FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination 
mobile edition|
Author of 60 Stories |
Dormé hated them, all of the mothers with their children so happy...gloating about their successful pregnancies where Dormé had failed. It wasn't fair. It was as though they were mocking her with their words of gratitude and smiling faces. While she hadn't left Coruscant much while she was carrying Aené, she now travelled frequently and saw all of them who adored her for her charitable work and dedication to children's rights. In her travels, she was often accompanied by legions of stormtroopers to bring peace to other planets not yet part of their empire. She continued to do so for three long years as she coped with the loss of Aené. Anakin and she contemplated ways in which to bring more resources into their empire and provide for their daily increasing imperial army as well as the training schools on Coruscant for recruits.
At one point, she came across the former Supreme Chancellor's plans for a planetary vanquishing machine, but she had them destroyed. Taking away the weapons from all the other planets and giving them to her stormtroopers was far more effective in her opinion. This way their weaponry and defensive power wasn't localised.
Not long after Anakin and Dormé were finally able to begin healing from Aené's death, Dormé became pregnant again. Though she recognised all of the symptoms, she dismissed them as stress as she was still trying to get her life back on track. With the time spent running the Empire and the long hours of training she did to keep up her own agility and strength, it was no wonder that her cycles weren't normal.
As much as she still wanted to have children with Anakin, she hardly wanted to be attached to this one or to make any plans. She knew it would be futile and she would only end up getting hurt again.
Dormé denied the obvious for many months until there was no way around it. She knew Anakin was aware, for he was, after all, Force sensitive, but he didn't say anything. Even when it was evident from the changes in her body, nothing was said.
The denial was hard to get over, but one morning in the fresher as the water poured over her now four-month slightly swollen torso, she couldn't ignore it. She cried.
The truth was that Dormé was scared.
Pulling herself together, she dressed slowly and solemnly went to visit Aené's memorial. It was partially lit from the early sun shining through a window on the far side. She lit a candle and knelt in front of the memorial with her head bowed. Though she wasn't a spiritual person, she had to believe that Aené could hear her. She spoke of her regrets and fears, and that she hoped Aené could forgive her, that Aené wouldn't hate her.
When she raised her head to look up once more, the way the light bounced off the walls was almost surreal. It seemed like she could almost see her. Though it was brief, the vision of a little blonde girl with eyes of dark amber, and freckles decorating her nose and cheeks smiled. Dormé blinked and Aené was gone. Surprisingly, she felt incredibly at peace. Even if it was just a dream, Aené seemed happy and this was such a relief to Dormé.
Now she knew what she had to do. She would tell the medics not to spare her if this little one didn't make it. She knew she wouldn't be able to go on if she were to lose another child.
On this particular morning, when exhaustion ensured he returned home, Anakin knew that it was time to speak to Dormé about what they had been avoiding all along. It broke his heart to think of how his wife would react to having the discovery out in the open. He also knew that if she didn't visit a medic soon complications were certain to arise. If anything was to go wrong, he didn't want her to blame herself for it and knew that unless something could prevent it, it was certain she would. With the passing of Aené, the Sith Lord was aware that if something happened, he would lose more than just another child. He tried not to allow himself to think of the fact he knew what would happen should they lose this little spark of life. It was just too painful and during those moments of weakness when he did, Anakin was careful to hide the tears that came or if these too couldn't be helped, he would take to the shower to wash them away.
As he entered the palace, he soon sensed that Dormé was at the memorial of their little princess and immediately departed for it to meet her. Though he knew what had to be done for now he wanted nothing more than to hold her even for but a moment. To just feel her arms around him and be reminded that he wasn't alone in this, that they were in this together.
If any peace was found, it slowly faded once more as she set off to return indoors. With each step, it dissipated into sorrow, though Dormé didn't feel it as powerfully as she had felt her own earlier. If she knew better, she would have recognised it as her husband's sorrow. As if on cue, she saw an exhausted-looking Anakin heading towards her. She quickened her pace to greet him. It felt like an eternity since she last held him.
Upon seeing Dormé, the young emperor couldn't help but smile a little. She looked lovely as always though he could sense she was in a bit better spirits than usual and drew hope from it. Pulling her into a tight hug Anakin gave a deep sigh feeling his own mood lightening a little at her healing touch. 'I've missed you so much,' he murmured softly into her ear as his hand slipped to hair.
When she finally drew back slightly to touch his cheek and study him closely, she could see the wear of all the weeks, the sleepless nights, the lack of taking proper care of himself. She vowed silently to see to it she did everything in her power to remedy it and prayed it wasn't because of her or something she had done to cause this, though deep down she had a feeling it was.
As she drew back, he felt her hand against his cheek and instinctively leaned into it. Her gaze was sharp and studious and he could feel her concern which caused his cheeks to slightly warm. No matter how hard he tried to keep up appearances, he knew there was no hiding from his wife and immediately he felt bad for causing her to feel concern for him. She had so much on her mind already that the last thing he wanted was to add his own shame and fear to it.
She pulled him in for another tight hug, as though it would make up for all the times she couldn't. Though she was worried for him, she was able to exhale what seemed like the weight of the universe, or at least of their empire, and for a moment find peace once more.
This moment held all the solace he had been longing for during their time apart. Holding Dormé tightly and rubbing her back, he closed his eyes and breathed her in deeply, feeling his racing heart beginning to calm and his despairing, fearful thoughts starting to clear. He knew what had to be done and as he held her close, Anakin finally found the courage to speak of the matter he knew deep down that should have been discussed some time ago. 'Dormé, we should talk…not here, but somewhere just as private,' he began softly, knowing that she would be aware of what it was he wanted to discuss and already feeling his heart ache for her because of it.
Nodding slowly in agreement, she wrapped an arm around his waist and started back indoors. She would rather avoid the subject and fix him something to eat or suggest he have a rest first, but Dormé knew that as convincing as she could be, he was just as stubborn. In reality, this conversation ought to have taken place months ago. Once they returned to the privacy of their own quarters, she took his cloak from off his shoulders before moving with him to the nearest couch. She knew there was no use in avoiding it, not even to get something to eat or drink for Anakin.
Anakin didn't stop her from helping remove his cloak and silently helped her out of hers. Though not a word was exchanged it was obvious neither wanted to discuss the matter at hand but were aware that time had run out for running away. As they sat on the couch, Anakin gently slipped an arm around her and silently held her for a moment wanting to express his unspoken support and understanding. After a moments silence he quietly spoke what weighed on his mind and heart. 'I think it's time you should see a physician,' he began gently as he studied her with concern and love. 'I know it's not something you want to do Dormé, but I'm worried about you, about...' he faltered as though fearing if he openly admitted to their baby's existence, he would spell its demise. 'I'm just concerned and I think its time we face what we already both know to be fact. We can only deny it for so long and well, I think it's only fair that you at least get examined to ensure everything—' he fell silent then.
He already knew how fruitless this would be, as every time their child was lost no one ever seemed to know what was wrong. Dormé was always in perfect health as was their baby yet something was obviously very wrong. 'I want to find you a healer Dormé, someone who is familiar with the natural side of medicine who isn't so easily lost in the game of politics,' he continued in determined tones. He struggled to hide his emotions only to fail miserably as he gave a shuddering sigh. He knew this was his fault and inwardly cursed himself once more for not being more careful, for being more mindful of her fragile situation.
Dormé swallowed hard, trying to fight back tears as he mentioned what they both knew they needed to speak of. She exhaled slowly. 'Oh what's the point anyway?' Dormé said exasperatedly at the situation, not at his concern. 'What's the use if nothing, no one has been able to...' she began though she was unable to finish the statement.
Dormé's exasperated reply tore at Anakin's heart and left him feeling worse than before. Furrowing his brow, he struggled with his own tears as she spoke of things neither could openly speak about. Though this was meant to be a happy moment for them both, it was hard to feel positive about something that always ended in such despair and loss. His embrace tightened as Dormé struggled to speak. Like her Anakin too was struggling with his own despair and tears as he bowed his head feeling ashamed of his lack of sensitivity.
'What more can be done that hasn't been done already? What could another healer possibly offer that—I just...' She shook her head. 'I can't—' Her jaw clenched tightly as she continued fighting tears.
'I know...Believe me, I know...' he murmured in reply at her words. 'This is all my fault, I should have been more careful. I should have been more mindful,' he continued in shamed tones as he bowed his head. 'Now it's too late and...I should have known better. You've been through so much already and I know—' he didn't dare continue his thought, as this too was another unspoken understanding. It was also one he knew if were to ever to be discussed openly would surely break him.
Dormé shook her head to his expression of guilt. 'If anyone's to blame, it's the both of us. Gods know there are times when I'm with you that I wouldn't be able to tell the time of day if asked, let alone think about preventative measures.' She offered a small, knowing smile.
Anakin studied Dormé in silence feeling his cheeks warm slightly at her admittance which in reality mirrored his thoughts on the matter. 'I can't say I'm any different. But I just can't help but feel responsible for not being more aware. It's just so easy to lose myself in the moment when you're near,' he admitted softly.
'I'm so scared to lose you,' he finally breathed not daring to speak of the little one he was so certain would be lost as well. 'Please let me do this, please just let me find someone for you. That's all I ask.'
Knowing what she knew: that she wouldn't want to face losing another child, that she would rather sacrifice her own life to save the child, she wasn't about to lie to Anakin saying he wouldn't lose her, she wouldn't make promises she had no power to keep. 'I just need you, Anakin,' she murmured. He hadn't been there when Aené left them and it was utter hell for her. 'I need you more than any healers or medics or any of them, but if you want to find a healer, I'm not going to discourage it.'
Anakin felt his heart clench as he bit his lip struggling against his emotions once more. Though it meant a lot to hear those words Anakin couldn't help but feel that his presence just wasn't enough. That in the end he would be the one forced to stand helplessly by Dormé's side while she endured the nightmare of losing another child again. 'I want to everything I can for you and for our baby. But I would feel so much better if I knew that someone who is more familiar with these things is looking out for your and the baby,' he said gently as Dormé leaned her head against his shoulder. Instinctively his fingers began to twirl through her hair as her words made his heart ache. He too was so scared for the child but was also equally scared for Dormé.
She pulled him closer as well and leant her head on his shoulder. 'And I promise I will do whatever I can to—I do want this baby... I'm just so scared for it...'
'We will do everything we can to ensure nothing happens to our child and I will do everything I can to ensure nothing happens to you,' he whispered in a voice thick with emotion.
It pained Dormé that Anakin felt he was inadequate in any way. He didn't have to tell her, for it was all too clear in his expression. She meant it when she said she only needed him. Even just knowing he was near would be enough to lift her spirits and assure her that everything would be all right, that they would make it through this. But she wasn't about to prevent him from being proactive, even if it meant when the time came that he wouldn't be there. She knew it would hurt him too much to be there and be helpless. She wouldn't force him to bear witness to it. 'I understand,' she replied softly, gazing up at him from where her head rested on his shoulder. If only she knew just how much Anakin needed her in return.
Her simple statement said all that needed to be said and Anakin was so relieved to know that Dormé understood his need to do all he could to ensure the safety of his beloved and their child. It meant everything to know that despite his failings, his flaws and the fact he wasn't everything that the Jedi or the Sith had hoped he would become, he was enough for her.
She reached up to touch his cheek again, stroking it with her thumb. She had missed him so much and hoped he wouldn't soon be parting once more at least not until he had rested up and had a few proper meals in. But she also knew just how futile it would be to try to keep him here with her for long. Part of her just wanted to go with him to find more healers, but knew this was another unspoken impossibility.
Without a word, he pulled her in closer, wanting her to know all he couldn't bring himself to say in that moment as his emotions were running too high. Anakin felt her concern and wanted nothing more than to ease it. 'I will do everything in my power to ensure that my search doesn't take me away from you or our baby for long,' he said in soft and sincere tones as he drew back a strand of her hair behind her ear.
'Good,' she replied. Studying him closely, she could tell there was something else, though she wasn't exactly sure what it was. It wasn't only that she felt he wouldn't be around, it's that she felt he didn't want to be around, in case there was another miscarriage. Dormé felt as though he would rather not be home when it happened again, so that it would be easier for him, that this search was just an excuse. Deep down, she knew it wasn't true, but she had a hard time convincing herself that it wasn't. She wasn't aware just how keenly he felt things she went through, that because of their Force bond, he had experienced the miscarriages as if they were his own. Because of this, she had no idea just how prominently it affected him, even when he wasn't home.
Holding her close Anakin tried to keep his thoughts from slipping into despair, from falling prey to the hopelessness that seemed ever looming at the back of his mind. This time he would not fail, this time their baby would make it, it just had too. Even as he tried to convince himself that this time they would finally have a child, Anakin couldn't deny the feeling that everything was now hanging on a thread. That one wrong mistake, one wrong move could cost him everything he had ever loved and ever wanted. Without Dormé, he was nothing, and never did he feel the weight of that fact as he did in that moment. It was these thoughts that confirmed his need to find a healer, to locate someone that would understand why this was happening and ensure it wouldn't happen again.
'When are you leaving?' she asked.
'I want to begin the search right away but I'm going to try and do as much as I can at home before departing,' he admitted uncertain how long he'd be able to stay at home or how long he'd be gone for.
After the time spent in Aené's memorial, Dormé had felt something she hadn't since she discovered she was pregnant again: hope. With Anakin's return, for some reason, that hope seemed to dissipate with each passing moment. Dormé didn't understand why this was, for Anakin had always been her strength and security. As much as Dormé understood Anakin's desire to find help, even his desire not to be there should another miscarriage occur, she couldn't fathom why part of her thought it was for the best. If she lost another baby, would it sever them so severely that—no, she wouldn't consider that. She had an empire to run while he was away. Their people needed her to be strong in the face of tragedy.
While eager to find someone to assist Dormé as their child grew and developed, there was a part of Anakin, which longed to remain by her side. He feared that something would happen in his absence that once more, their baby wouldn't make it and that neither would his beloved. However, such thoughts weren't encouraging and in the face of this opportunity—as hopeless as it might appear—Anakin didn't want to dwell on anything but the positive. He knew he had to if not for her sake than for the sake of their child for the strange and unknown struggle that awaited it. He would not fail her this time, not again.
Just as Dormé's thoughts turned to their empire, the buzzer on their private quarters sounded loudly. How dare someone interrupt! How dare they tread their private wing!
Anakin uttered a soft curse of frustration.
Dormé slid from Anakin's embrace, saying, 'I'll take care of this,' in a deadly tone. She grabbed her wakizashi on her way to the main chamber to answer the door.
At her deadly statement, the emperor couldn't resist a smirk as he watched her grab her blade and depart to the door with all the pomp and stance of a dark goddess.
She didn't wait to hear the message, but slaughtered the messenger. The officer accompanying him, didn't dare to speak as Dormé said, 'You will tell everyone in our empire that today is an official day of remembrance for Princess Aené. It is a day of rest and reflection. There will be no more interruptions today. My husband is home. Is that understood?'
The officer nervously nodded in response.
'Good. Now, have a droid tend to this mess and leave us.'
The officer nodded, bowed, and scurried off to do her bidding.
He didn't need to ask what she had in mind as it was clear enough and as he felt the man's spirit return to the Force, his smirk turned to a dark smile that reflected the brief peace felt. It was satisfying to feel another's pain, to hear their cries through the Force and to know that even for a moment his own sorrow had been silenced because of it. While he didn't hear the entire conversation between his wife and the officer—for his thoughts were elsewhere—Anakin caught the tail end and felt another rush of satisfaction though it was bittersweet. The memory of Aené was even now, three years later, a painful one for him and just thinking about their little princess made his heart ache once more.
Dormé returned her sword to its resting place without bothering to wipe it clean of the messenger's blood and embraced Anakin, sighing. 'I—I think I saw Aené today at her memorial...at least I think I did, but it could have been a daydream, but I just...I think she's all right. I think she's happy and isn't angry with me, with us.'
The Sith Lord's thoughts shifted back to the memory of their daughter and, pulling her closer, he listened to Dormé intently. His eyes shone with unshed tears as for the first time since the princess's passing he felt a hint of peace. 'I have no doubt in my mind that it was her. I've heard many legends, stories from my younger days about loved one's returning from the Force to comfort those who remained here,' Anakin said softly as his hand slipped to her cheek. The thought that their daughter had returned to comfort Dormé was a wondrous one indeed and while he wished he could have been witness Anakin was so thankful that Dormé was able to see Aené. That their daughter was able to return to let her ama know she was okay, that she loved them and that she was happy where she was now.
'I wish you could have been there to see her,' Dormé said as he touched her cheek.
Anakin fell silent at Dormé's words as inwardly he recalled the sight of their daughter but under very different circumstances. He didn't want to speak of them however as this was a sacred moment, one he would much rather Dormé look back on fondly over the recollection of his own experiences.
'She was—she's so beautiful...' Dormé went on to describe how she looked, though it was only a split-second it would forever remain etched in her memory. She was unaware that Anakin had already seen her, only under other circumstances far grimmer.
Hearing Dormé speak of their daughter only confirmed his belief that this was more than just a vision or a trick of her mind. The little girl she spoke of looked exactly as he remembered and upon hearing of the brief interaction that occurred between ama and daughter the Sith Lord couldn't help but feel touched by it. Despite the fact he wasn't there to witness it first hand he knew how much it meant to Dormé and that was enough for him. 'I'm so glad you were able to see her. To know our little girl is okay and happy,' he whispered feeling his emotions getting the better of him as a sad smile crept into his features. 'She returned because she loves you, Dormé, and didn't want to see you in pain,' he concluded gently.
Dormé was relieved to hear that it was real, that it had not been a dream, that Anakin believed Aené had really visited her. His concluding words hardly prevented tears from coming to her eyes.
'I love you, Anakin,' she said before kissing him, hoping to ease his pain, assure him that Aené and she were both all right and that she had come to terms with what happened. It would not reflect whatever would happen with this pregnancy. Aené had returned hope to her and she wished it for Anakin as well, despite his need to leave her side, which deep down she knew was not going to be forever.
Holding her close the emperor closed his eyes as her words moved him deeply for Dormé wasn't one who easily expressed her feelings. Touching her cheek, he opened his eyes once more to gaze into hers 'I love you so much, Dormé' he whispered in reply before returning her kiss. Finding assurance in both her kiss and all that could not be said. Though their daughter could not physically be with them, the fact she had returned to his wife, to express her love was a sign that Anakin could not ignore. Finding hope for the first time in what felt like an eternity Anakin tightened his embrace as he gave a contented sigh. Maybe, just maybe this time their deepest wish and prayer would finally be answered.
'You'll never find another more trustworthy or skilled in her arts Anakin. Believe me; Edeja is as cautious as you are when it comes to this sort of matter.'
Anakin frowned at the memory of Kei's words. He couldn't help but find it odd that Edeja herself couldn't be bothered to tell him this information in person. Although when he challenged Kei about this fact the tactician just gave an apologetic look and admitted Dormé's treatment of the messenger she had sent to reach the empress had unnerved her. Anakin had no real memory of what Kei was referring to he soon learnt that it had occurred about four months ago. Hardly finding this to be an excuse Anakin demanded that in the future if she had something to tell him or Dormé she was to do it in person. Kei promised he would relay the message. It had yet to occur to Anakin that the last time he had seen Kei's wife was just before Edeja learnt she was pregnant with their son. This was almost a year ago.
But after spending four months of constantly seeking out healers of every faith, culture and world, Anakin was beginning to run out of hope. Though he knew Kei meant well and had no reason to lie to him, Anakin couldn't help but feel sceptical. Never in his life had he encountered so many charlatans—all claiming to be masters in their field. Naturally, he slaughtered them all so as to ensure they wouldn't further mock the people of their empire with lies.
'Why have you come here?' the woman stated in soft tones, breaking the silence as she studied him with piercing emerald eyes.
The Sith Lord forced his thoughts clear as he kept his attentions on the fire in front of him. This woman he knew was Force sensitive and a fairly powerful one at that. However, she was obviously untrained, though it was no small wonder how she managed to evade training with the Order.
'I should think the reason is obvious,' Anakin replied after a moment's pause. He was hardly in the mood to play such games but with his options rapidly running out Vader felt he really had no choice but to play along. At least this one appeared to be a real healer.
'No, I am not referring to your request,' she began before pausing for breath. 'I'm asking you to tell me why you have personally come here,' the healer clarified as she poked at the small fire in front of her and Anakin.
The emperor gave a frustrated sigh as he glared at her. 'What does it matter? So what if I'm here in person or not, I need you to return to Coruscant with me to act as the empress's midwife,' he growled.
While normally most would have cowered under such a reaction, the old woman just shook her head slightly in reply and remained silent. The fire continued to crackle and snap, while the flames cast shadows all over the small but cosy work shed.
Though he knew little of such things, Anakin could tell just by looking around this small building that the old woman enjoyed crafting jewellery. Vader could also tell that there was a blacksmith who resided here—most likely the old man he saw shovelling snow upon his arrival.
'You seek answers to questions you are too afraid to ask,' she said before pausing to catch her breath.
Had the emperor been less self-absorbed, he might have been curious as to why the old woman struggled to breathe, or why she walked with a limp. But Anakin wasn't renowned for his observance and so it was promptly missed. However, the meaning behind her words was not and his expression grew almost desperate upon hearing them. 'What do you know? Tell me now,' Anakin stated a little too quickly to deny his concern and fear over the entire matter.
The old woman just bowed her head in reply leaving the Sith Lord feeling both frustrated and impatient.
'You will tell me now or I will kill you for your insolence!' he shouted now as he drew his lightsaber.
The woman's head suddenly snapped up catching his attention immediately as her eyes held his gaze demanding his full attention. 'Only your absence will assure that your heart's desire is granted.'
Anakin's eyes flickered with confusion at this statement as he furrowed his brow. 'What? What is that supposed to mean?' he demanded feeling a rush of fear that only his subconscious could understand.
Her eyes were now glazed and distant marking that she was in a trance of sorts. 'The dark mistress never gives; she only takes…always takes. Your hands, so covered in blood, tainted by the darkness you wield, chokes out all the life that you touch. Only death awaits you should you return now. Only death awaits mother and child,' the old woman stated with frightening clarity as Anakin stared at her in horrified disbelief.
The terrifying revelation left his mind reeling as all coherent thought was lost in that moment. Though Vader was not one who easily grasped metaphors or riddles, this message was just too painfully clear to ignore. Panic gripped his heart as did despair and confusion. If what she had said was indeed true, it would mean Aené and the others were dead because—
Immediately, the Sith Lord drew upon the dark side forcing with such speed that it left him feeling light-headed from the powerful rush it brought on. With Anakin's fears and pain now numbed by the darkness and his doubts buried beneath the lies, he told himself Anakin promptly succumbed to his rage.
'SHUT UP!' he screamed, grabbing the woman by her long, red hair, causing her to cry out in pain.
Speaking swiftly in her language she began to cry out to the goddess she served to protect her.
Anakin was swifter and with unnatural speed slammed her face full-force against the stone fireplace. 'SHUT UP!'
The woman's screams still echoed in his ears along with the sound of bone being crushed but it didn't stop him.
'SHUT UP!'
The woman fell silent and soon went limp. Her face was a bloodied mess, but still, he continued to vent his rage. 'SHUT UP!'
Her features were no longer recognisable now as blood and matter decorated the once elegant and beautifully crafted fireplace. The fire continued to flicker and dance with life adding to the surrealism of the moment.
Anakin was too lost in his rage and in the dark side to even register that the woman was long dead now. He was so tired of the lies, so tired of the games and of the incompetence of those he so desperately sought help from. Even this was bearable by comparison to the horrible suggestion that this witch had made. How dare she speak such blasphemy! Did she not know that he had only a short time ago lost his little princess Aené? Did he not tell her that his beloved had already lost three children? That should this baby die, his beloved would die too? Did she not know what that would mean for him? That without Dormé he too was as good as dead?
It was these thoughts that poured through his enraged mind as he continued to beat the lifeless corpse against the fireplace while demanding silence. But despite his continued violence Anakin could still hear the sound of weeping and it made him even more furious. Screaming louder for the old woman to shut up, Anakin became so consumed by the dark side he could no longer register his actions or the tears of rage that spilled down his bloodied cheeks.
'Stop it, Daddy!'
It was only at the sound of a little girl's panicked and terrified voice begging Anakin to stop was he able to regain some semblance of control. Whirling around the Sith Lord immediately dropped what was left of the old woman's corpse. It was only then that he realised the weeping he had heard before was that of a child, not the old woman.
'Please stop it!'
'Aené?' he whispered in horror and shame as his sickly yellow eyes—now fading back to blue—fell to the phantom image of their daughter.
Staring up at him in silence, the young princess said not a word. It wasn't necessary as her terrified and sorrowful expression spoke volumes.
Speechless, Anakin opened his mouth to try and apologise, to beg forgiveness, but it was too late. The blonde-haired, freckled princess was swift to step back just as he was about to step forward before disappearing out of sight.
Shaken by his experience, Anakin leant heavily against the wall as he struggled to keep from openly weeping. Sensing the old man still nearby, the Sith Lord decided it was time to leave. Not bothering to hide the evidence of his actions, he promptly departed for his ship, not caring about the old man's reaction, but not wanting to be around for it either. While it would have been only too easy to kill him, Vader was far too shaken by the visit of their daughter to contemplate such thoughts. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to return to the only place he truly ever longed to be: Dormé's arms.
Upon returning to his ship, the Sith Lord was finally able to regain some semblance of control over his emotions. Though he loathed returning home empty-handed, Vader decided it was time to call his hunt off, at least for now. It was proving to be a fruitless cause and after the incident involving the hermit healer, he was more than ready to take a much needed break. As hard as it was, Anakin finally managed to bury the memory of Aené's image into the back of his mind, just as he forced himself to ignore the echoing recollection of her weeping and desperate pleas for him to stop. To dwell on it would only lead to despair and he wasn't about to return home to his beloved in such a state of mind.
After cleaning up, the emperor was about to make contact with his empress when he discovered a few messages waiting for him that were marked Urgent. Given the channel they came from, Anakin knew it meant only one thing and though he was guarded, the possibility of finding a real healer who could help them was too much to resist. It was because of this that he accepted the messages and made the final arrangements to ensure the healers in question would arrive to the palace upon his return. Once this was completed and everything was set in motion, Anakin cleared his thoughts of the haunting experiences of earlier before preparing to contact the empress herself. Though he was excited to return home, he was even more impatient about making contact with Dormé, as he desperately missed her and wanted to let her know of his return.
Today, she received a transmission on one the secured line which only Anakin and she used. He was coming home. 'It's about time!' she said, only partially joking, partially pretending to be fierce, for she had missed him and she thought their son did too.
The sight of her brought an immediate smile to his features and Anakin felt almost at peace for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Her teasing caused his smile to widen though it didn't hide the silent sorrow in his eyes that marked his agreement. 'It has been far too long,' he admitted truthfully as his fingers danced along the shimmering outline of her cheek. 'The search is over, Dormé,' he continued, 'I have a few healers who will be arriving shortly after my arrival that I hope will suit our needs.'
'We have to think of names, you know, for our son. I'm most certainly not doing that alone.'
Anakin's expression softened as he felt his heart swell. However, it wasn't without its cost as he immediately recalled the old healer's final words to him. Promptly, he glanced away, swallowing hard as he buried the memory before returning his attentions to Dormé once more. 'I'm already looking forward to it,' Vader said in sincere tones as he studied her intently. 'I will see you and our son soon,' he concluded gently.
'I eagerly await your return, my love,' Dormé concluded, ending the transmission before tears surfaced. It was such a relief to hear that he would be home for good and that he had succeeded in the mission which had taken him away from her for far too long. She hoped the separation hadn't also created a space between them.
Anakin gave a loving smile at her words as his fingers continued to outline her cheek through the transmission. 'I will be as quick as possible,' he promised with fierce sincerity.
It was with the joyous news in mind that Dormé hurriedly began preparing a huge celebration feast for him. She invited all of their closest allies and friends, like the Breemus and Saché and Captain Typho. There was so much to celebrate and her heart was full with expectation and hope. Rubbing her still growing middle, she murmured happily, 'Daddy's coming home,' smiling softly.
Once the transmission was over, the Sith Lord found his thoughts falling back onto the healer's words and the image of Aené. Struggling with his emotions Anakin drew in a shaky breath as he prepared for departure. Now is not the time to dwell this, he reminded himself fiercely as he quickly blinked away tears before taking to the skies.
After her examinations, she went to change and took her time finding the perfect gown for the celebration. She ended up choosing a simple yet elegant scarlet gown that folded gently over her curves. Once she fastened her golden wedding band around her arm, she was ready to welcome the guests.
Not long after the majority of the guests arrived, Anakin was landing and she rushed to the platform to greet him. It wouldn't hurt if they were both a bit late, fashionably so, to the celebration... She hardly paid the security team mind as she was on a mission of her own to greet her wayward husband. 'Anakin!' she cheered, racing over to him.
The journey home was a swift one although not nearly as swift as Vader would have liked. Upon his arrival, he was promptly greeted by his security who informed him that the healers were already looking at his wife. However, Anakin hardly paid this any mind as his thoughts are elsewhere as he was far more concerned about seeing his wife once more. Anakin could sense Dormé's presence even before he laid eyes on her just as he could sense their son. His heart swelled at the sensation and for the moment the words of warning were entirely forgotten as was the haunting image of Aené. It wasn't long before he saw his beautiful queen and promptly rushed forward to swoop Dormé—albeit carefully—into his arms before pulling her in for a passionate kiss. How he had missed holding her close, the feel of her lips against his own, the sweet scent of water flowers that lingered about her. He was truly home now and the Sith Lord couldn't have been happier.
'Oh Dormé, how I've missed you!' he whispered feeling as though it was only now in her arms that he was truly able to breathe again.
Dormé kissed him back in such a way as to reveal to him how much she had desperately missed him. 'Anakin,' she said after they parted, stroking his cheek.
Anakin studied her intently as their kiss concluded before leaning in to meet Dormé's lips once more. He was elated to see how healthy she looked and to feel the small life growing within her. Everything was as it should be and it almost made him light-headed with joy.
It wasn't until their son began kicking her that she gasped and had to cease kissing him. 'Looks like someone else missed you too,' she said, grinning wildly.
Anakin was about to reach out to touch their son's Force signature -by means of greeting- when Dormé gasped and end their kiss abruptly. Distracted by her words, the Sith Lord beamed in reply as he gave her a gentle squeeze. 'I'm so glad to see your both are health and safe,' he breathed as his hand slipped to her small but swollen belly. 'I've missed you so much my little one,' he said in gentle tones to the growing baby.
'She then informed him what the healers told her about their conditions.
The news was good to say the least and this added to Anakin's good spirits. 'That's so wonderful!' he said with a grin as he touched her cheek before she took his hand and led him inside.
'But that's not all we have to celebrate,' Dormé said, taking his hand and leading him inside. 'I had a little surprise planned for your return...'
'Oh? Dare I ask?' he teased with a wink.
'That part of the surprise will be later,' Dormé said giving him a wink of her own. 'Actually, I've got a celebration feast—a large gathering of allies awaiting you in the great hall.'
Anakin's expression grew mischievous as she gave him a wink and promptly he pulled her in for a quick kiss. As she further explained that she had planned a celebration feast for them and their allies, Anakin grinned rather liking the idea. Although in truth he was far fonder of the after surprise, which he hoped would involve Dormé's gown being long forgotten on the floor.
She blushed slightly. 'I hope you're not too tired from your journey...' she said, still pulling him along eagerly towards the hall.
For now, Anakin was just as content to enjoy Dormé in all of her splendour and he did little to hide this as he followed her towards the hall. At her words he just shook his head as he gave her an admiring smile. 'Not anymore,' he remarked with an impish look.
Dormé beamed at him as they entered the hall. Resounding cheers and applause echoed in the grand hall upon the imperial couples' appearance.
From the minute she entered the vast hall, everyone's eyes were on empress, the least of them being the emperor himself. Magnificent didn't even begin to describe the beauty of his Empress. Radiant and ethereal came to mind, but didn't come close to embodying his thoughts pertaining to her. Though Empress Dormé Vader was just about eight months along, she barely showed. Unless one was aware of her pregnancy and knew just what to look for, the folds of her gown virtually hid all evidence. But Emperor Anakin knew and was more than bursting with pride at the very subtle hint of a bulge which the folds revealed as she moved.
Dormé raised a hand in acceptance and appreciation of their applause. She scanned their adoring friends and wondered where the Breemus were. She thought she had seen Kei, but thought perhaps she might have been mistaken.
The gathering was grand and the celebrations worthy of the beauty who now stood by his side. Dormé outshone even the most extravagant of the partygoers and it took all of Anakin's willpower and control not to have his way with his wife right there and then, but politics demanded a certain level of restraint and so, out of duty, he refrained. This didn't, however, stop him from caressing her form with his eyes. What he would give to send everyone home or depart early with his queen!
Soon they were seated at the high table, enjoying the feast and more importantly each other's company. Dormé was all smiles, eager to end this celebration to begin the private one.
Why? What had she done to deserve this? What reason did he have to do this to her? her thoughts cried out to the goddess only to receive silence in answer. The news of the former high priestess's death had only reached a short time ago and Edeja was still in shock over it. The old hermit had always led a peaceful life even when she served in the temples she was always loved by the people. Everyone referred to her as though she was their grandma or mother and Edeja knew her death would not be taken well by the remnants of their people.
Though she mourned the death of her mentor, she also mourned the loss of life that was certain to follow once word of the old priestess's murder reached the public. It would only be a matter of time before the truth was revealed and she knew that it would be this truth that would cause the streets to run red with the blood of the innocent. If only she could make Kei understand, if only she could make him listen. But this was not the moment for such discussion and so she remained silent and instead chose to find what solace she could in his arms.
Tomorrow was another day and it would be tomorrow that she would confront him and plead once more for him to end their alliance with the Empire. She could only pray to the goddess that this time he would listen but she had a sinking feeling it would take more than that.
Despite the fact Anakin was more eager to begin the private celebrations with his wife, he couldn't deny the fact the evening was a wonderful success. As the night wore on, Anakin could sense something was wrong with Dormé and though she spoke not a word of it, the Sith Lord's old fears began to return with a vengeance. Recalling the fact she had seen a few of the healers earlier in the day, Vader began to grow paranoid. He wished he could have been there so as to monitor their actions, to at least sense through the Force if they were being honest. Nevertheless, he kept his thoughts to himself as the memory of the old healer's words returned to haunt him as well.
Dormé ignored the kicks, feeling it was nothing unusual and hardly anything to worry about. And when the kicks became softer and then stopped, she thought it was only that their son was sleeping. But then the sour feeling in her stomach increased to the point that even water no longer tasted good. As their guests filtered out of the hall and she was bidding farewell alongside her husband, Dormé's head began to spin and she could no longer keep her balance. She gripped onto Anakin's arm, steadying herself momentarily before sliding to the floor.
Instincts immediately took over and time suddenly seemed to move to a crawl. Anakin swiftly placed his hand around her waist as he turned to catch her eyes rolling to the back of her head while the rest of her body went limp. Sheer panic flooded his thoughts as he caught her petite form before it completely slid to the floor. '...No...Not again. This isn't happening...' he whimpered in barely audible tones as he swiftly scooped her up into his arms. Everyone around began to swarm closer to learn what had happened, but promptly drew back as Anakin glared at them using the Force to silently order them away.
Struggling to maintain control of his emotions, the Sith Lord ordered members of security to contact the medics. The med droid who had been stationed at the banquet as a precautionary measure promptly approached and began to monitor Dormé's condition. The results were inconclusive in regards to the cause but it was apparent that both the baby and the mother were both fading and quickly.
'Your hands, so covered in blood, tainted by the darkness you wield, chokes out all the life that you touch. Only death awaits you should you return now. Only death awaits mother and child.'
The old woman's words returned with a vengeance and from it came another rush of panicked rage. It was the healer's doing. The horrid witch and her allies did this to them! Anakin closed his eyes as he struggled to steady his breathing to control his raging thoughts while the med droid continued to monitor Dormé and their baby.
'Blood pressure dropping 15...heart-rate up 12...' the med droid droned on informing the rest of the medical staff that arrived to tend to the unconscious form that still remained in Anakin's arms.
'Your grace, if I may—' a polite voice stated causing Anakin's eyes to snap open.
Registering that it was a physician, he said nothing, but silently assisted in placing the now ashen form of Dormé onto a repulsorlift bed. Frozen in position, Anakin could only watch as his worst nightmare began to unfold before his very eyes. For a moment, he couldn't move and in silence watched frozen in position as the medical staff disappeared out of the great hall. It was only when he was alone that Vader was able to register his surroundings once more.
Consumed by rage, despair, and sorrow he did the only thing he knew how to do best. Anakin called upon the darkness using it to numb his sorrow once more while focussing on his rage. It was the healers' fault, of that he was certain. Though nagging doubts lingered in his thoughts it was just easy to point fingers at everyone else, far less painful too. It was with this in mind that the emperor drew his lightsaber and promptly departed for the guest wings where he knew the healers would be residing. He would make them pay and would ensure they suffered slow and painful deaths. It was their fault after all that his wife and child's life once more was in peril. Their fault that they had come so close to fulfilling their dream of having a child only to have it all fall apart once more.
Yet despite his wish to make their death's long and painful, Anakin was swift in his slaughter. Even though the dark side coursed through his veins, leaving him drunk with bloodlust, Anakin couldn't ignore the fear that he might encounter their little princess again. The thought of Aené watching him, with her amber eyes so filled with sorrow and terror, was too much to bear. As such, his plans of torture were long forgotten as he chose to behead them one-by-one instead.
As the last body fell the ground, with her head only a short distance away, the Sith Lord felt his thoughts returning to him once more. This time there, was no phantom image of Aené, no childlike weeping or voices begging him to stop, and Anakin couldn't have been more relieved. But this moment was short-lived as soon his thoughts returned to Dormé and their son and with it came another rush of fear and sorrow.
Racing down the hallways, the emperor moved as swiftly as he could towards the medlabs. Though it wasn't far from the royal wing, it felt like it was light-years away for the frantic Vader, whose thoughts were racing with panic. Though he could still sense Dormé's Force signature as well as their son's, it was weak, far weaker than he had ever witnessed before.
As he entered the medical lab, an old man, whom Vader recognised as a specialist, approached him. Not one to mince words, Anakin demanded to know Dormé's condition as well as their son's. He soon learnt the prognosis wasn't good, but before he could succumb to his panic or even have a chance to react, he was being escorted out of the surgery room. Though Dormé's situation was critical, it appeared they were on the verge of stabilizing her and the baby until his arrival.
It was only when he was led to the old doctor's small office down the hall that Anakin came to his senses.
The doctor grimly presented the emperor with a datapad that held even more bad news.
'What is this?' Anakin demanded as he stared at the data pad that had been given to him.
The old doctor furrowed his brow as he gave a soft sigh. 'It is legalities pertaining to the complications surrounding your wife and son. I can explain it to you if you like, but I imagine you probably prefer to read it yourself,' the doctor said quietly.
The young emperor stared in frustration at the data pad in his hand cursing the fact the document was written in Basic. Not exactly a skilled reader even in his native tongue of Huttese, Anakin found much of the document to be indecipherable to him. 'I don't have time for this; just tell me what I need to know so I can get back to my wife and our son,' Vader snapped, retuning the datapad.
'What you need to know, your grace, is that your wife and son are in critical condition. While we have been doing all we can to stabilize both mother and child, we have been running into repeated complications. The worst of these complications is what you were witness to moments ago.'
Anakin fell silent at the doctor's words. He glanced away, turning his attentions to the window as his mind struggled to understand what was happening. Had he not killed the healer's responsible? Did he not remove the threat? So why was this still happening?
'What exactly are these complications? And what is causing them? And don't bother trying to tell me you don't know because I know damn well that you do!' he growled. Though his words were directed at the doctor, Anakin's eyes remained focused on the window that overlooked the surgery room where Dormé was held below.
'Don't you think if I knew what was wrong I would have tended to it by now? Listen to me, young man, I've been in this line of work for over thirty years and I've never seen anything like this. 'Whether we like it or not, we are dealing with a most unusual situation, one that hasn't been logged or recorded in medical history—'
Anakin gripped his hand around the doctor's throat as he slammed him against the back wall. 'That is what they say and I killed every single one of them for it. Now, you either tell me what in the abyss is going on with my wife and our son, or I will snap your neck as though it were a twig,' Anakin hissed through gritted teeth.
Though the man was obviously terrified, his expression remained stoic as he returned Vader's poisoned gaze. Clawing at his throat, he struggled to breathe, let alone speak.
The familiar and haunting sound of a baby's cry echoed through the Force.
Staggering back from the now confused and concerned doctor, Anakin swallowed hard as he struggled to clear his thoughts. Closing his eyes, he prayed that when he opened them, he wouldn't see the sorrowful eyes of their unborn daughter.
'Emperor Vader, I do not wish to sound callous, but this is an urgent matter, one that cannot wait any longer,' the old man stated in a voice that was far steadier than most would be in his position.
After a moment's pause, Anakin opened his eyes and returned his attentions to the specialist once more. 'What is it that I am signing exactly?' he stated in quiet tones.
'In the event that only one can be saved, it is often decided amongst the parents whom it will be. This is the document stating your decision to save either the mother or the child.'
Long gone was the fierce and frightening Sith Lord of moments ago, leaving in its wake the broken man who now stared at the specialist with a look that only a man who has lost everything could truly understand.
'Mother or child?' Anakin croaked in pained horror, already knowing the answer Dormé had given without even looking at the datapad.
The old doctor nodded his expression as grim as Anakin felt in that moment. 'I'm sorry, son, but with a pregnancy as complicated as this one, such a possibility is very real,' the old man said in understanding tones.
Anakin drew in a shaky breath as he continued to stare out the window struggling to wrap his mind around the severity of the situation. 'She chose to save the child, didn't she?' the Sith Lord whispered as he continued to look straight ahead. Though Anakin should have been grateful that the baby's weeping of earlier had been silenced, he couldn't help but feel that it was another bad sign.
'Yes, she did.'
How such a simple statement could wound so deeply, Anakin couldn't say, but for a moment, he was rendered speechless because of it. He shook his head in reply as he struggled to find his voice. 'No. I won't do it. I won't let her do it,' he whispered through clenched teeth.
'Why not?' the old physician challenged.
'I can't,' Anakin said hoarsely in reply as he fought back tears of despair. 'I can't lose her, I won't lose her.'
'Lady Dormé has already lost three babies, one of which was stillborn. She is now on the verge of losing her fourth should you not grant her this last wish.'
'Do you think I'm not aware of this already?' Vader shouted in reply as he slammed his cybernetic fist against the metal ledge causing it to bend out of shape.
The old doctor didn't react to the emperor's outburst and continued as though Anakin hadn't shouted in the first place. 'How much more do you think she can take? The empress's life was hanging by a thread long before all of this came to pass. I knew that the minute I saw her that she would not survive another miscarriage.'
'If you knew she was dying, why didn't you tell me?' Anakin growled, whirling around to face the old doctor once more.
'Because she wasn't dying in the literal sense of the word. She was dying in here,' the old man snapped back as he poked Anakin in the chest. 'Surely you could see it when you looked at her that she is a woman who has seen and been through so much more than a woman her age—or any age for that matter—should ever experience in their lifetime. Do you really think by physically saving her, you'll be able to save what has died inside of her? Or are you just so lost in your selfish need to keep her alive for your own sake that it doesn't matter anymore? If she loses this baby and survives to speak of it, I can assure you that she will become nothing more than a shadow of what you once knew and loved.'
Anakin staggered back until he felt the glass pane against him. Closing his eyes, he tried once more to clear his thoughts to deny the old man's words, to tell himself that he had every right to save Dormé, that it was his duty to protect her from harm. But the more he tried to deny Dormé's last wish, the clearer it became that he really had no choice left, but to grant it.
As though sensing Anakin's thoughts, the old doctor continued to speak quietly. 'Listen to me, son, I know you are in a difficult position where there are no easy answers. Believe me, I know how hard this is, but in all honesty, I think you should you should respect your wife's decision. If not for anything than for the fact that she would want you to be supportive of her and of the choice she has made.'
As much as he didn't want to hear this, Vader couldn't deny the truth. With a shaky breath, Anakin forced himself to clear his thoughts before opening his eyes and quietly asking for the datapad once more.
Once it was in his hand, the Sith Lord let his eyes scroll down the bottom of the pad where his fingerprint and signature was required. With a shaky hand, and eye blurred from unshed tears, the emperor proceeded to place his signature and fingerprint onto the document, marking his silent support of Dormé's decision.
Upon completion, Vader promptly shoved the datapad and electronic pen into the old doctor's hands before swiftly storming out of the small office and then out of the medlab.
Though he knew that time was swiftly running out, Anakin wouldn't allow himself to believe that there was no more hope to be found. As he stormed down the hallways, another thought occurred to him, forcing him to stop in mid-step. The Sith Lord knew he had no choice. It was either face his former mentor and brother once more or be forced to standby and watch as Dormé died in the battle to save their baby.
|
Review this Chapter |
