|If Only You Knew
Author: YaoiWhore PM
Sometimes it sucks having to put on a facade, especially for people I can't stand... Yaoi. KakaNaru. Don't like, then skedaddle.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Naruto U. & Kakashi H. - Chapters: 17 - Words: 52,149 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 04-18-10 - Published: 02-09-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3385288
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story for so long. This is possibly the last chapter, I have yet to decide. I kind of like where things have ended. Once again, thanks for having stay tuned, I know it was annoying waiting for me to update.
Chapter 16 Life
The fire that Kakashi had just stoked was quickly quelled at his words.
Talk? Dread filled me; we're going to discuss his catching me breaking in his home.
I felt my face flush in embarrassment, forgetting for a moment, all of my doubts and intent to leave.
"I have a perfectly logical excuse for why I was in your house." I defended, although he had yet to broach the subject at all.
His eyes lit, taking on that amused gleam they would get from time to time.
I sighed inwardly, come on brain think, what excuse would pacify even his logic?
I continued to think of an excuse for a long moment, completely forgetting about the fact that I was in the middle of a conversation.
His outright laugh brought me out of my reverie. Evidently in the moment of my pondering, he'd decided to remove his mask, for it was nowhere to be seen as he clutched his side, tears coming out of his eyes.
I crossed my arms over my chest, most decidedly not amused, arching an eyebrow waiting for this moment of apparent hilarity to end. Although I don't know how intimidating the gesture was considering I was still laying on the bed.
As the laughter died down, his eyes grew serious and had a somewhat grim look to them, a sight that was unfamiliar to me on his face. It filled me with fear at what exactly we about to discuss, and the sick feeling that this wasn't just about my breaking and entering fiasco.
"Naruto—"he broke off, running a hand through that silvery hair, "there really is no easy way to say this so I am just going to say it. I was ordered by the Hokage to report everything that involved you and the Kyuubi during the mission."
"And you did." I finished for him, my voice growing colder by the minute. His silence was my affirmation.
I said nothing for a full minute just letting what he'd said soak into my brain, my heart beating dully against my chest, I got up from the bed and made my way over to the door stopping at it for a moment.
"You know the funny thing was I actually thought for a minute that this might work." I snorted derisively, trying not to let out a sob. "My mistake. I should have known better than to trust one of Konoha's dogs."
As I opened the door and went to walk through it, a hand on my shoulder attempted to yank me back.
Alright now he was pissing me off, I grabbed his arm and flipped him over my shoulder, his body landing with a loud thump! on the hardwood floor.
He looked at me from his upside down position from the ground, dumbfounded.
At his unmitigated gall to look affronted, the leash I had barely been keeping on my anger snapped and my glamour along with it.
"Don't give me that look!" I accusingly screamed at him. "You are the one who stabbed me in the back, not the other way around! You don't get to give that betrayed look!"
I swear my heart was about to shatter into pieces, it hurt so fucking much!
Taking a deep breath I attempted to regain enough composure to at least maintain my glamour. As I felt the familiar feeling of it in place I walked back to the main room without looking back at the man responsible for this.
I grabbed the meager belongings I had already packed and made my way over to the door, gods this town is full of nothing but backstabbers and bastards.
I went to walk out the door, but once again a hand for the third time that day, grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me back in.
However, this time the door was slammed behind me, my things thrown into some remote corner, and a pair of warm lips descended on mine with no warning.
Those arms locked themselves around my neck in a vice grip, not giving me a chance to escape.
Of course escape was the only thing on my mind at the time, I tried to maneuver my body so I could bring my legs up to kick him, but it wasn't happening. Instead he slammed my body into the wall and put one of his legs between my two, rubbing his thigh against my clothe-clad length trying to elicit a reaction.
My body betrayed me as it always did with this man; I growled and tried to fight it by biting his lips.
He took this opportunity to insert his tongue into my mouth, immediately seeking out my own appendage.
Against my will I groaned, he knew just where to touch me to get me to cry out and make my body weep for more. It was so unfair.
Tears started making their way out of my eyes, when it came to physical ability I could beat him easily enough, but this was an attack on my psyche and it was working, it was a fight I couldn't win.
He buried his face in my neck, the tears stopping his onslaught.
"Please don't cry, Naruto." He begged. "You're not playing fair."
I felt a hysterical laugh bubble up from inside of me.
"I'm not playing fair?" I half sobbed, half laughed. "Says the one using sexual appeal to subdue."
"I'm sorry." He groaned against my neck, sending shudders down my body. "It was the only thing I could think of."
"The great Kakashi forced to use physical manipulation to get what he wants?" I scoffed as convincingly as I could with tears still making their way down my face. "What is the world coming to?"
"When it comes to the one I love, it's a different matter altogether." He admitted shamelessly. "I'll use whatever tactic I have to keep you."
Despite the anger and betrayal I felt towards him, these words stroked a chord somewhere inside of me. No one—save Kyuubi—had ever given a damn about me, much less if I stayed or went.
"You're making it awfully hard to stay mad at you Kakashi." I growled at him, frustrated at my own weakness. "You betrayed me; I wouldn't care if it was God himself. My relationship with Kyuubi was told to you in confidence."
"You didn't give me a chance to finish." Kakashi pointed out. "If you had I would have told you all I said to the Hokage was that I thought the seal was beginning to break, that's all."
I brought his head up with my now-released hands at that.
"If that's true," I demanded, "then why did you act so damned guilty?"
"Well I still had to leave you for two weeks," he grudgingly muttered.
I just stared at him.
"What? You thought you were the only one?" He smiled at me with those near-perfect features. "Naruto if I'd been able to I would have taken you home and kept you in bed."
I blushed at that.
"You are such a pervert."
He grinned, "You know you like it." Then his grin faltered. "Seriously though Naruto, you have got to stop threatening to leave when you have doubts or things don't go your way."
I sighed, "Kakashi how is this going to work? You have your loyalties and I have mine. They certainly aren't to the same people."
He nuzzled my head, "Naruto you will always be who my loyalties lie with."
I looked up at him. "You know eventually I will have to leave."
He looked grim, "Yes I realize that."
"Well what will you do?" I asked. "Once I leave this village I can never return, you know the laws concerning deserters."
"That choice is easy Naruto; I will be leaving with you."
An emotion I couldn't put a name to welled up in my chest at his words. Determination filled me, if it was the last thing I ever did, never would I let doubts or anything like them separate me from him, even my own stupidity.
"What about loved ones? I couldn't ask you to leave them."
He smiled sadly.
"I lost anyone dear to me, long ago." He gathered me in his arms, his head still on top of my own. "In fact, you could say you gave me reason to live. Before I met you, I was surviving from day to day, carrying out my missions as ordered. It wasn't until I saw you for the first time that I realized I hadn't really been living at all."
At his words my throat grew thick, I embraced him as tight as I could, my voice muffled by his shirt. "You don't know how true those words are for me as well. Living without feeling isn't living at all."
Our lips met as if we had planned it, his tongue dipping into my already parted lips, as our tongues massaged the other's the desire in my body's desire grew.
Clothes seemed to melt away as we stumbled our way to the bedroom. By the time we actually reached the bed we were both already naked.
He started to stretch me, but I couldn't wait. I thrusted against his fingers, wanting something thicker inside me.
"Now, Kakashi!" I groaned. "Enter me now."
"I don't want to hurt you." He managed to pant.
"I'll be fine! Just hurry."
He entered me in one thrust, I moaned at the pleasure mixed with pain at his entry, he'd hit that special spot inside of me in one thrust.
He established a rhythm, filled with quick hard thrusts. My legs went around his waist in desperation to pull him in deeper. It didn't take long after that, I felt my vision go white, and then I was diving off the edge of the precipice. I felt his hot seed fill me with its warmth as he too, came.
For a long moment afterwards we stayed just like that, him inside me, trying to remain as one for as long as possible. Eventually, though as it does, reality returned and he pulled out of me.
Neither one of us made a move to get up, though, perfectly content to stay entangled in the other's limbs.
As I lay there with him I thought back to all the events in my life that had led up to this. After thinking it through I decided that though I had suffered it had mostly been worth it. Sure there was the Sasuke fiasco, but that was over. The goal that I had had, to regain my emotions had been successful, and I had the man laying with me to thank for that.
There were of course still some challenges that lay ahead, and there would be future disagreements. However as long as I had Kakashi with me I know I could face them. My life was just starting and the Gods only knew where it would end up.
Ah, if only you knew.
Or is it?