Title: And So It Goes...

By: Manigault

Note: Thank you for reading this and especially for all of your comments!

--

"I'm no psychologist," Dr. Stephens stated after speaking with Sara for several minutes. "However, it sounds as if you are suffering from dissociative amnesia, considering you remember everything except the pregnancy and the fact that there was no obvious trauma to your brain."

Clearing his throat, Grissom felt as if a light bulb had flipped on in his mind and he said cautiously, "It's when someone has a sudden loss of memory concernng important personal information due to traumatic stress or internal conflict." Grissom stood on the opposite side of the bed facing the doctor. "She could have systematised amnesia which is characterized by the loss of memory regarding one specific area of memory such as being pregnant."

Ike studied him with a new respect. "I thought you were a criminologist?"

"And an entomologist," Grissom added with a slight smile. "I've done some research on psychological issues, although I'm far from an expert."

"If we could get back to my situation, Dr. Stephens, then I'd appreciate some answers." Sara interrupted and tried unsuccessfully to not sound as moody as she was feeling.

"I thought that's what we were trying to give you." Grissom retorted before Ike could open his mouth. Berating himself for his abruptness, Grissom frowned and wondered why he was being so insane. The last person he wanted to upset was the woman lying in this hospital bed.

Ike stared from his patient to the tense man standing next to her bed and frowned. "Perhaps you'd like to speak with me alone, Miss Sidle?"

The thought of Grissom walking out of the room angry with her didn't sit well in Sara's mind so she shook her head. "No. I'd like for him to stay, but I'd like some answers to my physical problems. When do you think that I can go home?"

Startled by her line of questioning, Ike stumbled over his response before shaking his head. "You won't be going home for several days, Miss Sidle. You had major surgery and not to mention that we certainly don't want to put more stress on the fetus."

"He's going to be okay, I'm sure of it." Sara said with such confidence it caused more concern to crease the edges of Ike's eyes and he exchanged a worried look with Grissom who was shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to the next.

"I'm not a pessimistic man, Miss Sidle, but you need to know that there is the possibility that the trauma you endured both before and after being rescued can have an adverse affect on your unborn child. I have to be blunt about your situation and warn you that you could still lose the fetus."

Sara moved her hand to cover her lower abdomen while giving the doctor a look of steel that would have lesser men running from the room. "If this baby survived everything that I went through out there in the desert and made it through surgery with me, then he is going to pull through the next several months with me."

Ike held up his hands in mock defense as he gave her a smile. "I need to visit with some other patients, Miss Sidle, but if either of you have any questions you can contact me at this number." Leaving his card on the bedside table he then gave Grissom a friendly nod before he turned and left the room.

Settling one hip on the bed next to Sara, Grissom reached out to push a strand of hair from her eyes as he watched the random play of emotions dance across her face.

"You're angry." Sara said, her voice lowering to a tired whisper. Backwards. It felt like they were always moving backwards.

"I'm not angry with you," Grissom said. "It's me. I've realized how selfish that I've become, or to be more accurate, how selfish I've been for years. I'm sorry for sounding so angry, Sara, but I've been lost."

Encouraged by the surprise that showed on her face Grissom continued, "I actually suffered from the same symptoms you have, only once my memory was jarred I did remember."

Arching one eyebrow Sara asked with puzzlement. "What are you talking about Gil? My symptoms?"

"When you were missing all I could think about was finding you and finding you alive. I forgot." Grissom's voice faltered and he lowered his eyes and dropped his hand to his side. "I forgot all about the baby. I didn't give it one thought until Stephens brought it to my attention."

"Now you're feeling guilty." Sara said while drawing one finger along his left forearm. "It's understandable, Gil, it is. I would have probably done the same thing if our positions were reversed."

"If I was the one pregnant?" Grissom teased, his tone becoming much lighter as the weight was lifted from his shoulders.

"Now that would be rather unforgettable." Sara joked back as a smile broke over her cracked lips and she tugged him gently towards her until his lips were grazing her own.

"I love you Sara Sidle." Grissom trailed a light kiss over her lips and pulled back far enough to stare into her eyes.

"You better," Sara said before turning serious. "I love you back, Gil. You're everything to me. You know that, don't you?"

In response, he bent forward again and kissed her forehead.

--

"You're still here, Parker? What's the fascination?" Ida asked, glancing around Natalie's apartment with disgust. "Sara's in the hospital and Natalie is in jail. There's enough evidence back at the lab to put her away for a long time, so why are we still here?"

Parker shrugged as he placed a book back on the shelf and gave Ida half of his attention. "What could make a person go to these lengths? Was she born this way?"

"The woman's insane. Crazy. Nuts. What more do you need? We've been requested back at headquarters, Parker. We should wrap this up and go home." Ida was eager to return to her own apartment and her nice cozy bed. She liked the investigators she'd met for the brief time they had been here in Vegas and she was thrilled that Sidle would be okay, but it was time to leave and she didn't like the way Parker was behaving.

"She was focused on Sara Sidle and found a commonality between them, so why try to kill her? Why take someone that you identify with and leave them out in the desert?"

"I'm sure that Grissom and his team will work out the details Parker. If you're nice then maybe one of them will give you the details when it's solved. Ready to go?"

"No." Parker took another book off a shelf and avoided her eyes as he spoke. "I'm taking a few days of personal leave to help out here. I already spoke with John and he approved it."

Ida opened her mouth to protest and then closed it quickly. John was thier immediate supervisor and if he'd given Parker the time off then there was nothing she could do about that fact.

"What about the CSI's? They probably don't want or need your help."

"I already spoke with Catherine and she told me they would appreciate my continued help. Apparently Grissom is taking a leave of absence to spend some time with Sara so Catherine is the one in charge for the duration of his leave." Parker couldn't help but give Ida a slight smirk as he dashed her arguments. The fact was he wasn't sure why he wanted to stay since the case was at a pretty certain closure, but he was drawn by a need to understand what motivated Natalie to become the person that she'd become. "Besides, I could use a vacation. You're always telling me that."

Ida rolled her eyes. She couldn't help it. Parker was intrigued with the psycho and there would be no convincing him otherwise. "I'm going to stop by the hospital to see Sara before I leave." She reached the door and opened it before looking back at Parker. "I hope that you remember that there are not always clear answers to the reasons people become who they become or do the unthinkable. Don't forget that Parker."

Parker nodded, but his attention was on a journal that he'd found stuck between the pages of a children's classic.

--

Bright flowers in colorful vases lined the window sill and every other available space in Sara's room as she was wheeled in on a stretcher and moved over to the bed by a nurse and Grissom, the latter whom had refused to leave her side until she was safely tucked into bed. The lab as well as the police department had been sending flowers since she'd been admitted and the staff had decided to assign a room to house the gifts until the recipient could be transferred.

Sara settled into bed and looked around the room with an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Beautiful flowers."

"However?" Grissom asked with a slight smile on his lips as he picked up on her mood.

"They'll all wilt and die." Sara stated with such sadness that Grissom felt his heart tug in a manner that he wasn't prepared for as he realized that he wasn't quite certain how to respond.

Climbing onto the bed next to Sara he twisted his body towards her and leaned his head against the pillow beside her head. "I'll have Nick and Warrick help me take them out of here. We can ask the staff to distibute them to other patients if you like."

"Thanks." Shifting her weight so that she was nose to nose with Grissom she smiled and reached up to touch his face. "Your whiskers are coming out."

"Hmmm." Grissom moved closer to her by wrapping one hand around her hip and gently tugging her lips to his as the kiss grew deeper.

"Hey! Hey there! A young kid is present, so do you mind?" Nick's laughing voice had the desired affect as Grissom and Sara jumped apart and turned to spy an amused Nick and a not so amused Greg standing just inside the doorway.

"Young kid? I don't think so Nicky." Greg shook his head and looked back at Sara for support only to find her trying not to laugh.

"Oh yeah? Whose holding the stuffed animal and balloons, huh?" Nick shifted the potted plant he was carrying to one hand and pointed at the obvious.

"Well, Sara doesn't like cut flowers so at least the giraffe will be something she can keep." Greg wanted to add that it was also for the baby but held back as he didn't know the current situation.

"She likes live plants." Nick added as he approached the bed and exchanged grins with Sara who was feeling better by the second. She loved these guys and she knew that Grissom felt the same way even though a quick glance in his direction revealed a scowl. Nudging Grissom with her elbow, she gave each man a warm smile.

"You're both right. I love the plant and the giraffe so thank you very much."

Nick moved some flowers off the window sill and replaced it with the plant at Sara's insistance. Greg handed the giraffe to Sara as he tried unsuccessfully to avoid Grissom's light scowl and before tying the balloons to the end of the bed.

"How are you feeling Sar?" Nick asked after taking the cards off the flowers at her request and placing them on the side table next to Grissom.

"Much better now that I'm in a regular room." Sara gave a weary sigh and sent Grissom a wistful look. "Only not as good as I'll be when I'm allowed to go home and sleep in my own bed."

"It won't be too long before we can go home." Grissom tried to assure her as his scowl vanished and was replaced with determination.

Nick pulled up a chair next to Sara and shot a puzzled look towards the pacing Greg. "Chill out Greg. Pull up a chair and relax."

Greg sighed and looked over at Grissom who now wore a blank expression as the older man stared back at him.

"I don't think Grissom wants us here." Greg said while hoping that Grissom woudn't be pissed at him for his comment. "I mean, Sara needs her rest and all." He stumbled over his own words and looked over at Sara who had her attention focused on Grissom, who was shifting uneasily.

"Greg. Sit." Grissom ordered lightly as amusement took over his previous demeanor. "You make Sara happy so visit with her for awhile. Please."

"Then okay!" Greg smiled and pulled another chair over as his normal personality took over and he began to entertain them with his own heroic actions in saving Sara.

It wasn't until Sara fell asleep that Nick and Greg took their leave, but not before Grissom thanked them for their visit.

Alone once again, Grissom rolled onto his side and studied the bruised and battered face of the most lovely woman he knew and made a silent vow to do his best to make her happy.

TBC