Author: sketched PM
Lil' Slugger meets his equal and opposite match...shall we call it love? Or a bitter, bitter rivalry? Slugger x OC...R&R pretty please? T for language and some angstynessRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Angst - Words: 1,861 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 01-29-07 - id: 3367927
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIM-A-MA-JIGGER: I don't own Paranoia Agent…however, I DO own Cree…cuz she is my PA fan-charrie…so there…
It will be told from Slugger's POV
Don't worry the whole thing won't be like this…there will be a lot more dialogue soon!! (:
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Wait for it…wait for it…THERE! I watched the old man come running around the corner. He must have been in his 40's because his pace was slower and he was breathing extremely heavily. Lucky day for him! He was my next victim! I dropped down from the fire escape I had been hanging upside down on and began the chase. This was the best part of my job as the "angel-son of the Devil", as I liked to think. Scraping my old bat on the pavement caught the man's attention, and I saw him turn his head. I plastered on my famous, unholy grin. He replied just the way I liked them to. A horrified look spread across his face and he began screaming like a mad man.
Wall. He'd gotten himself into the dead end of an alley. I stopped and raised my bat.
"Nighty night!" I grinned even wider as I was about to swing at the old, sniveling man…then…roller blades. I heard them above me. I looked up, feeling pissed knowing I'd been seen.
A girl…with a tennis racket and golden blades, like mine. But hers were a low rise brand and were designed like the winged sandals of the Greek god Hermes, wings and all. She dropped down to the ground between me and the old man, her back to me. I watched quizzically as she placed her thumbs on the guy's temples and cupped his face in her hands. She leaned her forehead against his.
"Go home…and tell you wife how much you love her. A child will be conceived tonight…a girl, strong willed with a good head on her shoulders. This should end your frustration and bring happiness to your family. Also, on your way home, on 2nd street you will meet a dog. Pet him, give him a name, and let him follow you, in that order. In return he will watch over you and your family. May God's angels look down upon you and give you the strength to believe and the courage to live." She mumbled this to the man and his frightened expression turned to excitement and joy. It was sickening. Who the hell do you think you are?! I thought to myself and just as I was about to swing my bat at her head I heard the man speak.
"Th-thank you!!" The guy stammered. At the same time I saw something break the skin of the girl's back. Two huge wings stretched themselves outwards, dripping in the blood of the girl. I took a step backwards, not really wanting to get involved anymore than I already was. A scene like this could attract anyone's attention, and I'd be caught. But my eyes were transfixed on the feathery protrusions fluttering from the girl's shoulder blades. They were a soft, off-whitish color but were somewhat mutilated, as if they'd been shot at by and army of sharp-shooters. What confused me even more was the fact that she appeared to be in no pain.
How the hell are still standing? A couple of friggin' wings just exploded out of you!! I tried to force myself to skate away but my body was frozen. Is this what my victims feel like just before I kill them? I didn't like the feeling.
"While I'm here," the girl spoke again, "it is my duty to relieve you of your sins and give back to you your…ummmm…virginity, for lack of a better word." At this I cocked and eyebrow and was feeling quite disturbed by the whole thing. Her wings seemed to stretch even wider and encircled her and the man. A flash of light, and the wings pulled backwards and seemed to be sucked back inside of her…the blood disappeared…no scars…no indication that they had ever existed.
"Oh yeah…the virginity thing…" She swung the tennis racket hard at the man's skull.
"Ooow!!" He cried out, and rubbed the back of his head.
"You are officially a forty-year-old virgin…congrats." She smirked and the man who got up and ran off without another word. The girl turned to me for the first time. I still had my arm raised ready to beat her to a bloody pulp, and quickly lowered it, unsure of what exactly I should do. I finally got a good look at her attire.
She wore pale-pink leg warmers above the blades and had non-matching thigh-high stockings on. The right one was a mesh fish net legging while the left one appeared to be a rainbow toe-sock…weird. Her black skirt was so…mini that I had to wonder if it was even her size. It was edged with white ruffles, like a maid's skirt, and hung so low on her waist that I could see two inches past her belly-button. Her forearms were covered in various stud bracelets and expensive looking watches. Each arm also had a card shark band positioned near her shoulders. Her top was…hardly a top at all. There was just enough fabric to cover her boobs and both ends were ruffled like the skirt. I could see her eyes through the thick-rimmed black glasses, what I'd heard had been called "emo glasses." Her eyes were a dark grey…so dark that I couldn't find her pupils. Long, blood red hair waved gently around her face, topped off by a black trench hat with a silver belt buckle. This is my kind of angel!
"Watchoo lookin' at? You act like you've never seen a girl with wings revive virginity with a tennis racket before!" Her cocky attitude bothered me.
"As a matter of fact," I sneered, "I haven't…nor had I planned on it. And furthermore, I am highly pissed off at you. That was my fun you just let go, and probably the only fun I'll get the rest of the night! I was going to kill him!! What did you do to him anyway? Why did you tell him to do that? About the kid and the dog?"
"I know who you are, Lil' Slugger, and I know what you do. It is your duty to set free the souls that are burdened by a great choice and are mentally cornered. I do the same thing, except without killing anyone. That man has tried for years to conceive a child with his wife and has failed, making her quite upset. I read his thoughts, saw the future and told him how to fix his dilemma."
"And that required him to regain his virginity why?" This girl was beginning to scare me…and not in the "Oh my God, I'm going to die!" way.
"It didn't…that's just part of my job…By the way, my name is Cree"
"No kidding…" I said sarcastically. "Well, congratulations, Cree. You're the first one to stand this long in front of me without dieing, and the first one to hold a decent conversation with a mass murderer. But now, for my own safety, I will kill you." I raised my bat, grinning evilly and swung it at her head.
PLINK…Faster than I could possibly comprehend, my bat was blocked by the racket and the once feet of space between us had turned into mere inches. She stood, I was just noticing, a good half of a foot shorter than me, but managed to block my hardest swing.
"You couldn't kill me even if you wanted to."
"I can see it in your eyes. I interest you, and you can't kill what you fancy."
She was right. There was no way I could kill her now. Not after knowing her name, how she worked, her angle…hell I even saw the color of her underwear when she flew over me…my pride was crushed and I was utterly disgusted with myself for not having the ability to kill this woman. But I wasn't about to tell that to her.
"I can kill whoever the hell I want to!"
FINE!!! I swung…and missed. I kept swinging and she kept blocking. I couldn't take it anymore! No matter how many times I swung at her she just stopped me.
Sssccrch…I looked down. Breaks! She had pushed her roller blade's breaks down. She was getting tired. This girl might be able to fight but she had no stamina. But I wouldn't bring myself to kill her…I couldn't…she was just too enticing to kill. The way her body curved and how every movement she made, even while fighting, was smooth and flowed to a beat that must have been drumming inside her. I had to end this fight now…before I was forced to kill her.
"Ah! Crap…hang on Slugger…important phone call…" WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Did she just stop our fight so she could answer the PHONE???AND she called me "Slugger???" It's LIL' Slugger you moron!! Cree pulled a silver flip phone from her tube top…Hehehe…her boobs are ringing…and vibrating…I couldn't help but snort out a laugh at my perverted thoughts…hehe…iBoobs…
"Talk to me…uh-huh…no it's not…no way!?!...what about Lil' Slugger?…gotcha…on my way, chief…" She placed the phone back into her top. All the while I was desperately suppressing my laughter at the mp3 playing boobs of the future. "SLUGGER!!" Cree shouted.
"…hehe…a-WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!"
"You're coming with me."
"Like hell I am!!!" Honestly I almost wanted to go with her. But not in the way she intended on taking me…
"You have to…" Cree pulled a leash and collar off of her right arm…God only knows why it was there…and before I could react, attached it to my neck.
"What the-???" I clawed at the collar but it wouldn't come loose. "Damn it, woman! Why the hell did you put this thing on me?"
"So you wouldn't escape!"
My already crushed pride was further ground up, sent through a blender, fed to a cat with rabies, turned into cat crap, and disintegrated into the most unholy, unwanted piece of earth in the universe…Damn…
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"…strength to believe and the courage to live…." -the theme Bible verse from TN Resurrection '07
R&R please! And I know Lil' Slugger was a little OOC…NO COMMENTS ON HIS OOC-NESS!!! Pleez… :0