A/N: Here's the latest, kids! Not a very eventful chapter, but it's all I can do right now.

. : Crash Course : .

Chapter Nineteen – Of Meetings and Horny Action Figures

Zack grew up among the trees they walked past, and Cloud trusted him in getting them there without getting lost. The sun was just setting when they came upon the edge of the small town, which was nestled in the foothills of the mountains.

Several children saw the two walking past, immediately stopped whatever game they were playing, and ran to tell their mothers that Zack was back. Almost all of the men in Gongaga were loggers, on account of the plentiful supply of trees surrounding them, and were just getting home to sit down to supper. Gongaga seemed to be steeped in old-fashioned tradition. When you paid a visit, it was like stepping fifty years into the past. This factor also made Zack sort of a celebrity, because he was the only person to leave the town and join SOLDIER. He was regarded as a brave young man and a traitor all at the same time. Shinra was not well-liked among the town's inhabitants and leaving your economically sound town to serve him was looked down upon by some of the elders.

But despite the mixed reputation, all the people the two passed waved and hollered, glad to see the friendly teen was safe back home for a visit.

Cloud already felt out of place.

- - - -

They continued on through the small town, which seemed to be constantly going up hill. Zack led Cloud onto another smaller dirt and gravel road once they got to the opposite end of Gongaga. The road turned left and seemed to wind up into the tall trees that leaned over it.

“Driveway,” Zack said.

Cloud was looking at the mailbox that was on the side of the road. It was black and looked like it had been beaten with a baseball bat. The cadet could barely make out “Fair” in the dwindling light, which was painted on the crushed side in white paint.

Zack glanced at the mailbox. “I told my mom to buy a new one with the money I send her, but she just mails it back. I wish she would just take it.” he said, starting up the road.

Cloud blinked and followed Zack. The cadet almost never had to buy anything, so he kept only a fraction of his pay and started sending the rest to his own mom like Zack did. And he always wrote a letter. She didn't send him the money back and she hardly ever wrote.

Cloud ached a little inside and tried not to fall too far behind Zack.

“Hey, Zack?”

“Yeah?”

“What does you mom do for a living?”

“She's a midwife.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we're really far from a hospital.”

“Cool,”

“I know. If I knock you up we can always run away to Gongaga and never have to be seen again!” Zack cried.

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I don't think you understand how that works.”

“Believe me, I do.”

A thought struck Cloud. A very important one. One so important that he was very surprised he hadn't thought of it already.

“Zack, does your mom know we're gay?” Cloud blurted.

The sergeant stopped and turned around to face Cloud. He shook his head. “No, she doesn't. And I think he's hellbent on finding me a girl.” he said. “I mean, moms have that sense sometimes, like they knew all along because of something you did or said or how you acted one time... but I've always acted... pretty straight.”

Cloud sighed. “Great.”

Zack shrugged.

“So... are we gonna tell her?” Cloud asked.

“Are you crazy? I have no idea how she'll react. And if you go behind my back and drag us both out of the closet I'll...”

“Can't hide it forever.” Cloud said.

Zack turned around and started walking again. “I know.”

At the top of the hill, the ground leveled off and in a clearing was a white two-story farmhouse with old-fashioned windows and siding. Cloud spotted a few chickens in the yard and tired-looking German shepherd was asleep on the porch.

“Home sweet home.” Zack said, grinning.

Their heavy boots crunching on the white rock driveway woke up the dog, who started barking ferociously. Cloud shrank back a little, closer to Zack.

“Shut up, Killer!” Zack growled.

The cadet's eyes widened. “Killer!?” he yelped.

A tall woman with long black-but-graying hair pulled back in a braid opened the screen door and stepped out on the the porch. “Barking at leaves doesn't name you look too smart, Killer—” She stopped head when she saw who was standing in the driveway.

“Gaia!” Katherine Fair cried and met Zack and Cloud at the steps, bopping Killer, who was still barking, on the head to silence him.

“Hi, Momma.” Zack said, smiling and giving her a good hug.

“I was wondering when you would be here.” she said happily, kissing Zack on the cheek and pulling back. “And this must be Cloud!”

“Hi, Mrs. Fair...” Cloud said, timidly extending his hand for a polite shake.

Katherine disregarded the hand and pulled the cadet into a crushing hug. “Mom will do just fine.” she said.

Cloud merely tried to nod, sure he would be asphyxiated by her breasts.

Zack laughed. “Mom, I don't think he can breathe.”

Katherine pulled back and smiled. “Sorry, hun. Oh, what happened to your elbow?” she asked, gently touching the cadet's arm.

Cloud now knew where Zack got his smile. He twisted his arm and looked at his scraped elbow, which was now scabbed over. “Zack tackled me.” he said simply.

Zack's mom turned to her son and cuffed him him the side of the head. Cloud let out a sudden short laugh, finding Zack getting beat up by his mom funny.

“Ow...” Zack mumbled, reaching up to massage the side of his head.

“Well, you boys came just in time, I was just getting ready to cook dinner.” Katherine said. “Let's get inside.”

Cloud and Zack took this as their cue to start acting like they weren't “together.” Without even discussing it they practiced walking up the porch steps farther apart than usual. Cloud subconsciously wanted to move closer—being near Zack was now as necessary as drawing breath.

Katherine turned right and went into the kitchen, and Zack led Cloud down the small hallway and through the living room, which looked homey and lived in. The cadet noted how immaculate his house was compared to Zack's because all Cloud's mom did was clean and clean and clean and clean all day. She would scrub until her hands were raw. Zack's house looked like his mom didn't have time for it, which Cloud liked.

“I'll show you my room.” Zack said.

“Okay,” Cloud replied, looking around.

The dark-haired teen started up the stairs, which squeaked loudly when he mounted them. Cloud followed, the stairs squeaking not-so-loudly. Zack turned and went down the hallway, coming to a door that was heavily decorated with a random assortment of pictures, stickers, drawings, and things cut out of magazines. He opened it, taking his buster sword off his back and tossing it on his bed with a grunt. He flicked on the light.

Cloud's head snapped around, slightly amazed. It was like everything that Zack was, everything that had anything to do with him was displayed on the walls and almost every other available surface in a massive collage.

“Wow,” Cloud breathed.

Zack grinned.

The cadet walked over to a wall to take a closer look at something that caught his eye. Zack closed the door. His mom was busy in the kitchen and it wasn't likely for her to come upstairs. He stood in the silence.

“Zack... you're like some sort of artist.” Cloud said.

The sergeant shrugged. “Nah. I just got bored and decorated a little part of a wall with some things I liked. It just sorta exploded.” he said.

“You're good a drawing.” Cloud said, gently running a hand over a few pencil sketches that were on the wall.

“Thanks,”

The cadet went over to a shelf to look at some of Zack's action figures that were in lewd positions. Optimus Prime was having buttsex with He-Man, Spiderman was getting a blowjob from Darth Vader, Donatello was riding Batman's face, and Wolverine and Cyclops appeared to be making out.

Cloud laughed.

Zack came up behind Cloud and wrapped his arms around him, resting his sword-calloused hands on the cadet's flat belly and giving him a gentle squeeze.

“What do you think of my mom?” Zack asked.

“She's really nice.” Cloud said. “I like her.”

“Good,” Zack said, kissing Cloud on the cheek.