A Demon Like Myself

Chapter Eight

Warnings: Rape, Yaoi, and a small flash back

- - - - - -Little Note- - - - - -

I have been moving for the last couple of days. I got in a big fight with my younger brother and lets put it this way. I lost big time. My brother is a very angry person. So anyway, I moved in with my dad (it is not that bad since my parents are joint custody. I am with my mom for one week, then my dad, then back to my moms, and so on. So for college I was just going to live with my dad. So anyway, I got in a big fight and I told my mom I was leaving. So I have been packing up for some time. I just got everything over today, and I'm proof. Also, I made a big mistake in my last chapter so I had to rewrite a lot of things. There is more information in the Author Note down below.

SINCE IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING. I MAY HAVE SOME GRAMMAR MISTAKES. oops sorry. I hit the caps button. Anyway. I reformatted my computer so I do not have Word on here. Lucky for me I uploaded what I had onto my google account. So I am editing everything through google. I am once again sorry for any mistakes. I will try to fix them later today when I am awake.

- - - - - -Reviews- - - - - -

SpunkyHellKitty: I am sorry about the late update, but it is updated :D

Bubblegumcrazed: I am sorry about that. I know this chapter will have some. It is three in the morning and I kind of don't like this chapter at all...

wolvknight: Sorry about that. I will look over my writing more. Sorry about the Uke thing. I am going to go in more detail about that. There is a lot of things in Demon culture that has yet need to come out. Wrong information is being told and mistakes are being made which are mostly on Naruto part. I know this may sound confusing, but you will get it later :)

SoSickOfNyQuil: It is coming :P

Beautiful Kaos: Why did I leave it there... well most authors do that to me, so I do it back, lol. Don't you hate it when that happens

Austln: Thank-you and here it is.

- - - - - -Chapter Eight- - - - - -

No sun light, clean air, or any type of happiness are in Sound. The most deadliest, rude, missing-nins, robbers, and killers come to Sound for protection. The whole country is in Chaos with danger that is unacceptable to the other countries.

Why would anyone want to come to such a danger place? It lies within the cave walls of the master of snakes. He is the one who is going to rule the world and take what it his. He knows all of Konoha secrets and is learning other villages. Ninjas and villagers come to him with knowledge and power to only gain a place within his village. They know that they will be on the winning side.

The most important thing that no one knows about him is his secrets on how he is so strong. He is half demon – half snake demon to be more precise. He can control weak snakes that can’t transform into humans. They are the weakest of his kind.

In the demon word there are many forms of demons: the first one being the animals as we known. They cannot speak any language but their own, they do not have any powers, and they are at the bottom of the classes but they are well looked out for.

The next class is the most common ones. They are able to transform into humans and animals of their species. They have the same type of power of human villagers and normal ninja.

The protective class is the next one. They are the warriors of demons. Their power is much stronger then human ninjas. They are the ones who keep humans away from the lower class and protect the lords of their lands. They are like the ninjas that go to school to protect their village and Hokage.

The second highest class is the tails beast that the Akatsuki are after. They are the ones that have meetings and keep humans away from learning the world of demons. They are to run their part of the lands and make sure they are safe. Some have abandoned that post after humans started to ruin their kind. They set off the demons without knowing causing the demons to go into humans – Jinchuriki.

The last of the class is the Legacy Demon or also the Leader of the Demons. This demon is the most strongest and fearless demon of them all. His job is to protect all demons from each other and humans. It is also the job of the leader to keep humans safe from the demons. There are demons that wish to feed of humans and it is his job to punish those to do. He is the leader that disappeared, and Akatsuki believe they know how to call him back.

Yes, the snake knew from the beginning of his childhood that he is half demon. It does not matter to the world of Demons that he is half. He will be place in the protective class only because his power is strong. He is at the level of the lower protective class. In humans though, he is still strong and growing – which is true.

Orochimaru walks down the dark cave halls. His room is just down the hallway and he knows that something specials lays there for him.

How long has it been since Sasuke left? One of the main reasons why Orochimaru wanted him was because of his demon line. Sasuke family had been kick out of the demon world and is not aloud back. Their power grows by anger and the lord did not like that one bit. So he closed off their power and the only thing that they were able to keep is their sharingan, so other demons know who they are.

In stead of living horrible lives, they move to Konoha where they have become heroes in the eyes of the villagers. Orochimaru knows the truth. He knows what powers Sasuke hold within him. Sasuke may be a half demon, but he still comes from a strong demon family that is slowly going away. Itachi and Sasuke are the only ones left. Since they are they are the main clan, their Demon blood is much stronger. The rest of the family blood usually died away through generations.

Orochimaru reaches his solid wooden door. There are snakes imaged into the door giving it off the eerie feeling. He walks into his room to see a small figure on his bed and another one standing looking over.

Orochimaru room is one the creepiest rooms of all. All long the walls the support beans are shape like snakes that are crawling up the walls. Everything in black: his chairs, walls, floor, lamps, just about everything. The only other colour is green which is the blankets and pillows on the bed, the paintings of snakes, and his cloths that are in the dresser and the door on the other side on the room.

The bed is far back on the other side of the door that you come in. On the ride of the bed is the green door which leads somewhere that only Orochimaru is able to go. On the left of the bed is the desk. On the right hand wall is the paintings of snakes while the other wall has the dresser and bookcases.

The man in the room notices that Orochimaru is in the room.

“He is resting at the moment, Lord Orochimaru. It seems as though it has already started.” The man tells him. He has gray hair and black glasses. He is one of the most loyal ninjas he has.

He doesn’t have to worry about him running off or telling his secrets. Kabuto is his main guy for anything that needs to be done. This mission is just one of the many he has done right.

Orochimaru walks up to Kabuto and looks down at the blond. “Did Naru-chan give you any troubles, Kabuto?”

Kabuto shakes his head. “You must know Orochimaru-sama that Naruto is in heat. He will not be able to do anything for a while now.”

“Yes you are right. Now would you leave my room.” It was no questions but an order. Kabuto nods his head and leaves the room.

Orochimaru sits down on his king size bed and looks at Naruto new features. He rubs Naruto fox-like ears. He likes how they feel under his fingers.

“Sa...“Orochimaru hears the small mumble. He starts to trace Naruto body. It is small, feminine, and looks to be a tight fit. Everything he wants.

Orochimaru leaves Naruto alone and moves his way to his desk. He sits down on the chair and starts to read the book that Kabuto left on the desk.

- - - - - -Uchiha District- - - - - -

All the ninja are stung to do anything. They stood in the doorway unknown what to do. To Sasuke, Jiraiya, and Sakura they just got back Naruto. They were able to hold him, see him, and know that he is ok. Now he is taken away and they don’t know who. Is it Akatsuki? Is it the Sound ninjas? Or is someone else here…?

“No…it can’t be…” Sakura says to herself. She can’t see the one she calls a brother gone from her life. No, she will not accept it. She stomps her foot down.

Sasuke stares at the note. “Why wasn’t there anyone watching Naruto?” His eyes are flaring red.

Kumori looks at Sasuke, “Are you trying to say something?” He starts walking over to Sasuke but Jiyuu jumps in front of them.

“Stop both of you. We have to stay calm. I believe that Naruto was taken a while ago meaning that he is now out of reach. We have to find out who took him and take it from there. Understood?”

Both men nodded their heads and try to find clues. Sasuke goes to the window and starts looking around it. He feels a Charka that felt familiar. He can’t seem to put his finger on it. He turns around to see everyone else looking around. He notices a small needle, and then it hits him.

“Kabuto…” Sakura turns around and looks at Sasuke.

“Sasuke if you are right…then that means we are in big trouble.

- - - - -Underground in Sound- - - - - -

The place reeks of death and rotten things. There is no sight of light through this area. It is the underground of Sound – in other words – the dungeons.

Anyone who has gone back on Sound, tried to leave, or is in the way come to these dungeons. Experiments are place on the prisoners until they die or let go – which leads to their death anyway.

No one has yet escaped their cells because they are too afraid of the large snakes that protect the doors and around the area. Orochimaru has trained the snakes well.

In the last cell lays Naruto. He is on the bed trying to figure out what is going on with his body. Nothing is making sense. One moment he is with Kumori, and then he is with Orochimaru and the next thing he knows he is here.

Naruto doesn’t understand what is going on. He turns his head to the side to notice that there is another prisoner with him.

The prisoner looks very weird to Naruto. He reminds Naruto of a cat. The cat like eyes, the body that gives off the smooth look, and the way she handles her self.

The girl looks at Naruto and notices that he is awake. She walks over to him and feels his head. “This is your first heat, is it not?” Her voice is low in a whisper. She doesn’t want anyone to hear what they are talking about.

“Heat…?” Naruto asks with a confused look. He already asks Kyuubi what is going on with his body, but she told him that she had no clue. When a demon is sealed up within a human or another demon they lose their memory. The only things they can really remember are the other tailed demons.

The woman looks down at Naruto and smiles. “It seems that no one has told you the heat seasons that we go through, young one.” She sits down beside him on the cold dirty floor. “Every year we have our own Heat seasons. It last about a week or two. If you happen to have a mate or if someone who wants to be your mate will also go into heat.” She puts her hand onto Naruto hand trying to comfort him.

Naruto grabs her hand that is offered to him. “Is it really this painful all of the time?”

The lady shakes her head. “No, No, young one. It seems that since this is your first heat it is going to be a bit painful. No worries through. It seems that you are a submissive type by birth.”

“How … do you know … this stuff?” Naruto asks as he closes his eyes because of the pain that is going through his body.

“I am a demon,” Naruto eyes open. “You are one too…” She sees the look on Naruto face. She turns her head slightly. “Don’t you know about the Demon World?”

Naruto shakes his head. Ok this is way too confusing for him. The young woman starts explaining to Naruto about the Demon world and how it runs.

“So it is kind of like a shinboi village?”

“Yes you are sort of right,” She explains to him. “The lord of our World is chosen by the Royal Family. They hold a very strong blood line that no one can copy…”

“What happen?” Naruto asks her.

“About twenty years ago, the Lord was in a great fight. He was in a battle with some demons that wish to take over his post. He won the fight but then he was gone…” She looks over at Naruto. “No one knows what happen to him, but we are still looking for him and his baby.”

“His baby…?” A loud noise alerts everyone. Naruto looks at the girl. She looks really mad. She gets up and moves to the door.

The whole cell is made out of cement and there are no windows but the door. The door is made out of steal but the top have a small window that has bar going down. So you can still look out of it and talk to coming to your cell but that is about it.

The girl gives a small growl. She knows who is coming. She backs away for a bit to be closer to Naruto.

Another pain goes through Naruto body causing him to close his eyes. He can hear the door opening. He hears some shuffling and some yelling.

He feels something falling close to him. Naruto slowly opens his eyes but the pain is growing in his body. He doesn’t understand why…

“Kibou you should know by now that you cannot win against me,” Naruto turns to the Kibou. She is holding her left hand to her right shoulder. She is hissing at the man that came in. Naruto looks at the main in the door way. He knows right away that is it Kabuto.

Kabuto walks into the cell. There are men standing at the door way just in case something might happen. The missing-nin walks towards Naruto. He puts his hand on Naruto forehead checking his temperature.

Naruto groans and moves his head slightly to his right then the left trying to get Kabuto hand off of his head. Kabuto ignore Naruto and takes his hand off of Naruto forehead and places two fingers on Naruto neck to check his plus. He writes some things on down a board that he brought in with them and leaves the room.

As he leaves, a girl brings in their food. It is a very simple meal that is some bread, soup, and a small glass of water. Kibou knows that they are treating better then other prisoner.

She grabs the food and brings them over to where Naruto is laying down. She grabs the bread and brings it to Naruto mouth.

“I want you to eat some bread. You need all the energy that you can get,” Naruto looks at the food and turns his head. He doesn’t feel like any food at all. “Come on, you need it. You will feel better.” Naruto turns his head back to the food.

“Can you help me up please?” She nods her head and helps him to sit up. His back is against the wall while his legs hang off the bed. Kibou helps Naruto eat some of the bread that is given to them. She doesn’t tell Naruto that she had given some of her food to him.

“You known young one, I haven’t gotten your name,” she smiled to him. Naruto looks at her. She is a very kind woman.

“My name is Naruto…”

“That is an uncommon name for a demon…” She frowns. Naruto looks at her confusing.

“Why so? It is just a name.”

“Do you know what your name means?” Naruto shakes his head in a no. “You know those pink whirlpool designs in the middle that is use for the topping of Ramen?” Naruto nods his head. “Well that is what your name mean.”

Naruto eyes open, “Really? That is my favorite food!”

The woman laughs, “That is kind of funny.” Naruto slowly starts closing his eyes. Kibou notices it and gives a small smile. “I guess you are already for bed. Don’t worry, I will be here to make sure you are alright.”

“What…about your… arm?” Naruto asks sleepy.

“It is already healing young one, you should know that we – demons- heal fast.” Naruto gives a small laugh before he goes into a dream land.

- - - - -Hokage Village- - - - - -

A small group of ninja are standing in front of the Hokage waiting for her to speak after telling what happen to the other unknown ninja that was in their group.

“Let me get this straight. Naruto –Baka- My Baka- was here with you all along. He was kidnapped today because of an unknown virus and you didn’t bring him here…”

“Yes you are correct,” Jiyuu tells the Hokage. “For you must known, we have a healer in our pack who is much better at healing us then anyone.”

Sakura and Sasuke who are standing behind the group of Jinchuriki move back a bit. Never get Tsunade angry. They have learned the hard way.

Tsunade stands up. You can see the angry in her eyes and the youth jusu she put on her self is fading away.

“Listen here punks. I have known Naruto a lot longer then you have. I have seen his worst days and his good days. I’ve been with him through the time his best friend left him. I have made sure the time I began the Hokage to make sure that Naruto is safe. I have been going to his apartment and making sure that the lady doesn’t charge him more then others who lived there. I have been going to grocery stores making sure that they don’t sell him rotten food. I have been trying my freaking best to make sure that Naruto can become Hokage. I have been yelling at the elders of this forsaken village to grow up and treat Naruto as a normal ninja who has served his village. He is just like a son to me.”

Kumori stands up staring at the women.

“Really, have you been there through the nightmares he has and calming him down after each and every one of his. Telling him that he is not worthless or the demon this village has called him. He doesn’t have self confidence anymore and I have been trying to fix that. He is scared of trusting people and being his own person. Naruto is one of the smartest and best ninjas out there. He is able to make great plans and learn the abilities of other in just moments. He can study people and learn all about them by the way they fight and talk to him. All because of this village he is unable to use those skills because of what he thinks about himself. You may done that for him, but you miss the big part – granny. You miss to see how Naruto was behaving while living here. That is why he left, and I believe it is the best choice he ever made.”

Sakura and Sasuke watch as the tears come out from Tsunade eyes. She is looking down at her desk.

“Do you believe that I think about that everyday? I sit here waiting for him to come back. I have tired leaving here to go and bring him back to me. He is just like my family that I took for granted. He is strong and I always thought that he was going to be by my side forever. I saw him taking my post in the future. I saw him smiling at me with a real smile. I cried and cried everyday I thought about that, because in the end he left. I shouldn’t have done for more him. I know I should have.”

Sakura starts crying at those words. She too knows that she had taken Naruto for granted. Everyone has learned the hard way here. When Naruto left, the villagers who have loved Naruto started to feel down and less happy. Naruto is the light of the village and without him the village will suffer.

Sasuke turns his head to the side. He doesn’t want anyone to see the emotions in his eyes. Naruto is the only one Sasuke really cares about in this village. He is the one who doesn’t care that his last name is Uchiha. He only cared about the person he was and how he is not really a bad guy only someone who had made a mistake. Sasuke never though of it before by now after Naruto had left; Sasuke started really thinking about his childhood. It wasn’t really that bad. There are lots of families that are murdered from within. There are children who see their mother or father killing their spouse. It is not uncommon. Sasuke only really thought it was a big thing because everyone else was freaking out. Sasuke family was not really a family at all. They did not really care about him, they only wanted him stronger. His father always wanted him to become like his brother Itachi while his mother was usually always a little off.

He always wondered what would happen if they didn’t die. Would his life be any better? No it would not. He would have the Kyuubi power that Naruto holds. Naruto would be dead and others around him will be dead inside. Naruto has helped him overcome their darkness and become who they are today.

Sasuke looks back at the group before him. They know what Naruto has been through. They are Jinchuriki and they have been hated from their village to the point where they left or have been thrown out. They have done nothing wrong and yet they are the ones who are created like a missing-nin.

It is not fair – but it is how life works.

“How are we going to help him now?” Sasuke asks them. They need to stop worrying about who has taken care of Naruto better and start worrying on how to get him back.

“You guys are in no way to go and get Naruto. You are not ready.” Lavender tells them. “You have not yet train in the way of Demons. You have many flaws that will come to your death if you come with us. You need to train in order to improve. It will take days, weeks, or even months but you need to improve. Today’s training was seeing what you need to improve at, and in my group, it is a lot. It is going to take time in which we do not have, but you cannot go into a fight with out it.”

Sasuke looks at her in the eye. “I know where Naruto is right now. I have train under him for some time. He is not that strong. I do believe that we are strong enough to go and get him.”

She shakes her head. “Do you not understand? He has hidden many things from you. You must have something that he wants. He trained you in order to improve those things but kept most of secrets from you. He is a half demon and a very strong one too. He is able to catch demons and find out their power and use it for himself. He tricks demons and humans to do his dirty work. I have found this out in the Northern Country.”

“We do not have time though,” Sakura tells him. “How can we train and still help Naruto?”

Kitoushi looks at the young girl. “I may an idea.” Everyone turns their head to him. “In my old home, we have a large cave that no one is aloud to go into. It is a special area that only certain ninjas with great power can go in. Everyone who has gone in has never came out but one man. He was much stronger and smarter once came out of the cave. If we are to build up strength in a short amount of time, then I believe that going to this cave will make us stronger.”

Everyone thinks about. Is it is really the only way to build up strength in a short amount of time.

Tsunade looks at Sakura and Sasuke. “I will need most of the ninjas that you are training. I want you to bring: Sakura, Sasuke, Sai, Kakashi, and Iruka. I know they will train hard.”

They nod their heads, “I want them ready by tomorrow morning at the Eastern Gate by Five packed and ready to go.”

- - - - -Hokage Village- - - - - -

“Mommy…Daddy… look at what I made,” jumps a little boy. The mother and father who where sitting down on the bench watching their son build an sand castle in the park, stand up to see what their child as made.

“That is really good work,” the mother tells her son.

“Did you do this by yourself?” The father asks him. The boy nods his head very happy.

“Yep, I did it all by myself.” The young boy jumps off of the sand and into his father arms. “Daddy, did you have a good father’s day?” The father smiles down at his child and wife.

“Every day is a good day, because when I look at you and your mother, I am very happy.”

The family starts to walk away from the park not knowing that a young child is sitting down on the swings watching from afar on what is going on.

“Why is this day so special?” The boy asks himself. “Is it like every other day?”

“Look over here, it is the Demon Brat.”

The young boy turns his head to face the upcoming people. It is a group of four men who seem to be a little weird today.

Naruto had seen them today with their families enjoying the day. Everyone with families has been doing that. Fathers have been getting gifts from their children and telling them how much they love each other.

Naruto holds on the swing tightly. For some odd reason, he wants to run away from these men.

One of the men walk up to Naruto and grab his chin and look into Naruto eyes that are filled with fear.

“Oh, it seems as though the little Demon Brat is scared,” the man laughs. “Well you should be, you little twerp. Tonight I am going to make you wish that you were never born.”

All of the men laugh and group around Naruto. Of them pushes Naruto off of the swing.

How many times had Naruto gone through these beatings? He is not even five years old and yet Naruto has been beating almost everyday. It is something that no child should go through, or for anyone for that matter.

Naruto would lay on the ground and take the kicks, punches, and what ever is thrown at him. He is will take it all and not let them known how much it is getting to him.

But what comes next hurts Naruto even more.

“I bet your parents are happy that they are dead. I bet you even killed them too, Demon. They don’t have to watch over you at all. They don’t have to live knowing what you became.” The man then goes to the boy’s ear. “I bet your father believes that you are unfit to be his son…”

Most of Naruto life he knows that Mothers and Fathers is the best things in a child’s life. They learn many things like love, morals, beliefs, and for a child to make their parents proud of them.

What that man had said to Naruto had hurt him many ways that those beatings had. He had somehow failed in life. He wasn’t able to make his family proud of him? Are his parents really dead? Do they even care about him? He is really a worthless cause they call him? Is he somehow at fault for many people deaths? Is it he truly a monster?

- - - - -Underground in Sound- - - - - -

It’s been two weeks since Naruto was caught by Kabuto. Nothing has changed in their settings. Naruto is still in the same old cell with Kibou.

Naruto was done his heat a week and a half a go. Kibou told him that every year around that time for him is going to be his heat season.

Kibou looks at the cell door. She has been planing for a long time on how to escape this place. She knows when Kabuto or any of the other guards comes to check up on them, or when their food comes. She has been studying for a while now.

She looks over Naruto who is now sleeping. He was unable to ask some more questions about the Demon World because of their sleep patterns. They know not to trust Kabuto or anyone here, so one is always up while the other one sleeps. They are only awake together while eating.

Kibou walks over to Naruto. She knows that he at least had eight hours of sleep. She has everything plan out. She knows that tonight is the night to escape. She can feel it in the air.

“Naruto…can you wake up please.” Kibou asks hem. He moves slightly in his sleep until his eyes are open. He looks into Kibou eyes before sitting up on the bed.

“What is wrong, Kibou?” He asks her.

"Tonight is the night, Naruto. We are going to leave this place," she explains to him.

"What..."

"It has been four weeks since I have been in here. I was part of a squad that was to go and check the area. I was caught and ended up here. I know that by now my squad has found this area and is waiting to attack. I know that they will not be able to get to me so I will have to get to them. We are going to leave tonight, Naruto."

Naruto looks at her. He knows that it is a matter of time before something happens. You can never trust Orochimaru. He has a sick mind and you never know what is going to happen next. "Okay, lets go." Naruto looks up at Kibou and they nod their heads.

It has been easy knocking out the guards that brought their food in. Kibou had look her bed apart and use the leg of the bed to knock out the guards. They have been running for some time trying to find their way out of the underground. It is just like a big maze with lots of door and traps.

Every so many steps is a new door. They know that they have to go through a certain door in order to get into a new hallway that would leave them out of the underground and into the forest where they can be safe and meet up with Kibou squad.

"This one is locked," Naruto tells Kibou who is on the other side of the hall checking the doors. Most of the doors aren't even doors at all. Naruto opens another door to find out that it is a trap. He quickly makes some hand seals and shoots the snake that has came out of the room back into the room and closes the door. He turns around to Kibou, "I give up. There are way too many doors."

Kibou grabs his hand. "Lets see if we can make it to the end of this hallway. Maybe the door might be there." They run for what seems like hours but only ten minutes. In time they come across a large door. Both sides of the door is two large snakes which looks like to protecting it. Naruto and Kibou look at each other before opening the door.

A bright shine of light brightens up the hallway. They have found the door to the outside world. Kibou looks around the area before going any further. She has notice that during Naruto and hers escape, there hasn't been one guard they have met. It was like they wanted them to leave, but why?

"Come on Naruto. I can see the calling that my team has made. It is only a couple miles away." Naruto nods his head and follows after Kibou.

They jump on the trees going through them like nothing. They look around making sure that there are no traps or hidden guards. You can never be to sure.

"Took you long enough, Kibou." says a voice from the clearing. Kibou stops on a tree branch looking around for the voice. Naruto stops behind her wondering what is going on. In moments, two demons jump on a branch beside Kibou. They look just like her but they are both men. One has long hair while the other has short hair.

"Who is your little friend?" The Demon with long hair asks.

"This is Naruto. It seems that he is a Fox Demon and didn't know anything about the Demon world. It seems as though Naruto and Orochumori know each other but not on the best of terms." She gives a small laugh. "We must get going. I know that the Sound are planing something and I have a feeling that it is not going to be good."

The two men nod their heads and take off with Naruto and Kibou following them. Naruto looks over to Kibou.

"Kibou, where are we going?" He asks.

"We are going to the Demon Village, Naruto." She answers back.

Naruto nods his head. He looks back to the two men ahead and can't help but think about his friends, and if they are worried about him. If so, what are they doing.

- - - - -Author Notes- - - - - -

I had a huge mistake in my last chapter, so I had to rewrite most of this out again. When I was writing the last chapter I was thinking on making the training part longer by saying that they had train for at least a month or so. But me being the blond I am, forgot to put that done and then made this chapter thinking that they had a month training time. So I had to change this whole chapter and add a lot of things that I do not like at all. The whole cave thing - I had to make that up and I hate it. I didn't know what to do because they haven't really train at all. Only seeing what needs to be done. So that part was last minute. So was Kibou. Oh man, I hate it when I mess up. -cries-