Hello! :) Sorry for the long wait.

Part V: OMG! A CLIFFY! (And some smut)

Well, I guess it was about time I turned the spotlight on the phrase that has seemingly, though involuntarily, turned into my trademark catchphrase…

Now, it depends on you. Even if the story is pretty predictable, a well-placed cliffhanger can always lift it up. A good writer knows when and where to put them. And jut one more thing… a good writer never, never ever, NEVER EVER EVER says: ”OMG! A CLIFFY!” Gee, did you think the reader did not notice…? Thank you very much for the trust in our intelligence!

Also, Hellsing smut. It can be good. Even if it’s pointless. Unless…

How NOT to write Hellsing smut cliffies – and generally, Hellsing fanifction - OMG! A CLIFFY!

Chapter 1

Integra sat on her bed crying, knowing her beautiful red-cloaked lover (what the hell?) won’t come visit her again, when the door slowly opened and there he stood… OMG! WHAT A CLIFFY HERE! Now, WHO was standing there??? Heehee, stay tuned! (For ya know, OMG I totally think the one standing in the doorway is Maxwell…)

Chapter 2

”Oh, Alucard…” she sighed as he lifted her in his arms (yeah, that’s really in-character) and she felt the warmth of his body (the warmth of a dead vampire? Um, Integra’s heat receptors might not be working… maybe she should see a doctor?).

OMG HEEHEE! I knew, I knew it was a total cliffy last time, but hope it was worth the wait (whatever you say, o Mighty Writer)!!! But now I will be cruel again, tee hee! (So you will write another chapter?) Please bear with me! (Sure. Will go wash my brain right now) OMG! A CLIFFY!!!

Chapter 3

OMG I’M BACK!!! (Oh dear, please no…)

”My beautiful Master…” Alucard gently removed Integra’s lovely lavender silk nightgown (do you mean Seras, maybe?), and looked at her glorious naked body. His grin widened as she slightly blushed (what the hell? Did you put your Sailor Moon fanfic in the wrong section?!), but then her eyes grew wide with hunger and…

OMG! A CLIFFY!!! (Fine. A little more of that in a row, and I would need triple dose of brain bleach…)

Chapter 4

OMG DID YOU WAIT FOR ME?! (Not really)

Integra knew how much she needed sex (Hm, so she’s not a virgin after all… horny!Integra), but she never thought her servant would be so willing in satisfying her desires (neither did I), and when she felt his erection pressing against her leg (umm…) she knew it was time to rid him of his pants and that red cloak, no matter how arousing it was (CLOAK FETISH!!! 111!!!).

”Mmm, my Master…” Alucard’s hot tongue tasted the silky skin of her breasts (heat receptor emergency, weeooweeooo!), and Integra suddenly…

OMG! A CLIFFY! HOW EXCITING! (Sheesh, I was totally horny, ya know…)

Chapter 5

Okay, my dear readers, heehee, sorry for all the cliffies, thank you for staying with me! (Just waiting to put a well-adjusted flame, buddy) So… I won’t make you wait any longer (so you will finally leave this site?), here goes the OMG LEMON!!! (Where’s the orange and the grapefruit? Forgot to get some?)

As Alucard was stripped of all his clothing, he and Integra merged together (was he in liquid form all along… what?), and their breathing quickened (only Integra’s, maybe), and as the warmth engulfed him she felt the heat (where is that ambulance already?!) and they stayed like that for a long time (poor Integra might catch a cold!) until their desire was finally fulfilled.

OMG THE END! (Finally! Wait… where was the lemon? This wasn’t even lime!)

Before you write, know what you want. And learn something about fanfiction language.

OMG! A CLIFFY!