A whimper escaped Anakin’s lips as he fought back renewed tears at memory of the nightmare, more exactly the memory of the corpses of his children at his feet, dead because he was too lost in his bloodlust to decipher them from the others. Biting his lip until he tasted blood, Anakin quickly clambered out of the large bed feeling too dirty and disgusting to remain in this place of peace and harmony.

Silently, he grabbed his robe—for despite controlled temperatures, the night was still far too cold for the Tatooine native’s liking—and departed for the balcony. Upon taking his place, half leaning, half sitting, on the couch’s edge, the Sith Lord struggled to keep his emotions and thoughts together. He had restored peace, had he not? The guilty paid, didn’t they? Closing his eyes, he forced his thoughts to clear. The more he wanted to ease his conscience, the worse he felt.

How could he return to his family, call himself a father, with the blood of so many younglings on his hands? The thought brought a shaky sigh to his lips and furrowing his brow Anakin found himself struggling to resist the urge to keep the truth of his actions from Dormé as even now he could still recall her warning from years ago. Everything in his life was finally in control and as it should be, yet Vader couldn’t shake the eminent feeling that he was on the verge of losing everything.

Through the Force he finally registered Laic’s troubled emotions as well as Runa’s and realized he had awoken them in his disorientated attempts to flee from his solace. But as much as he wanted to return to comfort them, the Sith Lord felt too unworthy and thus remained frozen. Guilt seemed weighed him down, rendering him unable to move.

For a while longer, Anakin remained, staring out to the night sky as he struggled to clear his mind and bury the memories that continued to haunt him. Though he longed to return to his family, Anakin eventually retired to the couch where he once more fell into a fitful sleep filled with dreams of blood and loss.

---

Laic’s cries awoke his ama and infant sister, which promptly awoke Dormé. Though Dormé expected Runa would wake her, she was surprised that Laic was upset, for he had been sleeping through the night for months now. In the dark, Dormé called to Anakin, only to find he was no longer in bed. She then set about comforting Laic first. Once Laic’s cries slowed and his breathing returned to normal, Runa calmed down as well. Dormé kissed them both, figuring they were upset because Daddy had a nightmare.

Over the years, Dormé had grown accustomed to Anakin’s bouts with nightmares he believed to hold future truths and those that forced him to relive the horrors of war. This night was no different and as much as she wanted to be there for Anakin, she knew their children would not be safe in bed alone so she remained with them, though her thoughts were with her tormented husband. After everything he had done to ensure the peace of this empire, he was the least deserving of restless nights.

Dormé awoke again later, in the wee hours of the morning to feed Runa, noticing Anakin still had not returned to bed. She lamented the fact he wasn’t resting with them and immediately began to think he wasn’t comfortable, that perhaps it wasn’t a nightmare at all. She fell back into a discontented sleep.

Once it was daylight, Dorme rose with Runa and summoned two handmaidens to help her with their children so she would be able to wash up and change for the day. It was a slow process, for she was still recovering and she had a droid fix breakfast instead of doing it herself so that she could check up on Anakin.

She found him on one of the couches on the balcony and slowly approached.

The position he was sleeping in looked rather uncomfortable, especially given his tall frame, but as she drew nearer, she realised she had disturbed his rest and felt bad. It was too late though and when he stirred, he collapsed onto the floor. Dormé clamped a hand over her mouth as she smiled and tried not to laugh. In the end, she couldn’t help it and at his greeting, she giggled.

Awoken by both his fall and the pain of smacking his elbow Vader cried out a curse of shock before struggling in his disorientated state to grab for his lightsaber, believing himself to be on the frontlines. It was only when he noticed Dormé’s presence and the fact his lightsaber wasn’t on his person that Anakin glance around and take in his surroundings. As his eyes settled on Dormé his cheeks immediately lit up like two super novas as he grinned, embarrassed. ‘...morning...’

‘Morning to you too,’ she said, offering him a hand. ‘I’ve got breakfast ready, though I have to admit I didn’t make it.’ necessary.

Taking her hand, the Sith Lord soon rose to his feet before growing serious as Dormé spoke of breakfast. To his relief, Dormé didn’t try to overexert herself and had the droid tend to it.

‘Are you all right?’ She wasn’t about to ask why he was out here or why he felt it was

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked at the same time.

Dormé smiled kindly when they both enquired about the other. She waited for him to answer her question first, as her own issues were to be expected.

‘I’m fine, just the usual nightmares. I’ll explain later,’ he admitted knowing that ultimately he would have to tell her whether he wanted to or not. Anakin tried to bury the shame that seemed to grow at Dormé’s concern for him as he knew he was hardly worthy of it. He was grateful to be home and was eager to help in what way he could with Dormé’s recovery.

She nodded to his words, though her expression did not belie her concern. Wrapping an arm around him for support, she admitted to the usual pains, but was sure to add that, ‘It’s certainly better than last time,’ offering him another gentle smile.

Feeling her arm around him, the Sith Lord soon had his wrapped around her as he studied Dormé intently at her admittance that things were an improvement this time Anakin couldn’t help but nod. The memory of Laic’s birth had been both wondrous and painful at the same time. It also reminded him that, once more, he had missed the birth of their child and this did little to ease his shame. ‘I’m glad this time wasn’t so bad, but if there is anything I can do to help with the recovery, be sure to tell me,’ he said with gentle concern before pulling her into a hug.

Dormé hugged him back, grateful that he was home now. ‘You can start by coming inside and having breakfast with me,’ she said, hoping he would at least have an appetite. She also hoped that he might be able to get a few hours of sleep in later as well.

Anakin grinned at Dormé’s words and was reminded of the fact that outside of the nutrition given to him at the medical centre he really hadn’t had much in the way of food. ‘That I can do,’ he said eagerly as he kissed her cheek before growing a bit more serious as he decided he would see to it that Dormé was able to get some much needed rest as well.

‘Did you want the doctor to come and have a look at you?’ she asked, referring to what happened while he was gone, as they made their way inside.

Vader furrowed his brow as he shook his head. ‘No, I’m fine. Besides, I think I’ve put up with enough doctors in the past couple of days to last me a lifetime,’ Anakin teased as he followed her inside. ‘Although, I’ll have yours stop by to make sure everything is as it should be with both Runa and yourself,’ Anakin continued as he was most mindful of Dormé’s delicate condition and didn’t want to encourage trouble.

‘That’s probably a good idea. Thank you,’ Dormé replied with his suggestion of having the doctor check in on Runa and her. Though none of the Vaders particularly enjoyed examinations, they knew there were some instances when they were unavoidable.

Anakin gave an understanding look to Dormé’s reply knowing how much she enjoyed having such visits but knowing it was a necessity given the situation. ‘I’ll look into it after breakfast then,’ he said gently.

Breakfast was wonderful and having not eaten real food for some time it was quite a treat to say the very least. Anakin’s thoughts were heavy as he knew had and would tell Dormé what had happened in his absence. As if sensing his thoughts, Dormé spoke up.

‘Did you have a chance to speak with Kei?’ she asked offhandedly, figuring he would be excited to share with him the good news of the order restored to the Empire.

The Sith Lord’s expression grew troubled. Glancing away, he swallowed as he nodded. ‘Yes—I saw him when I first learnt that you were on your way to meet me on the Humbarine colonies,’ Anakin began carefully. ‘I filled him in on the details...He seemed pleased to a degree...’ he hinted not really wanting to out and speak his thoughts just yet while at the same time uncertain how to describe the deadly pain he had experienced then either.

‘Oh,’ Dormé replied, blushing. ‘I really wasn’t thinking straight,’ she said, shaking her head and feeling quite embarrassed about that decision. ‘I was just so worried about you—and I really should have brought proper medical care with me...’

Anakin just shook his head at her words, feeling her embarrassment before reaching over to take her hands into his own. ‘It’s okay, Dormé, what matters is that both you and Runa are safe and fine. It’s that fool’s fault for scaring you like that,’ he continued as his expression darkened. ‘I made sure that was the last mistake he made,’ the Sith Lord continued in fiercer tones before his expression softened as he reached to touch her cheek.

Dormé nodded at his words and squeezed his hands in return. She was glad to hear it had been the officer’s last mistake, which reminded her of the handmaiden she had allowed to live. The thought was fleeting. ‘I didn’t even consider the possibility that I might go into labour on the ship. I was so stupid... Runa could have—and it would have been all my fault.’ She paused to take in a long breath, trying to comfort herself with the fact that Runa was just fine...that no harm had come to her by being born aboard a starship...that people were born and died in space all the time.

‘It wasn’t your fault, please don’t ever think that. He should have known better than to frighten you like that. He is to blame not you,’ Anakin continued gently as he couldn’t help but feel bad for causing Dormé to worry as she did. ‘Besides, as I said before, Runa is safe and healthy and so are you. In the end, that is all that matters.’

She leant forward to rest her forehead against his. ‘And so are you,’ she murmured, temporarily forgetting about the nightmares which caused him to miss resting the entire night.

Closing his eyes, Anakin tried to bury the shame that left him feeling more than unworthy of the family he now belonged to.

After a moment, she pulled back to give him a more well-rested kiss than those he received the day before.

He wanted to drown himself in the solace that her embrace offered, but his conscience wouldn’t allow him this moment of peace. Once their kiss drew to a close, the Sith Lord sighed as his expression grew troubled. ‘I—I need—there is something I need to tell you…about the Humbarine conflict,’ he admitted finally as he bit his lip and glance away.

As much as Dormé wanted to content herself in her husband’s presence and in the joy of their newborn and their family, it seemed that whatever was weighing on Anakin’s mind came to the forefront of his thoughts. She heard it in his tone as much as it was visible in his expression. Dormé hoped that by telling her about it would put his mind at ease. She squeezed his hand again in a silent gesture of encouragement. She would not force it out of him, even though she could tell it was something that bothered him a great deal. Her thumb softly brushed over his hand.

Her gentle gesture of assurance did little to ease his thoughts but it did encourage him to face what he knew he had to do. Rising to his feet, Anakin continued to hold her hand, enjoying the feel of her fingers over his own though hr knew he was unworthy this loving gesture. ‘Perhaps we should continue this in the next room,’ he said, uncertain of her reaction and inwardly fearing their children might hear.

Rising with him, Dormé silently followed him to the balcony once more, having a growing feeling that this was far more serious than she imagined. She didn’t want her thoughts running away with all the possibilities, but despite her curiosity, she held her tongue. She held his hand through his silence, waiting as patiently as she could for the inevitable revelation.

Anakin remained silent for a moment longer as his eyes drifted to the vast city ahead. ‘...I went too far...again...’ he admitted quiet and shamed tones. ‘I was able to take down the resistance, but when I went to destroy their families—so as to ensure there wouldn’t be a second uprising—I—’ he swallowed hard and fell silent knowing he didn’t need to explain himself further.

His admission tore her heart as the news sunk in and she released his hand. ‘Anakin—’ she began, her tone of horror, not condemnation. Though she was no longer touching him, she remained close as she gasped, ‘Why?’

As Dormé released her grip from his fingers the Sith Lord suddenly felt incredibly alone and cold, despite the fact it was both warm on the balcony and Dormé remained near to him. Her voice so filled with horror, yet without judgment, only added to his shame as turned his back to her and began to fiddle with his utility belt marking his nervousness. Her question was justified and yet Anakin didn’t know how to respond as he bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. Shaking his head, he just closed his eyes, forcing himself to keep it together, not to fall apart or try to leave. There was no running away when it came to Dormé or denial of the facts.

‘...I...I don’t know...’ he croaked in barely audible tones. ‘I was just so caught up in the battle...I...’ he shook his head, trying to ignore the nagging doubts that warred within him, telling him that he was truly a monster, that his children would come to hate him because of his actions. ‘...I don’t know why I keep doing this...I can’t seem to stop myself,’ Anakin admitted as he fought back tears of despair and shame.

‘You don’t know,’ she breathed in response, folding her arms around herself as she suddenly felt cold. Just when Dormé thought everything was set right once more, something like this had to happen to ruin everything. She couldn’t comprehend the power of the dark side or the light side or anything having to do with the Force, but what she did know was that there was something in Anakin that he needed to either eradicate or learn to control. Certainly, his brother wasn’t going around killing younglings for no reason. Certainly, when Obi-Wan went into battle he engaged in some sense of self-control.

The distance between them wasn’t missed by Anakin who didn’t dare look at Dormé whose simple reply said so much more than words ever could. Vader wished he could say that he knew why he always seemed to lose himself in battle or why it was that he could no longer tell the difference between the innocent and guilty. Though he didn’t admit this aloud, Anakin found himself suddenly wishing he hadn’t killed his Master, as he was in reality the only one who would know what was wrong and how to mend it.

What did this mean? What was going to happen now? Dormé wasn’t sure. Would he ever become too angry to think straight and kill her without intending to? Dormé didn’t care if he did, so long as the children were safe. It was because they were the enemies...the children of the enemies... Certainly, Anakin wouldn’t see her as an enemy. He wouldn’t see their children as enemies...

Vader could feel Dormé’s shift in emotions and felt another wave of shame for it. Her concern wasn’t unfounded and he could only imagine what was going through her mind, which encouraged more thoughts of despair. He knew things were getting out of hand and knew that something had to be done otherwise—Anakin closed his eyes once more at the thought not daring to allow it to reach its conclusion.

This was the second, no, the third time he had killed innocent people. It was unforgivable. Shaking her head and letting out a despondent sigh, she grasped the railing they installed a little while ago for a safety precaution for their children. After a moment, she looked over at Anakin. ‘I don’t care how you do it, but you need to learn to control it, not for my sake, but for our children.’ She didn’t need to remind him why.

Vader’s eyes opened as he stared ahead once again, not daring to look over at his beloved, for the chasm that had formed between them felt more like a wall than anything else. Swallowing hard, Anakin furrowed his brow as he weakly nodded in reply, feeling every bit the monster he knew he was. ‘I...I will stop at nothing until I find away,’ he whispered in sincere tones as he fought back his despair and shame. He had no idea where to go or how to tend to this matter but he was determined to find out one way or another. ‘I’m sorry...’ Anakin murmured quietly, wishing he could better express his thoughts but not daring to try lest he fall prey to his guilt and self disgust that now flooded his mind.

Dormé had heard a similar testament before. She knew he meant it, but at the same time, something within wouldn’t allow her to believe it fully. She didn’t know she was already being to forge walls to protect her heart from him. It was infuriating that Anakin wouldn’t even look at her when he spoke. While apologies were sometimes necessary and desired, in this case, it just made her angry. ‘You’re a father, Anakin...’ She moved in front of him in an effort to make him look her in the eye, grabbing his arms forcefully. ‘...and a husband,’ she continued, her voice firm. ‘It’s time for you to grow up.’

Staring at her in disbelief, the Sith Lord just gaped as he shook his head. ‘Grow up? Just what the iquicha is that supposed to mean?’ he snapped. ‘You think it’s just that easy don’t you? I’ll just flick some hidden switch and immediately be in control of the Force?!’ he snapped in sarcastic tones.

‘I told you, I don’t care how you do it.’ Sighing, she fought back tears as she said.

‘Not that it matters to you! It’s nothing more than an optical illusion at the best of times or a joke at the worst,’ he snapped in defence, shirking her touch.

‘You’re right; I don’t care about your powers. I don’t care about them until they hurt our children.’

‘I said I am going to tend to the problem and I will. It’s not like I can just go to a random Sith Lord and ask for help. I’m the last one remember?’ he continued before growing serious once more. ‘You’re not the only one who is worried about all of this—’ Anakin admitted in quiet tones.

‘What about your brother?’ Dormé replied, not letting his attitude get the better of her.

Vader’s eyes wavered at her statement and he swallowed hard as he glanced away. He didn’t dare face his brother now, not like this, not after all that had transpired. While Anakin had convinced himself that Obi-Wan had overreacted pertaining to his use of the dark side, he couldn’t deny the truth of Aené’s loss and the loss of the other children.

‘I thought he helped last time—when—’ Dormé swallowed hard and looked away from him, not wanting to remember the fact that his brother could have saved Aené.

Dormé unfinished statement also reminded him of how his brother could have saved their daughter and with this memory he fell silent. Any and all further denials and defence faded away leaving behind only vulnerability and shame. Instinctively, he was about to slip his arms around Dormé, but his guilt wouldn’t permit him to, so he refrained. ‘Obi-Wan doesn’t know, nor does he care to know, about the dark side. All he’ll do is try to convince me to return to the ways of the Jedi. It would be a lost cause,’ Anakin whispered. ‘I’ll just have to find another way.’

She put a hand over her mouth, trying not to cry at the thought of Aené. She didn’t say anything further as he whispered that he would have to find another way. She didn’t say that she thought his brother loved him and would do what he could to help, or that if the Jedi didn’t kill things that maybe that would be a better course to take. Instead, Dormé placed her faith in Anakin as a person. Unknowingly so much like Obi-Wan, Dormé had faith in Anakin, a kind of faith that would never fully break, tried and worn, as it would become over the course of their lives. They had already come so far and this was just another test. She had to believe that.

The silence was almost deafening and despite Anakin’s initial hesitation to hold his wife, in the end, the sight of her struggling with her tears proved to be too much. Quietly, the Sith Lord approached, feeling more than aware of how unworthy he was to stand by her side. Cautiously, he slipped his arms around her, neither expecting her acceptance, nor about to hold it against her either. At the same time, he couldn’t deny the fact they were in this together, no matter how much this was entirely his own problem.

Though his darkness would remain between them, Dormé held him tightly in return. It was as though she were clinging to him, trying to pull him away from someone else who strained to hold onto him.

There was something almost desperate about Dormé’s embrace that wasn’t missed by the Sith Lord who held her with equal fervency. Though he couldn’t explain it, it felt as though they were once more caught in an unseen storm that was threatening to drown them both. ‘I will not fail you,’ he murmured, wanting to desperately believe his own promise, yet unable to deny the sinking feeling that this matter was far from over.

In that moment, Anakin made an oath to her, that he would find a way out of this, that he wouldn’t harm their children and Dormé so desperately wanted to believe it that it would become true. She wouldn’t know what to do if this weren’t the case. Not only was she relying on him, but Laic and Runa were as well.

Anakin knew that this was his doing and if they were to survive, he would have to be the one to calm the storm. There would be no running away this time, no pointing fingers or passing the blame onto other people. However, though the emperor’s determination was unwavering, he would soon learn that the storm had only begun.

---

A/N: So concludes part two of The Empire. You will find The Empire Part Three: The Empire Falls in my bio.

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