Author's Note: So this is totally random, and it really doesn't have much to do with the show. Well, in a way...anyway, I hope you like this one. I don't know if it meshes well, but I like it, despite the darkness. I love reviews, so please let me know. Enjoy!

Title: Numb

'Ship: Mer-centric...but with MerDer undertones. (The italics are from the past for Meredith, and a dream Derek has)

The music blared from Meredith stereo speakers and she stared up at her bedroom ceiling. She could hear her mother getting ready for work-banging around things, ignoring the fact that other than her music, Meredith prefered silence.

She'd never tell her mother, but she'd skipped school for three days straight. And there was a note conviently tucked in with the report card she'd never give her.

It's not like Ellis would care, anyway with everything going on at the hospital. She'd barely been home in the past week. Meredith heard the knock on the door, but didn't have to answer to know what it was for. Ellis was leaving, dinner was in the fridge and all she had to do was heat it up.

"If you have any problem, be sure to call Stacy...she'll be able to help you."Ellis said.

"Yeah."Meredith retorted, eyes stinging at the moment. Stacy was a neighbor whom Ellis trusted to take care of Meredith. She waited until she could hear the slamming of the front door before even attempting to sit up. She wiped her eyes, feeling her eyeliner smudge. It was cold, lonely..but it was highschool and her mother was a surgeon. Meredith was used to it.

Meredith's eyes fluttered open, staring at the white of the hospital room that surrounded her. Feeling the heavy weight of Derek's arms draped around her, Meredith knew she should feel safe. She did feel safe, but the reality of the moment struck her. Her mother was dead. Cristina was getting married.

Was it possible to be happy and sad at the same time?

The fact that her mother died didn't fill her with the sudden urge to drink like she expected it to. Instead, she just felt sad. An immense sadness that somehow, Meredith found the strength to know that she'd be able to get over.

She could feel Derek's breath on her, somehow being used as a security blanket. She wasn't speaking, he wasn't speaking. But neither were sleeping. Somehow, in the light of Meredith's accident, neither of them could find the room to sleep for long periods at a time.

Derek held on tight to her, constantly afraid thats he would slip away. Everytime his eyes would close his eyes, Derek saw Meredith in the water. He felt himself feeling like he was the one who was drowning, felt like his chest was tightening faster than he could breathe.

Slowly, his eyes started sliding shut. He tried to fight it, tried to hold on, but he couldn't. His eyes shut with a louder thud than Derek had expected. He was exhausted.

Derek was standing in the hallway, staring down at the floor tiles. He heard Mark's warnings about wearing out the floor tiles, about how if he didn't stop he'd wear himself out. Staring out the doors, he watched the worried expressions etched on the faces of Izzie and George. They kept returning, eyes hopeful. Everytime he had to shake his head, reciting the same two words: "Not yet."

Not yet was becoming too long. The longer they were in the room, the more Derek felt himself panicing. The door opened, Chief Webber exiting the room. A solemn look etched on his face, he stood regally, facing Derek.

"No."Derek muttered, finding no other words. He felt the water ushering past him, felt the chest compressions, heard the doctors. It wasn't real. It just couldn't be.

It wasn't true. When he awoke with a jolt, Derek saw Meredith laying close to him. He felt her breathing, her rhythym fairly even. Kissing the top of her head, he fought to find the words. There was so much he could say, but there was more he could do. He couldn't lose Meredith now, not after everything that had happened.

"It'll be okay."Meredith whispered, her lips dry. She felt small, almost minute. But in that minute, she knew it was what Derek needed. She knew how hard all of the doctors- Chief, Bailey, Addison and Burke fought to save her. She knew how Derek had suffered, being kept out of the room.

"I know."He whispered, thankful for the confirmation. It was all he needed. It was what he needed to know. Sometimes words weren't needed, but actions were. Actions were more important as Derek held her tight. Everything would be okay. It had to be.