Chapter 1: Strike One

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"Greetings, fellow scientists!"

Professor Membrane was holding an exhibition. Countless scientists sat before him in a large stage somewhere in Membrane Studios, and the exhibition piece was no larger than the professor's head, standing next to him on a pedestal, covered by a tarp. He looked very excited about this covered thing, so it must have been something wonderful. Any more wonderful than what he'd come up with in the last hour? Perhaps.

"I bet you're all wondering why I've called you here today. Well, you know Valentine's Day is coming up in a few days, right?"

There was a murmur across the crowd, but quickly silenced as Membrane raised a hand.

"Based off the age-old tales of Cupid and using modern genetic engineering technology, I have created a real, living, love-inducing creature! Like the fictional Cupid, it will use a bow and arrow to spread love with the normal community, arrows coated with a substance that will excite the endorphins in the brain to create a feeling like love once the subject sees his or her dream mate. This substance enters through the subject's backside (via a coated arrow-tip, nonmetal so technus won't be a problem), traveling through the bloodstream, until it triggers the correct synapses to induce love. If the person in question happens to be holding a grudge against said other person, it will have to shoot them twice to get the same effect. Now, it's only in the experimental state, but once Valentine's Day rolls around all the bugs should be worked out..."

The scientists clapped and cheered like sheep, clearly not in the state to argue how dangerous such a creature could be. Using the audience's applause as a cue, the professor gripped the tarp's end, preparing to yank it off in a dramatic flourish.

"I give you... Cupid!"

He yanked. The tarp fell off, revealing a regular birdcage.

The audience gasped.

The birdcage's door was open, swaying a bit from the draft caused by Membrane's dramatic tarp-pulling. One could see the evidence of "Cupid"'s stay in there, such as droppings and some undeterminable things that were probably alive at one time. There was no sign of the creature, or it's love-inducing weaponry.

Membrane frowned.

"Oh dear," He said, in an only remotely anguished voice. "It's gone."

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Tak was back.

Irritating rhyme aside, it was true. There she was, standing in plain sight in the middle of the park. Standing in plain sight in front of a wrecked ship that she had stolen from a would-be thief that had decided that escape pod floating around aimlessly might have something of use. That bastard was dead, like his ship. His blood still flecked her uniform where she hadn't bothered to clean it. He had experienced only a fraction of what happens when you leave a vengeful female in space for several months, nearly a year.

A fraction of what she would expend upon Zim.

If it wasn't about revenge then, it was now. And Irk help whoever else stood in her way.

Accompanying her was Mimi. Mimi had only spent perhaps a few days, no longer than a week, as a useless floating muddle of parts. It would have taken her sooner to put the robot back together, if it wasn't for the fact she had been trying to do a delicate and fussy operation in the throes of burning rage. One could see a few dents on Mimi's head and body resulting from that, but other than that, she was mostly perfect, save a few spazzes now and again where she would act like GIR.

The last time she did that, Tak had to stop herself from punting the poor thing into the horizon. It wasn't her fault, after all. It was that stupid robot of Zim's. No, it was Zim's fault. All of this. Every last thing - even the fact that a bird just did his business on her scalp - was Zim's fault. Said bird was soon vaporized. No humans were around to witness this event.

Her features contorted into a snarl that caused small animals to run in terror, she marched. Marched toward the house and the hellion responsible for all her torment and anguish and--

Her monotonously vengeful thoughts were brought to a screeching halt as something very sharp jabbed into her rear, causing her to let out a yowl of pain. She reached around to find the culprit, pulling it out (with another pained, muffled cry) and inspecting it.

It was probably the gayest looking arrow she had ever seen, to use vulgar human terms. Light pink shaft, fluffy downy baby duck's ass-feathers on the end, the blood-spattered tip fashioned in the shape of a heart with an extremely pointy end. This was also pink, although of the darker variety. She growled and tossed it aside, glaring at Mimi now, who appeared to have no idea what was going on.

"Well, someone's not doing their job," She said darkly, indicating the arrow with a pointed jerk of her head.

The robot just shrugged.

Tak sighed and continued her march, Mimi marching alongside.

During this march, a very strange feeling had intersected itself with her rage. It was a fuzzy, mellow feeling. Ten months spent nursing that rage were not wasted, as it was still the dominant feeling. But still. It probably had something to do with that gay arrow. Perhaps it had been poisoned. If that was the case, then even poisoned and on her deathbed she would kick Zim's ass.

She kept marching right into Zim's yard. Kicked the heads off his gnomes. Went right up to the door and drop-kicked it into the house.

"Zim!" She snarled, storming inside. "I've come for you, you dirty little freak! And this time it actually is for revenge!"

Nothing. No one. The house was empty. The clock that sat lazily beside the TV said it was one thirty Earth time. She didn't remember the clock. But it didn't matter, as said clock was then thrown across the room, accompanied by a frustrated shriek that sounded as though it ought to be coming out of some hideous beast rather than herself.

The next few minutes was devoted to destroying the upper, home level of Zim's base. Furniture, fabric - anything that wasn't nailed down was ripped to shreds, anything that was ripped out of wherever it was nailed to and experienced various methods of abuse. The computer had tried to stop her, in its own lazy way, but she single-handledly dismantled most of the visible cables, just enough to screw something up in there.

She perched upon the remains of the couch, and waited. If nothing else, she was patient. And what was two more hours?

The strange feeling hadn't gone away - in fact, it had actually gotten worse, probably due to the exhilirating sport of destroying furniture. But she focused on the rage and stewed it, and every time a surge of mellow came up, she would remind herself of why she was here. Kill Zim, take Earth. Kill Zim, take Earth. Screw Earth, just kill Zim. Torture him first. Kill Zim. Torture Zim. Kill Zim.

This became a mantra, and she was almost sure that stupid buzz was gone. And then a pair of shapes appeared in the doorway, one Irken.

One Irken that got a look that probably could have burned the flesh off his skull, even as he glanced around confusedly at the damage she had caused.

"Hello, Zim," She purred, voice like poison. "I'm back. And guess what? I don't care about your stupid fake mission. I just want you dead. But first, I want you to scream."

He obeyed.

As he ran in the opposite direction.

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Me and my dumbly short chapters of EVERYTHING.

LOOK! A HOLIDAY FIC! RELEASED BEFORE THE HOLIDAY!

It's a novel concept.

Rest assured, this doesn't mean Avarice and others won't be worked on. Their updation shall simply be postponed until this fic is completed. They're not gonna die. Geez. Put away the flowers. And no conga lines.

Review, y0.