|Not Like I Need to Defend My Own Innocence
Author: IchigoxKurosawa PM
Itachi definitely didn't see this coming. Sasuke is a lot harder to handle then he thought! But, he loves his little brother anyway. Summary changed again! Rated M for language and sexual contentRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Itachi U. & Sasuke U. - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,287 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 06-20-07 - Published: 02-01-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3371830
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey, it's me again... yeah, this chappie may be longer, I dunno... UNBETA'ED!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto cuz if I did, Jiraiya would've jumped Naruto as soon as he saw him... Eh heh...
Look at Me, Look at Me, Look at Me
At least look at Me when you shoot a bullet through my head
Bullets, Creed, Weathered
Sasuke stared out the window, staring at the rain that seemed to be like tears falling from the sky. 'I wonder... if it's crying because... Naruto left...?' It had been at least two years since Naruto left to go join Sasuke's brother. But it seemed, he enjoyed living there. Sasuke smiled sadly at the thought, thinking of what Naruto said in the note.
Hey, Sasu-teme, how's life been treatin' a bitch like you? Well, everyone here is almost like a brother to me... except Kazuku, who hates me, and Deidara... which I'll explain later... Heh, yeah, hey, Ita-nii-san wanted me to ask you something. So, I'm coming over there in two weeks from the date at the top. Please, actually think about it cause I'm soooooooo bored here. The fights with you were probably some of the funnest (and funniest) things I've ever done. Well, see ya then, pessimistic bitch,
Sasuke blinked and looked at the calender. "Shit." Today was the day Naruto would come to talk to him. "Wait... pessimistic bitch?" Sasuke glared at the note, unable to think of anything intelligent to say to that. "Forget it..." Sasuke threw the note in the air just as the doorbell decided to ring. "Coming!" Sasuke started thinking again, something he probably shouldn't do much...
'Wait, what kind of man calls another man 'bitch'!?'
"A gay one, obviously."
'Bloody hell!? Did my brain just speak back to me!?'
"... For an Uchiha, you're not very intelligent are you? I'm your conscious, effing moron..."
"Sasu-teme, open the friggin' door! It's cold and I'm weeeeet!" Sasuke's eye twitched at the annoying voice; it was calmer without him screeching at everyone. "Shut up, dobe. I'm coming..." Sasuke threw the door open to reveal a very wet Naruto. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the scene, his 'conscious' laughing like a mad man. "Hurry up, Deidara will complain if I'm not back soon and Itachi will throttle me." Sasuke nodded very slowly as he stepped aside to let the blonde inside. "Besides... I'll tell you in a moment... Can I have something to drink?" Sasuke gave him a look like he was retarded, but nodded and stalked off to get him some water as he sat on the couch.
"Now, tell me what Aniki wants?" Naruto looked at him over the cup, blinking. "Oh... oh... He wants you to come live with him." Sasuke lost his balance and his 'conscious' stopped breathing for a moment... if it even could. "What... I mean... Huh!?" 'Huh' being the only 'intelligent' thing he could say. "Ita-nii-san says he misses you and says you're probably lonely here and wants you to come live with me, him, and everyone else."
"He... misses me?" Naruto nodded vigorously, finishing off the water. "Hai. So, what'd you say? He says he'll give you a few days if nee-!"
"Sure." Naruto blinked, taking a few minutes to let the answer sink in. "Wait... you said 'yes'? Just like that?" Sasuke nodded slowly, blinking once. Naruto's smile slowly grew larger until he jumped up and grabbed Sasuke's wrist. "C'mon! Let's go now... 'Cause I need to get there soon!" Sasuke stared at him bluntly as the blonde dragged him out the door and into the heavy downpour.
Itachi growled and threw the pen across the room at Deidara's head, who was pacing across the room, biting his fingernails. "The retard will be fine, it's just my brother fer Chrissakes!" Deidara glared, pointing accusingly at him. "Did you call Naruto a retard!?" Itachi nodded rather amusingly. Deidara was about to speak when something orange and wet ran and tackled him. "DEI-KUN!" Sasuke just stared at the sight before blinking.
"No, Naruto, you're wet! You're gonna catch a cold and then... NO MORE PLAYING FOR A WHILE!" Naruto blinked stupidly, but hugged Deidara tightly. "Neh, so?"
"Dare I ask?" Sasuke gave an uninterested look to left, which his gaze happened upon his brother. "Hello, Aniki." Itachi groaned and rammed his head into the wall twice. "Gawd, you and formalities. Can't you ever just say 'Hey, whazzup?' I can't believe I'm related to you." Sasuke raised an eyebrow, staring at his brother oddly. "I know, no, and neither can I." Itachi sighed and leaned back in the chair. "Prick..."
"ITA-NII-SAN!?" Itachi almost jumped at the loud voice, along with everyone else in the house. "H-hai, Naru-kun?" Naruto gave him the pout that Deidara had originally fallen for instantly. "Can I go play wiff Dei-kun now?" Itachi threw a pen at Deidara. "Freakin' pervert! Now he has nothing else on his mind! You have corrupted him!"
"Have not!", Deidara retaliated. Itachi glared at them both but waved them off. "Fine, but if I can hear you down here, I'm coming up there with another welder and chainsaw..." Naruto jumped up, grabbed Deidara's hand, and ran off, giggling like a school girl. Sasuke, on the other hand, looked like he was about to get sick. "Erm...?" Itachi groaned on the other side of the room. "I know, they got together last year. So, I take you accepted my proposal?"
"Hai, Ita-sa-!" He was stopped mid-sentence by a book being thrown at him. "NO FORMALITIES! It's freakin' annoying!" Sasuke rubbed his head and pouted (though you couldn't tell). "Okay, okay... But yeah, I did." Itachi laughed like a child inwardly but kept his (somewhat) serious expression etched onto his face. "Then, go outside and I'll get someone to introduce everyone and show you around. 'Kay?" Sasuke nodded and walked outside, sitting in one of the chairs by the large doors.
"Oi, Itachi's brother!" Sasuke turned and glared at whoever called out to him. "My name is Sasuke." A booming laugh was heard, and Sasuke nearly jumped. "I know! Itachi-san never stops talking about you!" Sasuke blinked and pondered a moment, again, a bad idea.
'Wait... Itachi's always talking about me?'
"No duh, dipshit. Didn't he just say that?"
'You again!? Can't you just leave me alone!?'
"Nah, this way too fun. Besides, my job is SUPPOSED to be I have to stop YOU from making STUPID decisions, but go ahead. I find it rather amusing."
'... I really hate you right now...'
"And that's the particularly funny part of my job. Fun, actually."
'Screw you. I think that guy's trying to talk to me.'
"Oi, Sasuke?" Sasuke blinked and shook his head a few times. "Huh?" The man blinked but laughed loudly again. "I said my name's Hidan and sorry Naruto couldn't get you... He's... 'busy' with Deidara." Sasuke gained a somewhat disgusted look on his face and Hidan laughed once more. "What can you say? The two idiots were meant for each other!"
"I'm sure... two blonde idiots... seems to be a lot of them..." Hidan nodded and walked off, motioning for Sasuke to follow. He stopped infront of two large doors. "C'mon. I'll introduce you to everyone." Sasuke nodded and followed him into a large living room. Everyone stopped what they were doing to turn and look at him. "Hidaaaaaaan, who's that?" Hidan turned and looked at a man whose skin was painted two different colors. "Oh, this is Sasuke, Itachi's younger brother." The man lowered himself slightly so only his eyes and the top of his head could be seen over the top of the couch. "Ooooh. Well, I-I'm Zetsu... N-Nice to meet y-you, Sas-kun..." Hidan waved and walked off, Sasuke slowly following after.
"Why was he stuttering?" Hidan laughed softly. "He's just shy around new people. He's also gaaaaayyyy, but whaaaaatever." Sasuke blinked but shot his hand in the air. "Um, yes?" Hidan stared somewhat incrediously at him. "Is everyone here gay or something?" Hidan blinked and scratched his cheek, looking to the left. "Uh, yeah, you pretty much got it figured out." Sasuke groaned. "Greeeeat. I'm stuck in a house of gay people who could molest me 'cause I'm 'fresh meat'." Hidan let out the loudest laugh Sasuke ever heard and it shook the windows. "Don't worry, only two of us are actually pedophiles, and so far, none of us are rapists."
"P... pedophiles? Who?" Hidan pointed to a man with a hooded face and scarf around his lower face. "First, him. That's Kazuku. He's major pedophile." Sasuke turned to stare at the wall with disgust and fear for his life AND virginity.
"Heeeeeey, Hidan. You never told me who the second pedophile was." Hidan turned and nodded. "Later, you gotta meet everyone else. There! That's Tobi." The man called Tobi turned to them and flipped them both off, earning two blunt looks from both Sasuke and Hidan. "Well, that was a waste of two seconds from my life." Hidan turned and walked onward, stopping when he saw someone, and Sasuke ran into his back. "And that's Kisame."
"HIIIIIIIII!" Sasuke's eye twitched involuntarilly, as Hidan walked up the fish man. "UUUUUUUUWWW! Is that Ita-kun's brother?" Hidan nodded rather slowly, Sasuke trying to run away but Hidan grabbed him. "Well, we're off. You can talk to him later, okay?"
"OKAAAAI!" Sasuke wanted to curl up into a dark corner and avoid the fish man... he practically oozed 'I'm gay and adore Uchihas'. "Hmm, we've seen Deidara, Zetsu, Kazuku, Tobi, and Kisame. I believe that's all of us." Sasuke sighed contently. "Thank gawd, half of 'em creeped me out. Kisame practically oozed 'I'm highly gay and worship Uchiha Itachi!'." Hidan laughed but nodded, turning to leave but Sasuke called out to him. "Hey, who's the second pedophile?"
"Ooooh, that's easy. It's Itachi!" Sasuke's mind stopped working at that moment. And he went to his conscious, yet again.
'What the fuck!? Aniki's a pedophile!?'
"Isn't it amazing how life works out like that?"
'But... but... '
"Hmm, now let's put the information together. Itachi summoned you here... Itachi's always talking about you... aaaaaannnnd, let's not forget... Itachi's an effing pedophile! Put this all together in some magic cauldron and we get... hmm... That can't be good..."
'What!? And what the hell are you talking about?! There's no magic freaking cauldron!'
"It would seem your brother has developed a forbidden love for you..."
'... Nani?... Hello? You there anymore? What'd you mean forbidden love? He's my brother, for crying out loud!'
"Sasuke, are you okay?" Sasuke jumped and turned to see who brought him from the dark recesses of his mind.