First Twilight humor fic! Boo yah! XD Yeah, it may seem a little bit like twisted humor in the, but I hope you like it! This take place when both Jake and Edward have left Bella in New Moon...

Bella twirled the knife, contemplating her choices. Number one, she could set the acclaimed cooking utensil down and get on with what was left of her pathetic excuse for an existence. Yet, number two was so much more of an appealing idea.

Yes, it would definitely take away some of the emotional stress she was feeling and, dare she say it, satisfy her.

Jacob would like it though. Then again, what would he care? He had been avoiding her like the Bubonic Plague itself!

Charlie was a different matter entirely, sadly. He would get to come home and see the damage. The damage... Yep, he wouldn't be one bit happy 'bout that. No siree!

The knife gleamed tauntingly as she continued to twirl it in her fingers though. Oh my, was this piece of silverware attempting to seduce her?! It does seem so...

So Bella took the bait, holding her arm before her, perpendicular to her body. She swung the knife back and then forward in a single, fluid knife disconnected from her fingers and continued to fly onwards.

Ooooh! Right between the eyes!

Take that you despicable stick figure of Sam Uley!