A/N: Hey just wanted to let you guys now that this is Samstarz1 it’s my story I just had to change my username because a lot of stuff happened, I’m sorry I haven’t updated in a while I’ll try to put up a chapter this week to make up for it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot : )

Pain, just pain. It had been so long since she had felt anything else. She was alone, she had shut herself inside a room; dark, cold and empty, the only things there were a box and her. No one knew how much pain she was in, how many times she shut herself off in her room with just her precious box of thoughts as her company. Ever since she could remember all she could feel was pain, never felt happy, she questioned the love her own mother said she felt towards her, she never had even felt sad about it; all that she felt was raw, brutal pain. Nobody understood, and I doubt anyone wanted to, this sad, lonely girl.

People are selfish by nature only worrying about themselves, what serves them; nobody worries about a stupid little girl in pain. And whenever they actually think of some one and the pain that person is feeling is just to hurt them even more, to make them feel worse, and the worst part is that they often succeed; because no matter how much a person says that they are strong the truth is that they are weak, weak of mind, of emotions. Their feelings aren’t even real, just imperfect. Feelings are annoying; just states of mind to confuse yourself and the people around you.

Love was a thing that this girl didn’t hope for anymore, she didn’t really remember if she actually ever hoped for it, in all her life she had never seen or experience true love, she was a mistake, a mistake her mother made by sleeping with a guy who really didn’t give a damn, another human male who cared only about himself, his pleasures and his possessions.

It sounds so sickening doesn’t it, that’s because it is. Sickening how he could just leave her like that to only see the mother once before disappearing to never be seen by her again; as for the child he saw her twice, the first time was when she was two, the same time she saw the mother for the last time, but she didn’t really remember that first time. The second time was when she turned 8 years old she didn’t tell her mom she saw him because that time was really an awful time for her, he said just how much he didn’t want her and how much she wasn’t wanted, how she was a mistake and wasn’t even supposed to be born, that everything would have been fine with her mom and him if only she hadn’t been born. That day she cried but not in front of him, never in front of someone who wanted to actually make her cry, never in front of anyone. To this girl humans were detestable but human males were even worse.

On that same day when she went home, she smiled; but inside she desperately wanted to cry to send this day to the deepest fires of Hades and make it disappear she hated this day and will hate it for as long as she would live, she was just a kid, she didn’t understand what was so wrong with her, why was it so wrong to be in this world, did that mean her mom didn’t want her either, she knew from the start that the rest of her family didn’t like her much but she never thought that they actually hated her and she didn’t want to even think that her own mother hated her.

She wanted to feel, if not loved, needed. And because of that feeling she made herself stronger, she swore to herself never to cry, in front of anyone or even alone, no matter how sad or how much pain she was in. She wouldn’t let people see how much she was hurting because she didn’t want to be hurt anymore. She made herself forget the day she ever saw her father, the only thing that remained from that visit was the vivid dislike of her birthday. She became quiet but never shy; she would speak up if it was necessary. Her grades were the best in her grade and she would help out around the house. But no matter what she did, she always felt that her mother never really cared for the good stuff, she only actually paid attention if she ever messed up. She tried her best no matter what, everyday she would fake her smiles, her laughs just to show that she wasn’t weak, she would pretend perfection, but every night she would go into her cold dark room with only her box for company and think, think of anything and everything, to imagine life without pain without anything...

When she was 12 her mother brought Lizzie home, Lizzie was her cousin 3 years younger than her, her parents had died in a car accident and she had lost her memory. The girl didn’t mind having someone else at home, she still tried hard but she now had someone else around, she wasn’t alone at home anymore when her mom went to work. It took the girl a lot to make Lizzie start talking, her mother had decided that it would better if Lizzie thought that they were her real family and started living together as one, and as time passed Lizzie opened up to them. And the girl found she was also opening herself up to Lizzie, maybe not as much as Lizzie was, but enough to not have to fake her smiles with her anymore. She didn’t really know why, maybe it was the fact that Lizzie just seemed as lost and broken at the start as she had always been, and if Lizzie could change like this, maybe she could too. But even then, even thought she didn’t visit her ‘room’ as often, she still did. She was still in pain. She didn’t know why...

Years later this girl turned 16 years old and this is where the real story of Casey MacDonald starts...

Her mother had an announcement for her in this special day, her birthday.