For days, the Imparroter followed the Black Raisin to the Isle de Dramatic Scene. Owing to the mysterious power of the Isle de Dramatic Scene, they could never actually meet on the ocean until they reached their destination, as dramatic scenes could only take place on the Isle de Dramatic Scene. So no dramatic scenes for this chapter, got it?

However, there may be some humorous, random or mildly interesting scenes, like now.

Currently, Bill was looking out to sea through the old telescope he’d just discovered while exploring the ship along with Jock, who was now rummaging through a chest full of dead parrots to find a good one to carry as a weapon in future. Bev was learning the art of sushi-making from Layla while they discussed the merits of learning Latin. It was rather peaceful, until Bill spotted something on the horizon.

It was a ship with the League of Men in White Wigs flag flying high, and as Bill watched, horrified and unable to move, he saw Norrrrringtonnnnn standing at the head of the ship in what he thought was a striking and heroic pose but really made him look a bit dodgy. Then Bill realised that in the time it took him to see this in a horrified manner, the ship had come close enough for the rest of the crew to see and take action against. His cry of, “enemies ahoy!” went blatantly unnoticed.

Bev and Layla were setting about lighting the cannons- however, this wasn’t as successful as they had expected as instead of cannonballs there were dead parrots, courtesy of Jock.

“He’s dead.” Bev muttered angrily, glaring at Jock. Layla simply started loading up the cannons with more dead parrots- they were mildly scratching and bruising the enemy, if nothing else.

And nothing else they did. Soon the League of Men with White Wigs had caught up with them and their ships stood about a metre apart while Norrrrringtonnnnn and Bev spoke rather awkwardly and ineloquently considering the passion of the battle.

“Um... so, we won I guess.”

“Yup, it kind of sucks.”

“So we’d like you guys to come over here, you know, since we have demands and all that.”

“Well, we’re out of parrots to throw at you so why not.”

So instead of the great battle and struggle you might have been expecting, the crew of the Imparroter were politely helped across to the ship and captain’s quarters of the League of Men in White Wigs. Told you there wouldn’t be a dramatic scene.

“So what are your demands?” Layla politely enquired, sipping her tea with milk, sugar and cocoa powder. Bev was gulping down strong, black coffee because she wanted plenty of energy to beat the living daylights out of Jock later, and the other two had juice from little plastic sippy cups owing to a tendency to scald their tongues and drop things.

“Well, firstly we’re obviously going to take over your ship. It’s a matter of principle and we’re a bit cramped here- not everywhere likes that when Colonel Handsy gets a bit tipsy.

“Also, we’ll drop off you ladies off when we finish our journey; after all, the League of Men in White Wigs is well known for its gentlemen. While you are travelling with us...” here Norrrrringtonnnnn paused while a hopeful- looking “gentleman” whispered a request in his ear, “will you make us sushi?”

Layla shrugged, and Bev said in a coffee-induced babble, “Finefinefine, but can we get on with this please, I have to hurt someone or do something or see a man about a flying monkey’s uncle, which I do not give about this- what the hell you looking at? You don’t know about being there-” She promptly passed out from lack of breath- but not dramatically. She simply slumped on the floor, was obviously OK and they moved on without one dramatic gasp, exclamation or sudden movement.

“Um... do you have waffle irons?” the ship’s cook, who was already there serving tea and being a suspicious coincidence in his presence, nodded confusedly. “Then it’s all good when it’s waffle time!”

Layla sat back and relaxed as her brilliant gift at killing conversations took effect.

To break the silence just before the chapter ended, Norrrrringtonnnnn delivered the bombshell- wait, that sounds too dramatic. The water bomb- wait, balloon. Norrrrringtonnnnn delivered the water balloon that didn’t splash so much as bloop.

“Oh, and Jock and Will are going to train to join the League of Men in White Wigs. That’s it, I think. More tea?”

The completely not dramatic end of scene. Yup.

NAKED WAFFLES! (Surprising, not dramatic.)

Naked waffles do not belong to me, they are a product of the dark corners of my friend Shelly's mind. Reviews are lovely, thanks