It not mine! If you've read the previous chapters, you would know this already ya dumbass.

And if the disclaimer wasn't enough warning, yes there is naughty language in here.

And I would love to thank dwj for pointing out something I'm ashamed to have missed. Naughty Nikkums. Very, very bad!

And I would like to thank all of you for your lovely reviews and being this patient with me. I'm more of a gamer than I am a writer so this is a little weird for me. And continue sending me ideas! I loves all them plot bunnies, I do. Especially if you have an idea about what the Scarecrow would use as a pet name! Snugglebunny, anyone?

On to the story!

It didn't take me long to reach my apartment. It probably helped that I ran like I was being chased by those rabid porcupines I had been thinking about.

I think I'm safe now.

Hopefully, he was still curled up with my coat. Hopefully, he didn't learn anything about me but my name. Hopefully, he wouldn't be able to find me.

That's a lot of hope. Too much for me to actually trust in. I think it's time for a vacation. I've heard Metropolis is lovely this time of year. I'll pack after I've had a nice cup of tea. Yeah, that sounds nice. I'll have some Earl Grey and maybe a nap.

A nap in my favorite armchair couldn't hurt.

I really didn't feel like moving yet. It was nice and warm in my bed.

Wait a minute…bed?

Didn't I fall asleep in my armchair? I know that I definitely didn't have arms wrapped around my waist. Ah, hell. I really, really, really don't want to open my eyes right now.

I finally got brave enough to open my eyes and confirm my suspicions. Yep. It was the Scarecrow. He looked like he was having good dreams. Probably about me, damn it all.

How did he find out where I live? Harley might have said something. Maybe I left something in my coat pocket? Oh, shit! My bank slips! I had my bank slips in my coat pocket.

I am an idiot.

An idiot who was currently being cuddled by one of the most feared supervillains in Gotham.

Oh, lucky me.

At least one of us was happy.

How the hell was I going to get out of this one? Maybe I could repeat my last escape. I've wriggled from his grip before and I can do it again.

Or I could have done it again if my alarm hadn't gone off. Any hope that I had of the alarm not waking him up was shattered when he leaned over me to shut it off.

"Hi," he said.

Oh, God. The puppy-dog eyes. He was so happy to see me. I couldn't run from that. Not that I didn't want to. I just literally couldn't get out of his death grip.

"Uh…good morning?"

Eris cackled as the mortal wormed her way out of the Straw-Man's grasp, claiming that she wanted to "freshen up." Eris couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much as she watched the mortal's clumsy attempt to climb out her washroom window without alerting him. Watching the mortal run was amusing but it could be so much better.

Eris snapped her fingers.

There, that should do it.

Zoë tried to avoid crashing into debris as she sprinted down the alleyway. She didn't want him to learn of her escape too soon. The longer he didn't know she was missing, the farther she could run.

A lovesick supervillian is bad enough but a lovesick angry supervillian wasn't something she wanted to encounter.

Of course, figuring out where she would go was a completely different sack of porcupines. She had to get out of Gotham and fast. If she'd had the opportunity to grab some cash she'd be on the first flight to Ecuador.

Why Ecuador, you ask?

After her last vacation with Harley she was banned from ever entering many, many countries and Ecuador was one of the few she could.

There! There was her escape. A police cruiser had parked near the entrance of the alley she currently occupied. Surely they would help her?

Nope.

Wrong again, Smegface!