Chapter Three: Until My Dying Day

Come what may, come what may,

I will love you until my dying day.

Oh come what may, come what may,

I will love you,

Oh I will love you.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place.

Come what my, come what may.

I will love you until my dying day!

"Gods George! Just give me a little room to work with would you?" Thom heard his mother shout through his parents' closed door. He winced and his lower lip began to tremble. He knew his mother had a temper, but never had he heard it used on his father.

The poor boy heard loud, angry footsteps approaching the door and tried to get his fear under control, knowing full well who would be leaving the room with such a bad aura pulsing around her. He told his feet to move before he met his mother's wrath as well, but they were rooted to thoroughly that nothing up to his ankles so much as twitched, though his knees were clearly working. They trembled with unshod tears.

The door was wrenched open only to unveil a very cloudy Alanna. Unable to do anything else, Thom stared up at his mother, eyes sparkling like twin orbs of amethyst, just like hers. But his were exceptionally bright. Hers were dark with an urge to take out her mounting temper on something. Poor unfortunate Thom just happened to be right there.

"What are you standing there for?" she demanded, still caught up in her rage. When he did not answer, she pushed him unkindly out of the way and stormed down the stairs towards the entrance hall.

Unable to move from his spot on the side of the hall, Thom avoided being shoved by his father, who had a look of extreme confusion plastered on his face, a second later, as he raced after his strangely moody wife. His son heard a barely audible, "Gods, is it that time of the month already?" and young Thom had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

"Is this seat taken?" Alanna heard through her slightly fogged brain. She had ridden all the way from Pirate's Swoop to Corus that night and immediately went to the Dancing Dove for a blissful drink.

"Yes, and if you don't mind, I'd like to keep it that way," she spat out with unnecessary vigor, her words slurred only slightly, but only because she retained her self-discipline. Unfortunately for her, her little guest had had a lot of practice noticing the symptoms of being drunk having spent a lot of time in that very pub. And she was quite drunk.

"Now, is that the way to greet your master, squire?" asked the stranger. Alanna finally looked up from her tankard and squinted through slightly blurred eyes—to find the last person (besides maybe her husband) that she wanted to see. She groaned audibly.

"Do I really look hospitable right now, Jon?"

"Of course not—as usual—but that never barred me in the past now has it?" he tossed back with ease.

Unable to stop herself in her 'slightly buzzed' state (and not being in the mood for company didn't help either), Alanna tossed the rest of her ale on him and walked rather smartly—despite the slight swagger to her stance—out the doors, tankard still in hand.

"Well, that's never happened before…" a sopping Jon remarked to himself, staring after her, wide sapphire eyes peering through wet clumps of long, black hair, before he got up, plopped a few coins on the table and took a slightly more straight route through the swinging doors of the pub.

"Wait up!" Jon yelled after her.

"What is it with men?" Alanna wondered out loud to the heavens. "It's as though they don't think I can take care of myself."

"Well, I must admit you're not doing a very good job at the moment," Jon said, suddenly right beside her.

"How'd you get up here so fast?" the redhead slurred out, slightly taken aback.

"Well, you're not exactly walking in a straight line."

At that, she let out a dull 'Oh,' and looked back at the trail of muddy footprints etched in the ground for a second before looking back up at her former knight-master as though seeing him for the first time. "Did you get your hair cut?" she inquired somewhat dimly.

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason."

"Look, let me take you up to stay with Thayet and I at the castle. I'm sure she'd love to see you."

Alanna's suddenly unguarded emotions were quite apparent as her eyes clouded over and she muttered, "Ah. Thayet."

"Something wrong?" Jon probed with concern. He couldn't grasp what about his lovely wife would make her best friend say her name in that tone.

"Why'd we do it Jon?"

"Do what?"

"Stop."

Surprised, Jon did as he was told.

"Well?" Alanna prompted, using her arms for emphasis.

"You told me to stop."

"No, dolt, I asked why didwe stop."

"Stop what?"

"Being us."

"As in…?" Jon inquired tentatively, fearing that he already knew where this was going.

"Yeah."

Uh oh, Jon thought instantly. She's just drunk, that's all. She's not thinking clearly. But, why would she leave her home to get drunk in the first place, unless… "Because we were already bound. It was your idea remember."

"Someone wise told me that it takes two to make that kind of choice, Jon," she said calmly, for once. Jon didn't like where this was going. She was becoming lucid once more, yet not turning the conversation around. Well, that was fast, he thought. "Now that I think about it, I think that was my husband," she added, contemplating it for a moment. Jon seized the opportunity to change the subject.

"Yeah, now that you seem to be thinking a little more clearly, can you tell me why you rode all the way here from Pirate's Swoop just for a drink? …Well, make that a few drinks."

She sighed heavily. "Do I have to talk about it?"

"Yes. If only because a friend wants to help."

"Heh. Friend."

"I can make it an order, if you like."

"No thank you, but do I have to talk now?"

"No. I want you to sleep and head off the inevitably dreadful headache you're going to get in the morning."

"I suppose you're right." Even stubborn Alanna couldn't argue the logic in this, and being as tired as she was, it didn't seem like such a bad idea either.

"She just showed up out of the blue?" Thayet asked, confused.

Jon nodded his answer, still puzzling over the matrix that was Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau.

"What did she say, if anything?"

"I got an idea that she'd had some kind of argument with George, and then she just stormed out."

That just crinkled Thayet's beautiful face further. "She never fights with George. I wonder what happened. I can talk to her if you like, it seems like a 'girl-to-girl'-type discussion."

"No, that's alright. She ah…." Jon stopped. He didn't like where he thought the conversation would turn if he mentioned that Alanna didn't seem too enthused to be coming to the castle in the first place. Because of Thayet. Jon had a nasty feeling something rather catastrophic would happen to tomorrow and, not knowing what it would be, he was glad Thayet would be out with the Riders all day. He didn't want her in direct line of Alanna's undeniable warpath. "Nevermind. She's just a little… volatile at the moment." Thayet cocked an eyebrow, but made no comment either way.

"Isn't it amazing how one's life can go from good to bad to worse in the space of just a few days?" Alanna asked herself as she lay in her Champion's chambers once again. she was quiet for a while, then sighed. "I want my cat," she said to no one, then burst into tears. Angry tears. She cursed herself, Jon, George, and Thayet. Wasn't this what George was trying to prevent? He didn't want her abandoning her children for him to take care of alone. And she buried her face into her pillow remembering the look on young Thom's face as she shoved him out of the way. He looked so vulnerable, sad, and scared. No one should have to mishandled by their own mother.

Little did she know, she had thought about this all night and fallen asleep without noticing. She dreamt about her children pining for her at home. Oddly enough, George wasn't anywhere to be seen. She must have cried in her sleep because she awoke to someone shaking her, and a salty-tasting wet spot on her pillow.

"My Lioness doesn't cry," Jon reminded her in a kind whisper, rubbing his and along her back comfortingly. This only caused her to further bawl.

"No, Jon. I overreacted and I probably pushed my son away from me for life in the process." She turned over so she could look at him. Her eyes were as red as her hair and puffier than her pillows.

"How so?"

She breathed a few times before beginning. "George… George wanted me to stay home from the next few battles so I could spend more time with my children. Get to know them, you know. He wanted me to take a rest from my 'overactive life' he called it. He said that every good warrior needs a break once in a while. I know he was just being a good husband and just trying to help, but I flew off the handle. I said that if I took a break, I would get back into the game rusty, just like I did after I gave birth to my children. I didn't want that to happen again.

"I said that fighting is what I like to do, and he said, 'Obviously,' under his breath. I guess I do like to fight. But it's not just that—it's my life. I've spent my whole life perfecting myself to protect this kingdom. To protect you." She said this last bit staring right into his eyes. Her resolve was growing, as was her confidence. Jon felt his breath hitch slightly. He hoped she hadn't noticed, but by the way her lip curled up into a half-smile, he doubted that she hadn't. "You know the only thing that's kept me sane is knowing that you'll always be there to help me if I can't do something, even if I don't admit it," she added with a wry grin.

She sat up, brought her face very close to his, and shrugged nonchalantly, head pounding with a hangover, but she didn't care. He closed the last ten percent of distance between them and it lasted long enough to hear a knock at the door. Alanna collapsed against him in relief. Neither, even in their adultery, regretted anything anymore. They realized that there wasn't anything they could do about it anymore. Jon waited until Alanna could hold herself up, then went to the door, and found Thayet. They both invited her wholeheartedly in, not feeling guilty in the slightest.

"Are you alright, Alanna?" she asked, missing the glance she and her husband shared right in front of her.

"I'm fine." And she told her friend the whole story over again. As she told it, it seemed to make the pain more bearable.

"Well, I think you need to rest," the Queen said finally. "Jon, we should leave, let the poor woman sleep it off. Here's the hangover remedy, by the way. I put some sleeping herb into it too, so drink it." She smiled, beckoned to her husband, and walked out.

The two lovers stared at each other for a while. "Will I ever stop loving you?" Alanna asked, aware at how strange those words were, coming out of her mouth.

As cocky as he was in his twenties, Jon responded, "I doubt it."

Alanna could only smile, feeling better than she had for a while. She felt that now, when she went home, she could live her life properly, even though she would have to live with lying to her family. She was in love with two men, and she knew it…well, four, if you count her two sons, but nevermind. She would never conduct such an affair as she had when she was pregnant (as disturbing as thought was), but she could live with it. "Until my dying day, Jon." She whispered as he walked out the door.

Okay, that's it. The last chapter wasn't very good, I know, but I really had to finish it. The fact that it wasn't done was getting on my nerves.

KT