Author: Lord Stingdingdingdingdingworth PM
After entering a fanfiction contest, the straw hat become aware of the abuse they've suffered at authors hands and head for their HQ for some payback. It wont be easy though, with all the fanfic:dot:net authors in their way...Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,037 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 08-14-07 - Published: 02-01-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3372337
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
First off, I'd like to thank the authors who gave me permission to use their names in my story, those people being:
I hope you like what I do to you in this story.
This story is set out after Franky joined but before Brook. So you may or may not see some spoilers.
Anyway, enough talk LET'S GET STARTED!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. But I the rights to use these losers, I mean, wonderful people in my story... I'm sorry PLEASE LET ME STILL USE YOU!
It was a sunny day on the Thousand Sunny. Everyone was sitting and relaxing as they sailed across the seas of the grand line.
Nami was reading the paper, when something caught her eye.
"Hey guys!" said Nami "Come check this out!"
Everyone ran up to Nami (except Zoro who was training). "What is it?" asked Chopper.
"Look!" said Nami as she showed them an article in the paper about a literature convention taking place tomorrow "It's on the next island, we should go check it out!"
"It sounds cool!" said Luffy.
"Um... no offense but do know how to read Luffy?" asked Franky "You don't seem like the uh... 'Educated' type"
"Sure I can!" said Luffy "At least I think I can!"
"Hmm" said Sanji "I wonder if they'll have my reading favourite material there... hehehehe!"
"So should we go?" asked Robin.
"Yeah!" said Usopp "I always like to read a good book! I can pick up a few when we get there!"
"Cool!" said Luffy "Now let's go play monopoly!"
"YEAH!" shouted Franky, Usopp, Franky and Chopper as they ran after Luffy. (Don't ask why I put there, 'cause I just don't why)
Robin smiled when they boys left the room.
"So Nami" said Robin "What's the real reason you want to enter this contest?"
"This" said Nami as she pointed to a section about a story competition "First prize is 50,000 beli! And I know I can win that contest with the story I'm entering!"
"Which is?" asked Robin.
"Duh!" said Nami "A story about all of our adventures! Fighting Buggy, Enies Lobby, the Baroque Works. I could write about the Davy Back Fight, our journey in Skiepia, I could write about anything!"
"And what do you plan to spend the money on?" said Robin.
"Who knows" said Nami "Maybe I'll go on a little shopping spree"
"Sounds good" said Robin as she left the room "Good luck!"
"I don't need luck" said Nami as she began to write her story "I've got you guys"
The next day the crew boarded the island where the convention was been held. It was being held in a convention hall, the crew arrived an hour after the convention was opened and it was already jammed packed with people.
"Wowwie!" shouted Luffy in excitement as he began to run around the convention hall.
"Cool!" said Chopper as he saw a stall selling medical books.
"Booh-yah!" cheered Franky and Sanji when they found a... ahem "Adult Magazine Stall".
Usopp walked over to a book called "Strawhat's Mother?!" (My story bitches!)
"What the hell?" said Usopp as he picked up the book and flicked through, but before he could read anything the stall owner said "Piss off! This ain't a library!"
Usopp shrugged and placed the book down and walked away, and forgot about instantly when he saw Franky and Sanji and there new reading material.
"I'm off to enter that story" said Nami "You wanna come with Robin?
"Sure" said Robin as they headed off.
Zoro walked around looking for a few minutes "Nope. Nothing here for me" He then walked by a stall with a book on the counter called "How to write a good ZoLu story" Zoro raised an eyebrow when he saw this. "ZoLu, I've never heard that word but it seems so familiar" said Zoro.
Then he saw some other titles.
"10 tips for the perfect SanNa story", "UsoSa story tips", "Zosopp for Dummies", the list seemed to go on for all these weird titles.
Zoro's curiosity got the better of him so he purchased a book called "ZoSan made easy" and was horrified with what he saw inside.
Nami handed her story to a man sitting at a table.
The man had a quick read-through and had a confused look on his face.
"Are you sure you wish to enter this story?" said the man.
Man called over three people, each one with a judge badge, and asked them to look up Eiichiro Oda.
Moments later the judges return and handed the man a piece of paper, the read it and then stamped Nami's story and put it in a pile with the rest of the stories.
"I didn't like the looks of that" said Nami as they walked over to a café in the center of the convention hall.
They stopped before they reached the café as they noticed a circle of chairs nearby.
"I wonder what that is?" asked Nami.
"Hi" said a man as he stood up "My name is Paul, and I have a fear of Penguins"
"Hello Paul" said the group.
"Is that Luffy sitting over there?" asked Robin as she pointed to a chair.
"Good God it is!" said Nami.
"Hi" said Luffy as he stood up "I'm Luffy, the starter of this intervention club! Um... I don't think I have any problems so let's talk to the next guy!"
"Hello" said a clown wearing a pirate hat as he stood up "My name is Buggy, and I have an obsession with killing a kid called Monkey D. Luffy (Wasn't paying attention when Luffy was talking, vice versa with Luffy right now). I want to find him and kill him so badly that I'm beginning to hallucinate him wherever I go"
Buggy looked to Luffy sitting next to him and his eyes bulged out.
"OH GOD!" screamed Buggy "IT'S ANOTHER HALLUCINATION!"
Buggy kneeled to the ground and began to punch it whilst crying.
"Dammit Luffy! I must find you so I stop seeing you everywhere!" screamed Buggy "WHERE ARE YOU!"
With that, Buggy got up and ran off screaming and flailing his arms around, until he was escorted outside by security.
Nami walked over to Luffy and pulled his ear then let it go, snapping Luffy in the head.
"Luffy what the hell are you doing?" asked Nami.
"Starting an intervention!" said Luffy "Wasn't that the point of coming here?"
"This is a convention not an intervention!" said Nami.
"Oh!" said Luffy beginning to get an idea of what Nami was talking about.
"Besides Luffy" said Robin as she walked up "What you've started is a support group, and intervention is when someone has an addiction and friend and family members of that person talk to them and help realise they have a problem and send them to a rehabilitation clinic"
Luffy just sat there with a blank expression for a few seconds "Let's get something to eat!"
With that, Luffy ran off to the café.
Nami and Robin sighed, and then followed him.
Usopp, Franky and Sanji were all walking and carrying their "Mature Reading Material", each one had tissues up their nose to stop the bleeding.
"So... much... porn..." said the three, almost in a trance.
The three sat down on the table where Luffy, Nami and Robin were sitting.
Robin gave the boys death glares when she saw the porn.
The three realised that they were in trouble.
"There you go Sanji" said Usopp and Franky in synch as they placed the magazines on the table "But that's the last time we're carrying these filthy magazines for you!"
The two ran off leaving two trails of dust behind them.
"GET BACK HERE YOU ASSHOLES!" screamed Sanji.
Nami was not even paying attention to them as she was concerned about the reactions she got from those judges.
"I wonder what was wrong with it" thought Nami "It can't be that they think it's fake because I placed under fiction category just in case. Maybe they called the Navy and alerted them of our presence! No, that wouldn't be it. I guess I'll find out when they announce the winner"
"Will all entrants of the FFN story competition please make their way to the judges table"
"I better get going" said Nami "Wish me luck!"
At the judges table a man wearing a blue tuxedo and had slicked back brown hair stood in front of it.
"Hello everyone and welcome the FFN Story competition!" said the man in an upbeat voice "Sponsored by Fanfiction(dot)net! Unless leash your imagination today! The judges have decided and they have placed the places on the board next to me! All winning entrants please come up to the judges table for your prize!"
Nami walked over to the board and was shocked at what she saw.
Her story didn't come first, or second, it wasn't on the top 8, and it wasn't even on the board.
"What's going on?" thought Nami then she gave a twitch when she found her story at the bottom.
Adventures of the Straw-hat pirates by Nami DISQUALIFIED
Comment: "Taking something straight from the manga does not count as a story"
Suddenly, the whole world around Nami seemed to go silent.
"Manga..." said Nami "What the hell?"
She turned to the board at read the other stories description.
One was about Zoro, Luffy and Sanji getting drunk and playing strip poker, another story was about Nami admitting her feelings to Sanji (Nami almost threw up when she read that), and the winning story was about the whole crew having a huge sex orgy to celebrate Franky joining.
"What's going on here?" said Nami, this was scaring her.
She asked for copies of all the stories in the contest, which cost 25 beli each, she paid for each one and took the stories back to where the crew was sitting.
"What the hell is this!" screamed Sanji as he read the stories Nami had shown the crew.
"Blasphemy!" shouted Franky as he tore up a story "Absolute bullcrap! Dumbest piece of shit I've ever fucking seen!" (And now you know why this a "T" rated story)
"Ahem, Franky" said Nami "That was the story I wrote"
"Really?" said Franky looking at the paper he ripped to shreds "In that case, you need to work on writing stories more! I mean Defeating the CP9? Come on, who would believe such crap!"
"You were there Franky!" said Usopp.
"I think I'd remember if I defeated the CP9" said Franky with a chuckle.
Zoro walked up to the table and pulled out Wadó.
"Ok" said Zoro "Everyone line up, you'll feel my sword's wrath one at a time"
Everyone looked to Zoro.
"What did we do this time?" asked Sanji.
"One of you wrote this" said Zoro as he threw the book he wrote earlier onto the table "Who did it? Who's got the big diaper?" (One of my favourite Stewie lines from Family Guy)
Sanji read the book and screamed.
"WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT!" screamed Sanji.
"At the stall over there" said Zoro pointing to the stall near "Luffy's Intervention".
The whole crew ran over to the stall, and saw no one there.
The books were all still there though. Each one with a cover on how to write a story on each pairing.
"This is disgusting!" said Robin.
Usopp saw "NaSopp on the go" and giggled "Yeah right! As if I'd ever fall in love with Nami!"
Nami turned to Usopp. "What's wrong with me?" asked Nami.
"Does that really matter right now?" asked Franky.
"Who would write such a horrible thing?" asked Franky.
"Look at this!" said Chopper, pointing at the bottom of the page.
Published by FFN.
"The Fanfiction site wrote this?" said Nami.
"What's FFN?" asked Chopper.
"It stands for FanFiction(dot)Net, Chopper" said Robin "It is a place where you can post and read stories. And by the looks of things, people do stories about us"
"We can't let them do this!" said Luffy "We have to find the location of FFN and shut them down, or our dignity will be shattered to pieces!"
Everyone stared at Luffy.
"I haven't said anything in awhile" said Luffy.
"Well I agree with Luffy!" said Nami "We need to find these bastards and shut down there twisted organization!"
"But where is their location?" asked Chopper.
"Author Island" said Robin "And there HQ is the FFN Castle, in the very center of the island"
"How do you know?" asked Usopp.
"Um, I just know" said Robin "Uh, I mean, I read it in a book"
The crew seemed a little confused by Robin, but ignored it.
"Well let's go!" said Luffy, with that the whole crew ran out of the convention.
"Be right with you!" said Franky as they ran out the door. Franky sneaked over to the table they were at before to pick up the porn he bought.
When he got to the table, half of the porn was gone.
"Where the hell did the rest of the porn go?" said Franky, but Franky didn't have time to wonder, so he grabbed what was left and ran after the crew.
Meanwhile, sitting two tables away from Franky was a man wearing a black cloak covering his face, holding the porn.
"Well, well, well" said the cloaked man "They're heading to the island? As I thought they would"
He looked at the porn he was holding.
"Looks like coming here benefited me in more ways than one" said the man.
The crew (With Franky running behind) hopped onto the ship.
"Set sail!" said Luffy "To Author Island!"
(I could end it on this line, BUT...)
The crew sailed out and passed Buggy on a lifeboat (Courtesy of the security, who wanted him off the island) Buggy looked up and screamed.
"AH! WHY DO THE HALLUCINATIONS HAUNT ME SO!?!" screamed Buggy.
So that's the first chapter, I hope you all enjoyed it. So yeah... more soon! Maybe in 2-3 weeks or less.