Epilogue • I Think I Can Live With Being Squicked

Dr. James Timothy Possible eyed the roast chicken suspiciously, then looked up at his wife. “I thought it was brain loaf night.”

She shrugged. “I had a busier day than I expected,” she said, “so we stopped at Food Tiger on the way home.”

“Mrs. Dr. P. totally rocked,” Ron Stoppable said, from two places farther down the table. “Even during the part where she was a gerbil.”

James gave Ron a sharp look – as, he noticed, did both his wife and daughter. “Gerbil?” he asked. “Kimmie-cat, have you been going on missions with our daughter again?”

She shrugged. “Not exactly. I was doing a favor for – one of Kim’s professional acquaintances – and things got just a little out of hand.”

“Professional acquaintances,” James echoed. “We wouldn’t be talking about one of those circus folk, now would we?”

“I’m quite sure she doesn’t work for the circus,” his wife said, just as Rufus finished the scoop of mashed potatoes he’d been eating.

“Shego!” said the naked mole rat.

Ron glared down at his pet. “You weren’t supposed to tell!” he said sternly.

James Possible’s eyebrows went up. “Shego . . . that’s the woman who works for Drew, isn’t it? You were doing a favor for her?”

Kim spoke up. “It’s – complicated,” his daughter said. “And she was right to be worried; Shego could’ve gotten killed. Or gerbilized. Or maybe even zapped into another universe.”

“I see,” James said, his tone deliberately ironic. “And that’s supposed to make me less concerned? Kimmie-cat, you’re a brain surgeon, not a super-heroine.”

“I was just trying to protect Kim,” his wife protested. “I didn’t want her to get caught in the crossfire.”

“Crossfire? There was crossfire?”

The Possible women looked at each other across the table. “Oh, all right,” Kimberly Katherine said, sighing. “It was like this . . . .”

By the time she finished the story – with contributions from Kim, Ron, and Rufus – James had found a legal pad and was scrawling notes. “Quantum tether . . . vortex inducer . . . parallel universes . . . hmmm. There’s just one thing I don’t understand,” he said, looking up from the notepad. “From what you’ve told me, I don’t see how this Mell person disappeared when she did. The device your Dr. Narbon was using obviously didn’t complete its charging cycle, or they’d all have vanished – but if it wasn’t fully charged, it shouldn’t have been able to send anyone back.”

Kimberly Ann frowned. “Hmm. You know, somebody had to send Mell across in the first place – and it obviously wasn’t Helen. So she could’ve had her own recall gadget all the time.” She traded another glance with her mother. “You think they’ll try again?”

Kimberly Katherine pursed her lips thoughtfully, then shook her head. “It’s possible, but I doubt it; most likely they’ll just go on to something else.” She chuckled. “As long as Shego doesn’t write any more stories about them, anyway.”

---

“So where’s Mell?” Artie demanded as soon as the momentary wooziness from inter-universal transit had worn off. The three of them had rematerialized safely at Narbonic Labs – but they’d appeared across the room from the teleporter, rather than inside it.

A brief but thorough search of the premises failed to locate the evil intern. “No idea,” Helen said at last, peering at the innards of the quantum tether. “Maybe across the street, maybe somewhere in one of the universes between there and here. This thing was definitely not fully charged when she poofed out.”

“Not fully charged? Then it shouldn’t have worked at all, should it?” Dave asked.

“You wouldn’t think so,” Helen said. “On the other hand, those Gerbilizers Mell borrowed worked way better than I’d have thought, so who knows? Back to work, people!” she added.

Several hours later, the lab’s main entrance flew open with a bang. “Did you miss me?” came Mell’s cheerful voice.

Artie, Dave, and Helen all converged on the intern. “Group hug!” Helen announced.

“Oof! Need to breathe here!” Mell said after several moments.

“Where were you?” Dave asked. “We were worried.”

Mell pirouetted, mini-skirt flaring. “Had to shower and change,” she replied. “In case you hadn’t noticed, the locals over there did a real number on my outfit.”

Helen cocked an eyebrow at her. “You didn’t have any trouble with the transit?”

“It was a little rough,” Mell said, “but nothing serious. What took you guys so long?”

“It got – complicated,” said Helen. “The white hats over there are entirely too well equipped. I don’t suppose any of the weapons you ‘borrowed’ actually made it home intact?”

Mell shrugged. “Just a couple of the concussion grenades. I haven’t been in a firefight that messy in ages!” she added happily. “When can we do it again?”

Helen eyed her severely. “They phase-shifted a specimen jar, re-dehydrated a capture net, threatened me with high-energy plasma, fried my quantum tether, and zapped us back here with their own tech. Unlike some of us, I’m not suicidal; one trip was more than enough. However,” she added, seeing Mell’s disappointed expression, “you get an A for effort. Give me a list, and we’ll see about restocking the weapons locker.”

“But I didn’t get to flambé Shego!” Mell protested. “And those stories!”

“Under the circumstances, I think I can live with being squicked once in awhile,” Helen said, then added, “Still, it is too bad we didn’t manage to bring that red gerbil back.”

Artie glared at his creator from Dave’s shoulder. “She was a human being! That would have been kidnapping.” Then he sighed. “On the other hand, it would’ve been nice to have someone my own size to talk to.”

Helen’s eyes acquired a faraway look. “Someone your own size,” she muttered softly. And she wandered off in the direction of the genetics lab.

Artie exchanged a worried look with Dave. “She’s got an idea.”

“Yup,” Dave agreed. “Business as usual. Coffee?”

“Root beer,” Artie said, as they headed for the break room.

---

Finished! My thanks to the small but loyal cadre of readers who've stayed with me through the sometimes-long gaps between chapters.

Alert readers will have noticed that Mrs. Dr. Possible’s name morphed briefly in the initial upload of Chapter 9; I’ve now re-edited that chapter for consistency, and for this series (which is, after all, an AU, if a subtle one to this point), I choose to retain “Kimberly Katherine” as opposed to the recently canonized “Ann”. James’s dialogue above partially illustrates my reasoning. I have wondered for a long time about the origin of “Kimmie-cub”; as indicated here, it’s James’s diminutive for “Kimmie-cat”, his nickname for his wife. Also, it occurred to me that the single most likely reason we’d never heard Mrs. Dr. P’s first name prior to Season 4 was that Kim had in fact been named for her mother, and it would’ve been too confusing for viewers to hear both characters referred to as “Kim”.

The next “Sitch in Slash” story will tentatively be called “Once More With Ninjas”(but very likely not for either of the reasons you’re thinking). However, it’s very likely that the next story I actually upload will be something else. I’m presently working on two completely different KP stories – one is a non-series fusion piece; the other is the first in a projected four-part series. And I really should get back to “Monkey Chi, Monkey Du” at some point...