Sexy Moms, Horny Losers

(A Ranma ½ - Sexy Losers Crossover)

by avis de rapina

--oO0Oo--

Chapter 1:

"Speech"

Thoughts

'Titles / Quotes in speech or thoughts'

EMPHASIS

Sound effects

---

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters are the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi. Sexy Losers and its characters are the creation and property of the artist known as "Hard". This story is my own creation. I own no property; my house is rented.

---

Summary: A hot day. A refreshing pool. A topless Kenta. One of Rumiko Shibata's fantasies was about to come true. Then out of the sky...

"Something pig-tailed this way comes..."

---

Rumiko smiled as she watched Kenta finish cleaning the pool. It was a hot day in the Akasaka suburb of Tokyo's Minato ward. A sizzling summer day with highs of 40° C (104° F) was unusual this far north of the tropics. But she was going to take this opportunity to get some sun, take a dip in the cool water of the pool and take in the sights.

She was a sight herself. At 178 cm (5 feet, 10 inches), she weighed only 55 kg (121 lbs). But what there was of her was packed into an 89-66-92 cm (35-26-36) redheaded frame. And that package was currently wrapped in red and white string… Well to be accurate, it was a white thong not a string bikini. The bikini top had red and white stripes though.

But that was not the sight she had in mind. That sight was the sweat glittering in the sunlight on Kenta's bare, chiseled chest as he finished dumping the last 10 kg bag of crushed ice into the pool that he had spent the last hour and a half cleaning. She smiled as she rose, poured a glass of cool water, walked over and offered it to him in thanks. Her smile widened as he poured the water over his chest to cool off after taking a deep gulp. She reached for the pitcher to offer him more liquid to cool off with, when…

Kersplash! Water suddenly geysered over both of them. Ice-cold wa-- Well, very COLD water drenched them. Taking care of Kenta's heating problem, Rumiko's planned dip; and nipping her little fantasy in the bud. Turning around, the couple looked into the pool and saw a pig-tailed redhead floating face-down in the pool.

Reacting quickly, they jumped into the water and swam over to the apparent victim of a fall from some aircraft. They turned the victim over and dragged the redhead over to the edge and out of the pool.

While Rumiko checked the redhead's airway, Kenta hurriedly examined the neck for a carotid pulse and any sign of cervical fracture. Not finding either, Kenta proceeded to do chest compressions while Rumiko performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

By the second downstroke, Kenta was no longer in any doubt that his patient was female, and rather well-developed for her height. This was the first girl's breasts he'd gotten his hands on since Natsuki's death that spring. He'd almost forgotten what that was like. He hoped that the girl lived. He really wanted to re-experience this activity in a more intimate setting and he'd rather not develop a reputation like his classmate Shiunji Watanabe. As he lost concentration his hands spread apart and instead of pressing down, gently squeezed.

Frankly, Rumiko didn't care if the person she was doing CPR on was male or female. Whoever this was, he or she had ruined a perfect opportunity to get Kenta to herself. Her husband was out of town and it has been three days since she got any! She had longed to pour the water all over Kenta's chest and slowly lick every drop of moisture off. She unconsciously stuck her tongue out, unknowingly French kissing the comatose redhead.

---

Ranma was lost. The last thing he remembered was Akane knocking him into the sky with her mallet. He wasn't sure why she had done it this time. Perhaps he shouldn't have mentioned that Ucchan really filled-out the new Furinkan uniform fuku she had taken to wearing lately. He had somewhat regained his senses as he passed over what looked like Shinjuku. If it was, then this was the farthest that Akane had ever hit him, and he was still going. He was definitely falling by the time he passed the Akasaka Palace. He started to use bursts of ki to control his descent. He still had a ways to go before he could use ki to successfully duplicate Herb's flying technique, but he could change direction and slow his speed. This was good news because Akane's chi-mallet had apparently accelerated him to beyond normal terminal velocity. The bad news was that at this speed, hitting that swimming pool ahead would be like landing on wet concrete. OH, KAMI! THIS WAS GONNA HURT!!!

---

The next thing Ranma knew somebody was sticking their tongue down his throat. It felt good, almost as good as... No, this was BETTER than that time Shampoo gave him the 'Kiss of Marriage'! Whoever was doing this knew what they were doing. This was even better than those lessons he paid Nabiki for. He started to get into the kiss. He really liked the way whoever was kissing him was massaging his breasts. WTF? Breasts! Hello…

---

Rumiko sat back and looked down in concern as the perso--- the girl who had been enthusiastically returning her kiss began to cough and choke. She smoothed back red locks from eyelids fluttering open to reveal blue eyes that gazed at her in confusion.

---

Ranma looked around and made a quick systems inventory. Wet clothing – check. Female body – check. Half-naked pervert squeezing her breasts – check. Sufficient strength and mobility in upper extremities with which to pound said pervert – check. Nearly naked female redheaded kisser – check. Wait-a-minute! Redhead, female, Japanese, late thirties to early forties, good figure, blue-green eyes…

"Momma?" Ranma croaked-out.

--oO0Oo--

A/N: Just a short bit of spam that got caught in my mental teeth. If I do decide to pursue this, I'll have to keep it cleaner than I plan tDiMT to be.