The Woo Lily Plan

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Chapter 1:
The Plan
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Sirius tossed a rock up in the air and caught it as it came back down, in attempts to entertain himself as he sat out near the lake. He was waiting again. He hated waiting. Especially when it was for James. Even more especially when he was waiting for James to finish up trying to woo Lily.

"Do you think it will work this time?" Peter asked hopefully, pulling out some pretzels from his pocket that he had taken from lunch earlier.

"It's doubtful." Remus said absently, his nose thoroughly buried in a book, "He has yet to change his methods of persuasion."

"James said he had a good idea this time, though."

"James also said levitating all the books out of the Transfiguration room was a good idea."

Sirius laughed loudly at the mention of the books, "That was a good idea, Moony! We didn't have book work for a week!"

"You seem to forget the month's worth of detention you received." Remus reminded him.

Sirius shrugged, "You act like that's a bad thing. I've got a reputation to think of."

"Well I hope Lily does go out with James." Peter said thoughtfully.

Sirius scoffed, "Maybe he'll shut up about her." He tossed a rock into the lake brutally.

Remus smiled; bringing his face out of his book, "Is that jealousy I hear?"

"Of Lily?" Peter tilted his head in confusion.

"What?" No! It's just getting old." Sirius growled.

Remus mused in an unbelieving way and looked back to his book.

"What would I be jealous of?" Sirius continued angrily.

"James is spending more time trying to be with Lily than he is with us."

Sirius growled in response.

"You don't think he'd leave do you?" Peter asked worriedly.

"Who's leaving what?" James walked up behind Peter with sticks and leaves protruding from his already tumbled hair.

"What happened to you?" Sirius asked with a smirk, "Have a run in with a bush?"

"Lily hexed me when I flew by. Made me loose my balance." James shrugged.

"Why do you bother with her anyway?" Sirius asked in annoyance, skipping stones over the lake top.

"She's beautiful!" James exclaimed, not noticing the irritation in Sirius' voice, "Especially when she's angry. And smart. And nice. And…"

"She hexed you though, didn't she? That makes her nice?" Peter asked, his mouth half-full of pretzels.

"Doesn't matter." James said dreamily with a wave of his hand, "She's beautiful when she's angry." He repeated.

"So that's why you keep pissing her off!" Sirius gave another smirk.

"It'll work one of these days!" James pulled a stick out of his hair and threw it at Sirius' head, "You'll see." Sirius picked up the stick and threw it back at James.

"James?" Peter asked, trying to diffuse the daily fight that was growing, "You wouldn't leave us for Lily would you?"

Remus looked worriedly from Peter to Sirius and then to James. Peter's eyes remained solely fixed on James, hanging onto the moment James would answer. And Sirius glared at Peter darkly, as if Peter had betrayed some great trust.

James burst out into laughter then, "Is that what you were on about?"

"Well," Peter swallowed his pretzels, "Yes."

James bend down, "Look at it this way," He put his hand out as though he were showing off some grand palace, "This is one of our grand adventures!"

"The grandest." Sirius scoffed sarcastically.

"Ah, but it is! Aren't you up for a challenge?"

"Girls aren't a challenge. They're just indecisive and confusing." Sirius said bluntly.

"Like potions class." Peter said quietly.

"This one is a challenge though! And you have to help me woo her."

"Me?" Sirius asked innocently. Though after knowing Sirius so many years it was obviously a voice with which to mock others. Sirius never said, nor did, anything innocently.

"I've tried everything! Nothing works." James slouched. It was odd for James to admit he was lost, or that he needed help with something other than homework. (Which he and Sirius usually conned Remus into doing for them anyway.) Whether James really thought he needed help and simply trusted his friends enough to confide in them or whether, in his better judgment, had decided to let this become one of their 'missions' to include his friends, whom he could have been neglecting of late, none could be sure. Save James, who was not about to tell them.

The other three knew this of course, and did not ask.

"I have yet to see you be… polite to her." Remus commented with a smile.

"I'm very polite! I hold open doors, I pull out her chair…"

"Right from underneath her!" Sirius laughed loudly.

"That only happened once." James defended himself.

"Well, you did come to the right man for a problem of love." Sirius smirked.

"When have you ever had a girlfriend?" James asked in shock. It amazed him that, perhaps, something had gone on in Sirius' life that James hadn't known about.

"Never. But I've wooed plenty!"

Mentally, James laughed. Of course Sirius had never had a girlfriend. James simply would have known.

"Oh? Do tell us when this was." Remus urged in an unbelieving tone.

"Remember last Halloween?" Sirius smirked again.

"When you walked into the ball with all those girls like a harem? That was Halloween. Not real." James crossed his arms.

"How do you think I got them to agree to do it?"

"A spell?" Peter answered.

"No, my round friend, I wooed them."

"I'm big-boned." Peter muttered.

"Okay, what do we do?" James questioned.

"I'm seeing…" Sirius put on a face oddly reminiscent of the Divination Professor's, "Chocolates. Flowers…"

"I already tried that, Pads."

Sirius ignored James' protests, "Doves…"

"Doves?" Peter echoed.

"And a good dinner proposal." Sirius' near prophetic look vanished from his face and was replaced by a smug look of satisfaction.

"Where are we going to get doves?" Peter asked.

"I would prefer to know what you're going to do with the poor creatures." Remus face mirrored his worried voice.

"Think about it! You leave Lily a bouquet of flowers. No note, but she'll figure out who it's from. Then, later, the chocolates. A nice note, not signed. You can have Remus make it sound… nice."

"Don't you think that if I wrote the note, it would defeat the purpose?" Remus interjected.

James and Sirius ignored him; too far-gone in their own world of schemes to realize he'd spoken.

"You come ask her if she got them. She'll say yes and still be shocked by your well-worded, romantic, note. You ask her to dinner, we release the doves and she'll have to say yes!"

Peter nodded, "I would."

The other three boys looked at him blankly.

"If I was her I mean! If I was a girl I'd… oh never mind." Peter fell silent face-reddened.

Remus rolled his eyes at James and Sirius, "Lads, if I write the note it will defeat the purpose of it all together."

"You said that about helping us with our homework too." James crossed his arms.

"That would be because I ended up doing most of it." Remus closed his book.

"Well you could always 'end up' doing this too." James sat down and put his hands behind him and leaned back.

"If you love her James, you should be able to write something romantic. I don't have feelings for her."

"Well then you'll proofread or something." Sirius decided as if Remus had asked to write the note in the first place. Sirius turned back to James, eager to move on.

"Alright, so where do we leave the flowers?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged, "I'm more of a…" He put his arms out as though he were hugging some large object, "Big-Picture person."

"Have you got the map?" James grabbed Sirius' bag without waiting for an answer and rummaged through it. He pulled out a blank piece of paper and laid it on the ground.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He tapped the paper with his want. A map appeared on the paper and showed the footsteps of various people around the school.

"She'll be sure to find them in the dorm." James pointed to the Gryffindor Common Room as the other three boys crowded around the map.

"I doubt that she will realize it's for her if it's in the Common Room." Remus mused.

"We can put it on her nightstand." James shrugged.

"Then we will put the chocolates there the day after?" Remus asked. Although Remus had always been the least eager to pursue in the mischief that the others caused, he had always found the planning of it great fun.

"Then I'll meet her by this tree here." James smiled broadly; this time he would win.

"I let the doves loose. You ask her to dinner. And viola! Lily shall be successfully wooed." Sirius smiled proudly.

"How are you going to get Lily to come here?" Peter asked.

"I know a girl whose friends with Lily. I'll bet she'd help us." Sirius shrugged.

"And the doves?" Remus asked.

The four boys looked at each other, each one silently asking the other.

"That can be your job, Moony." James pointed to Remus, "I'll get to Hogsmead to buy the chocolates and flowers. Sirius, go talk to that friend of yours."

"Can I come with you, James?" Peter asked hopefully.

James shrugged, "Sure. Why not?"

"Mischief managed." Sirius tapped the map with his wand and put it back in his bag. The boys began to walk off in their respective directions, leaving Remus sitting alone.

"So am I to catch these doves all by myself?" Remus called after them.

Sirius turned and waved, "We'll be back to help, Moony!"

Remus sighed.

"I have never even seen any doves around here."