|A Perfect World
Author: bethellie PM
Heaven did have its perks, after allRated: Fiction K+ - English - Supernatural - Kate T. - Words: 1,227 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 02-14-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3392830
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Authors Note: I can't really explain this, except to say that I started out, and went quite a long way, with a completely different idea in mind, and then this happened. I never imagined I would write something like this, in fact it happened quite by accident, and will not be something I do a second time.
It's a little bit…weird, and I guess touches on things some people do believe in. It is not my intention to offend anyone by presenting these things in an incorrect way; this is just what came to me. I realised in writing it that the idea was similar to something I read in a novel once. If anyone recognises that, well, I promise I will mention said story at the end.
This, would you believe, started because I wanted to write something about the episode 'singled out'…and the way the things McGee said to Tony annoyed me so much. As it turns out, this has absolutely and completely nothing to do with that. Go figure.
At some point, after making it to heaven, and desperately wishing she could go back and tell everyone it did exist, she had, for the most part, accepted her place there. She still had moments of anger, of course. All people in paradise do from time to time. That kind of perfection does not come without some kind of price.
Her first and most consuming anger was at Ari. He had taken her life. Cut it short. Every time she witnessed a special moment that she could no longer be a part of, she felt that rage. Even his death had not helped. Not completely. He may have been dead, but so was she. His death could not change that. And she couldn't even hate him. Where ever he had gone, (and who knows, he could have made it to heaven) she found herself hoping he had found his peace.
One thing people have to learn, in heaven, is ways to occupy their time. It was a surprisingly boring place, Kate had discovered. The majority of them filled their hours watching the living. Not surprising, really. Yet at first, Kate could not bring herself to do the same. Watching people without their knowledge or consent felt way too much like something DiNozzo would do. Temptation, however, quickly took care of that, and she was soon doing the same.
And of course, she watched her friends. By the time she had figured out how, and gotten over her trepidation, the world around them was once again moving forward, and they had been thrown into other things. Not that they seemed to mind. She had seen a conversation between Tony and Agent Cassidy, watching as he avoided all her offers of a serious conversation, wishing he would accept. She watched conversations between Abby and McGee, and saw the way they gave each other support. Watched Gibbs as he worked on his boat, and dealt with his demons in his own unique way.
The only discernible memory from the time of Gibbs coma, and the period that followed, was the moment he had quit, and the looks on their faces. She had cried silently, surprised that tears were allowed in such a perfect world.
She found herself watching them more and more, after that. Seeing how things were going. Thrilled they were all back together again, even as it pained her to see their lives continue without her in it. She couldn't stop herself from wishing she was still there, still alive, still a part of that world.
The next best thing to being there, she decided, was to spend all her time watching. It could be just like it had been. She didn't watch the rest of the world, anymore. She lay on the soft grass she imagined was beneath her (heaven did have its perks, after all), and watched Gibbs and his team as they made it through each day. She simply chose to ignore that they seemed to be living their lives as if she had never been a part of it.
A woman with kind eyes approached her, and held out her hand. She told her it was time to leave. Kate asked her why. The lady told her that the people she loved would be alright, and that she would be too. That they were finally ready to let her go, and that she needed to do the same.
Kate looked down at her friends with a smile, then turned and followed the lady towards the light. She did not look back.