‘Ranma: A working title. ’ by Krimzonrayne, akai kou hana.

Chapter 1: All that has an end, has a beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ nor Fanfiction dot net, any of the fanfics or their author mentioned here.

Author’s note: This is my tribute to fanfiction dot net, a website that has a huge impact on my life and probably what prompt me to become a writer in the first place. A fellow author is being used here with his consent, though; I think he’ll learn to regret it… Muah ha ha.

Although, I STILL haven’t asked Tri-Matter yet… oh well

Anyway here is the next one of the silly thing.

--- TT ---

Some time after the last chapter has ended; Ranma was sitting by himself on the roof of Tendo resident. He had shaken the girls off and successfully retrieved his laptop now all he has to do is find a place to recharge it. Now that in itself doesn’t seem like much but, of course like everything in the pig tailed boy’s life…

…it was easier said than done.

First of all, a charging laptop in the Tendo household would stick out like a sore thumb so without risking his precious notebook being pawn to feed Genma’s fat stomach; he couldn’t charge it there.

The next logical place would be Ucchan’s. But doing so would require him to explain what he would do with one and where did he got the money to buy it in the first place; two thing which he didn’t felt like explaining just yet.

Of course he could go to Daisuke or Hiroshi; after all, it’s not like they would mind him using a power socket. In fact, he had been either of those places to charge before.

‘But…’ Ranma muttered to himself, ‘…remember what happened last time?’

The boy shuddered, he still have nightmares of that.

Sure, he knew his two buddies were always a bit of a pervert but Tentacle hentai? Hermaphrodite pornography? Something just isn’t meant to be seen. Ever.

No, Daisuke and Hiroshi are out; he wasn’t that desperate.

…yet…

Damn it! What the hell is in that file Materia’s blade sent me? I need to know!!!

Ranma walked back and forth on the roof until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ahhhh, this sucks!” He screamed loudly at heaven.

Suddenly, out of sheer coincident and not because the writer could think of a good plot device, Ranma had an epiphany.

Yes, an epiphany… one of those moments where you’ve suddenly realizes how much of an idiot you were for not thinking of the solution before.

“Oh my god, how could I have been so stupid?” He muttered angrily at himself and jumped off the roof completely oblivious to the soundless lightening that hit the spot behind him on the roof. It read:

MAYBE BECAUSE YOU WERE RAISED BY AN INCOMPETENT SWINE? OR MAYBE BECAUSE YOU’RE A MUSCLE FOR BRAIN, MARTIAL ART NUT?

STOP ASKING ME SUCH STUPID QUESTION, FOR MY SON’S SAKE! BECAUSE EVERYTIME I’M ANGRY, MY SON ALWAYS WORRIES ABOUT MY HEALTH.

--- TT ---

At an internet café which shall remain nameless at this point of time, Ranma was humming happily to himself as he booted up his portable computer.

“Em… excuse me?” A rather timid and meek looking boy spoke up from behind him.

“What is it?” The pig tailed martial artist replied rather irritably. Damn it, why was it so hard to just have a look the darn file?

“Em… you need to pay before you use our internet service.”

“That’s great. I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.” Ranma said without turning around.

“Look, you have to pay…”

“Before using the internet, I know, I’m not deaf. I’m only using the socket for charging my battery.” Ranma, hm… over usage of the word Ranma here, I mean my name is great and all but using it too much kinda implies that I lack creativity or have poor command of the language. Better change it to the world best martial artist or the talented young writer or the epitome of manhood or something.

After all, all these things are well known facts. Heh heh heh muah ha ha ha ha!

The meek boy, who was only trying to do his job, started backing away from the insanely cackling boy in Chinese T.

“Where was I? Ah yes, the file…” Ranma snapped out of his mental monologue… Oh, that’s alliteration; he IS getting better at this writing stuff. He moved his curser over to the file and opened it. Inside was a single folder named:

Ranma ½ fanfiction.

…

The said boy got a distinct feeling he should be freaked out or something…Oh well, he shrugged his shoulders and opened the folder.

Then gasped…

“You prick!!!” Ranma screamed at the guy who spilt hot coffee on him. Stupid idiot almost got coffee on his precious ASUS. COFFEE!!!

The raven haired boy glared at the idiot, a visible blue aura that snapped into existence only served to make him more intimidating. After the pathetic man left, Ranma looked down at the brown stain on his t-shirt disdainfully.

“Frickin idiot, Kasumi’s gonna have a field day with this.” He grumbled to himself. Well, to be honest, Kasumi actually won’t have a field day with it. She probably won’t even bat an eye at a coffee strain after all the… other stuff she has to wash off my clothes before.

“Right… where was I?”

Ranma clicked on the first of the many text files listed in the folder.

His eyes widened.

Then everything went black… due to the cut scene

--- TT ---

Materia’s blade groaned as he woke up. He reached around and touched the back of his head gingerly, wondering how the heck did he manage to hit himself in the back of his head.

He couldn’t figure it out so he just shrugged.

Then he wished he hadn’t done that because the movement caused his headache to worsen by multiple folds.

“Where am I?” He mumbled to no one in particular, standing up to get a bearing of the place. He looked around and saw all sort of signs and bill boards then came to one conclusion. They must be Kanji! And this could only mean…

“Oh my god! I’m in Ranma ½! This must be Japan!!!” The young writer screamed, completely forgotten about the fact that he was in the middle of a street, a crowded street.

“No, you’re in China.” Someone said to him.

“Heh! How did you understand what I was saying?” The author asked, curiosity abound once again. “Oh I know; this is one of those fic where a SI character immediately can speak whatever language the other character uses.”

“Eh, no… I just happen to speak English like the majority of people in this country because it’s a compulsory subject in high schools.” The Chinese man dead panned.

Sarcasm… ouch!

“Right…” Materia’s blade mumbled, feeling pretty silly right about now. He walked away quickly, trying to ignore the odd stares he was receiving.

“Now, how do I get to Japan? After all I couldn’t swim there like the Saotomes did.” He reached into his pants’ pockets. There turned out to be empty. “Couldn’t even afford a meal, much less a plane ticket or a ship’s fare so normal transport is out.”

…

“Shit, what to do, what to do, what to do…” The boy grumbled, pacing about in stress. Oh the irony, in his fic he’d made his character isolated with no way of getting back to the ones he/she wanted to be with and now… he’s being treated the same way.

God must be laughing… no, the author must be laughing, not even God would be this cruel.

Wait a minute… he’s in a story right? This means that…

“GOD, GIVE ME A SIGN!!!” He shouted at the sky, looking left and right cautiously. Suddenly there was a whooshing sound of something ripping through the air. Materia smirked and jumped back…

…just in time to avoid being cleaved in half by a massive falling neon sign.

The young man looked at the thing that almost killed him and the crater it had created in the pavement. He approached it nonchalantly and crouched down beside the thing, all in all, it appeared as if he was studying the sign.

One by one people began to crowd around the boy and fallen sign. After almost a minute, the guy who had spoken to the boy before spoke up.

“What does it mean?” He asked, thinking the boy was some kind of a mage who foresee the future by deciphering unique… signs. Damn, that was a lame pun.

Materia’s blade turned to him slowly; he had a serious look on his face as he said. “I...”

“Yes?”

“I can’t read Chinese.”

Newspaper headline: Massive earthquake killed people in Xing Qui region. Cause is unknown at this time.

“Wait a minute, Xing Qui region? Isn’t that where Pantyhose Tarou’s from?” The young author said. He was the only one who didn’t face fault.

“I don’t know, Rumiko-sama didn’t specify in the manga.”

“Yeah, she didn’t, did she?” Materia had a distant look in his eyes. Suddenly, he snapped back to reality…, or rather, fiction that he was in. “Hey who said that?” He said, looking around.

Everyone was whistling innocently. Almost everyone… a boy in a thick red coat wasn’t.

“It was sure wasn’t it?” MB asked, narrowing his eyes at the other boy.

“What? Me?!?!” He said, sounding shocked at being the suspect. “Why?”

“Em…” The author muttered, wondering why he accused the boy. After all, he was the only one who WASN’T trying to look innocent.

“This is discrimination! You singled me out on the basis that I can’t whistle!”

“Hey, I wasn’t discriminating anyone. You’re wearing a RED coat and you speak perfect English; using words like ‘discrimination’. Face it, you stand out”

…

They glared at each other…

“I’m suing you for harassment.”

“Like HELL you are.”

…

The boy in red huffed and began walking away… Only to be crushed by a huge monster than looked like something from a manga or an anime. After all, a Hollywood monster would hardly look like a yeti with wings and …WTH is that?!?!.

Anyway…

Materia’s blade walked over to the monster who was wondering why everyone was starring at him intensely. Oh wait… he’s a 10 feet tall, giant monster.

“Excuse me… could you like, move over a bit?” The author said to Pantyhose Tarou.

“Oh excuse me.” Tarou said in Japanese which came out as grunting and howling noise, rendering any kind of understanding impossible. Though, it didn’t really matter because he did move aside as the boy requested.

MB knelt down and examined the boy he was talking to earlier. He was as thin as cardboard. What a waste, his jacket was pretty nifty. Hm… there’s a name tag.

“PK?” The young man read it out loud. “Prism Knight? OMG I’ve just killed Black Dragon’s brother!”

…

Shrug.

“Oh well, it’s too late to do anything about it now.” MB said out loud. He turned to Pansuto who wasn’t doing really anything except well, breathing.

“Hey Pa… Hey Tarou-san!” He shouted, looking up at the hulking form of said …person. “If I change your name for you, will you take me to Japan?”

“How? I mean only Happosai could change my name?”

“I’m a writer.” MB said simply, as if that explained everything. Including the fact that Pansuto shouldn’t even be able to speak English or at all in the first place.

Hm… he’s good.

“Look just trust me okay? In fact I’ll work on it right now.” The young author looked around. “Hey anyone got a piece of paper and a pen?”

He was promptly handed one.

While this was going on, Pansuto was making a decision.

Hm… go on a rampage of meaningless of killing or give some random guy a lift to Japan… decision, decision, decision…

“Well, do we have a deal?” The guy asked.

--- TT ---

A cut scene of some undetermined length later, the pair of monster and boy touched down outside the Tendo dojo.

Why Tendo dojo you asked?

Donno, probably because… nah, got nothing on that one right now; get back to me later.

Materia’s blade hopped off the back of the Yeti slash something rather rather something and almost sprained his ankles. Damn it, forgot he has no mad martial art skills.

“Well?” The monster seemed to say.

The young author handed him the piece of paper he had been writing on. It read:

By the power rested in me from my room mate’s best friend’s second cousin’s god father’s uncle who was a fan of Happosai, I declared that, hence forth, one who used to be called Pantyhose Tarou shall be known as Michael Jackson. May he find peace and comfort in his new name, because I’m not changing it ever again!

--- TT ---

Ranma stared blankly at the scene which was anything but blank. It was filled with… details… details of his life.

He was shocked.

Shocked.

Because all these fanfictions could only mean one thing…

He’s in an anime.

“Wow… this is like a Self-Insertion but… like, I was always in it… Hm… so no, not quite a SI…

But then, what is it?

“”

A loud primal roar, which really didn’t need an explanation, came from somewhere outside. Ranma rushed outside and paused just before stepping out the door. He turned around and glanced at his precious laptop. Could he risk it? Leaving it here seems…

“”

There’s no helping it, he must defeat the stupid monster and he must do it fast.

With that thought in mind, he ran outside and found that the source of his ire was non other than Pantyhose Tarou. He looked like he was strangling an innocent by stander.

Ranma readied an extra large Ki blast and was about to let it go when a chorus of yells interrupted him.

“NO!!!”

The pig tailed boy turned around and found himself look at his rivals and fiancées.

“Son in law, if you do that you’d have fried the poor boy in his grasp.” The old ghoul said.

Damn, she’s right.

Think Ranma, what do people do in Anime? What is it that can help me defeat him?

“Of course!” The boy suddenly shouted, smacking his fist against his palm. He craned his neck to look up at the monster and shouted. “Hey Pansuto, do you know what my middle name is?”

He ran up to it just as it shook its head. “That’s…. a secret!” He cried out, causing the towering monster to

…face fault?

The pig tailed boy quickly took the advantage of his downed enemy and beat it to pulp while his rivals and fiancées stared in confusion.

Materia’s blade, the forgotten hostage, sat in the ditch by the sidewalk. He was dazed from being shaken around by Tarou… no Michael.

What the heck just happened?

--- TT ---

In a dark secluded room, another writer was typing away on his computer when he was interrupted by three armored knights appearing out of no where.

Being an experienced author, this didn’t faze him one bit.

“I thought I told you guys to use door like normal people.” The young man stated without turning around. He saw no needs to be polite of Tri-Matter’s lackeys.

The trio fell onto their knees as one, showing deep respect for the author. The order were clear; enlist him into their force or else.

“Lord of Chaos, we bring dire news.” The knight in front said. “Prism Knight, your brethren has been slain by a young upstart name Materia’s blade.”

BD raised his eyes brows but otherwise did not react to the news.

“Black Dragon-sama, our master extends his condolences as well as a… covenant.”

“Is that so, what kind of… covenant… does he speaks of?”

“A war pact, my lord.”

“A war pact?”

“Yes, again the foul Materia’s blade, the usurper of peace and breaker of the fifty second law of Fanfiction dot Net.”

There was a momentary silence as Black Dragon contemplated the information.

“Number fifty second? Tell me, who that he deviate such information to.”

The three knights looked at each other, uncertain that they should review such information before having the writer on their side.

“Saotome Ranma, my lord.”

--- TT ---

Author’s note:

Yes, believe it or not, this silly idea is actually being continued. Now, I actually don’t have Black Dragon permission yet but I’m hoping he’d be a good sport and don’t mind.

Oh well, we’ll see.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story

REVIEW EVERYONE AND SEE YOU NEXT TIME