A/N: This is it guys, last installment. From the beginning, I was only planning on it being oneshots. If someone thinks it has potential for more, let me know.

Journal

Jake

February 5

War.

It’s a disturbing topic. Nobody likes talking about killing, about the lives taken in senseless battle.

People fight to protect. They fight for honor, they fight for love, they fight to prove themselves.

It’s all an image, war. You’re seeing yourself leaping into battle courageously, fighting valiantly. You are perfect in that image. Sure, you have a dirt-streaked face, sure, you’re tired, but you’re winning. You’re beating the odds, even though it’s ten to one. Then, when the battle is done and you’ve slain your foe, you come home a hero. People carry you on their shoulders, songs, poems, stories are written of the things you have done.

But then you do go into battle. Then, you’re tired before it begins. You’re already drenched in sweat and scared halfway to death. You’re waiting for it to begin and now, those images you had are gone. You’re looking for a way out. You want to break the ranks and run all the way home, however far that may be.

Fact is, you’re not half as brave or as talented as you’d imagined. Modest or not, you still pictured it much better than this. You know in your heart that it’s your time to die, even though the odds favor you. You always thought that when you were going to die, you’d accept it. But now, thousands of thoughts race through your head, asking again and again, the same question.

Does it end here?

You’re scared so badly that you can’t tell if it’s sweat drenching your pants or something else. You don’t know what will happen. You know that things won’t go as planned.

But if the people around you see your panic, it will lead them into a state of utter terror.

So what do you do? Give in to panic or act as if you know what you’re doing? It’s a tougher decision than anyone believes. Few people in the world can follow through with the right choice.

What makes it so hard? You’d think that it’d be a no-brainer, but fear does things to you that are unimaginable. It tears you inside out.

If you want to see who a person is, what they really are, scare them within an inch of their lives, you’ll see their true nature.

What if you want to know your true nature? What if you, yourself, want to know who you are?

I recommend not trying. Can you deal with any answer that is given?

Can you know then that answer is there?

And can you live with yourself, if it’s not what you expected?

All this races through your head as you charge reluctantly into battle. You wish you had a way out, but you’re pretending to defend your honor, though any honor you had left when you looked your enemy in the face. Now it’s all about survival. One of you will die, and it’s not your fault when the other one goes down, is it?

That person could have been you.

Then, when the battle is over and you survey the battlefield, you realize that you’ve lost so much more than you’ve gained. Those still alive cry for their various family members, in a desperate hope for someone to hear their last words.

No, there is no honor in that. No pride. More died than were saved.

People who talk about those things have never been the last one standing.

Jake leaned back in his chair and surveyed his handiwork. When the teacher handed it back, he decided, he would keep it.

He got up to hand it in just as the teacher announced that the time was up. As he sat back down in his seat, he noticed Cassie looking his way. She nodded ever so slightly, indicating that she wanted to speak with him.

He nodded back and took his seat. They would talk at lunchbreak.

When the lunch bell rang, the teacher at the front of the room began reading the journals, skimming over them one by one. He stopped at Marco’s. A single droplet of water had morphed a spot at the bottom of the page. He read it over.

Short, but it was written with feeling. Marco was going through hard times.

Again, he stopped when he reached Jake’s. Both boys had been writing more interesting journals lately, and the teacher knew that they were best friends. Whatever they were dealing with, it had to be difficult. So he picked up the phone and slowly began dialing their parents, first Jake, then Marco.

A/N: DUNDUNDUN... Anyway, thanks for reading. Please review. Feel free to get all creative and try to think up how the animorphs got out of this one. If you're not creative, then Cassie, Marco and Jake get grounded and therapy, while Jordan officially becomes terrified of her older sister and keeps her mouth shut. :P

PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE?