “Oh, but you are!” she teased.

“Yeah, you’re kind of offending me right now…” he said, stepping back away from her and raising an eyebrow.

She giggled again. “I love you, Charlie. You know I’m kidding.” She laced her fingers in his. “Even if you were hideous and fat or something, I’d probably still love you.”

“…Why?” he asked. “I wouldn’t find you nearly as attractive if you were fat.”

“When we met I was pregnant.”

“…I mean, like, really fat. Not pregnant fat.”

Claire smiled. “You are exceeding charming, Charlie Pace. I’m not much for dark and tall guys.”

“And I’m not dark, nor am I tall, so that must mean you find me terribly attractive, correct?”

She laughed. “Yes. I do.” She smiled. “I’ve always liked artistic guys.”

“Which is why you’re engaged to one.”

She kissed him. “Yes. That’s exactly why. I wouldn’t be able to live with out you.”

They finally sat down at the table. Charlie brought out a fruit salad so they could try something a little different. Fruit salads had caught on at the island, but they were never too good. This one was exquisite.

“It’s funny to think…only a few months ago you hated me.”

Claire looked up, chewing a banana. She swallowed it a little to fast. “What?”

“…You know, back when I was kidnapping children from their cribs, having their mothers chase me across the beach and finally resulting to hiring big bald men for security. You weren’t too fond of me back in those days.”

Claire looked down at her food, poking at her fruit salad with a fork.

“Did I say something wrong?” Charlie asked immediately. “I didn’t mean to bring it up…I just…”

Claire shook her head, silencing him.

“What if I told you…every time you smiled at me, every time you helped me, every time you helped Aaron, every time you did something good for someone else, even if it didn’t help you…what if I told you every single time I fell even more and more in love with you? What if I told you even when you nearly broke my heart when you took Aaron, I still loved you. Even when I found out about the drugs and the lies…what if I told you none of that even mattered as much as it should have because I was already so much in love you and that love was untouchable?”

Charlie bit his lip. “I’d say you were lying, love.”

“Well, I’m not,” Claire said. She swallowed hard and looked down at the table. Charlie saw her eyes glisten with tears.

“What if I told you that the first time I saw you, pregnant and all, not knowing anything about you…I fell in love immediately?”

Claire looked up. “I’d say love at first sight really does exist, because I felt the same way. And look where we are now.”